


Worth It To You

by Honestmabe, Ineffability_In_Eden (Honestmabe)



Series: Worth It To You [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aftercare, Age Difference, Airplane Sex, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Anathema has entered the chat finally, Angry Sex, Aziraphale Has Self-Esteem Issues (Good Omens), Aziraphale has no chill, Aziraphale in Lingerie (Good Omens), Aziraphale is So Done (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a Little Shit (Good Omens), Aziraphale is basically the male equivalent to a "Bond Girl", Because Crowley wishes he was James Bond, Betrayal, Blowjobs, Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Casual Sex, Cock Warming, Come Eating, Costumes, Crossdressing, Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Desk Sex, Discussion of BDSM, Dom Crowley (Good Omens), Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Fluff, Dry Orgasm, Emotional Sex, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Grocery Shopping, Human AU, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Mild Daddy Kink, Mild Gore, Mild Voyeurism, Momentary contemplation of suicide but not acting on it, Multiple Orgasms, Nightmares, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Rimming, Rough Sex, Safeword Use, Semi-Public Sex, Shower Sex, Sub Aziraphale (Good Omens), Subspace, Surveillance, Tattooed Crowley (Good Omens), Theft, Top Crowley (Good Omens), fake name, mild spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:49:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 84,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23890006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honestmabe/pseuds/Honestmabe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honestmabe/pseuds/Ineffability_In_Eden
Summary: Aziraphale is in a dark place in his life when he runs into a mysterious man at a bar and later has the best night of his life only to be ghosted the next day with no calls or anything.What is he to do when the man shows back up and Aziraphale is faced with the darker reality of what goes on in the shadows of London?
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Worth It To You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754332
Comments: 544
Kudos: 454
Collections: Good Omens Human AUs





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is a LOT heavier than what I normally write and its kinda out of my comfort zone but I am determined to expand myself as a writer lol
> 
> CW for this fic***  
> They have an age gap 22/31  
> There is violence and death in this fic (bad guys who we don't care about, not main characters obvs)  
> This WILL have a happy ending but not after some lovers to enemies to friends to lovers angst lol  
> ***If none of that is your thing, please don't bother reading because I'd rather not waste your time or mine lol
> 
> Also ***Cw warning for the first chapter***  
> At the beginning, Aziraphale is contemplating suicide. He doesn't have clinical depression, he's just in a dark place in his life and was having trouble seeing a way out of it.
> 
> After he got a good night's sleep and someone treating him nicely for the first time since he lost his mother and the people he trusted hurt him, he kind of just saw a silver lining to grasp onto. No, a guy won't magically cure your depression but sometimes a stranger being kind to you can help in profound ways
> 
> He's not suicidal really, after this, but he's still not a very trusting person and will have a few self-esteem issues to deal with.

Aziraphale Fell smiled politely at the bartender as he poured his glass. His hands shook as he reached for the drink but he was determined to not let his nerves show. Not tonight. Not on his last night.  
  
It was a last meal of sorts, except Aziraphale had made a day of it. He had crepes from his favorite crepe restaurant for breakfast. He had the loveliest lunch at the cafe he always passed on his way to campus but never tried. He even had tea and cheesecake for dessert. Now, as he looked at his last frilly cocktail, he felt emotion choking him. He normally drunk these with his best friend, well, she was his best friend until he caught her in bed with his fiance the day after his mother’s funeral.  
  
That was earlier this week. He had cut off all contact with them both and kept to himself. He wondered around the apartment he had shared with his mother since he was fourteen, gay, and disowned by his father because of it. When Aziraphale had later begun making a name for himself by publishing his first book, a memoir, his father had contacted him for the first time in years. He wanted Aziraphale to recall the books. The blond firmly declined and hung up. His mother had taken him out for crepes to cheer him up and the two of them brought his fiance and best friend along. That was less than a year ago. Now his mother was dead and everything else had fallen apart.  
  
He had just finished his drink when someone sat in the stool next to him “Hi, what are you drinking?”  
  
“Oh, its nothing spectacular, just a strawberry bellini. They were always my mother’s favorite and I’m rather fond of them myself.”  
  
“Let me buy you another one?” The stranger asked, a quirk in the corner of his mouth. Aziraphale was struck with how handsome he was. He was older than the blond, seemingly in his early thirties, with striking red hair and a sharp jawline. He was wearing glasses indoors, which seemed rather silly to Aziraphale, but it also complemented his all-black clothing and- good heavens, was that a face tattoo? Azirphale glanced surreptitiously. Yep, a face tattoo. Of a snake.  
  
“I don’t understand why you would want to.” He murmured “But I’ll accept one more if its not an imposition.” One more, and then he’ll go home and- he didn’t even want to think about the dreadful business for when he got home.

“I’m a simple man. I see a pretty guy moping by himself, I wonder why he isn’t smiling. The name’s Cowwley. Antony Cowwley.” He held out his hand and Aziraphale shook it, blushing.  
  
“My name’s Aziraphale. Pardon me, but where’s the pretty guy you mentioned because?” He gestured vaguely at himself. Chubby, with mousy dirty blond hair, and outdated clothing. His mother had always held a special love for old things and he had taken after her in that. ‘An old soul,’ she had always called him.  
  
The man smirked, “I know what I’m looking at.” Just then Queen’s Somebody to Love began playing in the bar.

Aziraphale smiled then, for the first time in a week “Oh-Oh thank you. That’s so kind.”  
  
They drank in silence for a while, not uncomfortable, just silent.  
  
Antony broke the silence after a while “Why did you look so sad? If you don’t mind me asking.”  
  
“Oh, you don’t want to hear that. It’s dreadful business, I assure you.”  
  
“Talking may help.”  
  
“My mother passed and my best friend slept with my fiance, has probably been sleeping with my fiance for a while now.”  
  
“Your fiance is an idiot.” Antony waved the bartender to give them another round of drinks as Aziraphale shrugged helplessly.  
  
“She’s beautiful and he’s so handsome. They’re better suited for each other. I just wish that they would’ve told me. He could’ve told me he had feelings for her and broke things off. I would’ve been hurt but I would’ve understood.”  
  
Crowley knocked back his drink “I'd still think he’s an idiot.”  
  
“Why would that be?” He sipped on his drink, watching the redhead take him in for a few moments.  
  
“I can’t imagine having a guy as gorgeous as you and then wanting anything else is all.”  
  
“You think I’m gorgeous?” He blushed and darted his eyes away from where the redhead was practically devouring him with his eyes.  
  
“If I’m being honest with you, I’d like nothing more than to have my way with you, if you’re consenting of course.”  
  
Aziraphale nearly choked on his bellini but caught himself, face flaming “What a bold thing to say.”  
  
“It’s the truth.” The man replied easily, paying for their tab. He leaned in close to the blond’s ear “I have a room at The Ritz if you’d like to join me. I’ll even buy you dinner first.”  
  
Aziraphale turned to him, emboldened “Throw in some good wine and I’ll be glad to.”

Azirphale had never dined at the Ritz, though it was on his bucket list. He’d never had a one night stand either, which was also on his bucket list. In fact, he had quite a few sexual exploits on his bucket list that his fiance was unwilling to try. His steps began to falter, leaving the bar, realizing he was nowhere near completing his bucket list! Some of the items were so simple, too.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted as the redhead led him to a vintage Bentley “There is no way this is your car.” He breathed out, running his hand along the bonnet.  
  
Antony’s lips twitched into a smile “It is. You like her?”  
  
“She’s gorgeous.”  
  
The redhead walked to the passenger side and opened the door “After you, sir.”  
  
Riding in a vintage car was also on Aziraphale’s bucket list, the experience wasn’t even soured by the other man’s terrifying driving.

He tugged nervously at his clothes as he got out the car “I’m not sure if I’m dressed appropriately.” He was wearing a loose white blouse and high waisted khaki pants with loafers. It wasn’t too casual but he felt underdressed as they walked through the doors.

The staff seemed to brighten at the sight of Antony and they led them to a good table. Aziraphale ordered his food nervously, hoping the price wasn’t too much for the other man. When the first course arrived he thanked the waiter politely before taking a bite, moaning at the first mouthful. Antony just stared at him.  
  
“I’m sorry-”  
  
“Don’t apologize. I’ll just consider this part of the show.” The redhead smirked and tilted his head slightly “I take it you’re a foodie. What desserts do you like?”  
  
“Oh, I ate a cheesecake today so I really don’t-”  
  
“So you’re turning down free dessert at The Ritz because of one slice of cheesecake?” The redhead’s eyes seemed to be boring into him from behind his tinted glasses.  
  
“I’ll- I’ll get fat. Well, fatter.” He stared resolutely at his food.  
  
The redhead scoffed “That’s hardly an issue. You’re soft. I like soft.”  
  
“You do?”  
  
The redhead leaned in again so no one else would overhear, the words brushing against the blond’s ear like a caress “Aziraphale, eat dessert and make more pretty noises for me and I’ll give you an even better treat when we get to my room.”  
  
The blond could hardly argue with that. 

Azirphale was hardly a virgin. He’d been sexually active since he was around sixteen, sleeping with a few of his male classmates and then he met the man that would be his fiance at eighteen and had been monogamous with him since. So he wasn’t a virgin. His sole experience though was as a bumbling teenager and then with a vanilla guy who only wanted missionary with the lights off. He’d never slept with a guy who would pick him up by his thighs and slam him into a wall while kissing the breath out of him, yet here he was. Did this count as wall sex? That was on his bucket list too.

Antony ground his bulge against Aziraphale’s still kissing him roughly, all teeth and tongue. Aziraphale was making desperate noises against his mouth, gasping when the redhead broke away to suck a bruise onto his neck before pulling him from the wall and onto the bed, giving him one more filthy kiss before standing up, watching Aziraphale lay on the bed panting “I don’t want to mess up your pretty clothes, baby. Take them off.”  
  
Aziraphale did as he was told, feeling the man’s eyes on him, still wearing the glasses “Will you take those off?”  
  
“My clothes? Obviously. I’m just enjoying the show at the moment.”  
  
“Your glasses.”  
  
Antony hesitated for a moment before removing them and placing them on the nightstand before turning back to Azirphale, his cognac-colored eyes turning molten “You’re beautiful.”  
  
Aziraphale blushed, moving his arms to cover himself. Antony grabbed his arms and pulled him closer, gently pushing him to his knees “Now for your treat, you hedonistic little thing.”  
  
The blond felt confident for the first time since entering the hotel room. He was good at blowjobs, at least. He opened the man’s belt, feeling his eyes on him as he unzipped his trousers and pulled his cock free. The redhead’s hands moved to cradle the back of his head as he closed his mouth around his cock and began bobbing his head and working his tongue. After a few moments, the man hissed in pleasure “You’re good at this.” He moaned at the praise and looked up at the man, reaching down to touch himself “I didn’t say you could do that.” He thrust his cock deeper into Aziraphale’s throat and the blond moaned again, his eyes fluttering closed as he let go of his own weeping cock.

Eventually, the man tugged on his hair and gently pulled him to his feet, maneuvering him to sit on the bed. The redhead took his clothes off then and Aziraphale took in the sight of lean muscle, littered with a few tattoos and fading scars. With an almost desperate whine, he leaned forward and began kissing and licking down the man’s chest and back towards his groin. Antony indulged him for a moment before stopping him “You’re so eager.” He ran his hands along his blond curls almost lovingly before cradling the back of his neck and tilting his head up to face him “I feel like someone hasn’t been taking good care of you. Don’t worry, I’ll take such good care of you and you’ll come on my cock like the good boy you are. Won’t you?”  
  
Aziraphale nodded desperately, watching the man grab the bottle of lube sitting on the nightstand “Hands and knees, Aziraphale.”

He eagerly complied, blushing when the man stood directly behind him and pressed the flat of his palm on Aziraphale’s back, pushing his chest closer to the bed “Good boy.” He gave his arse a light slap, not enough to hurt, and then pulled his cheeks apart to reveal his hole. The blond had barely a moment to wonder why he did that before he felt the redhead’s tongue. Oh. That was on his bucket list too.  
  
The blond let out a high pitched keening noise and he felt the redhead’s lips curl into a smirk against his skin as his tongue breached him. He didn’t have permission to touch himself, though he desperately wanted to, so all he could do was lay there and take it as the redhead did absolutely filthy and sinful things to him with his tongue.

After what felt like hours, or only a few minutes, Antony finally pulled off of him and replaced his tongue with a lubed finger, causing the blond to cry out “Shh. It’s okay, I got you. I’m taking good care of you. Just hold out a little longer and I’ll let you come. Can you do that for me?”  
  
Aziraphale nodded, eager the please the man. After a while the first finger was joined by a second, then a third sometime later. He hissed as the man finally removed his fingers. He heard the noise of a condom packet opening and Antony slicking up his cock.  
  
He was then pulled up further on the bed and flipped over to his back “I want to see the pretty faces you make when I fuck you.”  
  
Fuck him, he did. He started out gentle, swallowing every gasp and moan that Aziraphale let out. Then Aziraphale didn’t know what came over him but suddenly he gripped the man’s sides with his legs and bounced back against his cock “Fuck me. Harder.” Antony smirked and complied, thrusting harder and deeper at Aziraphale’s begging.  
  
Eventually, Antony’s thrusts became more erratic and he came, burying himself deeper inside Aziraphale’s sensitive heat with a groan. He pulled out and immediately put his mouth on the blond, who was already on the edge of an orgasm, sucking him to completion and pulling off just as the blond came.  
  
He just laid there in the aftershocks of the most intense orgasm of his life as the other man walked to bathroom and returned, wiping his own face and then wiping the precum that had dripped all over Aziraphale’s stomach before sucking another mark “How do you feel?”  
  
“Amazing.” He breathed. The redhead tucked him into the blankets as the blond stared at him “You’re good at this.”  
  
“I’ve had no complaints.” The man smirked as he crawled into bed beside him “Give me your number if you want it again.”

“Please.” He murmured, feeling his body drifting into slumber. The redhead pulled a pen and paper out of the nightstand drawer and handed them over so the blond can write his number.  
  
“I’ll call you. Now rest. You deserve it after being such a good boy.”  
  
Aziraphale fell into the most restful sleep he’d had in the past week.  
  
He woke up alone. This was okay, he reasoned with himself as he got dressed and left to go home, Antony said he’d call.  
  
A month later, Antony still hadn’t called and Aziraphale moved on with his life, devoting himself to his academic career and pushing the memory of that night, especially those dark thoughts that had haunted him that day, behind him.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for salt lol

Aziraphale absentmindedly sipped his coffee as he tapped his pencil against his homework with his free hand. He placed his gently on the side table next to his bed and groaned, slumping forward onto his spread out textbooks.   
  
He had been pouring all his energy into his studies lately and was decidedly not spending any time thinking about a handsome stranger who had given him the best sex of his life, thank you. With another groan, he sat up, muttering to himself “Come on, Az, this assignment is due tomorrow morning.” He went back to his homework for a while before he absolutely had to put it down. His hands shook and he had such a terrible headache, definitely caused by stress.   
  
The blonde shot his coffee a wrathful look “You aren’t helping at all.” A beat of silence “Oh dear, I’m talking to a cup of coffee.” He chuckled to himself and idly glanced out his bedroom window, seeing a familiar black Bentley parked across the street.   
  
“Nope. No. He didn’t even call.” He resolutely turned back to his homework, ignoring when his headache worsened. He looked out the window, the Bentley was still there.   
  
“Oh- fuck it. Fuck it.” He slung his homework to the side and checked himself in the mirror before putting on a coat and leaving his apartment.   
  
Antony wasn’t by his car so Aziraphale sighed, deciding to take a small break for cocoa and pastries from the shop down the street. He was halfway there when he saw the redhead standing outside of a building, smoking.   
  
They locked eyes for a moment and the other man stiffened, seeming to debate something before his shoulder’s slumped slightly and he inclined his head for Aziraphale to approach.   
  
“Hi, baby. What are you doing out and about this late at night?” His tone was casual as if he hadn’t ghosted Aziraphale for the past few months.

“Don’t ‘baby’ me! You didn’t even call!” He huffed, adjusting his coat “As for your other question, I was taking a small break from schoolwork and there’s a cafe that stays open late up the street.”   
  
“I lost the paper.” The man said evasively, clearly a lie. There were a few minutes of stony silence after he spoke, both men knowing that it was a lie.   
  
“Well, I suppose I best get going.” He said lamely, feeling dejected as he turned to leave.   
  
“I’ll walk you. It’s late.” Antony insisted as he put out his cigarette and threw it into a cigarette bin. He then pulled out his phone, sending a quick text.   
  
“Who says I want your company?” Aziraphale huffed, trying to preserve his dignity.   
  
“If you didn’t want my company you wouldn’t have approached me and you wouldn’t have bitched about me not calling, hmm?” His eyebrow arched over the frame of his glasses.   
  
“I did not bitch-”   
  
“You did.” Antony interjected a tilt to his head “Understandably. The truth is I don’t know what came over me when I asked for your number. Dating isn’t my scene.”   
  
“Well, you shouldn’t have assumed. I didn’t want to date you, I just wanted to sleep with you.” He spat out, walking away. Antony followed.

They entered the cafe and Aziraphale pointedly ignored the redhead as he ordered himself a cup of cocoa and some delightful looking pastries to go along with it. Just what he needed for stress relief. He firmly ignored the voice in the back of his mind suggesting stress relief in the form of a 185-centimeter (give or take) tall man that seems to think he knows what Aziraphale wants. Well, he is a fool if he thinks Azirphale is going to deal with it. So what if he was good in bed?   
  
His thoughts were interrupted as Antony sat down at the table with him, a cup of black coffee in hand. Aziraphale rolled his eyes “Of course you drink black coffee.”   
  
“You didn’t mind it when we ate at The Ritz.” Antony pointed out, checking his phone after it vibrated and looking annoyed as he fired off another text.   
  
“Well you were being nicer to me and you bought me dessert. The last thing on my mind was your black coffee.”   
  
“I’m starting so suspect its still the last thing on your mind.” Antony replied innocently, drinking his coffee. Azirphale entertained thoughts of dumping his cocoa on the man but ultimately decided it wasn’t worth the waste.   
  
“You’re right.” He smiled sweetly “I have a lot of homework to get back to. So once you finish your coffee, you’re free to stop wasting my time.”   
  
“So mean.”    
  
“You said I was bitching!”   
  
“You were.” His tone was still infuriatingly even and calm “Would you prefer I say you were fussing? Nagging? Complaining? Take your pic.”   
  
“If you don’t want people to fuss at you, maybe you shouldn’t lie about calling them.” He shot back.   
  
“I was worried you’d want to get attached.” The redhead muttered.   
  
“Why is your car parked outside of my building?” He didn’t know why he suddenly blurted the question, Antony didn’t react. That should’ve made the blond feel relieved but something felt off. Antony didn’t look confused, defensive, nothing. Just a completely blank poker face.   
  
“Is it?” He asked, his face neutral.   
  
Aziraphale suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore. Something wasn’t right. Antony’s phone vibrated, notifying a string of texts. Antony looked annoyed as he answered.   
  
“I think I need to go home now.” Aziraphale said, standing up and leaving a tip on the table.   
  
Antony stood up too “I’ll walk you.”   
  
“No, that won’t be necessary, thank you.”   
  
The man followed him outside the cafe anyway “Baby-”   
  
“Don’t call me ‘baby.’ I don’t like it.”   
  
“Alright. Sweetheart-”   
  
He whirled on him “Do you honestly not remember my name!?”   
  
“I do.” The man said, looking affronted.   
  
“Fine, say it.” He crossed his arms and stared the redhead down.

“You’re being a brat.”   
  
“You’re being a prat! I can’t believe I was ever attracted to you.” He moved to walk away and nearly screamed when he was suddenly pulled into a dark alley.   
  
Antony shoved him against the wall and leaned down to whisper in his ear “Aziraphale, I’d suggest you behave if you know what’s good for you.”   
  
“Is that a threat?” He felt his pulse quicken.   
  
“No, not from me. It’s more of a warning. London can be dangerous at night.” He stepped back but didn’t let go of him.   


“Please, don’t be silly. We’re in Soho.” He laughed weakly, trying to downplay his worry.   
  
“Aziraphale.”   
  
“What is with you and pinning me to walls?” He squirmed against the man’s grip, changing the subject “Don’t misunderstand, I don’t mind. It’s just rather worrying when we’re in an alley at night.”   
  
The taller man seemed to notice their proximity then because he stiffened slightly, seeming to debate something with himself again. A defeated sigh “Fuck it. Turn around and put your hands against the wall.”

“Here!?” Azirphale nearly shrieked. Antony just gave him a bored look, stepping away to give the blond room to move.   
  
“Yes, here. I keep a condom and packet of lube in my wallet at all times. It’s not a big deal.”   
  
“We’re in public! Why don’t we just go back to my apart-” He froze, considering, maybe that wasn’t a good idea.   
  
“I don’t go to people’s homes nor do they come to mine. I don’t fuck people in my car either and I’m sort of on a schedule right now.”

“With whoever you’ve been texting?”   
  
“Yes, not that it’s any of your business. If you’re not interested you need to tell me now so I can walk you home and get back to what I was doing.”   
  
“Which was?” He prompted.   
  
Antony just arched his eyebrow “Yes or no?”   
  
“Yes. I’m still angry with you, though.”   
  
“Tragic.” The redhead muttered as the blond turned around “You’ll have to be quiet.”   
  
“I gathered that.” He snapped.   
  
The first time they had sex, Antony had been mostly gentle until Azirphale had asked for otherwise.   
  
This time, Antony barely had two fingers in before he was pulling them out and replacing them with his cock “You good?”   
It wasn’t painful really, it was just on the side of being uncomfortable “Yes. Just get on with it.”

Antony began to thrust up into his body, holding his hand over the blond’s mouth to keep him quiet as he gripped his hip with the other hand. Aziraphale made a noise against the back of the other man’s hand and the man released his mouth and quit thrusting for a moment “Are you alright?”   
  
“Yes, I was just wondering if I can touch myself?”   
  
The redhead smirked and nuzzled the back of the blond’s neck, sucking a dark bruise “You can when you get home since you were such a brat earlier.”   
  
His hand returned to the blond’s mouth and he seemed to thrust even harder, this time whispering filthy things into the blond’s ear about how slutty he was, letting himself get fucked in an ally. Aziraphale struggled to not make noises at the filth that was being hissed into his ear. He was strangely reminded of the serpent of Eden, tempting Eve into biting into the forbidden fruit. He began eagerly pushing back against Antony’s thrusts as the man sucked more dark marks along his neck, his thrusts becoming erratic before he climaxed, pulling out Aziraphale immediately after he was done and removing his condom to toss in a nearby dumpster.    
  
The blond pulled up his pants, suddenly feeling shame creep in. Was he so stressed he’d hate-fuck the one-night stand that ghosted him in a dark ally near a dumpster? Apparently so. On a lighter note, he felt less stressed about homework.   
  
Antony broke the awkward silence after a few moments “I shouldn’t have done that. I’ll walk you home.”   
  
Their walk was quiet and Aziraphale stopped at the door to his building before turning to Antony “I won’t ask for your number this time.”   
  
“That’s probably for the best.”   
  
“So charming.” Came the sarcastic response.   
  
“Tonight was a mistake, Aziraphale.” The man said, the set of his mouth hardened.   
  
Aziraphale slammed the door in his face without another word.   


  
  
The red-haired man stared at the door for a few moments before sighing and taking off down the street. He didn’t care what some guy he fucked thought about him. At least now the blond wouldn’t approach him in public and unwittingly put himself in harm’s way.    
  
He was alone, he chose to be alone. It was better this way.   
  
The man had almost made it back to his post outside where he had been keeping watch less than two hours before when his phone buzzed, a text from Hastur.   
**  
H- Who was the blond?  
**

**C- No one, just a one night stand from a while back. I took care of it.  
**

**H- If he shows up again, I’ll be forced to take care of it.**

**C- I told you, its taken care of.  
**

**H- I don’t trust you, Crowley.**   
  
He sighed and pocketed his phone without sending a response and pulled out another cigarette. He put it between his lips and lit it before taking a long drag and blowing a stream of smoke into the cool night air “Congrats, Anthony. You broke your own rule. Never go back twice.”   
  
The man thought about what the blond was doing right now, if he was finishing himself off to the thought of what they’d done or if his words had turned the blond off entirely. Either way, he was safe as long as he stayed away from him. He’d think about why the blond’s safety mattered so much to him later, perhaps after several glasses of whiskey and Golden Girls reruns.    
  
He had just finished his cigarette when he heard an alarm ring inside the building. His signal to intervene. He pulled out his gun from the holster hidden inside his coat and attached the silencer, entering the building.   
  
Yes, the blond was better off as far away from this as possible. Anthony Crowley was determined to keep it that way.   


  
  
Azirphale regretted slamming the door as soon as he had done it. Not for Antony’s sake, the wanker had deserved it. No, he thought about the sweet elderly gay couple that lived in the apartment directly above. He worried he woke them.    
  
His suspicions were confirmed when he got to his apartment door and one of his neighbors poked his head out “Are you alright, sweetie?”   
  
“Oh, yes! I was just dealing with the most vexing man and I got carried away, I’m sorry for waking you.”   
  
“Did you tell him what’s for?”   
  
“I believe slamming the door in his face sent the message.”   
  
“Damn sure did. I suppose Sammy and I can forgive you if you bake us some of those lemon squares when you get the time.” Paul looked rather proud of him, though his smile turned to teasing about how the blond can get forgiveness.   
  
He smiled brightly at the older man “I’ll be sure to do that! I have homework tonight but after tomorrow I’ll have some free time. Sorry again for waking you!”   
  
“Goodnight, dear.”

“Goodnight!”   


  
  
Azirphale stared at the homework scattered around his bed and then moved it with an embarrassed sigh. He carefully undressed, his clothes were vintage, thank you.   
  
He laid back on the bed and stroked along his shaft, bringing himself to hardness thinking about what Antony had whispered in his ear. Azirphale didn’t take long to stroke himself to completion, biting his lip to keep down the noise.   
  
As he lay there, panting, his bare chest coated in his own spend, he muttered to himself “Fuck him and his stupid car and his stupid hair and his stupid eyes.” He got up to take a shower before returning to his homework, feeling much cleaner and more relaxed as he got started “You are going to get through college and your mother is going to be proud of you up in Heaven and you’re going to do great things that would make her proud beyond her wildest dreams. You will not act like a swooning romance novel heroine. He is NOT Mr. Darcy. If anything he’s a Heathcliff.”   
  
Feeling satisfied by his pep talk, he got back to his homework and completed it with minimal headaches.   
  
The next day he baked lemon squares for Sammy and Paul and completely forgot about the night before. It didn’t bother him. Not at all.

Sammy and Paul wanted to know what happened and seemed to find the events of the night before (Azirphale had left out the part about the sex) hilarious and called Antony ‘emotionally constipated’ which prompted a laugh from the blond. 

Things were going to back to normal, at least the new normal that he had made for himself. He felt silly for stressing his homework when he got his grades back and they were all high marks. He even made it a point to attend a few college parties and go home with the occasional guy. Things were fine.   
  
A month later, he looked up to see the Bentley parked outside of his building, once again. This time accompanied by a frantic pounding on the door. 

  
Aziraphale grabbed the heaviest self-defense object he could find- a bronze bust of Oscar Wilde “Sorry Oscar.” he whispered to his treasured sculpture as he approached the door.   
  
The pounding on the door went silent for a few minutes and Azirphale had just begun to wonder if he was hallucinating the noise at all when the door opened and the person who walked in wasn’t the masked robber Aziraphale had been imagining, no.   
  
It was Antony. With a shriek of alarm, he threw the bust at his head, watching with dread as the man caught it easily “Aziraphale-”   
  
“I’m calling the police!” He bolted for his phone and the man beat him to it, throwing it out of reach.   
  
“The police can’t help you. I can though. I need you to pack your things and we need to leave now.”   
  
“I don’t understand-” He trembled, scared. Was Antony kidnapping him? Was he stalking him this entire time? Azirphale didn’t understand.   
  
“I can explain later but we don’t have much time right now. I need you to trust me.”   
  
“Trust you!? You just broke into my house!” He yelled, forgetting his fear for a moment.   
  
“I was worried you were already dead. Unless you want to find yourself dead, you need to pack your things. Now.”   
  
Aziraphale weighed his options. Antony was shady, sure, but he had never physically harmed him even when he had Aziraphale in isolated spaces where there was ample opportunity to do so. However, none of what he was saying made sense.   
  
“Why would I be dead if I don’t go with you!?”   
  
“Because someone put a hit out on you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the plot thickens lol 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed and please be sure to leave comments and kudos!! They make my day so much brighter <3


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pettiness in this fic is so fun to write lol

Aziraphale sat in Antony’s apartment, trembling, as the other man poured them both a glass of whiskey.  
  
Antony’s apartment was minimalist, with charcoal grey walls and uncomfortable white leather furniture. It had a mostly open floor plan, a clear view of the kitchen from the living room, and two swiveling walls? Doors? They were both tilted slightly and one seemed to lead to a bedroom while the other seemed to have plants behind it. There were little to no decorations save for a few pieces of expensive-looking artwork.   
  
The blond thought about his small and cozy apartment, cluttered with books and antique furniture, the things he and his mother had collected together and loved. He felt like he was going to choke as he forced back tears and accepted the glass of whiskey from Antony “You said you’d explain so explain.”   
  
“I haven’t been entirely honest with you.” The redhead began.   
  
“Clearly.” He scoffed, looking anywhere but at the other man.   
  
“I’m not who you think I am.” He continued.   
  
“What I think you are, Antony, is an insane prick.”   
  
“My name isn’t Antony.”   
  
Aziraphale glowered at him “Wow. Spectacular.” He chugged the last of his whiskey and slammed the cup onto the expensive coffee table, wincing at the burn “Is there a single thing that you told the truth about since I met you? Maybe it’ll narrow the situation down if we start there.”

The man paused for a moment, deliberating “I didn’t lie about finding you attractive and I didn’t lie about the car being mine.”

Azirphale gave him a disbelieving look “Have you been stalking me!?”  
  
“No!” he said defensively “The hit came this morning. Until then I thought you were an ordinary civilian!”   
  
“I am an ordinary civilian! This is crazy, I’m not important enough to kill! You must be mistaken.”   
  
The redhead stood up and walked into another room before returning with a file, slapping it onto the coffee table “I know how to do my bloody job but if you think you would know better than me, please feel free to have a look.”   
  
Aziraphale picked up the file with trembling hands and opened it to see a picture of himself. Behind it was all of his information, including information about his personal life. He felt a chill run up his spine as he read through the documents, things he thought were private but apparently wasn’t. He sat the file down with trembling hands “I don’t understand.”   
  
“There’s no information on who put out a hit so they’re trying to keep their identity a secret. We’re looking for someone with money and a reputation who would be angry with you. Does that make you think of anyone?”   
  
“No. No one. I mean, my ex is an actor and my dad is an aristocrat that is well known around the city but my ex cheated on me, I’d hardly see why he’d hold a grudge and I haven’t spoken to my father in years.”   
  
The man stared at him “Your dad is an aristocrat and you live in that small apartment in Soho?”   
  
“He disowned me when I came out, said it could ruin his reputation with the catholic church. My mother divorced him and she and I moved. She was a single mother and I was in high school and later college so yes.”

“Do you think your father…?” He prompted.  
  
Aziraphale gave him a bewildered look “Heavens, no! He’s a member of the church. Sure he’s a homophobe but he wouldn’t want me dead!”   
  
“Unless you did something to piss him off. Ring any bells?”   
  
He realized then “My book.”   
  
“Your book?”   
  
“Yes. I wrote a book, a memoir of my teenage years, and coming out as gay in an aristocratic family. It’s a bestseller, you may have heard of it.”   
  
“No, not me. I don’t read books.”   
  
“Oh, so that’s what’s wrong with you?” He ignored the man’s withering look in response to his quip as he pressed on “He called me and asked me to have the books recalled but I refused.”   
  
“It may be nothing but that’s a good lead to start with.” The man stood up, texting on his phone.   
  
Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably “Are you a hitman?”   
  
He quirked his brow “No.”   
  
“So you’re just a random guy that got invited to be apart of a murder? That's feasible.”   
  
He sighed, pocketing his phone “My name is Anthony J. Crowley. I’m what you’d call a spy. I take hits as jobs, yes, but they’re normally bad people involved in terrible things. Not- Not you.”   
  
Aziraphale processed that information “You must not be a good spy. Your fake name rhymes with your real one.”   
  
Anthony Crowley didn’t respond and just poured himself another glass of whiskey.   
  
“Anthony, why are you helping me? Surely it would be easier for you to just do the job.”   
  
“Crowley. You will call me Crowley. I don’t do first names. As for the answer to your question, I don’t know. I just know I’m not comfortable with killing you.”

The silence stretched out for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say. Crowley eventually stood up “I’m going to look further into this. You stay in here, don’t let anyone in and don’t leave.”  
  
“I’m not a prisoner!” He huffed.   
  
“No, but I don’t trust anyone who claims to be innocent nor do I trust you going outside without me. Am I understood?”   
  
Azirphale nodded, fuming.   
  
“Help yourself to anything you like in the kitchen except my alcohol. The tv remote is in the end table drawer. I’ll be back late tonight.”

Aziraphale didn’t answer.  
  
Crowley left without another word.   
  


He was in the kitchen, searching for food, when the door opened. The man who walked in wasn’t Crowley, far from it. He was tall and gangly with a dark mop of curly hair and thick-rimmed glasses. He stopped short at the sight of Aziraphale “Who are you?”  
  
Aziraphale didn’t know if it was a good idea to answer that “Crowley said not to let anyone in…”   
  
The man laughed lightly then “I have a spare key for emergencies. I thought he told me to drop by.” He checked his phone then blushed “Oh, I read it wrong. He meant tomorrow.”   
  
Aziraphale just shifted awkwardly “Are you um… his boyfriend?”   
  
The man burst out laughing “Oh no! No. I’m straight. We’re just something like friends is all. Hi, I’m Newton Pulsifer but you can just call me Newt.” He held out his hand “I’m assuming you’re ‘emergency’ but I suspect you have a name?”   
  
The blond shook his hand “I’m Aziraphale Fell.”   
  
The man stopped short, blushing scarlet “You’re Aziraphale Fell!? The author?”   
  
“Yes, that’s me!”   
  
“I loved your book! It doesn’t relate to my personal experience but it was such a heartwrenching and bittersweet read.”   
  
“Oh thank you, dear boy.” He blushed at the praise.   
  
Newt looked around “I take it Crowley isn’t here and he just left you to entertain yourself?”

The blond grimaced “Something like that.”  
  
Newt grinned “I’ll take this opportunity to kick back with a celebrity as the opportunity presents itself.” He grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle of wine out of the liquor cabinet and then grabbed a tub of ice cream out the fridge “What movies do you like?”   
  
Azirphale was alarmed “Crowley said not to touch his alcohol!”   
  
“Crowley can bugger off. It’s not like he can’t afford to replace it.”   
  
“You don’t understand. I think he’s dangerous.” He said carefully, not wanting to give away the information he’d been given that day.   
  
Newt laughed “He’s not going to do shit about us stealing his alcohol. He’s more bark than bite while not on the job.” With that, he grabbed two spoons and dipped them into the ice cream tub “Will you bring the wine?”   
  
Aziraphale did as Newt requested and they settled on the couch. Newt even walked into Crowley’s bedroom and came out with a large gray fleece blanket and two pillows. He passed a pillow to Aziraphale and settled in on the couch next to him and pulling up the main menu “What are you in the mood for?”   
  
“Something happy that doesn’t involve my life.”   
  
“You seem like a period piece sort of guy.”   
  
“Perceptive.”   
  
They looked at each other before saying “Pride and Prejudice” in unison, laughing.   
  
“This is important, Mr. Fell. Which version?”   
  
“Two-thousand-five. I’m gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide but Keira Knightley could step on me.”   
  
“Right on.” Newt laughed as he pulled up the movie.

They ate ice cream out of the tub and made jokes about the movie (Especially Mr. Darcy being awkward) and Aziraphale could almost pretend his life wasn’t in danger, that he was just hanging out with a new friend and having a movie night.  
  
They had just made it to the first proposal scene when Crowley came home. He stopped short at the sight of them “Aziraphale.”   
  
“I barged in and took advantage of the situation!” Newt responded hurriedly “I’m a fan of his! Plus he looked so cute and sad, I had to make him happy.”   
  
Newt nudged him under the blanket to go along and Aziraphale waved his spoon at the tub of ice cream he and Newt had shamelessly decimated “It’s true. I had no choice in the matter. I’m happy now, at least I would be if you weren’t interrupting my favorite scene.”   
  
Crowley glanced at the tv, watching Elizabeth Bennet reject Darcy “Keira Knightley could get it.”   
  
“Right on!” Newt and Azirphale said in unison as Crowley sat in the chair nearby, folding himself awkwardly.   
  
“I see the two of you have been getting chummy.” There was an edge to his voice “I thought I said no alcohol.”   
  
“He’s not underage, Aj. Besides he seemed stressed.”   
  
“I know he’s old enough to drink, I just don't think him being inebriated is best right now, should something happen.” Crowley groused “I told you to stop by tomorrow.”   
  
“I misread and stopped by today and I’m glad I did. Why do you have another human being inside your apartment? This is unprecedented for you.” Newt looked amused.   
  
“There’s a hit on him and I don’t want to kill him. I need you to help me make him unrecognizable so he can leave the apartment for short periods without being discovered. I’m working on handling the rest.”   
  
Newt raised his eyebrows at Aziraphale “Ah such is the life of a writer.” He said in an overly posh voice, causing Aziraphale to giggle.   
  
Crowley untangled his limbs and stood up from the couch “I’m going to bed. Newt, show him to the guest room when you get done with your movie.” He went into the bedroom and the door swiveled closed behind him.

Aziraphale glanced at the closed door “What’s his problem?”  
  
“He’s a grouch.” Newt laughed.   
  
“How do the two of you know each other?”   
  
“We went to school together. I was that awkward kid and Aj was the grouchy bisexual kid so we stuck together instead of dealing with everyone else. I grew out of my need to seek isolation but Aj never did. I mean, his job sort of requires secrecy and that amount of secrecy doesn’t do well for friendships or relationships so he just keeps to himself.” He gave Aziraphale a searching look “That’s why I’m so confused about you. He doesn’t let people besides me into his apartment, at all. Ever.”   
  
Aziraphale shrugged as he turned back to the tv, seeing Newt had reminded back to the proposal scene “Darcy is such an idiot.”   
  
“Eh, true. People can suck at emotions, some more than others.” He glanced at Aziraphale out the corner of his eye, searching. The blond didn’t notice.   
  


Aziraphale was nowhere to be seen the next morning when Newt came back over. Crowley sent him a grumpy look before taking the eggs off the burner “I made the two of you breakfast. Coffee’s in the pot.”  
  
Newt glanced around “Where’s Zira?”   
  
The spatula Crowley was holding clattered into the pan “I thought you were straight, Newton.” His tone was deceptively neutral.   
  
Newt scoffed “I’m most definitely straight. You don’t have to worry about me flirting with your crush.”   
  
“He’s not my crush.”   
  
“You got jealous last night because I made him laugh.” He chuckled at the death glare his friend sent him as he passed him a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast “You’re so grumpy.” He teased.   
  
“I don’t get jealous.” Crowley groused, pouring himself a cup of coffee before sitting down at the kitchen island next to Newt.   
  
“Come on, you can’t fool me. He’s so pretty-”   
  
“I don’t give a damn about him. I just feel uncomfortable killing someone I fucked. Happy?”   
  
Newt frowned and opened his mouth to say something and stopped short as he saw Crowley stiffen.   
  
Aziraphale stood in the doorway, freshly showered and wearing a tartan pajama set, looking furious “I suppose you’re good at keeping things to yourself unless it’s involving the notches on your headboard.”   
  
Crowley stayed silent and sipped his coffee, looking away. Aziraphale turned on his heel and stormed off. After a moment, Crowley followed.   
  
Newt heard the sound of a door slamming and Crowley yelling “Stop slamming bloody doors in my face! You’re in MY house!”   
  
“Fuck you!” Was Aziraphale’s response. With a sigh, Newt began fixing Aziraphale a plate of food, guessing he would prefer blackberry jam on his toast, and prepared him a coffee. It was another guess but he put plenty of sugar and cream.

When he was heading out of the kitchen, Crowley stalked by toward the door “I’ll be back.” He slammed the door behind him.

Newt sighed. He loved Crowley but he could be such an arse at times, especially when confronted with change.  
  
When Newt had first walked into Crowley’s apartment, he had been shocked to see the blond and even more shocked to find out his identity. He was cute, Newt had decided. He had dirty blond curls and striking blue eyes with a daintily upturned nose. He wasn’t Crowley’s usual ‘hit it and quit it’ type which struck him as odd but not nearly as odd as Crowley not only letting this guy into his apartment but letting him stay in here unsupervised. The man had several safe houses scattered across London that he could’ve easily brought the blond to but instead he had brought him into his own home. Interesting.   
  
He had noticed how frightened and on edge the blond was so he overcame his usual shyness to try and make him feel better and it seemed to work but clearly Aziraphale and Crowley were at odds. He decided that he was going to be Aziraphale’s friend and make sure he’s okay in all this.   
  
He knocked on the guest bedroom door and heard a sniffle “Go away, Crowley!”   
  
“It’s me?” He nervously phrased it as a question.   
  
The door unlocked and Aziraphale opened it, his nose pink at the tip, and his eyes shiny “Is he gone?”   
  
“Yeah, he left to go mope somewhere. I brought you breakfast and coffee.”   
  
Aziraphale smiled slightly, opening the door to let Newt in as he made his way back to the bed, accepting the food and coffee “You must think I’m rather silly, crying like this.”   
  
“No, not silly.”   
  
“I knew. I knew he didn’t give a damn about me and that I was just a sexual object to him but somehow it still hurt like hell to hear it.” Azirphale wiped a tear away from his eye “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m emotional.”   
  
“You’re going through a lot right now, it’s more than okay to cry. I’m sorry on Crowley’s behalf that he’s such an arse. I promise he’s not a bad person.”   
  
“No, he’s just a self-centered prick that thinks he’s god’s gift because he’s good in bed. Bastard.” He muttered into his coffee.   
  
“That’s fair.” He nudged the blond, causing him to smile. After Aziraphale finished breakfast they took up their positions on the couch from the night before.   
  
“May I make a suggestion? If you don’t like it we can turn it off but this has all those cute romantic tropes you seem to like.”

“By all means! I don’t watch much tv, in fact, I haven’t owned one since I was fourteen. I was having such a vexing experience trying to find something to watch before you showed up yesterday.”  
  


Crowley came home with several bags from beauty stores and designer clothing stores, still grumpy. He did a double-take when he saw what they were watching “What the hell is that?”  
  
“Sailor Moon.” Aziraphale answered, “It’s about being a nice person, not that you can relate.”   
  
Looking affronted, he held up his handful of bags “I bought you Gucci!” It was rather comical, all things considering.   
  
Azirphale glowered at him, his tone frosting over “That means nothing to me.”   
  
With a sigh, Crowley tossed the shopping bags on the coffee table and took a seat. He watched the show with them for a few minutes “What do the villains do?”

“I beg your pardon?” Aziraphale asked.  
  
“I mean, what do they do when she’s transforming? Do they just stand there and watch?”   
  
Aziraphale scrunched his eyebrows in thought before looking frustrated “You’re stressing over minor details and not looking at the big picture.”   
  
“It is LITERALLY my job to stress over minor details.”   
  
“It is LITERALLY my job to stress over minor details.” The blond mocked in an overly nasal voice, causing Newt to snicker.   
  
“You’re so immature.”   
  
“Awe, you wound me. Hey, look!” He pointed at the tv where Mamoru was on screen “You should like him. He’s rude. Just. Like. You.” He reached over and booped Crowley’s nose, to the man’s annoyance.   
  
Newt smirked and felt himself relax, realizing the nature of the bickering. They’ll figure it out eventually.   
  


Aziraphale stared at Newt nervously as the man puttered about in the bathroom “Is this necessary?”  
  
“Unfortunately, we need to make you look different enough to be able to go in public without being recognized. If it helps anything, I’m really good at this.”   
  
Azirphale looked skeptically at the bleach and developer concoction Newt was mixing “Alright… if you say so.”   
  
Newt went to work, first bleaching his hair then applying a toner. It was platinum blond, nearly white when he was done and damn, did it look good. Aziraphale moved to turn around and Newt wouldn’t let him “No, please let me have this! I want to see you look in the mirror after I’m finished.   
  
The blond nodded as Newt quickly went about styling his hair, adding curling mousse to define his curls more. He then applied makeup, much to the blond’s delight “You know how to do makeup?”   
“Yeah, I learned it from my older sister because she wanted me to help her and her friends get ready for prom and such. I also helped Crowley a lot when he was going for a more androgynous look.”   
  
After finishing Aziraphale’s makeup he turned to the numerous bags of designer brand clothes “Jesus, how much did he spend?”   
  
He pulled out a camel-colored two-piece suit, an off white silk shirt with a frilly collar and some brown leather loafers, noting that this outfit alone had to be worth at least fifteen grand. Was Crowley wanting a sugar baby? He laughed at the thought as he handed the clothes to Aziraphale for him to change while he was turned around.   
  
After a few moments of rustling fabric, Aziraphale huffed “I don’t see why he had to buy me clothes, my own clothes were fine.”   
  
“Maybe he meant it as an apology?”   
  
“It’s a piss-poor excuse of one. If money impressed me, I would’ve stayed closeted and stayed with my father.”   
  
Newt hummed in agreement. Aziraphale was quiet for a few moments “You can turn around. I bet I look stupid.”   
  
The brunet man turned around and smiled at his handiwork “You look great! Dressed like that he’ll have no choice but to give you a better apology. Dinner.”   
  
Aziraphale winked at him “You get me.”

Crowley sat in the living room, tapping his feet impatiently. He suddenly heard an alarmed noise coming from the guest bedroom, unmistakably Aziraphale’s voice. He rushed in and stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
Aziraphale looked stunning. Not his normal softness and natural beauty. His hair was nearly white, almost giving off a glow and he was wearing makeup. The clothes suited him perfectly, especially the haughty way he tended to carry himself.   
  
It took a few minutes to realize he had been staring “You- You look different.”   
  
He turned and left.   
  


Aziraphale walked into the living room a few minutes later, still wearing the suit “I’m hungry.”  
  
“We have food in the kitchen.” Crowley didn’t look up from his phone.   
  
“Crowleyyy-” He whined.   
  
Crowley stood up silently and headed toward his bedroom, calling out for Newt to borrow one of his suits, they were going out for dinner.   
  
Aziraphale smiled smugly to himself before he caught his reflection in the mirror. He didn’t look like himself, not in a bad way, just different. It was rather refreshing. He’d always liked the thought of makeup but didn’t think he had the face for it. He’d thankfully been wrong. And oh, he’d have never had the nerve to dye his hair. But the lighter blonde was a nice change.

Change. He frowned. Just how much of his life was about to change because of this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newt is definitely the kind of person to try to get all his friends addicted to anime lol OH and toxic masculinity? Newt doesn't know her. lol
> 
> Aziraphale's suit: https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/men/ready-to-wear-for-men/suits-blazers-for-men/blazers-for-men/gg-canvas-jacket-p-563510ZKU092580
> 
> Aziraphale's shirt: https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/women/ready-to-wear-for-women/tops-shirts-for-women/blouses-for-women/silk-shirt-with-detachable-jabot-p-596710ZAAOG9205
> 
> Aziraphale's shoes: https://www.gucci.com/us/en/pr/men/shoes-for-men/lace-up-shoes-for-men/leather-lace-up-with-brogue-detail-p-598300D3V002254


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please accept this long chapter after my 2-day absence lol 
> 
> ***SPOILER*** Its mostly porn

Crowley took them to the Ritz and Aziraphale had a vague sense of deja-vu save for his clothes actually being appropriate and the fact that Newt was with them so there wouldn’t be any checking into a room that night.   
  
The staff greeted Crowley with the same delight as the time before and the three men were led to a table. Aziraphale felt eyes on them as they walked through the restaurant and he turned to Crowley “Why are people looking at us?”   
  
A hand touched his lower back but Crowley didn’t look at him “They’re looking at you.”   
  
Aziraphale laughed then and linked his arms through both the other men’s, to Newt’s delight and Crowley’s annoyance “Only because I have two stunning dates.”

“It’s not a date.” Crowley snapped. Aziraphale mock pouted at him.   
  
Newt nudged him playfully as they reached their table “Don’t worry about him, Zira, I’ll be your date.” He pulled out Aziraphale’s chair to empathize with his point. Crowley, who had been reaching to do the same, dropped his hand before plopping into his seat, scowling. Aziraphale wondered what his problem was as he grinned at Newt and sat down.

They opened their menus and Newt made a startled noise “I knew it was expensive here but I didn’t expect this!”   
  
Crowley dropped his scowl but rolled his eyes “I’m paying, idiot. Consider it payment for helping out earlier.”   
  
Newt wrinkled his nose at him teasingly “Oh, you’re so sweet. You should join me and Aziraphale on our date instead of third-wheeling.”   
  
Aziraphale laughed, Crowley’s scowl returned. The blond nudged him after Newt had returned to perusing the menu “Why are you so grumpy?”   
  
“Just nervous about you being out is all. Keep your guard up.” He muttered under his breath.   
  
The blond nodded and started looking over his menu, he considered ordering what he ordered the first time because it was quite delicious but he decided to try something new. Who knows how many opportunities he’ll have to dine here in the future. He supposed this will end when he’s no longer in danger and Crowley no longer has a reason to keep him around. He didn’t understand why the thought of that put a pit of dread in his stomach.

Crowley leaned over to whisper in Aziraphale’s ear, his lips brushing against his skin as he spoke “Make sure to order dessert.” He then pulled back as if nothing happened. Aziraphale didn’t have to be told twice.   


Before dessert was served, Aziraphale excused himself to go to the men’s room. Crowley stood to follow and Aziraphale rolled his eyes “Alone. I’m going to the men’s room alone. I won’t be gone long.”   
  
Crowley scowled but sat back down. Newt watched Aziraphale as he walked out of earshot “It wouldn’t kill you to be nicer to him.”   
  
“I am being nice.” Crowley muttered, knocking back his wine.   
  
“No, you’re spending money on him. There’s a difference. You could’ve at least told him he looks good instead of ‘different.’”   
  
“My priority right now is keeping him safe, that doesn’t require me being nice to him. Need I remind you that I’m just uncomfortable with killing him? I don’t actually care if something happens to him, I just don’t want to be the one to do it.”   
  
“Then pass the hit to someone else.” Newt answered simply.   
  
Crowley gawked at him “I couldn’t do that!”   
  
The other man shrugged “Why not? You said you don’t care if something happens to him. Give the job to someone else and send him home.”   
  
“Because-” Crowley made a few incoherent noises “He- We- Newt.” He said the last word with an embarrassed groan “Fine, I don’t want anything to happen to him.”   
  
New grinned then “Oh I know, it’s just nice to hear you admit it. Now, your next step is telling him that.”   
  
“Just because I don’t want him hurt doesn’t mean I want him to get attached to me nor I to him.”   
  
“And yet he’s in your apartment, not any of your safehouses. You made a shitty attempt at apologizing for making him upset today, and that’s a step for someone who doesn’t apologize at all. He whines literally once and you took him to the bloody Ritz. You’re attached.”   
  
“I’m not.”   
  
“Okay, Aj. Whatever you say.” Newt began playing on his phone and they sat in silence for a few minutes.   
  
Their waiter brought their dessert and Crowley looked in the direction Aziraphale had gone “He’s been gone ten minutes. I’ll uh- go check on him and let him know his dessert is here.”   
  
Newt snorted in amusement, Crowley pointedly ignored it as he walked away.   
  
Aziraphale turned out to not be in any danger unless being flirted with by overly amorous wealthy men in the hallway on the way back to the dining room was a form of danger. He smiled fakely as he approached and Aziraphale noticed him “Antony! I’m sorry, I got caught up talking to Mr. Taylor. He’s been so kind and complimented my outfit you bought me.” Crowley noted that he used the fake name. Good boy.   
  
“Oh, Ezra, if a man can look at a vision as lovely as you and not complement it, he is a blind man, indeed.” The man flirted, touching Aziraphale’s elbow. Crowley barely noticed. Aziraphale was using a fake name. 

He felt something like pride as his grin turned genuine “Sweetheart, our dessert arrived.” He had the feeling Aziraphale was implying to the other man that Crowley was his sugar daddy and was amused to see he was correct as the blond stepped away from the man and clung to Crowley’s arm as he pressed a quick kiss to his cheek “Thank you for the dessert, sir.”   
  
The blond moved to walk away and Crowley winked at him, catching his wrist gently “Are you going to leave Mr. Taylor hanging? I believe he will at least want your number.”   
  
“Oh!” The blond smiled sweetly as he turned back to the other man “I’m sorry, I don’t have a phone. I suppose I’ll see you around!” With that, he walked away.   
  
Crowley tried not to look smug as he smiled politely at the other man left standing in the hallway “He really likes dessert. Ciao.”   
  


Aziraphale was happily eating his dessert and making small noises in between chatting with Newt about whatever the other man was eating. Crowley just sat next to him and watched him eat, soaking up every noise the other man made. The blond giggled at a joke Newt made and he looked so beautiful and carefree at that moment, Crowley felt something weigh on his chest. He’d never really seen the blond happy, he realized. He’d seen him nervous, turned on, angry, but never happy. He ignored how that didn’t sit right with him and joined in conversation with the occasional comment throughout dinner, his eyes periodically scanning the room for potential danger.   
  
The ride home was mostly silent and Newt departed from the group in the parking lot, heading over to a beat-up blue car with a “Dick Turpin” sicker on the bumper.   
  
Aziraphale laughed “Why in the world does your car say ‘Dick Turpin?’”   
  
“Oh, that’s his name! Would you like to know why?” Newt asked enthusiastically.   
  
Crowley grabbed Aziraphale’s arm “Nope, no time. Goodnight, Newt.”   
  
“‘Night Aj! Goodnight, Zira! Our date was wonderful!” He winked playfully before heading to his car   
  


They entered the flat and Aziraphale turned to him “Are you alright?”   
  
“Yeah, why?”    
  
“You seem tense.” The blond reached out and wrapped his arms loosely around Crowley’s shoulders, smiling coyly “Were you jealous that a man was flirting with me?”   
  
Crowley scowled and the blond’s smile widened, showing his teeth “Admit it. You’re jealous.”   
  
“I don’t get jealous.”   
  
“Really?” The blond stepped impossibly closer, his hand idly caressing the small hairs on the back of the taller man’s neck “Because he wanted to fuck me, even invited me up to his room. He told me he’d buy me even prettier clothes. I declined politely, told him I was on a date with my sugar daddy and you were so terribly possessive of me.”   
  
Crowley’s hands gripped the blond’s waist absentmindedly “I don’t get jealous.” He repeated.

“Oh, so you don’t mind if I-” He was cut off as he was pinned against the wall, the taller man’s lips on his. The kiss became rough and hungry and the taller man pulled back and leaned in to whisper in the blond’s ear as he ground his bulge against the other man’s.   
  
“I don’t care if someone fucks you. Hell, I’d watch. I’d fuck you afterward if he doesn’t satisfy that itch your hedonistic tendencies made so hard to scratch.” His voice was a low growl. The blond whined and the redhead nipped his ear “But you don’t want that, do you? You wanted me to find you. You hoped I’d get pissed and would be rough with you. I’d call you a slut but I feel those urges of yours are exclusive to me.”

The blond’s knees almost buckled under him but the other man had a firm grip on him “Am I correct?”   
  
Aziraphale responded by shoving him into the opposite wall, kissing him hungrily. The other man let him take control of the kiss, his hands roaming downwards to grip his ass. The blond pulled back from the kiss, dragging the other man’s lower lip between his teeth as he did so “Stop talking. Let me thank you for dessert.” He dropped to his knees, working at the other man’s belt.    
  
Crowley stopped his hands “Please don’t suck me off if it’s because I bought you something.”   
  
“Don’t flatter yourself. I just like your cock, I don’t care about your money.” He rolled his eyes as the other man pulled him up to his feet.    
  
“Bedroom.” Crowley ordered.   
  
Aziraphale walked in the direction of the master bedroom and Crowley stopped him, redirecting “I don’t have sex with people in my room. Too personal.”   
  
“Oh, so we’re using mine?”   
  
“It’s not yours, it’s a guest bedroom.” The other man pointed out.   
  
Aziraphale rolled his eyes as they entered his temporary room “You say you don’t want to get personal and yet you believe I only want to have kinky sex with you?”   
  
“No, I believe you’ve only had kinky sex with me so you associate that with me. There’s a difference. Take off your clothes and do it slowly.”   
  
Crowley sat on the bed and loosened his tie, tilting his head as if to ask Aziraphale what he was waiting for, his eyes unreadable behind his glasses.   
  
“Take those glasses off and I will.” The blond snapped.   
  
The redhead removed his glasses and tossed them onto the nightstand “I think you’re forgetting who’s in charge here.”   
  
Aziraphale scoffed “Oh, you’re in charge?”   
  
“Would you rather take charge?”   
  
The silence that blanketed the room was telling. It was broken by the shifting fabric of Aziraphale undressing.

Crowley watched, rubbing himself through his pants as more and more skin was exposed, watching blue eyes track the movement of his hands. He stood up, grabbing a decorative pillow off the bed before placing it on the floor in front of the blond “Kneel here until I get back. If you touch yourself I’ll make you regret it.”   
  
“I think you’re underestimating how much I’d enjoy being punished.” The blond muttered petulantly, doing as he was told.

Crowley ran his hands through Aziraphale’s blond curls almost affectionately “I’ll take note of that. For now, behave yourself.” He left the room.   
  
Aziraphale didn’t know how long he sat there until Crowley came back, naked, and carrying a bottle of lube and a few condoms. He sat them on the nightstand before returning to the blond “If I recall correctly, you’re rather good at this part.” He ran his hand through Aziraphale’s hair before gripping it firmly but not enough to hurt as he lined his cock up to the blond’s lips. Aziraphale made eye contact with him as he swallowed his cock as deep as he could. Golden eyes fluttered briefly before staying locked on to his as the blond bobbed his head, swirling his tongue and sucking the other man’s cock “Good boy. You’re so good at this, putting that mouth of yours to good use.”   
  
The blond took him deeper and gagged slightly and Crowley pulled him off his cock by his hair “Don’t hurt yourself.”   
  
“I’m not.” He assured, leaning forward to chase the other man’s erection with his mouth. The man indulged him for a few more minutes before pulling him off gently “Get on the bed, on your back with your legs bent and spread.”   
  
The blond eagerly did so and the man stared at him for a few moments “Put your hands above your head and keep them there. If you move them I will punish you for it. Pick a word for if you want to stop.”   
  
Aziraphale was confused “Saying ‘stop’ wouldn’t work?”   
  
“If you and I keep doing this, we’ll need a safe word, one you wouldn’t say during sex. Pick one.”   
  
The blond’s mouth made a small ‘o’ as he contemplated that “I guess ‘crepes?’”   
  
Crowley snorted “Of course you choose a food.”   
  
“Crowley?” The blond sat up and Crowley hummed for him to continue “Are we engaging in BDSM?”   
  
Crowley blinked at him and the blond took that as a queue to continue “I’ve read some books about it before and I mean, I was always rather interested so if you um, want to-”   
  
“You want me to dom you?” Crowley was still staring at him.   
  
“Yes, I suppose I rather do.” He blushed, looking away “You make me feel good when we- do this.”   
  
“Oh, don’t act shy now. You want to be my sub but you won’t even behave yourself. Lay back down like I ordered you to.” The blond complied, smiling to himself.   
  
“Is that a yes?”   
  
“It’s a ‘maybe.’ Now, relax.” The redhead muttered as he pushed a lubed finger inside of the blonde.

Aziraphale made a small whining noise at the intrusion but relaxed after a moment, allowing Crowley to began thrusting his finger in and out.   
  
“Crowley! Crowley! Please- just-”   
  
“You’ll take what I give you.” He kissed the inside of the blond’s thigh as he continued his ministrations “Do you want to know why I like fucking you?” Aziraphale nodded. Crowley added another finger “I consider it a bit of a challenge.”   
  
Aziraphale bucked back against his fingers, panting “How so?” He cried out again as the other man added a third finger “Crowley!”   
  
“Patience.” He nipped at his thigh “It’s a challenge because you seek pleasure.” He pressed all three fingers against Aziraphale’s prostate, causing the blond to arch his back off the bed and wail in pleasure “You need someone to be able to give you what you want and you won’t be truly satisfied if they can’t. You’re a hedonist with the face of an angel.”   
  
He kept his fingers inside of Aziraphale as he moved until he was looming over him, still pumping his fingers in and out of the blond, brushing his prostate each time “Come for me.”    
  
“I can’t-” He panted, feeling his orgasm build despite his protests.   
  
Crowley nipped his ear, whispering “You can. You want to please me, don’t you? Then come. Come for me, angel.” He accentuated the pet name by pressing all three fingers against his prostate, hard.   
  
Aziraphale’s back arched, white exploding in his vision, as he came all over both their chests. He panted as the other man stroked the bundle of nerves inside of him until his pants turned to overstimulated whimpers and the redhead removed his fingers.

He draped his arm across his forehead, his body feeling the most relaxed it had in years “Fuck.”   
  
“Aziraphale.” A warning tone “I told you not to move your hands.”   
  
The blond removed the arm covering is eyes “But I thought we were done?”   
  
“Do I look done?” The blond’s eyes drifted down to the other man’s cock that still hung heavy between his legs.   
  
“Oh, I suppose no-”   
  
“Turn over. What’s your word?”   
  
“Crepes?” The blond answered, but phrased it like a question as he rolled over onto his stomach. He got in a position similar to the one Crowley had him in that first night they spent together and it must’ve been the right thing to do because the man made a pleased hum, gripping his ass before kneading it firmly.   
  
“Good boy. Remember it.” He smacked Aziraphale’s ass lightly, just enough to sting, before kneading it “You’re so spoiled. I let you come first and you won’t even behave for me.” He gave Aziraphale’s ass another slap, this one harder and sharper “Word?”   
  
“‘M’Good” Aziraphale wiggled, against Crowley’s hold.   
  
“Good. I’m going to give you five slaps total, those were your first two. If it’s too much, use your word.”

“Yes, sir.” He felt another sharp slap “Three.” Another, harder “Four.” Another “Five.”   
  
He panted, his ass cheek slung slightly, but not enough to be much of a hindrance. He wiggled suggestively “I don’t think that was a harsh enough punishment. Surely you could do better than that.”   
  
Crowley bit him on his ass with something resembling a chuckle “Cheeky. I just wanted to get you hard again.”   
  
Aziraphale scrunched his brows “Why would I need to be-” Crowley slammed into him then, all the way up to the hilt, causing the blond to scream in pleasure “Crowley! Crowley!” The redhead bucked into him so hard, the headboard repeatedly knocked into the wall. If the other man was worried about damaging the wall, he wasn’t showing it as he thrust roughly into the blond, causing tears to spring to his eyes.   
  
“You’re so tight, angel. So tight and pretty and misbehaved, just for me.” He growled low in Aziraphale’s ear before sucking a dark mark onto his neck.   
  
“Crepes!” He shouted and the rough thrusting stopped completely and Crowley pulled out.   
  
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Crowley actually looked worried and Aziraphale blushed.   
  
“No, I just got overwhelmed and then you said I was misbehaved and I suppose I got confused because I thought I was in trouble.” He pouted, embarrassed “I also wondered if you really would stop. I’m glad you respected that.”   
  
“Why would that confuse you?” He flipped Aziraphale over onto his back, sending the blond a questioning look.   
  
“I thought I was supposed to be behaving.” He pouted more.    
  
“Can we resume? I want to make something abundantly clear to you.”   
  
In answer, the blond moved back to his previous position and Crowley entered him again slower this time. He pulled the whimpering, overly sensitive blonde closer, their sweaty bodies sliding against each other “Just so we’re clear. I don’t like boys who behave. I like pretty boys with filthy mouths that know how to use them.” He then pulled all the way out before slamming back in and resuming his punishing pace from before, like Aziraphale safe-wording hadn’t turned him off at all.

The blond tried not to scream but Crowley seemed to be aiming every brutal thrust at his prostate, which was still a bit sensitive from earlier. He clamped his hand over his mouth just for the redhead to snatch it away and pin his arm to the bedsheets by his wrist “No covering those pretty noises, angel. I want you to sing for me.”   
  
“Someone will hear-”   
  
“Scared they’ll hear you screaming like a desperate slut?” The redhead asked before stopping his thrusting completely and just roughly pushing his cock against Aziraphale’s prostate and keeping it there, causing the blond to wail and babble incoherently as Crowley leaned down to whisper in his ear, a light purr against the onslaught of noise in the room “My walls are soundproof, angel. Relax and let me fuck you like you want.” He mercifully pulled his cock back, causing the blond to relax, before he slammed back in, resuming the pace.   
  
Aziraphale felt his orgasm building “Crowley- I can’t again- I can’t-” He nearly sobbed as the other man grabbed his cock.   
  
“You can and you will. You’ll come for me.” He jerked his hand a few more times and the blond was spilling onto the bedsheets and clenching around the other man’s cock as he groaned and thrusted, riding out his own orgasm.   
  
Crowley pulled out of him with a hiss and the two of them plopped down on the bed, avoiding the wet spot, and their heaving breaths were the only sounds filling the room until Aziraphale giggled “I didn’t know I could do that twice.”   
  
The redhead snorted “I have a feeling you could go more than twice. You’re young and healthy.”   
  
Aziraphale rolled on his side, facing Crowley “You’re so much nicer to me during and after sex.”   
  
The other man’s mouth twitched in the corner “Like I said, you turn me on.”   
  
“Spanking, that was new.” He smirked, poking the man in his side.   
  
“I’ve been wanting to spank you since you poked my nose. I hated it.” The redhead grumbled.   
  
“Awe, I’m sorry.” Aziraphale mock pouted “I didn’t mean to hurt your delicate feelings.”   
  
“You’re a menace.” Crowley stood up and moved to the guest bathroom before walking out with a warm cloth “Let’s get you cleaned up.”   
  
Aziraphale sat up and accidentally put his hand in the wet spot. He grimaced “My bed’s all dirty.”

“Then don’t have sex on it.” Crowley quipped, wiping Aziraphale’s hand with the cloth before wiping his chest and around his hole, causing the blond to hiss. At Crowley’s questioning look he smiled “No, I’m not hurt, just thoroughly used I’m afraid.”   
  
“I’ll grab you some extra bedding. I’ll be right back.”   
  
Crowley left the room before coming back in with the spare bedding and helped the blond make the bed. He took the old bedding to the laundry room and returned, standing in the doorway awkwardly “Well uh, goodnight. That was um, fun.”   
  
“Goodnight.” He murmured, burrowing down into the covers, his eyes already slipping shut. Crowley moved to grab his glasses from the nightstand just as the blond’s eyes got too heavy to hold open any longer. It probably was a draft in the room but Aziraphale could’ve sworn he felt a stray curl be brushed away from his forehead. The touch was so light it was gone as soon as it came. It had to have been a dream. Crowley wouldn’t touch him affectionately. He had to draw that line between lust and affection. The redhead didn’t care about him, he said so himself.

‘But he stopped when I asked him to’ was his last thought before drifting to sleep.   
  
  


Aziraphale entered the kitchen to find Crowley cooking breakfast. They shared a long, painfully awkward look before Crowley cleared his throat “Coffee’s in the pot. I’m almost done cooking.”   
  


The blond silently made himself a cup and had just taken his first sip when the door opened and Newt walked in, carrying a book “I come, bearing a gift for the bored prince that’s found himself stuck in a tower with a grumpy dragon guarding him.”    
  
The threw his head back with a laugh as Crowley shot Newt a dirty look. He didn’t notice the way Newt’s eyes zeroed in on the dark mark on the side of his neck. Newt shot Crowley a confused look that the redhead pointedly pretended not to notice as he turned back to the stove.

“Really, Newt. I’m not stuck. I could leave if I wanted to. I’d be putting my life in danger but-”   
  
“I wouldn’t recommend leaving.” Crowley interrupted, handing him his plate “I put jam on your toast.”   
  
Aziraphale blushed “Oh thank you.”   
  
Newt smirked as he took a seat “I see the two of you are getting along. Did something happen?”   
  
“No!” They both said in unison. Newt raised his eyebrows, unconvinced “Alright, guys. I have to help my mom with some errands so I was just stopping by to drop off a book for Zira while he’s bored.”   
  
Crowley frowned “I’ll be at work all day.”   
  
Aziraphale huffed “I am a grown man. I can sit alone for a day.”

“Alright but you are not to leave this apartment under any circumstances,” Crowley warned.   
  
Aziraphale flicked his hand “Don’t worry I usually just use my free time to-” He broke off, realizing “My homework!” He cried, mostly to himself “My classes! Oh goodness, this is terrible.”

Crowley stiffened before drinking his coffee, trying to appear nonchalant “That’s not a priority-”   
  
“Yes, it is! I have dreams! A future! I need to graduate and make my mom proud!”   
  
“Your mom wouldn’t know and college doesn’t matter. Hell, I’ll pay you just to stay home.” The man muttered, not looking at him.   
  
Aziraphale stood up from the table “You’re a real piece of work.” He strode from the room and into the guest room, slamming the door. Crowley didn’t follow this time.   
  
In the kitchen, Newt stood to leave “That was fucked up, even for you. Apologize to him

Crowley didn’t look at him and Newt slammed his fist down onto the counter, startling the redhead “You can’t fuck him and then talk to him like that.”   
  
“I couldn’t call off the hit.” Crowley said, running a trembling hand through his hair “I had to do something he’d never forgive me for. If it takes being cruel to get him to stay in that room then that’s what I have to do.”   
  
Newt paled “What?”   
  


Aziraphale waited for Crowley to follow and this time he didn’t. Good riddance. He plopped on the bed and waited to hear Crowley leave. The time came around an hour later. He heard footsteps outside the guest room door and then there was a silence like Crowley was standing outside the door, debating something. Eventually, the footsteps retreated and the front door closed. Aziraphale waited an extra half hour just to be sure.

He decided he didn’t care what that prick thought and he was going to graduate college despite this whole hiccup where someone accidentally put a hit on him. It had to be an accident, hadn’t it? He took a few calming breaths and decided to just be extra sneaky and go get his things. He looked different enough now to not be recognized at first glance. He could slip into his apartment, get his stuff, and then come back to Crowley’s flat to work on his assignments “Easy peasy lemon squeezy! He muttered to himself, delighted, as he got up to leave “Besides, the walk should do me some good.”   
  
He got to his apartment in one piece and was just unlocking his door when Paul stuck his head out. The man faltered for a moment, pale “Aziraphale?”   
  
“Yes! I’m sorry if I worried you! I was just gone to a friend’s house-”   
  
“You’re dead.” The man began sobbing and lurched forward to hug him “It was all over the news! They found your suicide note!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. lol
> 
> Btw this is where the plot will start picking up so I hope you’re ready lol
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are not only welcomed but appreciated! Seeing everyone’s comments makes my day! 💕💕💕


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy! <3

Crowley had been a complete arse. He knew that. Aziraphale deserved better than that treatment, especially considering their activities the night before, which presented another problem.  
  
Anthony Crowley had a few rules in his life that he went by, strictly, and he never broke those self-given rules under any circumstance.   
  
1\. Don’t have sex with the same person more than once.

  1. Don’t let anyone but Newt into the Mayfair flat.
  2. Don’t form attachments.  
  
Then he met Aziraphale and the blond had managed to get under his skin, break the rules he’d given himself. It was disconcerting. He didn’t know what to do at this point, and for his line of work that’s a dangerous thing. 



Crowley had tried to call off the hit on the blond, convince his bosses it wasn’t worth the money, to no avail. He knew if he pressed further he’d be under suspicion and make the overall situation that much more dangerous so he had faked Aziraphale’s death, something the blond would surely be pissed about and the redhead was dreading that conversation.   
  
He was currently in between jobs so his ‘work’ that day was getting Aziraphale’s things organized and into storage for later use. Aziraphale would probably want to clutter up the Mayfair flat like his own apartment but Crowley knew he had to put his foot down, too many belongings made leaving in a hurry next to impossible. Better to keep anything truly important in storage.

After consulting with the movers, pretending to be Aziraphale’s long-term boyfriend, they agreed to meet him at Aziraphale’s Soho apartment later that day. That gave him time to go discuss everything with the blond and, hopefully, apologize for his rudeness that morning. They were just beginning to get along, too.   
  
He stopped by a bakery and bought Aziraphale some assorted pastries. Walking out, he noticed an antique stopwatch in a thrift shop window that the blond would love so he purchased that as well, even had it gift wrapped. Satisfied, he headed home.   
  
“Aziraphale?” He knocked at the guest room door “I um- Can we talk? I bought you some food… and a present.”   
  
He was met with silence.   
  
“Angel?” He tried, twisting the knob and opening the door “I’m-”   
  
He stopped, Aziraphale wasn’t there. Staying calm, he knocked on the guest bathroom door. No answer. He walked into the kitchen and dropped the pastries and gift box on the counter, and called out “Aziraphale?” No answer.   
  
Aziraphale was gone. Crowley groaned, having an idea where the blond had went. Cursing, he rushed out the door.   
  


Aziraphale sat in his tiny apartment living room with Paul and Sammy, both of whom had calmed down somewhat, though they were confused about the situation. Aziraphale had explained as much as he could without giving too much away. He had just stood up and told the older men “I suppose I should pack my things-” when the door burst open and Crowley stood there, staring at the two older men in the room with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he glanced at Aziraphale.  
  
The blond glowered at him “You have some nerve.” He didn’t yell but the frostiness in his voice was somehow worse.   
  
Paul and Sammy looked between the two of them before Paul spoke up “Sweetie, do you need us to call the police?”   
  
“No, he’s not dangerous and the police could hardly stop him if he chose to be. He’s just an insensitive prick that doesn’t care about the feelings of others.” Aziraphale turned from Crowley and his face contorted into a friendly smile “May I speak to him alone, please? I’ll say goodbye when I’m on my way out.”   
  
The men seemed satisfied with that and hugged the blond goodbye before leaving, sending Crowley equally sharp looks on the way out.   
  
“Look, angel-”   
  
“You know, I am a fucking adult, whether or not you want to acknowledge that. I can handle hard news. You could have fucking told me instead of vaguely telling me I needed to stay in your flat!”   
  
“I knew you’d overreact-”   
  
The blonde laughed bitterly “Overreact? If anything I’m underreacting. I think the proper response to this would be to be more severe. You faked my death!”   
  
“Aziraphale-” The redhead tried, stepping forward.   
  
The shorter man stepped back and held his hand out “Stay the hell away from me and let me speak. You can’t just do what you want with no regard to how I feel about it. You can’t destroy my future and expect me not to be angry with you. Did you do this yesterday before we slept together?”   
  
The other man’s silence was answer enough. The blond laughed again, a manic sound “To think, I thought for one second that we could get along, possibly even be friends. Then the next morning you decide to point out that my dead mother wouldn’t know whether or not I graduate college.”   
  
“I know I was out of line-” Crowley tried again.   
  
“Stop fucking talking! All you do is talk over me, just fucking stop!” Aziraphale shouted “My life has been nothing but awful since I met you and now it’s over! I’d rather be dead than be trapped in your cold and empty apartment with only you for company. I’d rather be here, alone, than live with someone who doesn’t give a single fuck about me!”   
  
“I do give a fuck, Azirphale!’ The redhead shouted back “Do you think I’d risk my job if I didn’t!?”   
  
“You have a funny way of showing it! All you ever do is boss me around then fuck me!” He shot back. Turning to walk into the bedroom “Please leave.”   
  
“No. You’re not safe here.” He followed after the blond and Aziraphale whirled on him.   
  
“No, I’m not safe with you! Obviously you have some ulterior motive for keeping me alive and I don’t trust you any more than I’d trust anyone else right now!”   
  
“Will you trust Newt?” Crowley asked, pulling out his phone and pressing call before handing the phone to Aziraphale “Here, talk to him if you don’t want to talk to me. I’ll be in the living room, packing your things for storage.”   
  
Aziraphale said nothing as he walked into his bedroom, closing the door behind him just as Newt answered “Crowley if you haven’t apologized don’t bother-”   
  
“It’s me.” Aziraphale answered, sniffling “I came home and- he faked my death, wrote a fake suicide note and everything. Now we’re arguing.”   
  
Newt sighed “I’m sorry you found out that way, Zira. He told me this morning but promised he’d tell you. I don’t think even he wanted you to find out that way.”   
  
“He should’ve told me. I don’t know what to do or if I can trust him. I don’t understand how you deal with it.”   
  
“Years of practice. I wouldn’t say he’s completely trustworthy because his career doesn’t allow that but what I can say is that he wouldn’t put you in harm’s way. He may hurt your feelings and be an insensitive jackass but he’d never intentionally harm you.”   
  
“What should I do?” He asked, feeling lost.   
  
“I can’t answer that. That’s a decision you have to make for yourself. Just know that whatever he’s doing to keep you alive is probably the best option. He doesn’t take chances on people’s lives.” 

  
Half an hour later, Aziraphale left the bedroom and handed the phone back to Crowley, who didn’t look at him. Several boxes were packed and labeled in a neat stack and the redhead was currently boxing some books. Aziraphale grabbed a box and moved to help. The worked in silence until the packing was complete, neither saying a word even as the movers came and began loading the boxes into the truck.   
  
The silence on the way back to Mayfair was suffocating and Crowley drove carefully for once, apparently too distracted to drive at his usual breakneck speed.   
  
They entered the flat and while walking past the kitchen, Aziraphale noticed a paper bag and a gift box on the counter “What’s this?”   
  
Crowley still didn’t look at him as he toed off his shoes at the door before closing it and locking it behind him “They’re for you. I was going to apologize for what I said earlier.” His tone was quiet and subdued.   
  
“I believe I told you money doesn’t matter to me.” He stated coldly “You can’t just buy me things and expect that to constitute an apology.”   
  
“I’m sorry!” Crowley shouted, finally snapping “I’m sorry that someone wanted to kill you. I’m sorry that my apartment doesn’t make you happy. I’m sorry that I don’t know how to bloody talk to you. I’m not Newt! I don’t do this.”   
  
“Do what?” Aziraphale asked, touching the gift box gingerly, his voice low. He realized then, how to fix all of this.   
  
Crowley gestured vaguely “I’ve broken every rule I set for myself. Every single one. I don’t know what it is about you that makes me trust you but I do. I know I fucked up and I understand if you don’t forgive me for it but we have to trust each other or we’re both going to die.”   
  
Aziraphale straightened before sniffing delicately, forming a plan of action “Your apology has been noted but not yet accepted. Forgiveness will come on the condition that you teach me how to be you.”   
  
“Be me?” Crowley asked, confused.   
  
The blond made a boxing motion with his fists, widening his eyes innocently “I mean, you should teach me to do your job. I don’t want to be stuck here every day.”   
  
Crowley slumped “Angel, don’t ask me to teach you this life. Maybe you can help Newt-”   
  
“No, I want to help you! You said you trust me so trust me to make my own decisions.” He pleaded, knowing the man would cave.   
  
The redhead nodded reluctantly “Fine, I’ll teach you the basics. Newt is already working on a new identity for you but I will make him add in some aliases for you to use as well. In the meantime, you can start with self-defense.”   
  
Crowley motioned for him to stay in place while he entered his bedroom and came out with some black leggings and a black tank top “Change into this so we don’t mess up your clothes.” He then disappeared back into his room, presumably to change into exercise clothing as well.

Newt came over a few minutes later and helped them move future out the way in the living room to clear space for a gym mat. He then opted to pop himself some popcorn and sit on the couch, watching them with an amused expression “Kick his arse, Zira!”

The blond, who had relaxed in the presence of the brunet man, laughed lightly “I’m tempted to.”  
  
“Stop letting Newt distract you.” Crowley cut in “I want you to just stand like you’re about to fight someone. We’ll start from there.”

Azirphale made fists and imitated how he’d seen boxers in bad movies stand. Newt burst out laughing and Crowley clucked his tongue, moving closer “Am I allowed to touch you, just for training?”  
  
“You may.” the blond whispered, shocked at the question. Crowley seemed to take consent extremely seriously. 

The taller man adjusted his poise “You’re small and harmless-looking. Use that to your advantage. In my line of work, we fight dirty. It may make the difference in whether or not you get out alive. Honor is useless if it gets you killed.”

He then walked him through some motions on how to counter an attacker, depending on general size, height, and type of attack.   
  
“I think we can call it a night.” Crowley said after Aziraphale had memorized the majority of the maneuvers “Tomorrow we can work on more aggressive approaches.”

Newt stood up to leave, looking disappointedly at his popcorn before mock pouting at Aziraphale “I wanted to see you beat him up.”  
  
Aziraphale laughed, walking him to the door “I’ll get him next time.”   
  
After Newt left, the apartment was silent again save for Crowley moving the furniture back into place. Aziraphale walked into the kitchen and prepared two cups of tea and plucked the bag of pastries off the counter before loading them onto a tray and walking into the living room “I brought us something to refresh us after all that exercise.”   
  
Crowley, who had clearly barely broken a sweat, nodded and sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Aziraphale.   
  
“You know, I’m not going to yell at you anymore. You’re allowed to talk to me and to touch me.” Aziraphale pointed out.   
  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” The redhead muttered, frowning “But uh, thank you for making me tea. I hope you like the pastries.”   
  
“Well thank you for buying them for me. I meant what I said about buying me things not constituting as an apology but your heart was in the right place so that has to count for something.”   
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes.   
  
“I’m sorry.” Crowley broke the silence.   
  
“You said that earlier.” The blond pointed out, grabbing the tv remote to turn it on “I believe the condition of forgiveness is that you teach me how to do your job.”   
  
“No, not for that. I’m sorry that all I do is be rude to you and then sleep with you. It isn’t right.”   
  
“Yes, its quite definitely not.” The blond scoffed “I’m in the mood for Golden Girls, my mother and I loved that show. Is that alright with you.”   
  
Crowley looked taken back “Uh, yeah. Golden Girls is alright, I guess.”   
  
Aziraphale pulled it up and smirked when he saw that every episode had previously been watched “It’s ‘alright?’”

“Fine, it’s my favorite show.” Crowley admitted, looking embarrassed. Aziraphale snickered as he pulled up the first episode.

“As I was saying before, dear, its definitely not alright to be rude to me and then sleep with me.” Aziraphale directed the conversation back to the original topic.  
  
Crowley’s shoulders slumped slightly “I know and I’m-”   
  
“The solution to that is simple. Don’t be rude to me. Well, I suppose a little rudeness is fine but only as rude as you are with Newt. I can accept that. You seem grumpy by nature.”   
  
The redhead took his glasses off to gape at him “You’d still sleep with me after all that?”   
  
“Well I’m quite literally stuck here, for the time being, you’re attractive and we have good sex so I don’t see why not. I’m still angry with you, mind you, but I don’t think it’s best to dwell on what I can’t change. Besides, you respect me in the bedroom at least.”   
  
They were quiet for a few moments, watching the show before Aziraphale added “Not tonight though, I need time.”   
  
“Of course, just um- let me know. I won’t initiate anything.” Crowley mumbled, apparently still feeling guilty.

“I’d also like you to know if you ever do anything to betray my trust again, I’ll take my chances elsewhere. You want me to trust you, be worthy of that trust.”  
  
Crowley locked eyes with him, seemingly determined “I will.”

Aziraphale held out his hand “I won’t call us friends but seeing as how we’re stuck together for a while, associates?”  
  
Crowley took his hand “Associates.”   
  
  
The next few months were spent with daily training. Crowley taught him to fight like a trained agent, how to walk to know if he’s being followed, even things Aziraphale never imagined would be involved with the job.   
  
“I think its time you learn to pickpocket.” Crowley began.   
  
“Oh, that’s easy.” Aziraphale smiled brightly.   
  
Newt and Crowley blinked at him. Newt spoke, “Um how is that easy?”   
  
“I’m a magician!” Aziraphale answered excitedly, wiggling his hands “I just need to get back into practice.”   
  
Crowley groaned “Oh no, please no coin tricks!”   
  
“Yes, coin tricks. I also know card tricks! Sleight of hand is my forte.” He answered proudly.   
  
“We’re not relying on that.” Crowley answered.   
  
Aziraphale whined, running his hands up Crowley’s hips and chest before wrapping his arms around the taller man’s shoulders “Why not?”   
  
“Because being an amateur magician is no different than-” He cut off as Aziraphale pulled his wallet from behind his ear with a whooshing noise.   
  
Crowley rolled his eyes “You-”   
  
“I found it behind your ear.” Aziraphale answered innocently.   
  
“It was never anywhere near my ear! How did you do that!?” Crowley looked a mixture of annoyed and impressed.   
  
“I told you! I’m a magician!” Azirphale pouted innocently.

Newt burst out laughing “Aj, just admit he’s a natural talent and go. You’re being too hard on him.”  
  
“I’d rather be hard on him than take him on a job and he get killed because he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”   
  
Aziraphale rolled his eyes “I got self-defense down-pat!”   
  
“No, you don’t.”   
  
“Try me then.” Aziraphale answered, dropping the pretense he’d kept up the past few months and tossing the other man his wallet.   
  
They set up the training mats and Newt got his usual popcorn “You got this, babe!”   
  
Aziraphale blew him a dramatic kiss that the other man jokingly caught.   
  
“Wake up, Aziraphale.” Crowley grumbled, taking position “I won’t go easy on you.”   
  
Aziraphale batted his eyes “Wouldn’t dream otherwise.”   
  
Crowley lunged and Azirphale deftly ducked underneath his outstretched hands and shot forward to punch him in his windpipe before kicking his feet out from under him. Crowley gasped for air as Aziraphale sat on his chest “I thought you weren’t going easy on me?”   
  
Newt burst out laughing. Crowley rolled so he was on top of the blond and attempted to pin him but Aziraphale hooked his legs around Crowley’s neck, grabbed his arm, and rolled. He held until the other man tapped out.   
  
Aziraphale rolled off “Really, dear, don’t go easy on me.”   
  
“You’re a cheeky bastard. I didn’t teach you that.” Crowley shot back, gasping.   
  
“I took self-defense with my mom when she and I first moved out. I was in gymnastics until I was fourteen, as well, and I’ve been doing stretches in my bedroom while you’re away or asleep. I do believe I can figure out how to imitate a wrestling move.”   
  
“Then why did you ask me-”   
  
“You were underestimating me. You aren’t now. Besides, I wanted to see if what you taught me would combine well with my self-defense classes.” Aziraphale answered simply as Crowley helped him to his feet “Let me go on jobs with you.”

Crowley gaped at him “We talked about trust-”  
  
“Yes and you said you trusted me, I didn’t say I trusted you. You can’t possibly expect me to trust you with every detail of my life.”

“We’re having another round and this time I really won’t go easy on you.” Crowley said.  
  
They got into position and Crowley lunged at him again, grabbing Aziraphale’s arm before he could deflect and twisting it. Aziraphale used Crowley’s grip as a counter weight to swing his body to knee the other man in the ribs as hard as he could, causing him to stumble and let go. He tried to kick Crowley again and the man caught him by the leg, Aziraphale once again used him as a counterweight for a roundhouse kick this time. Crowley loosened his grip and Azirphale hit the floor and rolled but was pinned down.   
  
They wrestled on the mat for a few more minutes before Crowley finally pinned him down, breathing heavily “I got you!”   
  
Aziraphale wrapped his legs around his waist and rolled them so he was on top “I beg to differ, dear boy.”   
  
They just stared at each other panting, pupils blown wide and cheeks flushed. Newt nervously put his popcorn down “I uh- see where this is going. Don’t mind me, I’ll just uh- be going. Yep. Bye.”   
  
They ignored him as Aziraphale leaned in and kissed Crowley. The other man made a noise like a starving man and rolled them over, deepening the kiss. He pulled back “Do you have any idea how incredibly hot it was that you tried to out-spy me?”   
  
Aziraphale wiggled his hips against the other man’s growing bulge “I have an idea.”

The other man leaned in for another kiss and the blond pressed his fingers to his lips “Not yet. I’m still not ready.”  
  
Crowley sighed but stood up “Crepes?”

“Crepes.” Aziraphale answered firmly.

The redhead nodded and left to go take a shower and Aziraphale stayed in the training room, waiting to hear the shower.  
  
He went to his room and pulled an unmarked journal out from between his mattresses, adding to his notes, all written in a code only he could understand.   
  
Aziraphale smirked to himself. No one was going to play him for a sucker ever again. Not Crowley. Not anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're thinking "I feel like Aziraphale is angrier than he's letting on." 
> 
> You're correct. 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are VERY appreciated and absolutely give me life! <3


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby's first recon mission :')

“So your primary alias is going to be Ezra Pulsifer, here’s your information, memorize it. You’ll also need to change your accent a bit. Your accent is incredibly Welsh when we need it to be more- ‘southern pansy’ if you get me?” Newt handed him a file as he spoke, barely taking his eyes off his laptop.   
  
Aziraphale laughed “I ‘get you.’”

Crowley entered the room then “I hope you do, we have a job tonight.” He held out three clothing bags “Don’t kill me, you’re posing as my femme husband.”   
  
“How femme?” Aziraphale glanced into the bag then blushed “Oh, that’s rather- I couldn’t wear that.”   
  
“Alright, then you won’t be attending. You need to look as little like you as possible on short notice. We’re attending a high-end art gala. I’ll let you guess who would be there.”   
  
Aziraphale took the bag “My father, my ex, and his new girlfriend?”   
  
“Clever. We need to get close enough to your father and to your ex to plant a bug. In order to do so, they absolutely can’t recognize you. Your voice, mannerisms, choice of clothing, everything, has to be different.”   
  
He headed to his room to change, a flutter of nerves. He’d worn women’s clothing before but not a dress. He’d always wanted to but he assumed it wouldn’t flatter him much. The dress was a floor-length, shimmering thing with sheer cutouts along his sides and upper thighs and a dangerously high reaching slit up the front. It was solid black and rather modern and stylish, way out of his comfort zone. He supposed that was the point. He blushed when he realized he couldn’t wear boxers with the dress and then his blush deepened when he realized the third bag held a black lacy men’s panty set.    
  
After he slipped on the dress and the matching heels with red soles Crowley had bought him, Newt helped him with his makeup and to style his hair. Afterward, he looked in the mirror and saw a complete stranger looking back at him “Newt, you are amazing at this.”   
  
“Don’t flatter me.” Newt poked his side with a smirk “Now let’s see if Aj remembers how to use his brain when he sees this.”   


  
Aziraphale left the room to find Crowley sitting on the couch in the living room, wearing a suit and tie, his hair combed back and… brown? He also wore a pair of black-rimmed glasses and had let his stubble grow in, rather than shaving that day. Aziraphale also noted he’d covered his tattoo. He looked different, and still achingly attractive.   
  
Crowley stood up as he walked in, his lips quirking at the blond’s wobbling in unfamiliar heels “You’ll have to get used to the heels. Balance your weight on your toes and don’t be afraid to swing your hips when you walk. If you’re too stiff it won’t look natural.”

“Easier said than done.” He laughed, nearly stumbling into Crowley.   
  
Crowley held him steady and gave him a demonstration on how to walk properly before encouraging Aziraphale to walk a few laps around the apartment until he grew used to the heels. He approached Crowley and motioned from himself to the other man “I’m as tall as you right now!”   
  
“Yes, you are.” Crowley grabbed his wallet and keys before turning back to him “You look great, by the way.”   
  
They were almost to the venue when Crowley broke the silence in the car “We’re Antony and Ezra Cowwley tonight. We’ve been married for three years and we met at a bar in Soho.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box before tossing it to the blond “I believe we can ad-lib the rest considering we’ll be at each other’s sides the whole night. Consider this practice for thinking up a story on the spot. Why would the two of us be at an art gala?”   
  
“You’re an art enthusiast and I tagged along for the food, dear.” He giggled playfully, batting his eyes, and making sure to use a southern English accent.   
  
Crowley smirked “And why would we need to talk to Zekiel Fell, an aristocrat, and member of the church? He’s a known homophobe.”   
  
“Perhaps I heard about his work with one of our mutual charities and I’d like to address it with him.”   
  
“What business do we have with a West End actor, Raph Elliot?”   
  
“My dear, our first official date we watched Hamlet and absolutely adored his work.” He pretended to be confused “As if we could pass up speaking to Hamlet, himself.”

“You’re good at this.” Crowley winked “Did you like the lingerie I bought you?”   
  
Oh, not acting now.

“I did.” He answered honestly, grabbing Crowley’s hand and sliding it along the smooth skin of his inner thigh “Why? Did you hope to see me in it?”   
  
“Not if you don’t want to. I just like the thought of you wearing it.”   
  
  
They pulled up and Crowley tossed the keys to the Bentley to the valet and placed his hand protectively on Aziraphale’s lower back as they entered the building.

Aziraphale expected them to set to work immediately but instead, Crowley led the both of them around to observe the different artwork, even socialized with a few random guests.   
  
The blond touched Crowley’s arm lightly “I see they’re serving champagne.”   
  
“Would you like some?” Crowley asked. At the blond’s nod, he moved to get it.   
  
Aziraphale stood by himself, pretending to observe the art when a familiar voice came from his right “What’s a lovely thing like you, doing all alone?” Raph.   
  
The blond turned to him, smiling fakely- carefully different from his actual smile- and ready about to put his skills to the test “Oh, just-”   
  
“Your champagne, sweetheart.” Crowley cut in, passing him a glass and giving him a sound kiss on the lips before turning to Raph, his arm curling around Aziraphale’s waist “Oh, are you Raph Elliot, by chance?”   
  
Raph looked between the two of them, his eyes clearly flicking to the matching gold bands on their fingers “Uh, yes. That’s me.”   
  
Aziraphale giggled, pulling his fake husband’s arm in excitement “Oh, darling! This is so exciting. Remember our first date?”   
  
Crowley turned to the actor “Our first date was to see Hamlet and my Ezra absolutely adored your work.”   
  
The actor grinned then, turning to Ezra “Would you perhaps mind taking a walk with me? I could even give you an autograph.”    
  
Aziraphale felt as if a piece of lead had dropped in his stomach, his ex-fiance was flirting with him, a presumably married man, right in front of his husband while the actor himself had a girlfriend and Aziraphale himself hadn’t been legally dead for three months yet.

Crowley answered for him “He’d love to. I was just on my way to speak to Mr. Fell, I haven’t seen him since last years Christmas charity ball and wanted to offer my condolences on the passing of his son.”   
  
Raph’s face morphed into grief, but Azirphale knew him well enough to know it was false “Yes, my Aziraphale. I don’t understand why he took his own life so young but at least he passed, knowing I loved him dearly.”

Aziraphale felt rage build until Crowley touched his back lightly, giving him a quick kiss “I’ll be back, sweetheart. Don’t drink too much champagne, I want you sober for later.” He gave the blond a salacious wink before walking away. Azirphale got the message ‘Don’t get drunk. We’re on the job.’

Raph cleared his throat as they walked to a more secluded part of the gala “Your husband isn’t shy with his affections.”   
  
“Oh, yes. He’s been nothing but good to me since we began dating.” He smiled sweetly “What about you? Anyone special in your life?”   
  
“Oh yes, I have a girlfriend. She and I were both close with my ex-fiance and we grew closer after his untimely passing.”

Aziraphale knew that was bullshit but he frowned in mock sympathy “Oh, I’m sorry to hear of your loss but at least you found happiness.” He ran his hands up Raph’s arm and splayed his hand on his chest, stepping closer “She’s a lucky woman.”   
  
Raph moved to kiss him but Azirphale stepped back, giggling flirtatiously “I have a husband, sir.”   
  
“That doesn’t matter. Look, we can-”   
  
Crowley showed up then, kissing Aziraphale’s forehead “I apologize, something came up and I need to borrow my husband. Excuse us.”

They walked away, into a deserted hallway “Is something wrong?”   
  
“No, nothing’s wrong.” Crowley said easily, trying a door to see if it was unlocked. It swung open to reveal a dark office and Crowley grinned, pulling him into the room.

They faced each other in the dark for a moment before Crowley ran his hand up Aziraphale’s neck, up toward his cheek “I saw him try to kiss you.”   
  
“What we’re doing here is more important.” Aziraphale said, tilting his head into Crowley’s hand with a sigh. He sat his champagne on the far corner of the desk and turned back to the other man to find he'd removed his glasses. They caught eyes for a moment.   
  
Aziraphale didn’t know which one of them moved first but they were kissing and then he found himself sat on the desk, his legs around Crowley’s hips. Crowley pulled back “I’ve been going mad all night, seeing you dressed like this.”   
  
The blonde grabbed the other man’s hands and guided them along creamy hips, all the way up to the lacy fabric of his panties “Seeing me like what, dear? I dress like this for you all the time.”

Crowley kissed him deeply, pulling the panties down slowly “Is this alright?”   
  
“Here?” The blond laughed “You can’t wait until later?”   
  
“No, I can’t.” He answered seriously “We can be quick.”   
  
Aziraphale allowed Crowley to removed the panties and push up his dress as the other man spoke “We can’t fuck properly right now but I wanted to at least suck you off.”   
  
He knelt between the blond’s legs and took his cock into his mouth, causing the blond to cry out and buck into his mouth “Antony!”   
  
Crowley pulled off to smirk at him “You’re such a good boy.” He opened his wallet and pulled out a small packet of lube “Spread your legs for me, sweetheart.”   
  
He took Aziraphale back into his mouth at the same time he pushed one digit into the blond, causing him to whine and buck against the intrusion. Crowley’s lips curled into a smirk around his cock as he hooked his finger, brushing it roughly against the blond’s prostate “Antony! Antony!”   
  
Crowley pulled off, kissing his thigh “You’ll have to be quiet, okay? I can’t take care of you if you get too loud.”   
  
Aziraphale dutifully stayed quiet as Crowley bobbed his head and moved his fingers inside him, working him to completion before swallowing him down.

He pulled back and adjusted himself in his pants before gently helping Aziraphale back into his panties. He gave the blond a once over “Your makeup isn’t even smudged. We’ll have to see which lipstick you used because it’s incredible.”   
  
The blond laughed, relaxed, kissing him again and tasting himself on the redhead’s tongue “Why do I feel like this is one of your more possessive escapades, darling?”   
  
Crowley leaned forward, his lips brushing Aziraphale’s ear “He isn’t allowed to touch you. Am I understood?”   
  
“Antony, darling, don’t be like that. It was purely business.” He raised his eyebrows and pulled Crowley’s hand to the secret pocket in his dress where he had carried the bug, revealing it to be empty.   
  
Crowley smirked and kissed him again.

They left the office holding hands and nearly ran into a blond woman on the way out. Aziraphale paused and the woman did too “Do I know you?”   
  
The blond gave his ex-best friend a coy smile “No, you don’t, however, your actor boyfriend wanted to know me... in the biblical sense. Of course, I have a husband whom I love dearly so I declined. I just thought I'd warn you.”   
  
He walked away, ignoring the woman’s expression of mixed shock and anger. Crowley winked at the woman before trailing after him, hooking an arm around his waist “You’re a real bastard.” He sounded proud.

  
  


“So were you able to plant a bug on my father?” Aziraphale asked on the way back to the Mayfair flat.   
  
Crowley nodded, frowning “Yeah.”   
  
“What did you think of him?”   
  
“He’s a real wanker. He’d seen us together earlier and felt the need to tell me that he would only talk to me because I’m the ‘man’ in our relationship. We’re both men. That’s the whole point.”   
  
Aziraphale laughed “Oh, no. Did he say that? The same man that wouldn’t let me take ballet lessons? He would never.”   
  
“I see why you dislike him. Either way, they’re both properly bugged and we can figure out if one of the two of them are the reason for the hit on you.”

“Yes, I suppose we can.” He murmured, looking out the window to watch the lights of London flashing by.   
  
Crowley seemed to be intent on helping him but he hardly knew what his future would hold if he stayed here. Would he have to be looking over his shoulder his whole life, afraid to make attachments like Crowley was?

The other man broke him out of his thoughts “You did a good job tonight. You stayed in character and you didn’t break it. You successfully planted the bug and the night was a general success thanks to you. You’re… you’re something else, angel.”   
  
Aziraphale beamed at the praise, thinking back to his coded journal. He definitely had more to add after tonight. He was determined to regain control of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale's dress: https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/tom-ford-sequined-cutout-illusion-evening-gown-prod226940441?childItemId=NMB5DKP_&navpath=cat000000_cat000001_cat58290731_cat43810733&page=0&position=22
> 
> Aziraphale's shoes: http://us.christianlouboutin.com/us_en/shop/women/maia-labella-1.html
> 
> Crowley's suit jacket: https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/tom-ford-mens-shelton-snake-print-velvet-formal-jacket-prod217140501?childItemId=NMN5WD5_&navpath=cat000000_cat000470_cat14120827_cat48770732&page=0&position=16
> 
> Crowley's shirt: https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/stefano-ricci-mens-crystal-tipped-silk-formal-shirt-prod224420588?childItemId=NMN6J98_&navpath=cat000000_cat000470_cat14120827_cat21130735&page=0&position=0


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter had a title, it would be "I wish you would find your chill." - A memoir by Crowley about Aziraphale

“So I was thinking we could check out this new Thai place that opened up? It’s high-end, low lighting. Romantic.” Crowley’s voice crackled over the comms in Aziraphale’s ear.  
  
The blond shimmied his way out of the vent and into the office, landing quietly “Is this really the time to ask me on a date?”   
  
There was a pause “No. Um- It’s not a date. I was even thinking we could bring Lizard.” ‘Lizard’ was Newt’s codename to avoid being compromised while on comms. Aziraphale’s was ‘Angel’ (Crowley’s idea) and Crowley’s was ‘Serpent’ (also Crowley’s idea).   
  
Aziraphale rolled his eyes at the blatant lie “Fine, we’ll bring Lizard.” He sat down at the desk and pushed the memory stick into the computer “Speaking of, I’m ready for you to walk me through this, my dear.”

Newt’s comms turned on and he was chuckling to himself “Do you have the memory stick in?” He proceeded to walk Aziraphale through each code needed to hack into the computer and download what they needed.  
  
The handle jiggled just as the download was complete and Aziraphale was already back in the vent with the grate closed by the time the door opened.   
  
  
Aziraphale stepped out of the bathroom, adjusting his tie “Hello, my love, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long?”   
  
Crowley circled his arm around his waist and kissed his temple “Not at all.”

The blond flirtatiously ran his hand along his pretend husband’s side and just like that, the pass was complete.  
  
They flitted around the party after that, socializing and interacting with the other party guests. The ride home was filled with plans for the new Thai place, Newt included. Aziraphale was still keeping Crowley at arm’s length. It wouldn’t do well for his plans if either of them got attached.   
  
When they got home, Crowley went to take his nightly shower and Aziraphale added more to his notebook. He just had a few more things to learn before he was ready.

  


The next morning, Aziraphale wandered out of his room to find Newt sitting in the living room, headphones on. He’d been tasked with observing Aziraphale’s father and ex but so far, they hadn’t had much luck. The blond sat next to his friend and poked his cheek, causing the bespectacled man to chuckle and remove his headset “Can I help you?”  
  
“How do you create and alias? I would like to know just in case something ever happened and I became separate from the two of you.”   
  
Newt’s face softened “We won’t let that happen.”   
  
“Please show me? If at least to ease my mind?”

  
“Crowley, will you teach me to shoot a gun?”   
  
“Is this one of those situations where I will try to teach you something and then we suddenly find out that you were a master marksman as a toddler?”   
  
“Don’t be ridiculous, Crowley.” He scoffed “My mother would never let a toddler touch a gun, much less shoot one.”   
  
“Fine, I’ll teach you at the firing range today since we’re between jobs.”

“Show me how you hold a gun.” Crowley instructed, placing noise-canceling headphones on the blond’s ears.

Aziraphale faced the target and held the gun sideways like he’d seen in some men in a mafia movie do. Crowley pulled his headphones off “No. Angel- No. You don’t hold a gun like that.”  
  
“Listen, I watched this movie and they turned it when they meant business. If I’m ever going to use a gun I’d have to mean business.”   
  
“You’re not going to be able to fire correctly like that, especially as a beginner.” The redhead chided, pulling the headphones back over his ears before standing behind him, moving his arms into place. Aziraphale shivered at Crowley placed his lips on the blond’s neck, mouthing the word he couldn’t hear into his neck “Fire.”

The first shot hit the target. Not a bullseye, but it was something. He jumped excitedly and the other man pulled his headphones off “Great start. Now, let’s work on your aim.”

  
  


When they got home, Crowley gifted him with a small pistol and a silencer attachment “I want you to only use this in emergencies. Leave that mess to me. This is for self-defense only, am I understood?”  
  
The blond smirked, placing the gun to the side, and pushed the other man lightly on the chest, causing him to sit on the couch. The blond straddled his lap, pushed his jacket off his shoulders, and began unbuttoning his shirt, leaning down to suck a mark onto his chest. The door opened and they sprang apart as Newt walked in.   
  
The brunet man’s steps faltered “Am I interrupting something?”   
  
“Nope!” They both said in unison. Azirphale pointed in the direction of his bedroom “I’m going to go shower, I feel gross from handling a gun all day. Dreadful things, really.” He picked up the gun Crowley had gifted him and moved to his room.   
  
He turned the shower on and grabbed his notebook, adding more notes, and realizing he had enough to go by. He firmly told himself to not get distracted again as he hid his notebook and got into the shower.

Later that night he tiptoed into the living room, carrying a small duffle bag. He fished in Crowley’s pocket for the Bentley’s keys before heading outside. He returned shortly empty-handed and put the keys back into Crowley’s pocket before going to bed.

  
“Our aliases are Alestier Dowling and Zachary Smith. You’ll be my sugar baby for the night. These men we’ll be interacting with are crime bosses so be on your guard at all times.” He passed the blond a few bags of clothing “I need to get some information out of Paul Grimes, the owner of the estate we’ll be visiting. He’ll be having a small party that is exclusive to other high profile criminals and their escorts. You are not to drink or eat anything they give you. You’re clever, I believe you can figure out how to trick them. You are to distract them by whatever means necessary while I get this information out of his office.”   
  
“Oh, I’m your dumb blond sex toy?”   
  
“For the sake of the story, yes. As for our own lives, hair color doesn’t determine intelligence… and you’re not dumb… or a sex toy. You’re quite clever, actually.” The redhead looked away, shifting awkwardly.   
  
“Oh, thank you.” He smiled “You haven’t seen anything yet.”   
  


Once again, Crowley had bought him a dress with matching shoes. The dress was white and had a thick feathery band around the top. It was rather cute and made him look like an angel, a slutty angel, but an angel nonetheless.

Newt helped him with his makeup “We’re going with a more innocent look this time rather than sexy. We want these men to underestimate you as much as possible. They’re suspicious by nature so this will be more difficult than usual.”  
  
He giggled “Oh, I have a plan for this that will make Crowley mad but he’ll get over it.”   
  
Newt laughed “I’m sure that’ll be a good story for teatime tomorrow.”   
  
Aziraphale suddenly leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek “Thank you for being my friend and looking out for me.”   
  
“Awe, don’t mention it.” The brunet cooed.   
  
  
The air was thick with cigar smoke and the smell of alcohol in the man-cave of the overly elaborate mansion. Crowley had a possessive arm around Aziraphale’s waist as they greeted the other men, some had escorts and some didn’t.   
  
A man approached them “Mr. Dowling! So glad you can join us.” He turned to Aziraphale “Who is this lovely thing on your arm?”   
  
“This is Zachary. Zachary, this is Mr. Grimes.”   
  
Paul Grimes grabbed Aziraphale’s hand and placed a suggestive kiss to his knuckles “Please, call me Paul.”   
  
They hung around the men for a few hours and Aziraphale noticed they had all became rather handsy with him. If Crowley noticed, he didn’t say anything. 

Eventually, the redhead leaned in close, his lips brushing the blond’s ear “Showtime, angel.”

Crowley stood “If you will excuse me, I have to take a quick trip to the men’s room. I trust my angel can keep sufficient company while I’m gone?”  
  
Paul laid a hand on Aziraphale’s inner thigh “I’m sure we’ll manage. Take your time.”   
  
After Crowley left, Aziraphale leaned forward flirtatiously “May I entertain?”   
  
The man’s hand traveled higher on his thigh “How so?”   
  
Aziraphale stood up, pretending to be tipsy “I know magic tricks!”

The men in the room exchanged looks before Paul Grimes chuckled heartily “By all means, show us your tricks, Angel.”  
  
“I can make my dress disappear.” He winked as his dress dropped to the floor and he stood in nothing but his shoes and a white lacy panty set. The men cheered as Aziraphale approached Paul Grimes to sit on his lap and bat his eyes “May I borrow a coin, sir? I know coin tricks too.”

The man reached in his pocket and held out a coin “Will this suffice?”  
  
“Yes, sir.” He worked the coin around his fingers and dropped it with a shy giggle “Oops! I guess I’m out of practice.”   
  
The man slid his hands along Aziraphale’s thighs as the blond tilted to pick the coin up. He didn’t see the blond’s fingers lightly brush the underside of the couch and plant a bug. Giggling again, he sat up and sloppily pulled the coin from behind his ear with a whooshing noise, causing the men in the room to laugh. Paul kissed his cheek before placing more kisses running down his neck. The blond pulled back with a teasing laugh “You’re not supposed to touch me without my daddy’s permission.”   
  
The man’s eyes narrowed, not used to being told ‘no.’ The blond sat on the edge of the pool table, his fingers planting bug number two “Don’t look like that. My daddy never said I couldn’t touch myself.” He pouted as Paul’s face lightened up.   
  
“Get the boy some lube.” He barked at another escort before turning back to the blond “I suppose this is part of the group entertainment?”   
  
The escort handed Aziraphale a small bottle of lube and the blond hopped up on the table, pulling his panties to the side “Of course, sir.”   
  
Aziraphale tried not to think about that there was a room full of men leering at him while he essentially masturbated in front of them. Maybe if he closed his eyes- No. No that was a bad idea. Lately, most of his fantasies had centered around a certain redhead that the blond absolutely refused to get attached to.   
  
As if summoned by the blond’s thoughts, the redhead entered the room and stopped short, staring at him. Aziraphale pulled three fingers out of himself and tucked the small bottle of lube into his boot before running over and launching himself at him “Daddy!”   
  
Crowley stiffened but touched his waist and buried his face into the blond’s neck to murmur “What are you doing, angel?”   
  
“Entertaining, dear.” He murmured back. He let out a small whine and slumped against the taller man, speaking louder “Daddy, I don’t feel so well.”   
  
Crowley chuckled, playing along “Comes with drinking too much. He helped Aziraphale lean against the wall while he grabbed the blond’s dress off the floor before turning to Paul Grimes “Thank you for the invitation but I believe I need to get him home before he passes out and is useless to me.”   
  
Paul laughed “Bring him again, next time. I have an escort he’d be so pretty with if you catch my drift.”   
  
Crowley grinned “Of course.”

  
  


They made it to the car and were out of sight of the mansion and on the outskirts of a nearby before Aziraphale burst out laughing “You should’ve seen your face!”  
  
“I told you to distract them-”   
  
“I was trying to keep it as innocent as possible but those men are animals.” He rolled his eyes “None of them touched me if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Crowley suddenly veered onto a side road and kept driving until they hit a dead end. He parked the car “Get in the back seat.”  
  
Aziraphale unbuckled his seat belt before turning and leaning into Crowley’s space “I thought you didn’t fuck in your car.”   
  
“If you don’t come all over my upholstery, there won’t be a problem.” The redhead wasn’t looking at him.   
  
They exited the car and Aziraphale crawled into the backseat and pulled up his dress as the other man crawled in after him. Crowley’s kisses were deep and possessive as he ran his hands along Aziraphale’s plump waist and down to his panties. Instead of pulling them down, he stroked Aziraphale’s cock through them “I just remembered I don’t have a condom so I’ll just suck you off, okay?”   
  
Aziraphale rolled his eyes “I’m clean. If you’re clean I don’t see a problem.”   
  
The other man stared at him for a moment then removed his glasses and pushed the panties to the side to expose his hole “I don’t have lube either-”   
  
“Not an issue, I stole his lube.” Aziraphale reached up to grab lube out of his shoe where his leg was hiked up onto the back of the seat before handing it to the other man.   
  
“Sneaky bastard.” Crowley smirked, putting lube on his fingers and slicking Aziraphale up before unbuttoning his pants and pulling his erection out. He slicked his cock and slammed it into the blond starting with a punishing pace.   
  
Azirphale cried out and bucked against him, clawing at his jacket as the redhead sucked several dark marks onto his neck “Crowley!”   
  
“I got you, angel.”   
  
After a while, Crowley’s thrusts became erratic and he came inside Aziraphale, burying himself deeper with a low groan. He pulled out and moved the panties back into place before pulling them down in the front to suck Aziraphale to completion.   
  
They excited the back of the car and Crowley got back into the front seat as the blond lingered for a moment in the back “That was- wow.”   
  
Aziraphale finally sat in the passenger seat “That was something.” The redhead turned to respond but before he had the chance, the blond’s arms shot out and the redhead found himself cuffed to the steering wheel “What the fuck!?”   
  
The blond didn’t answer as he got out of the car and grabbed a duffle bag from under his seat, pulling it out. He slipped off his dress and shoes, throwing them into the car. Crowley tried again “Aziraphale. What the fuck are you doing? Uncuff me.”

Aziraphale ignored him, removing his ruined panties and tossing them onto the redhead’s lap before pulling his regular clothes out of the duffle bag and pulling them on “I think it’s time we start seeing other people.”   
  
Crowley yanked at his cuffs “You can’t just leave me here.”   
  
“I won’t.” The blond assured, reaching into the back to grab Crowley’s phone, keys, and wallet that he had pulled from the other man’s coat while he was distracted.   
  
He tossed the keys into the backset, well out of reach, and then grabbed Crowley’s phone to call Newt “Hello dear, I need you to come help Crowley. He’s got himself in a bit of a jam- Oh no, he’s not in danger. Best get a wiggle on. I’ll turn on his location for you.”   
  
He hung up the phone before tossing it to the backseat as well “I’ll have to borrow some money, I hope you don’t mind. I have some traveling to do.” He pulled all the cash out of Crowley’s wallet before tossing it into the backseat as well, noticing another duffel bag “What’s this?”   
  
Crowley stiffened “Leave that alone.”   
  
Aziraphale ignored him and opened the bag to find it full of antique-looking jewelry “Oh, was this what we were actually after? Since I did the majority of the work I suppose I’m entitled.”   
  
Crowley just bit the inside of his cheek, clearly pissed “You have no idea how badly you’re fucking up.”   
  
The blond pulled the gun out of his bag and aimed it at him “Was that a threat?”   
  
“No, it’s a warning. If you want to shoot me, get it over with but I’m not the one you’ll have to worry about. You take those jewels and there will be others on your tail and they aren’t like me. My lot isn’t going to send you a rude note or hurt your feelings. They will kill you. Do you understand that!?”   
  
“I’ll take my chances.” The blond shot back, adjusting both bags on his shoulders “If you follow me, I will kill you.”   
  
“Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t give a damn about what happens to you. Not after this shit.”   
  
Aziraphale just blew him a sarcastic kiss before closing the door and walking away in the direction of the closest town. He pulled out his notebook and flipped to his notes on creating a new alias to read as he walked towards a new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there goes train wreck number two lol
> 
> Aziraphale's dress: https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/saint-laurent-mini-feather-chest-dress-prod226710104?childItemId=NMB5D9H_&navpath=cat000000_cat000001_cat58290731_cat43810733&page=0&position=25
> 
> Aziraphale's boots: https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/rene-caovilla-metallic-crystal-mesh-caged-sandals-prod221770030?childItemId=NMX4NY2_&navpath=cat000000_cat000141_cat47190746_cat45140734&page=0&position=0


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to link Aziraphale's outfit in my first update of the last chapter so if you missed it, it's there now lol Sorryyy
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! <3

Crowley woke up with a pounding headache to the sound of glasses clinking together. He blearily opened his eyes to see Newt cleaning off his coffee table “What are you doing?”   
  
“It smells like a bar in here and you need to shave. It’s been a week.” Newt answered, carrying his stack of glasses to the kitchen.   
  
“Really? Didn’t even notice he was gone.” He replied nonchalantly.   
  
Newt leveled him with a glare “This is ridiculous. You’re the reason he left, you don’t get to mope now.”   
  
“I’m not moping!” He snapped, sitting up “I don’t care what he does!”   
  
Newt gestured angrily at the master bedroom “Go take a shower. Sober up. We’re going to find Zira.”   
  
“He doesn’t want to be found. He made that clear.”   
  
“Aj.”   
  
“Fine.” He snapped, standing up “But if he shoots me I’m shooting him back.”   
  
Newt rolled his eyes “As if either of those things would happen.”

Crowley came back in the living room, freshly showered, and noted that Newt had cleaned up all the alcohol bottles and glasses and had wiped off everything. The room now smelled like cleaner rather than alcohol.   
  
Newt walked over to him wordlessly and slapped a book down on the coffee table “You need to read this. Call me when you’re done and you better stay sober. We won’t go back to this, Aj.”   
  
Crowley nodded mutely and picked up the book, not saying goodbye as his best friend left. He read the cover aloud “Leaving Eden, a Memoire by Aziraphale Fell.”   
  
“This is ridiculous. Newt is ridiculous. I’m not reading that bastard’s book.” He slung it onto the coffee table and moved to go make some food.   
  
He returned after eating and picked it up, opening the front cover “Dedicated to Eden Fell, the most wonderful mother, and my number one supporter.” Then below it “This is also for all of you that have ever felt lonely or isolated like I did. I can only hope you all find some silver lining to grasp onto, even when things are hard.”   
  
He rolled his eyes “I can tell this is going to be the preachiest, most conceited bullshit I’ve ever read.”

  
“It was one thing to be worth it to someone else, being special to someone. Living for them. That is easy. It’s always a harder thing to find what makes living worth it to you. Something to motivate you to keep living for yourself.” Crowley felt tears prick his eyes and sat up, frantically wiping his eyes. Nope, he was not going to cry over a fucking book, he checked the time, three in the morning. He laid back down and continued reading “I can go without sleep.”   
  
He finished the book sometime after six am and put it down on the coffee table before covering his face with a groan “I found a guy with a heart of gold who’s been hurt by literally everyone in his life save for his mother and managed to hurt him worse. I am the worst fuck up. He’s better off without me.”   
  
Crowley stood up and walked to the guest room, untouched since Aziraphale left it. He found a book laying on the pillow and picked it up, confused to see a letter fall out. He glanced at the cover, Pride and Prejudice.

The man stared at the letter for a long moment before gingerly picking it up and opening it. Written, in elegant cursive:

“ **_Dear Anthony J. Crowley,_ _  
_ _  
_ _You are a cad and a prick but you did save my life, for that I am grateful. By now I would’ve told you not to follow me and I meant that. At least, I suppose I did. Who’s to say?_ **

**_‘I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.’_ **

**_I know you’re probably stomping around your flat with that silly scowl on your face, angry with me. You’ve probably thrown away all my things and erased any evidence of my existence. I wouldn’t blame you._ _  
_ _  
_ _It was fun. You were fun and you taught me things that will help me find happiness, I hope. I won’t forget the way you made me feel that first night like I was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen, like I was the most pleasing person you’ve ever touched, like my presence tempted you beyond reason. It was a lovely thought._ **

**_‘Everything in this world is about sex, except sex. Sex is power.’_ _  
_ _  
_ **

**_Sincerely, Aziraphale Fell_ **

**_Ps. Don’t be mistaken. I’m still angry with you._ **

**_Pps. I left a note for Newt in the disc slot of his laptop, make sure he finds it before it… catches on fire or something. Oh, dear._ **

**_In case Newt’s letter has caught fire ‘How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.’_ **

_**I hope he knows that his friendship meant a lot to me and saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.** ” _

Crowley sat down on the bed in stunned silence before groaning “Well after this nonsense I have to rescue you, don’t I?” He dialed Newt’s number, waking the other man up “Pack your things and um, check your laptop’s disc slot before it catches on fire? We’re getting Aziraphale back.”   
  
“You do realize that this will require you to man up and act better?” Newt asked, sleepily.   
  
“Yes, I do. I think I know what he wants now.”

There was a heavy pause as Newt’s sleep-addled brain caught up with them “Why would my laptop catch on fire!?”   
  


They found Aziraphale in Paris at just the right moment. He had been arrested and was sitting in jail when Crowley showed up and pulled some strings to help him out. The blond eyed him wearily as they left the police station, neither saying a word. They had almost made it to the car when Aziraphale had swung his duffel bag with enough force to knock Crowley over and ran away. 

Newt approached, squatting next to where Crowley lay on the sidewalk, defeated “Use your words next time, Romeo.”   
  
“I hate Shakespeare’s tragedies.” He groaned “This is why I prefer the funny ones.”

“I beg to differ.” The other man quipped, sipping an iced coffee “This is definitely a funny one.”

  
  


They found Aziraphale again in Spain. 

Crowley wasn’t bluffing about other people going after the blond because of what he’d stolen and he had just entered the blond’s hotel room to find him being attacked.    
  
Crowley saw one of the goons punch Aziraphale and he saw red as he grabbed the blond by the arm and swung him behind himself as he shot the man in the chest then fired off three more rounds into his chest before shooting the other men in the room. In all, it had taken just a few seconds. He turned to Aziraphale, who was trembling... In fear. Crowley loosened his grip and the blond scrambled back “Listen-” He was cut off as the blond pulled out his gun and fired at the wall behind him, distracting him long enough to grab his duffel bags and flee.

Aziraphale ran out the building, pocketing his gun, and saw Newt leaning on a black Maserati outside “Is this what Crowley’s driving?”   
  
Newt tossed him the keys with a grin “Give him hell, babe.”

Aziraphale gave the brunet a hug and a kiss on the cheek before climbing into the car “Tell your friend to stop following me but that I suppose I’m thankful for the uh, rescue.”

Crowley ran out of the building just as Aziraphale sped off. He ran up to Newt “Did you let him steal my car!?”   
  
“Relax, it was just a rental.”   
  
“Well, I guess we have to find another.” He groused “I scared him, I think.”   
  
Newt rolled his eyes “That much was clear. He said ‘rescue’ like you were out to kill him too but saved him on accident.”   
  


Aziraphale was in the kitchen of the suite he was renting in Italy when he turned and found Crowley standing there, holding up his hands placatingly “Aziraphale-”   
  
The blond whipped out his gun, trembling “Are you here to hurt me!?”   
  
“No!” He scowled “What the devil would make you think I’d hurt you!?”   
  
“I robbed you!” The blond pointed out, trembling a bit less “And as I recall, I told you not to follow me.”   
  
“You wanted me to follow you or you wouldn’t have written me a letter.” Crowley dared a step forward. The blond eyed his movement wearily but didn’t fire the gun, a good sign.   
  
“You flatter yourself. I just thought it’d be rude to leave without truly saying goodbye.” The blond didn’t shoot as Crowley took another step forward, almost within reaching distance.   
  
“Aziraphale, I promise I’m not going to hurt you.” He slowly pulled his gun out and removed the clip, putting it gently on the counter next to the two of them. He gestured at the gun Aziraphale held “Angel, please put down the gun.”   
  
“You’ll kill me like you killed that man.”   
  
“That man was trying to kill you. I’d never put my hands on you. You know that.” He held his breath as he stepped closer, then released it as the blond reluctantly put the gun down.   
  
He took another step forward and the blond sprang into action, diving for his gun. Crowley slung it out of the way before pinning Aziraphale to the counter “You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased!”   
  
Azirphale stopped struggling and gaped at him “Did you just quote Mr. Darcy?”   
  
“You literally put my letter in a copy of Pride and Prejudice, how could I not-” He was cut off as Aziraphale kissed him.

The blond pulled back, gasping for breath “That’s so unfair, quoting Darcy at me. You couldn’t have chosen someone more distasteful?”   
  
“You quoted Darcy at me, first!” He shot back “And Oscar Wilde! What am I supposed to do with that!?”   
  
Aziraphale pouted and looked down “I don’t know. I suppose I just thought you’d ponder over it by candlelight and thought of what might’ve been if you’d treated me like a person with feelings.”   
  
“How disappointing for you that I chose to chase you across Europe in order to treat you like a person with feelings instead, huh?” He murmured, tilting the other man’s chin up to look at him. The blond’s lips twitched into a faint smile.   
  
“I suppose I could live with that, assuming you keep quoting my literary crushes.” He quipped.   
  
“You have to return that jewelry, angel.” He murmured, hearing the blond sigh before standing up and wiggling out of his reach. He walked into what was presumably a bedroom and came back to the doorway in nothing but a pink silk robe and the jewelry set “Why would you want me to take it back when I look so pretty?”   
  
Crowley grabbed both their guns and brought them into the room before tossing them into the corner “Just in case.” He answered at the blond’s confused look before he approached, sliding his hand down his face and neck, slightly shifting the silk robe off the side of one of his shoulders before leaning down and inhaling deeply “You’ve ruined me, angel.”   
  
“I hardly see how.” The blond’s voice wavered as he began unbuttoning Crowley’s shirt “The only way I know to please you is sex.”   
  
Crowley stopped his hands gently “If your only worth to me was sex would I have chased you across Europe?”

Aziraphale looked lost so Crowley kissed him, gentle, as he moved the blond’s hands back to the remaining buttons on his shirt. Afterward, he shimmied out of his jeans and plopped onto the bed, his back against the headboard “Come here, angel.”   
  
The blond obeyed, straddling him “What do I do?”   
  
Crowley pulled the string from Aziraphale’s robe and looped it around his neck loosely, tugging down “To start, I missed your mouth.”   
  
The blond blushed but smiled as he took Crowley’s cock into his mouth before beginning to expertly move his tongue and bob his head. Crowley moved his hands to his curls and tugged gently, encouraging “You have the prettiest mouth, angel, and not just when wrapped around my cock. I could come just from watching you eat cake.” The blond moaned and pulled him in deeper. Crowley continued “You make the sexiest noises when something pleases you.”   
  
Aziraphale pulled off for air and Crowley yanked him up into a filthy kiss, tasting himself on the blond’s tongue “Do you have lube?”   
  
The blond blushed “Of course I have lube. You know I like-”   
  
“I know you like what, angel? Being touched here?” He moved his fingers up the inside of Aziraphale’s thigh, up to the cleft of his ass.    
  
“Crowley!”   
  
“Yes, angel.” He murmured, reaching over and grabbing the lube out of the nightstand drawer “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you.” He pushed a finger in, cooing at the blond when he bucked back against it.    
  
Aziraphale’s cock leaked on Crowley’s stomach as he bounced against the intrusion “Crowley, please!”   
  
“I will angel. Don’t I always take care of you?” He gently kissed the blond’s neck, adding another finger.   
  
Aziraphale buried his face in Crowley’s neck and whimpered at the third finger “Crowley, I’m sorry-”   
  
“Shh, I’m sorry too. We have to communicate, yeah?” He kissed Aziraphale’s temple in a way that could almost be considered affectionate “We’ll both do better.”   
  
He removed his fingers, making soothing noises at Aziraphale’s whimper and laid him flat out on the bed before hiking the blond’s legs up over his hips to line his cock up “Are you still-”   
  
“Yeah, I haven’t- not with anyone but you.” The blond panted out. He arched his back as Crowley pushed his cock inside of him, achingly slow.

They moved together for what felt like hours, Aziraphale turning into a whimpering, over-stimulated mess at the slow drag of Crowley moving in and out of him at a torturous pace as he licked and sucked at the blond’s neck and collarbones. It could’ve been mistaken for love-making in any other situation, Aziraphale thought, as Crowley pinned his wrists to the bedsheets and murmured against his jugular ‘In your letter, you said I looked at you like you’re the most beautiful person I’d ever seen, touched you like everything you did pleased me, acted as if you tempted me beyond reason. All those things are true.” His voice was deep and raspy, passionate. He pushed his cock against the blond’s prostate causing him to arch his back “I’ve never had sex with anyone but you more than once, I’ve never let someone into my apartment, into my life. No one but you.”

“Why-” He panted out, not knowing what he was going to ask.   
  
Crowley pushed his sweaty hair back from his face and moved to whisper in his ear “Stay with me, please?”   
  
Aziraphale started crying and Crowley kissed his tears away, still moving achingly slow. He found his voice “Yes, yes I’ll stay with you but you have to-”   
  
“I’ll treat you as good as you deserve, I promise.” Crowley assured, pulling back slightly looking shy “I mean, what kind of dom am I if I can’t keep my submissive happy?”   
  
“Not a good one.” The blond giggled wetly as Crowley leaned down to kiss him. They pulled back and Aziraphale wiggled “If you could go faster, dear-”   
  
“Patience, angel.” Crowley murmured, leaning down and nipping at his ear “I’ll give let you come when I’m done. I’ve been without you for weeks.”   
  
“I’m rather surprised I haven’t- ah- been spanked yet.” He gasped out as Crowley began stroking the blond’s cock in time with his thrusts.

Crowley chuckled against his ear “Oh, for all this trouble, you will. But we’ll wait until we get home.” He tugged hard on the blond, causing him to cry out “I’m going to punish you in ways you never dreamed of, my angel, my submissive.”   
  
Aziraphale came.   
  
  
Aziraphale cuddled closer to Crowley’s side as the redhead dragged a hand up and down his back “I don’t think it would be safe to return the jewelry at this point.”   
  
“Eh, probably not now that I think about it. Not a thing, we’ll be so far away they won’t even notice us.”   
  
The blond sat up, his robe shifting off his shoulder “Far away?”   
  
“I may have bought us a cottage in northern California.”   
  
“You bought me a house?” The blond gasped out.   
  
“Well, I bought the three of us a house. Newt is coming with us, of course. It’s beautiful and has a garden out back and a lovely view of a mountain lake. I already picked your room and you’ll adore it. It has a big quirky window and sloped ceilings with antique hardwood flooring. Perfect for your quirky vintage writer thing you have going on.”

Aziraphale was still gaping at him. Crowley pressed on, sitting up “There’s a small town nearby and it has a community college. I know it’s not as prestigious of a school as you could deserve but it’s something and- oof.” He breathed out as the blond pushed him back on the bed and straddled him.   
  
“So you bought me a house on an entirely different continent so I can go to school safely?” He trailed his hand down Crowley’s chest.   
  
The other man gulped “Uh, is this a turn on for you?”   
  
Aziraphale laughed and stroked Crowley to hardness before taking him back into his mouth. The redhead groaned and pushed his hand through his hair “You’re so fucking good at this.” He watched Aziraphale’s head bob up and down as something red caught his eye. He snatched Aziraphale off of him and pushed him onto the floor just as a bullet his the bed where the blond’s head once was. They exchanged a look and then quickly pushed up the bed and shoved it against the window. Aziraphale rushed to grab his bags while Crowley pulled on his pants, leaving the shirt unbuttoned. Aziraphale grabbed their guns and crouch next to the doorway, tossing Crowley his own gun and clip. The redhead only had a moment to appreciate the view of Aziraphale crouched in nothing but a robe, holding a gun, his creamy thick thighs exposed and marked up by Crowley’s teeth, before the front door was kicked in.   
  
“Crowley, Crowley, Crowley.” A voice called out. Ligur. “I know you’re in here with your plaything.”   
  
They exchanged a look and Crowley gestured for Aziraphale to follow when he gave the queue “Ahh Ligur, so nice of you to join us.” He called out sarcastically.   
  
“They’re in the bedroom. Kill them.”    
  
Crowley motioned for Aziraphale to move and the two of them stood and ran out into the hallways, firing.   
  
Aziraphale managed to injure one while Crowley killed the other. He pushed Aziraphale behind the kitchen counter for cover as Ligur shot at them.   
  
He mouthed “Don’t move.” At the blond before he stood up and shot Ligur, killing him instantly. He motioned for Aziraphale to follow and they ran from the apartment, ducking for cover as they were shot at. Distantly, Crowley could hear Hastur screaming.   
  
They got in the car and Crowley quickly spun out, seeing cars peel out behind them in the rearview mirror “Fuck.” He shouted.   
  
Two of the cars sped up on both sides, intending to pin him in. He slammed on the breaks and watched as they wrecked into each other, spinning out the way before he hit the accelerator again.    
  
He heard the familiar sound of bullets hitting the back of the car and turned to Azirphale to see the blond unbuckling his seatbelt “Angel!?”   
  
“I can handle this.” He assured, wrapping the seatbelt across his leg like an anchor as he sat on the window of the car before leaning out and shooting the other car’s tires out.   
  
He sat in his seat, looking smug, as the car behind them stopped with a screech of metal on the pavement, they no longer were being pursued.   
  
“Aziraphale, that was incredible!” Just as he spoke another car crashed in from a road uphill from them and Crowley groaned, eyeing the draw bridge coming up “I think we can make that.”   
  
The blond shifted, uneasy “Um, Crowley!?”   
  
“I’ve always said if you gotta go, then go with style!” He hit the accelerator as they crossed the bridge, becoming airborne at the end. The car behind them hit the brakes as the two men in the car realized they wouldn’t make the jump.   
  
“Oh fuck,” Aziraphale shouted, as they fell into the water below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The duo of dumbassery is back lol


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope ya'll enjoy! I meant to update yesterday but was too tired after my first day back at work (I'm still weak from being sick for nearly two weeks)

“Shit.Shit.Shit.SHIT!SHIT!” Azirphale panicked as the car began to fill with water.  
  
“Angel, calm down.” Crowley reached into the back seat and grabbed all three of their duffel bags, pulling them securely around his shoulders. He reached across the seat and pulled the blond close to him as he pulled out his gun and took aim at the windshield “When I shoot, the car will instantly fill with water. Start swimming upwards and do not stop.”  
  
The blond nodded shakily as Crowley shot the window out, instantly flooding the car with water.  
  
A few moments later, they broke the surface, spluttering. Crowley swam closer to Azirphale “Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine! Just a bit shook up. What now?”  
  
“We’re going to swim to the opposite shore and walk from there. Hopefully, they’ll think we’re dead.”  
  
They stumbled out of the water and onto the sand with a groan and flopped onto their backs, panting.  
  
“We made it.” Aziraphale spoke first.  
  
“We made it.” Crowley repeated.  
  
“We’re alive!” Azirphale giggled.  
  
“We’re alive.” Crowley repeated again.  
  
They turned to each other and burst out laughing, Crowley’s laugh sounding oddly like a quack, making Aziraphale laugh even harder “You’re so stupid!”  
  
“I thought we could make the jump! You should’ve seen your face when we began to fall!” Crowley, still laughing, wiped his hair back from his face and flinging droplets with the movement.  
  
Aziraphale thought at that moment that he had never seen anything more beautiful than Crowley looking so carefree. He froze, his laugh calming down. Oh- Oh. This wasn’t good.  
  
Crowley began to notice his staring “Uh, is something wrong?”  
  
“You have a stupid laugh.” He blurted, deflecting from what was actually running through his mind.  
  
Crowley scowled “Well you laugh like a rich person!”  
  
“Coming from the guy that apologizes with Gucci and Louis Vuitton!”  
  
“This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous.” Crowley stood up, still scowling, and held his hand out to help the blond to his feet “The plan now is to find the nearest hotel. My card wouldn’t have been ruined by the water and it’s under an alias the agency wouldn’t know about. We’ll rest up there and then I’ll call in a favor with someone I trust to get us to the United States.” 

  
The man at the front desk eyed Azirphale, who stood behind Crowley clad in only a silk robe, as he checked them in “Is this for the hour?”  
  
Crowley snickered as Azirphale glowered at him “No, its for the night. We’ll be needing room service as well.”

They opted to shower together after an extensive argument over who was colder after their swim. Azirphale shrieked when he got under the spray “Did you summon this water from Hell!?”  
  
“Hell is cold, angel.” Crowley quipped “I’m disappointed. One would assume you’ve read Dante’s Inferno.”  
  
Aziraphale turned to him, pouting and clearly turned on “I hope you know it’s unfair when you do that.”  
  
Crowley responded by pouring a generous portion of hotel shampoo onto his hair, causing the blond to glare at him “I don’t know what you mean. I suppose ‘I am so clever I that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.’”

The blond kissed him hungrily and Crowley gently pulled away, laughing “Damn, I’m going to read more if that’s what gets you going. However, you have that awful shampoo in your hair and need to finish washing it out.”  
  
Azirphale scowled “Thanks to you!” He turned his back to the redhead and began lathering the shampoo as he felt the other man’s hands travel down his waist and move to cup his ass “I thought you said I need to finish washing my hair.”  
  
“I did. I didn’t say that I can’t enjoy what I’m looking at.” Crowley murmured, kissing down the blond’s back as he got on his knees, spreading Aziraphale’s cheeks.  
  
The shower was cold by the time they got out.  
  
  
  


“Really? A private jet!?” Aziraphale shot him a disbelieving look as they boarded their flight.  
  
“It’s a favor from one of the higher-ups I can trust. I’m rich but I’m not this rich.” Crowley rolled his eyes, he had lost his glasses during their swim and hadn't bothered to buy new ones yet “We just can’t fly commercial because of some of our luggage.” He emphasized his point by tapping Aziraphale’s bag that held his gun as he put it in one of their overhead cabinets.  
  
“Oh! Good point.”  
  
“Not to mention I can smoke while flying private,” Crowley said as he sat in his seat. Aziraphale sat across from him.

They took off and Crowley waited until they were given the all-clear to unbuckle their seatbelts before pulling out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one, and taking a long drag.

“Those things are a bad idea.” The blond said, eyeing the pack warily as Crowley blew out a puff of smoke.

“So are you.” He took another drag and deliberately blew it out slowly, shifting his thighs open slightly and watching as the blond tracked the movement with his eyes “Go tell our lovely attendant not to disturb us unless requested for the rest of the flight.”  
  
Aziraphale blushed “We can’t have sex here!”  
  
“Why not? We’ve had sex in an alley and on a desk at a party. You enjoyed both if I recall correctly.”  
  
The blond debated for a moment before standing up and doing as he was told.

He returned to his seat, wringing his hands as Crowley put out his cigarette in an ashtray and moved to the wine cabinet and poured them both a glass “Don’t look so nervous, angel. What we’re going to be doing won’t make you scream, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

“I don’t scream!” The blond huffed, indignant.  
  
“You do if I fuck you just right.” Crowley stated firmly “You do when I eat you out.” He passed the blushing blond his glass of wine before sitting across from him.  
  
“Is this what we’ll be doing now? You just get what you want when you want?”  
  
“I’ll get what I want when we both want it. You’re welcome to fuck other people as am I, obviously. Dating or fucking exclusively is out of the question for me.”  
  
Aziraphale put down his glass, smirking as he stood up and approached Crowley. He bent over and kissed him, filthy and full of tongue, before pulling back with a snicker “How disappointing. I was so sure you’d propose.”  
  
“Not a chance, angel.” Crowley smirked back “I’m sure you’re wondering what I have planned for our flight?”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Strip. There’s lube in my duffel bag. Grab it and lube yourself up for my cock. I want to watch you.”  
  
Azirphale blushed but did as he was told “Where do I-?”  
  
Crowley gestured at his lap before unzipping his pants “I want you here.”  
  
The blond straddled him, blushing, as he pushed in a finger. Crowley’s eyes darkened as he watched. Azirphale whimpered “This is embarrassing.”  
  
“If you can finger yourself in front of a group of men you don’t even know, you can finger yourself in front of me.”  
  
“I didn’t care if they thought I did this weird. I want you to think I’m-”  
  
“Sexy?” The redhead asked, his eyebrow arching “I think we’ve established I find you incredibly sexy. Now do as you’re told like a good boy and I’ll consider letting up on the punishment I have planned.”  
  
Aziraphale added another finger, bucking against his own hand, as Crowley slid his hands up his thighs, gripping him tight enough to bruise “I like your hands.” The blond blurted, blushing at his sudden comment.  
  
Crowley smirked “Only because I have long fingers, you hedonistic thing.”  
  
“No they’re- ah!- you touch me just right-” He added a third finger “Crowley- please.”  
  
“It’s so cute that you assume I’m going to fuck you.” Crowley growled playfully pushing in a finger alongside Aziraphale’s, causing the blond to cry out “Shh. You don’t want everyone to hear what a desperate slut you are, do you?” He pulled out his fingers before pulling out Aziraphale’s as well “You’ll sit on my cock and keep it warm.”  
  
The blond blinked at him “Alright… then what?”  
  
“That’s it. You’ll keep my cock warm for our flight or until I’m done. Then you’ll sit in your seat like a good boy and behave yourself.”

“Will we… orgasm like that?”  
  
“Not unless I tell you that you can, no.”  
  
Aziraphale wordlessly pulled Crowley’s erection free and sat down on it, moaning low in his throat as he buried his face into the crook of the other man’s neck.  
  
Crowley set down his glass of wine and picked up a book he had bought on the way to the airport and began reading.  
  
“Please master can I touch your cheek

please master can I kneel at your feet

please master can I loosen your blue pants

please master can I gaze at your golden-haired belly

please master can I have your thighs bare to my eyes…”  
  
As he read, Aziraphale felt his body relax. He forgot everything around him, focusing only on the twitch of his lover’s member inside of him and the other man’s soothing voice in his ear.

Aziraphale startled as Crowley shifted under him to put the book up “Put your clothes back on sweetheart. It’s nearly time for dinner.”  
  
He blinked, confused “How long-”  
  
“A few hours.” Crowley answered, kissing him gently “You were so good.”  
  
Aziraphale whimpered as he stood up and put on his clothes, still feeling out of it. He had just sat in his seat as the flight attendant entered with their first course.  
  
After she left, Crowley leaned forward, his eyes molten “I’m sure this doesn’t need to be said, but you are getting dessert.” 

  
They got off their flight and stayed the night in a swanky hotel in New York. The next morning, Crowley shook Aziraphale awake gently “Get up, angel. We’re going to get breakfast before our next flight.”  
  
Azirphale mumbled and swatted at him “Get back to your own bed.” They had slept in separate beds during both their hotel stays. Crowley was firm in not sleeping in the same bed on the basis of it being too intimate and Aziraphale had to agree, especially after the silly thought that had run through his mind in Spain. Love? With Crowley. It was obviously the adrenaline of their near-death experience talking. He wasn’t interested in love or relationships. Nope. Especially not with Crowley. 

Crowley sighed “Fine… I suppose you don’t want breakfast at Tiffany’s after all.”  
  
Aziraphale sat up quickly at the mention of an Audrey Hepburn movie “You’re teasing me.”  
  
“Nope. There’s a gimmicky restaurant I got us reservations to.”  
  
The blond shot out of bed and moved to get changed “You should’ve opened up with that! Not all this ‘Get up, angel’ nonsense!”  
  
  
  


Crowley rented a car when they landed at the airport in California. The drive was mostly silent as Aziraphale stared out the window, fascinated by the scenery.  
  
They drove through a small, quaint town and Crowley pointed out a cluster of buildings in the distance “That’s the college here. There are also some cute cafes near it that seem like something you’d like. It’s a small community so you don’t have to worry about being in danger.”  
  
“Its lovely, Crowley.” He beamed, looking out the window, not seeing the way the redhead watched him. They drove past a shop and Azirphale sat up “Ooh! That place is spooky!”  
  
Crowley pulled over “Let’s check it out. I like spooky. Big spooky fan, me.”  
  
Aziraphale suddenly blushed “Oh-OH! That is the loveliest girl I’ve ever seen! Isn’t she lovely, Crowley!?”  
  
The redhead looked in the direction he was pointing and saw a brunette woman in vintage clothing setting up a display outside. He hummed in agreement “Wow, she is pretty- Aren’t you gay!?”  
  
“I have eyes, dear. Don’t get jealous.”  
  
“I don’t get jealous.” He said, rolling his eyes as the blond ignored him.  
  
Aziraphale got out of the car and approached the shop front. The girl looked away from her display and smiled politely at him “Oh, an unfamiliar face! I had a feeling we’d have someone new in town. I’m Anathema Device, an occultist. You are?”  
  
“Ezra Pulsifer.” Crowley answered for him, approaching, holding out his hand for her to shake “Antony Cowwley.”  
  
The woman looked between them for a moment, her brows furrowed as if she was concentrating on something, in a blink, the moment was gone as if it never happened and she was still smiling- a bit more genuine now “Well, it’s so nice to meet you both! How long have you been together?”  
  
They looked at each other then back at her “Oh- Oh no. We’re not-” They sputtered at the same time.  
  
“A shame.” She winked as she entered the shop. They followed after her and Crowley was suddenly left by himself while the blond ran to the back where the books were. He preoccupied himself with looking at the antique jewelry through the glass. One, in particular, caught his eye “I’ll get the brooch.” He heard Azirphale make a giddy noise from across the shop “... and whatever books he just picked.”  
  
Azirphale approached him with his spoils “Do you mind-”  
  
“Put them on the counter angel, so the nice woman can ring us up.”  
  
Anathema kept eyeing Crowley as she typed their items into her vintage register. Aziraphale tried not to let it bother him “I love your outfit, my dear. I’m rather fond of vintage clothing, myself.”  
  
The brunette smiled at him “Thank you!” She gave them their total and Crowley paid. As they moved to exit the shop, she called after them “I hope to see the two of you around!”  
  
“You as well, my dear!” He turned to Crowley once out of earshot "She was so darling."  
  
As they got in the car, Crowley pulled a small bag out of the larger one “Here. Housewarming gift.”  
  
“Oh, thank you! You didn’t have to get me anything, dear. You already got me books.”  
  
Crowley didn’t look at him “It’s not a big deal, angel. Besides, it matches your pocket watch.”  
  
“What pocket watch?” The blond asked, tilting his head.  
  
“Oh- Oh yeah, you never opened it.” The redhead mumbled. He shrugged and started up the car “It’ll be in your room amongst your other things.”  
  
“You erm… didn’t want to get her number?” Aziraphale asked, thinking about the brunette woman. She was gorgeous and so undeniably cooler than him.  
  
“Who’s number?” Crowley asked absentmindedly as he pulled away.  
  
“Anathema’s.”  
  
“Who!?”  
  
“You literally just met her!”  
  
“Oh… book girl. Why would I want her number?”  
  
“She’s gorgeous and she kept looking at you.”  
  
“Everyone does.” The redhead smirked, “But no, I don’t need nor want her number.”  
  
The conversation died out after that, both men lost in thought. 

  
They pulled into their driveway and Aziraphale stepped out, gaping “Crowley, this is most definitely not a cottage.”  
  
“Yes, it is! It’s homey. There are mountains. A lake. Quirky windows. Stone exterior.”  
  
“It’s huge!”  
  
“I like space!” Crowley shot back, grabbing their bags out the backseat of the car and shrugging them on. He blew a kiss at the Bentley parked outside “Oh my lovely girl, how I’ve missed being inside you.”  
  
Azirphale laughed “Newt and I need to create a drinking game based on whether you’ve said things like that to a lover or your car.”  
  
“Laugh all you want, blondie, but my car is the only thing I’ve ever been consistently inside besides you.”  
  
Aziraphale smacked him in the arm playfully, causing the redhead to laugh just as Newt opened the front door. He gaped at them “Aj are you laughing!?”  
  
“No.” The redhead said quickly, scowling.  
  
Aziraphale rolled his eyes “I do believe he’s got a crush on his car.” He held out his arms and Newt rushed to hug him “I’ve missed you!”  
  
“Angel, you talked to him more than you talked to me throughout your little road trip.” Crowley groused. Azirphale ignored him.  
  
“I’ve only had Crowley for company the last few days and it’s been awful. He read me naughty poetry.” He mock pouted, causing his friend to laugh.  
  
Newt wrapped his arm around Aziraphale’s shoulders winking at Crowley as they walked into the house “Awe, poor baby. Don’t worry. I won’t let the grumpy pervert bore you anymore.”  
  
“Thank you, dear. You’re too kind.”

“I’m not grumpy! Or a pervert!”  
  
Newt and Aziraphale shot him equally deadpan looks that Crowley pointedly ignored as he walked up the stairs “I suppose you want the boring room, then?”  
  
Aziraphale pouted and followed him “No I don’t want-” He cut off as Crowley opened the door to his bedroom. It had sloped ceilings with natural finished wood beams and matching victorian parquette flooring. The end of the room was dominated by a massive, stained glass window featuring a religious scene of an angel and serpent in The Garden of Eden “Crowley… it’s beautiful- OH! My things!” He was quickly distracted as he noticed the boxes littered throughout the room. He opened a box and pulled out a small silver jewelry box, inside was a necklace “Hey mom, did you miss me?” He asked it quietly, pressing his lips to it before placing it gently back into the box. He turned to Crowley to see the other man watching him with a shocked expression.  
  
“Is something wrong?”  
  
“You’re crying…”  
  
He reached up to touch his face before laughing, embarrassed “Oh, I suppose I am. I’m crying because I’m happy, don’t worry. When you said my things were here I assumed you meant my things from the flat… not my actual things. Thank you.”  
  
Crowley crossed the room and brushed a tear away from his cheek before kissing it “Don’t thank me, angel.” He pulled away and the moment was broken “There’s not a bathroom up here but the master bedroom has ‘his and her’s’… well in our case “his and his’ bathrooms so we can just share.” He held his hand out “Our shower is huge and sections our bathroom into two sides. You’ll love it.”

“So I’m allowed in your bedroom now?”  
  
“For sex and to use your bathroom, yes.”  
  
“You really know how to make a guy feel special.” He quipped, smirking.  
  
He felt arms encircle his waist from behind and a low growl in his ear “You are special. Don’t think I forgot that I was going to punish your little disappearing act.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem Crowley was reading (its filth and seems like just the thing Crowley would read to tease/embarrass Aziraphale): https://hellopoetry.com/poem/73/please-master/
> 
> There is a restaurant in New York called The Blue Box Cafe and it's based on the movie. Its temporarily closed rn for renovation/rebranding reasons but we're going to ignore that for the sake of fanfic lol
> 
> The brooch Crowley bought Aziraphale (not the price because he was thrifty): https://antiques-uncommon-treasure.com/products/antique-edwardian-12k-gold-starburst-pendant-1-2-8-brooch-diamond-seed-pearl?variant=31947496325164¤cy=USD


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly fluff because the next chapter will be complete filth. Life has to have balance lol
> 
> I also REALLY needed to write fluff because I had an awful day and it helped tbh

Aziraphale finished up organizing his room and appraised his work before bounding down the stairs “I finished so I can help with the unpacking down here.”   
  
Crowley, who was unpacking a box in the kitchen called to him “I’m busy in the kitchen. Would you mind unpacking in the living room? Newt’s still working in his own bedroom.”   
  
The blond responded with an affirmative before moving to the living room. He opened a box labeled electronics and confusedly set the contents near the tv as Newt walked into the living room. The brunet laughed at his confused expression “They’re video games, Zira. You’re trying to tell me you don’t play them?”   
  
“I suppose I was always too busy. I played Mario Party, once, at a frat party.”   
  
Newt laughed “We’ll fix that. Now, scoot. I’ll set all this up while you set out the decor.”   
  
“Sounds like a plan!” Aziraphale laughed, embarrassed, as he walked over to a box labeled ‘art.’ He opened the lid and gasped “Wow, this is lovely! I like this much better than that overly modern nonsense Crowley had in Mayfair.”   
  
Newt peered into the box and paled “Close this box and-” He was cut off as Crowley walked into the living room.   
  
“The kitchen is unpacked and ready for blondie to stress bake his way through college.”   
  
“Funny.” Azirphale stuck his tongue out playfully before turning back to the box “I was just telling Newt that this art is much better than the art you had out in Mayfair. Why would you keep this boxed up?”   
  
Crowley scrunched his brows and approached, freezing at the sight of the contents in the box “Those were mixed up. They’re junk paintings.”   
  
“They are NOT junk paintings! If you’re going to throw them away I’ll just take them to my room!” He shot back, indignantly grabbing the box “Tasteless prat.”   
  
He left the two men in the living room, staring.   
  
Crowley sat down and buried his head in his hands as Newt burst out laughing “That’s so cute. He likes your art.”   
  
“Shut up.” The red-headed man groaned, embarrassed.

Upstairs, Aziraphale froze while pulling one of the framed paintings out of the box, a scene of two male lovers embracing in Paris, on the bottom corner it was signed ‘A.J.Crowley.’ He smiled to himself as he stroked his hand along the frame of the painting before standing up to find a place to put it.

“I think you should get out today.” Crowley told Aziraphale, over breakfast “You haven’t explored around town yet and it would be a good idea to get familiar with the area before your first semester at the college starts.”   
  
“Oh, I suppose that’s a good idea. Will you drive me?” He asked, spreading jam on his toast.   
  
Crowley’s lips twitched behind his mug of black coffee “Nope.”   
  
“Do you expect me to walk?” He asked, confused.   
  
“Perhaps you could take Dick Turpin.” His eyes sparkled with mirth.   
  
Aziraphale huffed “Jokes on you because I like Dick Turpin! He’s blue and not scary to drive.”   
  
Crowley pulled a set of keys out his pocket “Give it a whirl, blondie.”   
  
The blond playfully aimed the key at him as if it were a knife instead “I would suggest you stop calling me that.” He ran upstairs to get ready before heading back down, finding Crowley casually loitering around the front door. Azirphale shot him a questioning look before stepping outside. He paused. There was a third car in the driveway “Is someone visiting?”   
  
“Nope.” Crowley grinned “Do you like it?”

“Do I like it!?” He gasped out, not comprehending what was going on as he stared at the blue Volkswagon Beetle parked in their yard “Do I like the adorable vintage car!? Of course, I bloody like it! Is this another one you’re working on?”   
  
“No, it’s already worked on.” He tossed Aziraphale a different set of keys “Now give me Newt’s keys back.”   
  
Aziraphale gasped “You’re letting me drive it!?”   
  
“Well it is your car, so I suppose you could drive it.” He grinned at the look on Aziraphale’s face.   
  
“No! No. You can’t- You can’t just buy me a whole bloody car-”

“Au contraire, sweetheart, I’ve already bought you a car. Thus proving I can, in fact, buy you a car. Don’t freak out, it was a reasonable price.”   
  
The blond paled suddenly “Oh- Oh god, what did you do now!?”   
  
Crowley scowled “I didn’t do anything! Can’t I do nice things for you without an ulterior motive!?”

Aziraphale felt tears well up in his eyes as he looked back at the car “I’ve never- You really didn’t have to.”   
  
“Oh no, don’t get emotional on me now after you acted like I fucked up again.” Crowley laughed, hugging Azirphale from behind and nipping at his ear “Fine, maybe I didn’t feel like being your chauffeur.”   
  
“I can accept that.” The blond murmured, wiping a stray tear “I’ve never had a car before. Mom and I couldn’t afford it and both our jobs were within walking distance. When I got royalty money from my book I just put it towards my rent and college tuition.”   
  
“It’s so sexy that you’re frugal.” Crowley growled playfully “Go out and have fun but if you happen to make a friend, don’t make plans for tomorrow.”   
  
“Why not?” He asked, turning to face the taller man.   
  
“Your punishment.”    
  
“I was hoping you’d forgotten.” He pouted, both men knowing he didn’t mean it.

“Oh, I wouldn’t forget to discipline you, angel.” Crowley joked, leaning down for a kiss “No go give her a spin. Don’t kill me but I got you a phone through my agency, it’s untraceable and so is the laptop I had sent for you.”   
  
“So you didn’t buy it?” He asked, eyeing the other man.   
  
“No, I didn’t buy it.”   
  
“Good. Maybe you should take notes from me and be more frugal.”   
  
“Not a chance. Spending money’s in the wallet in the glove box!” He backed away quickly, laughing at the blond’s exasperated expression.   
  
“I’m going to spend all your money on vintage books!” He threatened, unlocking the car with a laugh as the other man walked back inside.   
  
He slid into the white leather seat and ran his hands over the matching wheel with a blush before reaching over to grab his phone. He fumbled with it for a bit to pull up the GPS before pulling out the driveway, carefully.   
  
  
The doorbell of the shop rang as Aziraphale entered and Anathema looked up from the book she was reading with a smile “Oh, it’s you again! How are you and your man adjusting?”   
  
“We’re not together but we’ve finished moving in, thank you for asking.” He smiled politely as he began moving around the shop, looking around.

She eyed him for a bit “Sugar daddy?”   
  
Aziraphale’s blush deepened “No, we’re um… roommates. It’s the two of us and our friend Newt.”   
  
“Oh.” Was all she said, turning back to her book with a smirk. Aziraphale felt a knot in his stomach but ignored it.   
  
“He’s single.” He blurted out.   
  
She eyed him for a moment before her face morphed into a grin “Oh? Good.” She sat down her book “I hope this isn’t weird but do you want to go out for coffee?”    
  
“Oh- Oh! That would be absolutely lovely!” He held the door open for her as they exited the shop.   
  
“It’s a fifteen-minute walk. I normally take my bike but it would be rude to do that when my companion is walking by himself.”   
  
“We can ride in my car. I promise I’m a safe driver.” He gestured at the beetle and blushed as the woman made a noise of delight.   
  
“Your car is so cute, just like you!” She smiled genuinely and Aziraphale felt the knot in his stomach loosen a bit.   
  
“Oh, thank you!”   
  
He grabbed his phone out of the passenger seat as she got in and opened it to pull up his GPS. 

She glanced at where he was fumbling with navigating his apps and laughed “I can just give you directions, Ezra.”   
  


The cafe was a cozy little building at the other end of town and smelled absolutely heavenly. They ordered their food and Aziraphale insisted on paying before they sat down to wait for their drinks and pastries.   
  
“So, where are you from?”   
  
“London. Soho.” He answered, honestly. That was safe. A lot of people live in Soho.   
  
“I’ve always wanted to go to the UK but mostly to explore the countryside. I’m from Miami, Florida.”   
  
“Oh, that’s quite the move!” He commented.   
  
“Florida didn’t fit my aesthetic.” She quipped, causing the blond to laugh as the barista called out their names. 

Their conversation turned to classic literature from there and they found themselves talking for a solid two hours, it feeling only like minutes. Azirphale glanced at the clock and laughed “Oh, dear. We’ve got carried away. Will your boss be angry?” He asked the last question with a frown.   
  
“I’m my boss so I think she’ll live.” She winked, standing up “We’re being a nuisance to this poor cafe though.”   
  
“Want to come to my house?” He blurted, then blushed at her shocked expression “Oh dear, that was strange wasn’t it?”   
  
“No! No, I’d love to come to hang out with you!” She smiled enthusiastically as they left a generous tip “It’d be interesting to see where the mysterious couple lives with their pet lizard.”   
  
“His name is Newton and he’s a human.” Aziraphale laughed.   
  


  
  


They walked through the front door as Crowley was walking out the kitchen, he paused when he saw Anathema “I erm- didn’t know you were going to bring guests over.”   
  
“We’re going to watch some Audrey Hepburn films.” Aziraphale smiled enthusiastically “You remember Anathema, right?”   
  
Crowley looked blankly at her “Yeah sure.”   
  
“She’s the girl at the shop we both agreed was incredibly gorgeous.” He hedged, shooting Crowley a look.   
  
Crowley ignored it “You said she was incredibly gorgeous. I said she was pretty.” He stepped to Aziraphale and ducked his head for a quick kiss “I’m going to be working from home tonight so please stay clear of my office.” He headed up the stairs without another word.   
  
Anathema laughed “Single, huh?”   
  
“He just does that.” He told her as they walked into the living room where Newt was lounging on the couch playing a game “Just have a seat. I’ll grab us some wine and snacks for our movie and we can watch it in my bedroom.” He paused “Wait, do you drink? I could get us tea instead?”   
  
“I drink. Wine sounds great. I prefer white wines if you have any.”   
  
“Oh, you have taste. I like it.” He quipped with a laugh as he headed to the kitchen.

When he came back, Anathema and Newt were having a conversation about the game he was playing “I just think it’s hilarious that you could be wearing full armor made of dragon bones, that you have to kill dragons to get and a farm boy insists that his farmer dad could kick your arse.” Newt was saying as his character was roaming through a village.   
  
“Okay, but did you actually read the books in the game?” She asked, grinning.   
  
“Ah yes. I’m a fan of literature. The Lusty Argonian Maid is a masterpiece.” He winked at her, causing her to laugh.

Aziraphale had no idea what the hell they were talking about “I’ve got our wine and snacks. Newt, do you care to join us?”   
  
Newt saved his game “Sure. Did you ask Aj?”   
  
“He said he’s working in his office tonight.” The blond groused.   
  
“Awe, do you feel neglected?” He poked him in the cheek as the three of them headed up the stairs.   
  
Aziraphale opened his bedroom door and Anathema walked through ahead of them. Newt turned to Azirphale mouthing “She’s so cool!”

“I know right!?” Aziraphale mouthed back. 

Newt froze suddenly “Oh! I have an idea. I’ll be right back.” He headed down the stairs, leaving he and Anathema alone in his room.   
  
She turned to him “I’m going to be honest with you, your roommate is hot.”   
  
“Well, as I said before, he’s single-”   
  
“No, the other one. Is he the lizard?”   
  
Aziraphale felt the knot in his stomach disappear “You think Newt is hot?”   
  
“Yeah. I like nerdy guys.” She said absentmindedly as she moved to look at one of the paintings lining his walls “Besides, I can tell we’re going to be friends and the first and number one rule of friendship is not to go after the person your friend likes.”   
  
“I don’t-” He went to deny, then deflated “Alright, I have a crush but it isn’t serious. We’re just friends.”   
  
“With benefits?” She smirked.   
  
“Yes.” He admitted, blushing “But it’s all quite casual. We’re free to sleep with other people and we have set boundaries we don’t cross.”   
  
“Hey, whatever is best for the two of you.” She smiled, genuinely, as Newt came into the room, carrying a large electronic contraption and a white sheet that Aziraphale recognized as one of Crowleys.   
  
“Newt, did you steal that from Antony?” He asked with a laugh.   
  
“He’ll live, especially if it’s to glam up your room. You know how he is.” He laughed as he began tacking the white sheet over the large window “Besides, he’ll see you with this sad little sheet and he’ll go buy you something better.”   
  
“He needs to quit spending money on me.” He pouted as Newt finished up and moved to set what Aziraphale now realized was a projector up.   
  
“You know that won’t happen.” He plugged his laptop up to the projector “Alright, which movie?”

“How To Steal a Million.” Azirphale answered, pouring two glasses of wine “I’ll go grab an extra glass. I’ll be right back.”   
  
He headed down the stairs to grab an extra glass out of the kitchen and hesitated slightly before grabbing a second one. On the way back he knocked at the office door and Crowley opened it “Hey sweetheart, I told you-”   
  
“Please watch a movie with us?” He held up a glass “I even brought you a glass up for wine.”    
  
Crowley hesitated for a moment before giving Aziraphale a fond look “Fine, I guess work can wait.”   
  


The two of them joined Newt and Anathema who had already set up blankets and pillows as makeshift seating. He laid on the bed and Crowley laid next to him, adjusting so they were facing the screen.    
  
As the movie started up, Azirphale could see Crowley frown in the dim lighting “Is that my sheet?”   
  
He hummed, adjusting so his head was on Crowley’s chest “It was Newt.”   
  
“Snitch!” The accused whisper-shouted from behind them.

“Don’t be a petty thief and no one would snitch on you!” Crowley shot back with mirth.   
  
Aziraphale turned and grinned at his friend before turning his smile to his newest friend “See what I deal with? They’re children.”   
  
Crowley scoffed next to him “We’re older than you.”   
  
The blond pretended to think it over “Oh, yes you’re right. I’m sorry, dear girl, I live with an actual child and a grouchy old man.”   
  
Crowley tickled Aziraphale slightly, causing the blond to giggle and accidentally squirm closer before shrieking “Antony, stop! Audrey’s talking.”   
  
The redhead released him with a soft chuckle as they readjusted to pay attention to the movie.   
  
Neither of them noticed their companions share an exasperated look.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've never watched How To Steal A Million, DO IT. It's my fave Audrey Hepburn movie (Besides Sabrina) and Simon and Nicole have the same energy as Aziraphale and Crowley in this fic lol
> 
> Cute Simon/Nicole edit: https://www.instagram.com/p/BlTvuWyH2SX/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
> 
> They kinda make me want to write an Ineffable Husbands art thieves au lol


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like this monster of a chapter and I snuck in domestic fluff even though I promised absolute filth but ya know, it is what it is.

“Come on, angel. Sit up.”    
  
Aziraphale let the hands on him guide him into a sitting position to tug off his shirt and replace it with a nightshirt “Where ‘nthema?” He mumbled, hearing a soothing noise in response.   
  
“Newt’s driving her home. You fell asleep halfway through ‘Sabrina’ She gave me her number to give to you when you woke up.”    
  
Satisfied, he laid back down as he felt his pants be removed and the covers pulled over him “Good… she thinks he’s hot.”   
  
Crowley chuckled “I could tell.”   
  
“Goodnight, Aziraphale.”   
  
“‘Night dear…” His eyes drifted shut before the door had even closed.   
  
  
  


Aziraphale sat nervously on Crowley’s bed as the redhead grabbed an unmarked bag out of his closet and handed it to him “I got you a gift.”   
  
“I thought I was getting punished.” Aziraphale joked, opening the bag. He froze. Oh.   
  
“You are.” Crowley pointed out “Now, strip.”   
  
Aziraphale set the bag down and stood up, slowly removing his clothes.    
  
Crowley grabbed a pillow and placed it on the floor in front of him “Kneel.” He did as complied, watching Crowley grab the lube off the nightstand and drop it on the floor in front of him “Finger yourself but don’t touch your cock.”   
  
Shaking with anticipation, Aziraphale lubed up his fingers and slipped one in as he looked up at Crowley and let out a small noise. It seemed to be the right thing to do because Crowley ran his hand into his hair gently “You know what you’ve done angel, you’ve disappointed me.”   
  
“I’m sorry sir.” He whimpered, slipping in a second finger as Crowley’s grip on his hair tightened.   
  
“You’re not. But you will be.” He stated simply, pulling his erection out and pumping it “Open your mouth, Aziraphale.”   
  
The blond mad an obscene noise and moved to close his mouth around the other man’s cock only to get slapped lightly in the face “I told you to open your mouth, not to suck my cock you greedy slut.” He paused, eyeing him and relaxing his grip on the blond’s hair “What’s your word?”

“Crepes.”   
  
“Good boy. Use it if I step out of line.” He tightened his grip again and tilted Aziraphale’s head up “I didn’t say you could stop fingering yourself.” The blond’s hand began moving again at the command and Crowley began pumping himself in his fist, aiming his cock at the blond’s mouth “You really put me out for weeks, made me chase you across Europe. I can’t let that go unpunished, can I?”   
  
“No sir.”

Crowley continued pumping into his fist and eventually came on the blond’s face, his mouth catching most of it. Aziraphale whimpered “Anthony-”   
  
“That’s not what you call me.” Crowley corrected gently “Stop touching yourself.”   
  
Aziraphale stopped and sat there, shaking with need “How will you-”   
  
“Fuck you? Oh, angel. I’m not going to fuck you until I feel like it. Lay on the bed on all fours.” He watched as the blond complied before reaching into the unmarked bag and pulling out a small object “You’re going to wear this today and you are not to remove it under any circumstance. Am I understood?”   
  
Aziraphale nodded “Yes sir.”

Crowley gave his arse a slap, gripping the plump flesh with one hand as he inserted the vibrator into Aziraphale with the other. The blond whimpered as it was seated, very deliberately, against his prostate “I know you can come just from this but you’re not allowed today. You will come when I say and only when I say.”

“Yes sir.”   
  
“Now get in the shower.”   
  
Confused, Azirphale stood up “Are you done?”   
  
“No. We have some errands to run today.”

“I don’t suppose I could stay at home?”   
  
“Nope.” Crowley smirked, leaning down to murmur in his ear “That’s a vibrator, not a plug, and I have the remote. I’m going to take what I want from you today and tease you as I wish. You’ll get to come later if you behave yourself.”   
  
“And if I don’t?”   
  
Crowley tilted his head “I don’t think you want the chance to find out.”   
  
Aziraphale moved to walk to the shower, whimpering at the movement inside him, but was stopped by a strong arm circling around his waist and a hand gripping his cock. He bucked into the hand, making needy noises “I’m gonna-” The hand circling him left abruptly, causing him to whimper “Crowley I was about to come.” He turned to face the taller man, pouting.

“I know. Get in the shower and make sure it’s a cold one.” The redhead pinched his cheek teasingly before leaving the room.   
  
Aziraphale blinked, confused, but got in the shower. He supposed Crowley was going to tease him when they got home later before letting him come and he could surely wait for that. What was one small errand?

  
  
  


He was wrong, he realized, as he watched Crowley’s hand move from the gear shift of the Bentley to his pocket and the first vibration started up “Crowley!”   
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll turn it off when we leave the car.” The other man smirked as he turned up the vibration setting before returning his hand to the gear shift “Just sit back and behave yourself.”

He did as he was told and relaxed against the seat, whimpering. He shifted his legs together, desperate for friction, and Crowley noticed “Touch yourself, angel.”   
  
Aziraphale hesitated for a moment before reaching into his pants and gripping himself with a small noise, slowly thrusting against his hand as the toy vibrated inside of him. He realized he liked this. There was something inherently filthy about touching himself while in the car as Crowley watched the road. He felt used but not in a bad way. He whimpered as he got closer to his orgasm “Crowley-”   
  
“Stop.” The other man said calmly, not looking because he knew the blond would comply. Azirphale did as he was told, whimpering at the loss of his hand.   
  
“Good boy.” He murmured as he pulled over and put the car in park at what appeared to be a grocery store.

After washing his hands, Aziraphale left the men’s room and met up with Crowley who looked entirely too smug “You could’ve told me we were going grocery shopping.”   
  
“Where’s the fun in that?” He quipped, pushing their cart in the direction of the dairy aisle “If you want something, feel free to just toss it in the cart.”

Aziraphale walked after him, feeling exposed “Am I walking funny?”   
  
Crowley ignored him “What sort of cheese do you like?” He picked up a pack of American cheese and laughed “Not this, I hope?”   
  
“Gouda. My dear-”   
  
“Yeah, gouda’s good.” Crowley interrupted, grabbing a pack and tossing it into the cart along with several other types of cheese before moving down the aisle “You like yogurt? You seem like a yogurt sort of bloke.”   
  
Aziraphale pouted at him “You’re ignoring my question.”   
  
“You’re ignoring that this is a punishment. Now, do you like yogurt?” Crowley’s lips twitched as he held up what a pack of yogurt that was clearly marketed towards children.   
  
“Funny. I do like yogurt, actually.” He huffed, grabbing a brand he liked and placing it gently into the cart. Crowley tossed the children’s yogurt in after it.   
  
He shrugged at Aziraphale’s questioning look “Newt will definitely eat that. That man is an overgrown child.”   
  
“At least he isn’t grumpy.”   
  
“I’m not grumpy. I’m an incredibly charming person, all my friends have told me so.”   
  
“All two of them?” Aziraphale asked, rolling his eyes.   
  
Crowley paused for a second, apparently catching on that Aziraphale had called the two of them friends. He smiled softly as he picked up a carton of eggs “I apologize, I may have lied a bit. The truth is that one says I’m emotionally constipated while the other says the only good thing about me is my-”   
  
Aziraphale swatted him, blushing “Don’t say that in the grocery store!”   
  
The other man blinked at him, playing innocent “Get your mind out of the gutter, angel. I was just going to say you like my personality.”   
  
“Mhmm, sure you were.” Aziraphale rolled his eyes, walking ahead of the other man. He heard a soft laugh from behind him as his friend followed.   
  
  
  
They loaded the groceries into the car before getting in. As soon as Azirphale sat down, the vibrations started back, much more intense than before. He cried out, glad the parking lot was mostly empty and they were out of earshot from other people. He blushed “Crowley-”   
  
Crowley started the car, not looking at him “Rub yourself through your pants this time.”   
  


The vibrations stopped as they pulled into their driveway and Aziraphale let out a relieved whimper, his overstimulated body slumping against the seat.   
  
Crowley stopped the car but didn’t get out “You will help us put up the groceries and then you will go straight to my room. Am I understood?”   
  
“Yes sir.” Aziraphale gasped out, relieved at the thought of coming soon.   
  
Newt exited the house to help them unload groceries and the three of them moved about in the kitchen, putting everything up.   
  
The brunet man opened the bag with the children’s yogurt “Hell yeah! Strawberry banana!”

Crowley shot Aziraphale a deadpan look, causing the blond to burst out laughing.   
  
Newt looked at them, confused “What?”   
  
“Nothing.” They both told him in unison.   
  
  
Aziraphale took his clothes off once in Crowley’s room, folding them neatly and placing them at the end of the dresser. He then thought to grab the lube and pillow, eager to please the other man. He opened the bedside drawer, immediately finding the lube. He paused as he grabbed it, seeing a small wooden box in the drawer.   
  
He glanced at the door, noting that Crowley wasn’t back yet, and lifted the lid of the box. Inside were pictures of a woman and a younger Crowley as well as several small little objects. He picked up a picture in which the woman was sitting on Crowley’s lap and sticking her tongue out at the camera while Crowley laughed, looking at her with such adoration-” Aziraphale quickly put the picture back and closed the box. That was clearly private. Who was she though?   
  
He grabbed the pillow and placed it on the floor, lost in thought as he kneeled. She looked strangely familiar as if he’d seen her before somewhere. Crowley clearly was in love with her. Was she his girlfriend? Wife? He had said he doesn’t date but that Crowley was different. Younger. More carefree. He was broke out of his thoughts as the door opened and closed behind him.   
  
Crowley made a pleased noise before stroking his hand through Azirphale’s hair “You’ve been so good today, haven’t you?”   
  
“Yes sir, may I come now?” He asked, leaning into Crowley’s touch.   
  
“Get on the bed. Lay on your back.” Crowley said, a glint in his eyes “I’ll give you your orgasm, angel.”   
  
He happily complied, standing up and grabbing the bottle of lube “Thank you, sir.”   
  
“Oh, don’t say that.” There was a mischievous lilt to his voice. Aziraphale barely had time to ponder on it before the vibrator was back at its maximum setting and Crowley’s mouth was on his cock. He came in an embarrassingly short amount of time and laid there, whimpering “Crowley-”   
  
“The vibrator is staying on, angel.”    
  
“It’s too much-” He whimpered, shaking with overstimulation.    
  
Crowley’s response was to lube a finger and slip it inside him, alongside the vibrator and push it firmly down onto his prostate. Aziraphale screamed before dissolving into a babbling mess.   
  
“Do you want to use your word?” He asked, letting up on the pressure of the vibrator against his g-spot.   
  
“Nononononono!” he babbled, shaking as he felt himself stiffen again. Crowley licked a wet stripe up the underside of his cock before pushing down again, causing Aziraphale to sob and buck his hips against the other man’s hand “Please-”   
  
“Not yet.” The other man responded calmly “I’m not done with you.”   
  
“I can’t-”   
  
“You can.” He said, inserting a second finger and wiggling the vibrator around inside the blond “You can be such a good boy when you set your mind to it. Now be a good boy and please me.”   
  
Aziraphale hardly knew how he could be pleasing Crowley when the other man hadn’t so much as taken his clothes off or touched himself but he complied anyway. Crowley suddenly removed his fingers and walked away. Aziraphale got up, confused and still shaking “Anthony?”   
  
“Crowley. Now, hold your hands to the headboard.” He responded easily, waiting for Azirphale to do as he was told before cuffing him to the headboard. He tested the restraints and eyed the blond “Word?”   
  
The blond shook his head and Crowley stepped back and turned the vibrator down to a lower setting. Aziraphale’s body sagged in relief.   
  
Crowley walked to the end of the bed, within Aziraphale’s line of vision, and began deftly taking off his clothes. Aziraphale watched as more of his lover’s skin was revealed, every tattoo and scar and lean corded muscle. He whimpered “Crowley-”   
  
“You’ll get to come again, angel. You’ll come as many times as I want you to, won’t you?” He asked rhetorically as he crawled up on the bed until he was straddling the blond. 

Aziraphale bucked up against him and Crowley let him “Needy slut, you always want my cock in you so bad, you’d do anything to get it.” As he spoke he grabbed the lube and spread more on his fingers before moving them down to insert into himself with a low groan. Aziraphale gaped at him, his cheeks flushing with want as the redhead worked himself on his fingers “I bet you haven’t put your cock in someone else in a long time, have you?”   
  
Aziraphale, who had never even felt the urge to top, suddenly wondered what it’d be like to sink inside of Crowley, feel that tight heat around him. He whimpered, bucking upwards and causing the redhead to laugh as he pulled his fingers out “Beg.”   
  
“Please, Crowley-” He whimpered, feeling tears prick his eyes “Please fuck yourself on my cock-”   
  


Crowley smirked at him and sunk down on him in one smooth motion, causing the blond to cry out. The redhead gripped his throat, pressing down on the sides and being careful not to crush his windpipe, as he began bouncing and making low noises.   
  
Aziraphale knew he wasn’t going to last long “Crowley-” He gasped out, wanting the other man to go slower. Crowley deliberately began riding him faster, clenching around him, clearly trying to make the blond come faster than he wanted.   
  
“Don’t worry, I won’t come yet. I’ll fuck you so good later if you keep behaving for me.”

“I won’t be able to-”   
  
“Yes, you will. I had to run after you four times. You owe me four orgasms.” He clenched around Aziraphale and watched in fascination as Azirphale came with a shout.   
  
The blond sagged against the bed, panting and shaking “I can’t- I can’t-”   
  
“Then use your word,” Crowley responded calmly.   
  
“I don’t want to.” He whimpered “I want to be good.”   
  
“Then you’ll come for me two more times.” Crowley responded, still calm, before getting up and letting the blond’s now soft cock slip out of him. Aziraphale watched as a bit of his own spend dripped out of his lover and felt his cock twitch again, though he knew it would take a while to coax back to hardness if it could be done at all.   
  
Crowley wordlessly laid next to him and kissed him, filthy and full of tongue, as he ran his hands down the blond’s body in slow and sensuous motions.

They pulled apart and made eye contact, both their pupils blown wide with lust. Aziraphale shifted his thighs and moved the vibrator, causing his eyes to flutter closed, breaking the moment.

Crowley made soothing noises and moved his hand down the blond’s body, palm flat. He trailed his hand over the blond’s soft cock before gently brushing his fingers over the blond’s hole, causing him to jump slightly “Since you’ve behaved so well you get a choice. You can either keep the vibrator in and I make you come with my hands and mouth or I take the vibrator out but I will be fucking your through both your orgasms.”   
  
Aziraphale licked his lips, deciding quickly “Please, fuck me.”   
  
The redhead kissed his thigh as he turned the vibrator off and pulled it out. Azirphale sighed in relief but it was short-lived as he felt Crowley’s tongue lapping over his hole before plunging in. He arched his back, pulling on his restraints “Crowley!”   
  
The man didn’t respond except for the hike Aziraphale’s thighs over his shoulders and lift him slightly for better access as he worked his tongue in and around him before finally pulling away and adjusting his position so that his cock was aligned and Azirphale’s legs were still on his shoulders. He slicked his cock and plunged in, all the way to the hilt, causing the blond to scream as Crowley started a vicious pace, deliberately pressing against his prostate with every brutal thrust.    
  
The blond didn’t even notice he was hard again, he didn’t even feel connected to his body except for the feel of his lover inside him, dominating him. He distantly knew he was becoming a babbling mess but he could hardly care as he floated in the euphoria he felt at that moment. He felt his body clench and shudder, feeling electricity shoot up his spine as he sobbed and babbled.   
  
Crowley slowed his pace to a steady rock, running his hand through Azirphale’s sweaty curls while he used the other to brace himself up over the blond “You’re doing so good, Aziraphale. You’re such a good boy, so perfect for me. Just one more. Okay?”   
  
Aziraphale wanted to respond but felt his tongue couldn’t work out anything beyond a desperate mewling noise as he leaned into the touch. He heard metal clinking and felt his arms be rubbed and moved to wrap around Crowley’s shoulders as the pace began to pick up again.   
  
The blond just clung to his lover and lost himself to the sensations as Crowley’s thrusts became more and more brutal until he felt his body clench and shudder in orgasm but he didn’t ejaculate. He felt heat pool inside him at his lover’s release and felt soothing hands on him and whispered praises he couldn’t quite understand.   
  


He came to and found himself sitting in the bathtub. Crowley was sitting on the edge of the tub and making soothing noises as he ran a sponge down his back. He seemed to noticed Aziraphale was more alert because his motions stopped “How are you feeling?”   
  
“Good. A bit tired… what happened?”   
  
“You went into subspace.” Crowley responded as he resumed his ministrations “You were beautiful.”   
  
He made a mental note to look up what that meant as he leaned into the sponge with a sigh “Four times.”   
  
“I told you.” Crowley smirked, leaning down to give him a quick kiss before rinsing him off and pulling the drain in the tub “Here, let me help you to bed. Your legs may be a bit shaky after all of that.”

Crowley helped Aziraphale into his own bed and pulled the blanket over the blond’s shoulder as the blond began to drift off “Did I please you?”   
  
“Of course, angel. You always do.” The older man responded softly, brushing a curl back from his forehead absentmindedly “Goodnight.”   
  
“Mmm, goodnight.” He murmured, happily sinking down into the warmth of his bed.   
  
Crowley closed the door quietly behind him before sinking to the floor, his back against the door. He was getting too close, he knew, but he found he couldn’t stop or back away. Not now. Not after seeing Aziraphale with his face contorted in pleasure, the way his body reacts to the smallest of touches, hearing the way he sounds when touched in different ways. Aziraphale’s body was a constellation of thousands of tiny points of light, that connect in some beautiful way that Crowley’s hands twitched to map and connect. That his hands twitched to paint.   
  
He stood up reluctantly and headed to his own bed, knowing he was far too deep into this particular rabbit hole to ever dig his way out. He opened his nightstand draw and pulled a picture out of the wooden box “What would you say in this situation, Rachel?” He smiled to himself as he touched the corner of the picture she was in “You’d probably join Newt in his matchmaking crusade, tell me that you could forgive it if he was what made me happy.” His face morphed into a pained frown “What am I thinking? You wouldn’t say anything. Couldn’t say anything. You’re dead.” He quickly put the picture back into the box and slammed his nightstand drawer closed, rolling over and attempting to sleep.

  
“You’d forgive it? Who am I kidding? I don’t get forgiven for anything. Not ever.” He whispered into the silence of the room, his voice pained and ragged with held back tears as he buried his face into his pillow, feeling shame curdle his stomach when the lingering smell of Aziraphale gave him some relief. He didn't deserve this.    


He didn't deserve this.  


He didn't deserve this.

He didn't deserve this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crowley's tragic backstory has entered the chat. :(


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new challenger approaches >:) and Crowley is an angsty boi (for unrelated reasons. He doesn't get jealous, thank you.)
> 
> CW: Really bad hallucinations/nightmares and blood

Aziraphale was in the kitchen feeling relaxed and happy, wearing an oversized band tee he had stolen from Newt earlier that week and a pair of boxers as he made Japanese fluffy pancakes as a surprise for his roommates. 

Newt entered the kitchen first and grinned brightly when he saw what Azirpahale was cooking “I’ve always wanted to try those! Thank you, you absolute fucking angel!” He mock-frowned and poked Aziraphale’s side “Wait- That shirt looks familiar.”  
  
Aziraphale blinked innocently “I have no idea what you mean…”   
  
“That’s a Skyrim t-shirt.” Newt stated, deadpan.   
  
“So? I listen to Skyrim all the time.” He responded, still playing innocent and fighting back a laugh.   
  
Newt burst out laughing as a new voice piped up “Skyrim is a video game, angel, not a band.”

Aziraphale brightened as his lover entered the kitchen “Crowley! I made you pancakes!”  
  
“I don’t eat breakfast.” Crowley muttered, walking over to the coffee machine and pouring himself a cup. Aziraphale noticed his hands were trembling slightly.   
  
“I made them all special.” He pressed, approaching “Besides, coffee isn’t a healthy alternative to breakfast.” Crowley wasn’t looking at him and jumped slightly when the blond touched his arm. His eyes were dark underneath as if he hadn’t slept “Are you alright, dear?”

Crowley sighed, gently retreating from the blond’s touch “You said you made pancakes?”  
  
“Yes! I made Japanese fluffy pancakes!” He grabbed a plate off the counter that he had already prepared and sat it in front of Crowley as he sat down at the breakfast bar. It had strawberries on top in the form of a heart. Aziraphale’s heart dropped into his stomach as he saw the redhead stiffen and frown before digging into the pancake, not even so much as acknowledging Aziraphale’s presence.   
  
Newt must’ve caught on to Crowley’s strange behavior because he quickly changed the subject “Don’t think I’ve forgotten your thievery!”   
  
“I was borrowing it! I found it while doing laundry and it was so soft!” Aziraphale defended himself, halfheartedly. 

Crowley finished his breakfast and abruptly stood up “I’m going to the local home improvement store to buy things to spruce up the garden. I won’t be back until later.” He left without another word.  
  
“What was his problem?” Aziraphale asked Newt.   
  
Newt frowned, his eyes clouding over “I have an idea but it’s not my business to tell. Why don’t we hang out with Anathema today? We can have a Julie Andrews marathon.”   
  
“Leave The Sound of Music out of it and make sure to include The Princess Diaries and we have a deal.” Aziraphale quipped, his smile not reaching his eyes.   
  


By the time Crowley came home, the three of them were starting up the first Princess Diaries movie, having finished Mary Poppins. He paused at the sight of them and Aziraphale walked over to him, smiling “Want to join? We’re watching Julie Andrews movies.”  
  
“I- I can’t right now.” Crowley muttered, still not looking at him “I just like Mary Poppins anyways.”   
  
“Come on…” He hedged, playfully grabbing the redhead’s arm “We can-”   
  
Crowley snatched his hand away suddenly, snapping “I have work. I know you like being able to live safely and happily but I have to work to pay for that. I can't distract myself with frivolous things.”   
  
Aziraphale was confused by his outburst “What-”   
  
“I need to go.” Crowley interrupted, heading upstairs.

Anathema and Newt were both staring and Newt sighed “Leave it, he’s grouchy this time of year.”  
  
Aziraphale sat down next to them and they started up the movie, not that the blond could pay attention.   
  
  
Later that night, there was a knock on his bedroom door and Crowley entered, his eyes even darker underneath “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”   
  
“I’m not angry, I’m just confused.” He murmured, setting down his book as Crowley sat on the end of the bed “You can tell me if something’s bothering you.”   
  
A bitter, shaky laugh “I really can’t but thank you for the offer.” Crowley paused, biting his lip “I like you, Aziraphale, I do, but we need to talk about this.”   
  
“I know.” He assured, feeling his heart lurch “We aren’t a thing. We can sleep with other people and the sex has no strings attached.”   
  
Crowley relaxed slightly but was frowning “Yes, right. I just wanted to be sure we were on the same page. I don’t want to hurt you by accidentally allowing you to think we are something more than what we are.”   
  
“You barely go a day without reminding me.” He responded, biting his lip at the bitterness in his voice.   
  
“Aziraphale, this isn’t just for me. I can assure you that whatever crush or infatuation you have with me will fade as soon as you meet a guy your own age when you go to that college.”   
  
“You think I’m infatuated with you!?” Aziraphale asked, feeling his hackles rising.   
  
“You made me pancakes with a fucking heart on them, so yes, you’re infatuated with me. Just because I know how to fuck you doesn’t mean I’m the kind of person you want to get romantically mixed up with.”   
  
“Why not!?” Aziraphale barely noticed he had shouted, “Why would it be so wrong of me to want to be yours!?”

Crowley stood then, and eyed him cooly “If you make the mistake of loving me, you’ll find nothing but death in your path.”  
  
Aziraphale shivered at the other man’s cold stare but leveled him with a glare of his own “Is that what happened to her!?”   
  
“Who?”   
  
“The girl you have pictures of! You lied to me! You told me you didn’t date, that you don’t get attached to people, but you clearly loved her!”   
  
Crowley’s glare darkened and Aziraphale felt a shiver down his spine “You went through my things?”   
  
“I was looking for the lube and I peeked-”   
  
“That was private. It’s not your place to look at my things and it’s definitely not your place to bring her up.”   
  
“Why, because I’m calling you out for being a liar!?”   
  
“How can someone as clever as you be so stupid?.” Crowley asked, his tone cool and bitter “My feelings regarding that woman are none of your business. I haven’t lied to you about where you stand in my life nor where I stand in yours.”   
  
Aziraphale froze in fear as Crowley leaned in, entirely too close “If you know what’s good for you, you will forget those little romantic fantasies you came up with in that pretty head of yours. You’ll forget the pictures you saw of that woman and you will never bring it up again.”   
  
“Or what?” He whispered, nearly hypnotized by the color of Crowley’s eyes when he’s angry.   
  
“Or you’ll die.” Crowley responded, his voice wavering “You’ll die and it will be my fault.”

Aziraphale pushed the book out of reach before leaning forward, his nose brushing against Crowley’s as he made eye contact “If you want me to obey you, then make me.”

Later when Crowley pulled out of him and they lay together, panting, Aziraphale whispered into the otherwise silent room “I won’t love you. I won’t.”  
  
“Good. Don’t.” Was Crowley’s response before standing up and putting on his clothes to head back to his own bed.

Aziraphale sighed to himself, his heart still pounding from the sex. Crowley thought it best for the two of them to not care about each other romantically, to carry on as just friends.  
  
Fine, Aziraphale could play his game and wait. The blond realized something, something Crowley himself seemed to not yet realize.

Smiling to himself, he rolled over to go to sleep.  
  
  
  


They entered the administration building of the college to drop off his paperwork and Aziraphale felt eyes on their small group. He hardly blamed them for staring with the odd trio they made.  
  
Crowley’s perpetual scowl was in place and Newt seemed to shrink under the attention. Aziraphale just ignored both of them as he handed in his paperwork “Would you like a quick tour of the campus?”   
  
Aziraphale grinned broadly at the woman “That sounds absolutely lovely!”   
  
The woman smiled back, obviously charmed “Your accent is so precious! We happen to have another new student and he’ll be joining you on the tour since you’re both here.”   
  
“Tickety boo!” He smiled brightly as the door opened.   
  
Anathema and another guy walked into the office. He was tall with light brown skin, a strong jawline, and a dashing smile. The smile was directed at Anathema as he spoke “I’ve never minded extra company.” The man turned as he spoke, his eyes zeroing in on Aziraphale. There was a skip, a moment of complete silence as the man took in the blond before smiling again, even more charming than the one aimed at Anathema “Hi, I’m Alec.”   
  
Aziraphale smiled back, shaking his hand “I’m Ezra. It’s so nice to meet you. Are you the other new student?”   
  
“Yep, that’d be me.” He was still staring at Aziraphale. The blond glanced at Crowley to see him frowning at a really bland and outdated painting on the wall.   
  
“Well, I hope we could become friends, seeing as how we’re the odd ones out.” Aziraphale said, blushing at the man’s stare and offhandedly noticing he had light green eyes.   
  
Anathema spoke up “He likes books, Ezra. Your friendship is officially locked in.”   
  
“Oh, you’re a book nerd too!?” Alec asked Aziraphale excitedly as the left the office. Their voices trailing off as they got further away.   
  
Newt sighed, watching Crowley’s frown deepen “It doesn’t have to be this way.”   
  
“That guy looked familiar.” Crowley said, leaving the office.   
  
Newt walked after him “You can’t just assume every guy interested in Zira is suspicious either. That’s jealousy talking, not logic.”   
  
“I told him to find an actual boyfriend.” Crowley shot back “I mean, I’ve seen him before. I just can’t remember where.”   
  
“I’m no linguist but he had a southern accent, a strong one. You’re telling me you’ve ran into a guy who’s probably spent most of his life herding cows in the middle of nowhere or something?”

Crowley frowned “Maybe we should leave.”  
  
“No. Not after we just settled in. You’re getting bad again because of that day-”   
  
“Stop. Talking.” Crowley snapped, walking out of the building.   
  
Newt sighed to himself before looking up “He’s a fucking idiot.” 

They had just finished their quick tour of the campus when Alec smiled shyly at Aziraphale “Would you mind if I got your number? You’re really cute and-”  
  
“Oh, I um-” Aziraphale glanced out the glass windows of the building, seeing Crowley in the car, scowling at his phone “I’m sort of seeing someone.”   
  
“Even still, I want your number. We can just be friends, talk about books, and such.” Alec’s smile didn’t waver “If you decided you would rather have a label instead ‘seeing sort of’ then I’ll be happy to oblige.”

Aziraphale smiled “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Your phone?”

“Crowley! Crowley! Crowley!” He wailed, clutching the sheets as his lover didn’t let up his punishing pace.  
  
“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Crowley growled, his hand splayed across the blond’s chest while the other tugged on his lover’s cock.   
  
The climaxed together and Aziraphale rolled over in his arms, the sweat clinging to him “Crowley-”   
  
Crowley kissed him, achingly gentle, before getting up and gathering his clothes “Not too close, angel.”

“Yes sir.”

  
  


They went on like this for the next few weeks leading up to Aziraphale’s first semester at the new college. Crowley would barely look at him and seemed to be afraid to even talk to him. Aziraphale would cherish those few hours each night, when Crowley’s control broke and he held Aziraphale and caressed him like he was precious.   
  
Alec had been texting him every day and Aziraphale had even invited him out with he and Anathema for coffee. Aziraphale learned he’s from southeast Georgia and had moved here to try something new. He had joked it was to escape the bugs but Aziraphale couldn’t imagine a bug so terrible one would fly across the country just to escape them. Americans were a strange bunch.   
  
Alec had been class president at his previous school and had graduated near the top of his class. His dad had been raised in the south on a farm and his mother was from France and had been married for nearly thirty years and Alec had several younger and older siblings. Alec had said he had taken over the family business on his mother’s side but didn’t specify what that business was.   
  
Aziraphale tried not to focus on how Alec was so much more forward than Crowley, actually told him things. The only things Aziraphale truly knew about Crowley was that his best friend is Newt, there was a mysterious woman at one point- their relationship unclear, and his favorite show is Golden Girls.   
  
It shouldn’t be enough information to fall in love with someone and yet…   
  
No. No. That’s dreadful business he was most definitely not going to think about.   
  
He had promised.   
  


Aziraphale carried the unmarked bag into Crowley’s bedroom and quickly changed into the outfit he had picked, a white lacy robe with matching thong. He then spread out the supplies he had bought with a blush and sat at the end of Crowley’s bed, trying to look as appealing as possible.  
  
Crowley came home a few minutes later and entered his room, frowning before stopping short “What’s this?” He asked, closing the door behind him and locking it, a smile growing onto his face.

“I’ve noticed you were stressed lately and I want to try to help. Is that alright?” He asked nervously.  
  
“As long as you don’t make me talk, yes.” Crowley replied, tense.   
  
“I won’t.” the blond assured, standing up and crossing the room to tug at his lover’s clothes “Let me please you?”   
  
“You always please me, angel.” Crowley whispered, achingly sincere.   
  
Aziraphale kissed him then, shoving Crowley’s coat off his shoulders before moving trembling fingers to the buttons of his shirt. Crowley moved to help but Aziraphale stopped him “No, I’m taking care of you, remember?”   
  
Crowley just kissed him again and cupped Aziraphale’s arse through his sheer lace robe “You look so fucking good in this.”

The blond dropped to his knees and Crowley ran his hand through his hair gently, tilting his face up “Do I look good from this angle as well?”  
  
“Only when my cock is in that pretty mouth.”   
  
Aziraphale’s voice was a purr as he unbuckled his belt and pulled out his half-hard erection “So lucky for you that I love your cock in my mouth, hmm?”   
  
Crowley made a low noise as the blond took him in his mouth and began bobbing his head, pulling his pants down to his ankles as he worked his tongue over the old man’s shaft. He pulled off with a wet pop “Sir, would you take the rest of your clothes off for me?”   
  
The redhead did as he was asked and Aziraphale guided him to the bed and onto his back, straddling him with his thick thighs “Hold your hands up please?”   
  
Crowley held his hands up to the headboard, growling playfully as Aziraphale cuffed him “You’re not robbing me this time, are you?”   
  
“I’m taking what I want, yes.” Aziraphale responded, leaning down and kissing him, pulling on his lower lip with his teeth “I’m going to take every last drop of what I want.”   
  
“Fuck.” Crowley bucked against the blond, desperate for friction but Aziraphale seemed unbothered as he roamed his hands along Crowley’s tensed arms.

“Have I told you how sexy I find your body? When I touch myself, I sometimes think about just touching you or licking your tattoos, feeling your muscles jump and twitch under my fingers or tongue.” The blond murmured, his pupils dilated and sparkling as he dragged his hands down Crowley’s chest to his nipples, giving them a light pinch and making the redhead jump with a low whine “You always go on about the noises I make but you make pretty noises too. I could get off to the noise you make when you come, even without you touching me.”  
  
Crowley was a goner. His face was flushed and his eyes blazed with desire “You touched yourself to the thought of me?”   
  
“Often, yes.” Aziraphale responded “The first time was after your fucked me in the alley. I thought about all the filthy things you said to me. I know you were trying to be a prick but here’s a secret. I don’t mind being called a slut or a cock whore if it’s by you.” He purred, trailing his hands over the sides of Crowley’s hips before moving to his groin, his fingers ghosting over the tip of his lover’s weeping member, teasing “You’ve awakened some insatiable beast in me that no other man can feed.”   
  
He removed his hands and sat up, making sure could see as he pulled the plug out of himself “I bought some toys to play with while I waited on you. I even bought some flavored lube.”   
  
“What did you think about?” Crowley asked, visibly tensing against his restraints, wanting to touch his angel.   
  
“Open your mouth, dear.” Aziraphale responded instead of answering, blushing as Crowley complied. He brushed the plug against his lover’s tongue before putting it to the side and grabbing the lube, blushing “Sorry I-”   
  
“Aziraphale, I’ll let you know if I”m not into something.” Crowley responded softly. He rubbed his hard erection against Aziraphale suggestively “I’m enjoying this, sweetheart, I promise.”   
  
“I want to ride you and you’re not to come until I’m done.” Aziraphale whispered, trembling as he spread lube over his lover’s cock “I’ll take what I want.”   
  
“Take it, angel.” Crowley groaned as Aziraphale pulled his thong to the side and sat down on his cock.   
  
The blond fell forward, shaking, as he kissed the other man, tasting the bubblegum flavored lube on his tongue. He sat up and braced his hands on Crowley’s chest as he bounced and rode him at a brisk pace.

After a while, Aziraphale felt himself approaching his climax and grabbed the key to the handcuffs off the bedside table and leaned forward to uncuff Crowley from the headboard “Please-”  
  
Before the word had left his mouth, Crowley had flipped them over and was thrusting into him with wild abandon, growling praises in his ear as the two of them came.   
  
Crowley pulled back slightly, panting and brushing Aziraphale’s hair from his face “Fuck, that was amazing. You’re amazing.”   
  
Aziraphale smiled, his eyes half-lidded from pleasure, as he nuzzled against Crowley’s palm “I like this better, your hands on me.” He placed a small kiss to his palm “I love your hands…”   
  
Crowley froze, his smile disappearing. Aziraphale tensed, confused “Crowley?”   
  
The other man didn’t respond for a long moment before he blinked, as if coming back into focus “Sorry angel, I was just forgetting myself.” His grin came back “Now, let me reward you for being such a good boy for me, hmm?”

  
Crowley pulled back from Aziraphale, panting “I loved this. I love you.”   
  
Aziraphale kissed his palm “I love you too, darling.” He smiled softly, the smile he always gives Crowley after a particularly good shag, and Crowley felt his heart seize up as Aziraphale’s face turned and blood was smeared across his cheek. Blood from Crowley’s hands.   
  
The older man sat up, worried, and Azirphale just laid there, his white robe and creamy skin covered in bloody handprints where Crowley had touched him, his blue eyes open and staring at the ceiling, unseeing. Crowley realized with growing horror that he was dead as familiar arms draped over him from behind.   
  
He panted heavily, trying to look away, but a feminine hand dug into his jaw and snatched him back to face Aziraphale’s limp body, her nails cutting into his skin “He’s dead. He’s dead because of you and you deserve it. You deserve to suffer for forgetting about me. For loving him more than you loved me.”   
  
“No. No. No. This isn’t real. You aren’t real.” He tried, to no avail. The dream didn’t waver and Aziraphale still lay there dead, Rachel still gripped him from behind.   
  
“I was real Crowley. I was real until I was murdered. You are the reason I’m dead.”   
  
“I didn’t-”   
  
“You killed me, Anthony.” She sneered and let go. He stumbled back and ran to the bathroom, sobbing as he tried to wash his hands.   
  
“Crowley? Crowley! Calm down!” He heard Aziraphale’s voice shout and he panicked.   
  
“No! Go away! You can’t see this- you’re dead and your blood-” He broke off with a sob as he clawed into his hand under the running water, the blood not washing off “It won’t- It won’t go away-”   
  
Rachel’s arms circled around his waist once again and he frantically shoved her away, jolting to reality when he heard a crash and a yelp of pain that was unmistakably Aziraphale’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop-


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad for the cliffhanger and decided to update lol 
> 
> Prepare for more angst because Crowley is still being an idiot
> 
> Also CW because Aziraphale and Alec hook up (not graphic, just implied) and Crowley nearly hooks up with someone but I PROMISE that's basically where it ends, literally no one will be stressing it and it will not cause relationship angst in the future

“Crowley, I’m fine.” Aziraphale winced as Crowley plucked another shard of glass out of his arm with tweezers and tossed it onto the bloody napkin sitting next to Aziraphale on the counter.   
  
“You’re not.” Crowley responded, frowning.   
  
“You were having a night terror, it wasn’t your fault.” Another shard was plucked from his arm and thrown onto the napkin.   
  
“No, it is his fault because instead of communicating like a grown-ass adult he keeps things bottled up until he bubbles over!” Newt snapped from where he leaned in the corner of the kitchen.   
  
“He’s right.” Crowley mumbled, finally plucking the last of the glass out of Aziraphale’s arm before sanitizing the needle and thread to sew up the gash.   
  
“Then talk to me.” Aziraphale whispered, tearing up when Crowley refused to look him in the eye “Why is it so hard for you to talk to me?”   
  
“Today-” He glanced at the clock, seeing it was well after four in the morning “Well, yesterday, was her birthday. I spent her birthday fucking you.” He laughed bitterly, turning to Newt “I caused your sister to die then spent her birthday fucking a guy and not thinking about her.”   
  
Newt pinched the bridge of his nose “It’s been ten years, Crowley.”   
  
“Ten years of her being dead and it being my fault.” Crowley shot back as he began sewing Aziraphale up.   
  
Aziraphale just gaped at them “That girl was Newt’s sister!?”   
  
Newt smiled at him, a sad bittersweet smile “Yeah, Rachel. She passed almost a decade ago. I’ve come to terms with it, don’t worry.” He leveled a sharp look at Crowley “Some people, however, have a complex over things they can’t control.”   
  
“I killed her.”   
  
“I’m not talking about this at four in the fucking morning.” Newt snapped “Focus on making sure Aziraphale doesn’t scar and maybe do a bit of groveling and I don’t know… maybe fucking communicate!”   
  
After the left, the kitchen lapsed into silence. Aziraphale broke it “I’ve never seen Newt angry before.”   
  
“He won’t get like that with you, don’t worry. I can’t imagine anyone ever being angry with you.” Crowley responded absentmindedly, focusing on patching Aziraphale up.   
  
There was another pause “I’m sorry. I know sorry doesn’t begin to even to cover how badly I’ve fucked up-”   
  
“Crowley, you were asleep! It wasn’t like you hit me on purpose!” Aziraphale cut him off “My ex hit me on purpose and when he apologized he just-”   
  
“Raph hit you!?” Crowley’s eyes were blazing with anger “When!?”   
  
“When I confronted him about him fucking my best friend. Calm down. It barely even left a bruise. What I meant was-”   
  
“Do you make it a habit of excusing men who treat you badly?” Crowley asked, his eyes brewing with rage despite his calm voice. He tilted his chin at the wound on Aziraphale’s arm “Because I am literally sewing you up after fucking shoving you into a mirror and you’re making excuses. I treat you like shit and you make excuses. Raph cheated on you, apparently hit you, and you make excuses. Why?”   
  


Aziraphale felt tears prick his eyes “You don’t treat me badly.”   
  
“I do. You and I both know it. Newt knows it. Anathema has probably noticed.” He finished off sewing Azirphale’s wound closed and began dabbing it with antiseptic, looking apologetic at Aziraphale’s pained whimper.   
  
“You don’t.” Aziraphale insisted “You’re rough around the edges but deep down I know you’re good-”   
  
“I killed someone.” Crowley said suddenly, his voice too loud for the silent room “I killed someone and it wasn’t because of my job. I killed him because he made me angry and I could. Would a good person do that?”   
  
Aziraphale stayed silent and Crowley continued “I stabbed him twenty-nine times. The first stab killed him, I just kept going. Those hands you told me you loved earlier, stabbed someone nearly thirty times and didn’t feel a pinch of remorse for it.”   
  
“What did he do? To make you angry?” Aziraphale asked, watching as Crowley bandaged his arm.   
  
“He killed her.” Crowley shrugged, finishing up the bandage.   
  
“You murdered someone who murdered your friend and you think that makes you some sort of monster!?”

“Yes, it does. He was the first person I killed but he wasn’t the last.”

Aziraphale huffed as Crowley put the medical kit up into the cabinet “Forgive me for being so rude but that has got to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”   
  
“Excuse me!?”   
  
“You heard me. Besides, I hardly see why someone murdering her is your fault.”   
  
“She left him for me.” Crowley stated “He was abusing her and I convinced her to leave. To be with me. He followed her after she got off work and-” He broke off “I don’t even know why I’m talking about this.”   
  
“Because you need to!” Aziraphale gestured at his arm “So this doesn’t happen again.”   
  
“Talking about my feelings won’t cure me.” Crowley responded bitterly.   
  
“No, but maybe they’ll make you have feelings like a normal person instead of bottling everything up until you have night terrors.”   
  
“You think I don’t have feelings!?”   
  
“You do. You’re just too much of a coward to show them.” Aziraphale responded, unflinching when Crowley angrily stalked towards him and braced his hands on the counter next to Aziraphale’s thighs, trapping him in.   
  
“When I show my feelings, it won’t be good for any of us.”   
  
“No, it would be good and that’s what you’re afraid of. You’re afraid she’ll be angry with you if you’re happy.”   
  
“Stop.”   
  
“You think she won’t forgive you if she knew that you lo-”   
  
“I SAID STOP!” Crowley shouted, causing Aziraphale to flinch at the noise.   
  
Crowley calmed down and backed away “Don’t ever fucking say that again, do you understand me!?”   
  
“It’s the truth.”   
  
“Don’t.” Crowley was shaking, leaning against the opposite counter.

“What are you so afraid of then!?”

“No, no. We are not talking about me. What about you!? You never answered my question earlier! What causes it!? Daddy issues?”   
  
“You’re being cruel.” Aziraphale told him calmly.   
  
“No, I’m being truthful. You base your self worth on whether or not men desire you. You only think you have feelings for me because I buy you things and make you feel wanted.”   
  
“It has nothing to do with your money and you know it.”

“Oh, so it’s JUST your desire to feel wanted!?” He laughed, a jagged and pitiful sound “Well, congratulations. I do want you, Aziraphale. The man with the most deep-rooted psychological issues you know wants you, the boy with low self-esteem and daddy issues. Match made in heaven.”   
  
“You don’t mean that.”   
  
“You’re right, I don’t. The only thing I’ve ever wanted about you is your cunt.” Crowley’s face might as well have been made of stone.   
  
Aziraphale worldlessly stood up and moved to the doorway of the kitchen, pausing on the way out “You’re good, deep down, Anthony. I’m sorry that you can’t see it but I do. You say your hands killed someone but they also made those beautiful paintings I hung in my room. They've held me so gently I've cried. You can’t tell me I can’t love you. I know you can’t because I do love you. I’ve loved you since Italy.”   
  
Crowley stayed silent as he walked away. Collapsing onto the floor, sobbing when he heard the blond’s bedroom door close.

  
  


Breakfast the next morning was tense and silent. Crowley placed his coffee mug in the dishwasher “I’m going back to London for a while.”   
  
“So you’re running?” Aziraphale asked bitterly “I’m not- I’m not doing this.” He moved to leave.

“Where are you going?” Crowley called after him.   
  
“Alec invited me for coffee. Have a nice fucking trip.” Aziraphale didn’t look at him as he stormed off.   
  
Newt sighed “What the hell did you say to him last night?”   
  
“It’s better this way.” Crowley responded with a sigh.   
  
“For him or for you?” Newt asked “Because as far as I can tell, Aziraphale has seen what a dick you can be and still cares about you and continues to choose you over Mr. Perfect Bookworm that invites him out for coffee when he’s upset.”   
  
“Mr. Perfect Bookworm is better for him than Mr. Psychotic Spy and we both know it. Deep down, he knows it.”   
  
“What job are you taking in London?”   
  
“Just a small one to clear my head.”   
  
“You want to talk about your nightmare?” Newt asked, his friend’s tense silence was answer enough “Alright, don’t. Just- Just please think about what you need to do to make things right with both yourself and Aziraphale. No one can be alone forever.”   
  
“I’m not alone. I have you.” Crowley offered him a weak smile.   
  
Newt smiled back, weakly “I know. But that’s different and one day I won’t be enough to keep you happy.”   
  
“I haven’t been happy in ten years.” Crowley responded, thinking to all those little moments he’s had with Aziraphale where he felt light and carefree and forgot everything except the blond. It was a lie. He’d been happy and that was the problem.

  
  
  


“Wow, no offense but you look terrible! What happened?” Alec asked as Aziraphale sat across from him at the coffee shop.   
  
Aziraphale tugged absentmindedly on his sweater “Oh, nothing. Just stayed up late reading.”   
  
Alec tilted his head and rested it on his fist, grinning “I bet you do that often, just lose yourself in a book and read through the night.”   
  
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Aziraphale asked, blushing.   
  
“No reason, I just think it’s cute.” Alec responded easily, his grin never fading “Just like everything else about you.”   
  
“I’m not that cute.” Aziraphale muttered into his cocoa.   
  
“You are, though. You’re also incredibly witty and your sense of humor is this weird blend of sharp and dry that never fails to make me laugh.” Alec shrugged and drank his iced coffee, his green eyes glittering as he eyed the blond.   
  
“You’re a shameless flirt.” Aziraphale chided.   
  
“Just with you, I promise.” Alec winked, causing Aziraphale to laugh.   
  
“I’m still seeing someone.” Aziraphale pointed out “I love him very much, even if he’s a colossal idiot.”   
  
“Yes but you’re open aren’t you?” Alec pointed out “He sleeps with other people. You can too.”   
  
“I don’t think he sleeps with other people.” Aziraphale muttered.   
  
“Then why won’t he commit to you?” Alec asked pointedly “I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to make a pass but as your friend, I don’t think you should waste your energy on a guy that doesn’t want anything more with you.”   
  
“He’s troubled is all.” Aziraphale said, not sounding very convincing.   
  
“How about me, you, and Anathema go to a few parties? Meet some guys and forget all about Mr. Moody.”   
  
“His name is Antony.” Aziraphale chided, laughing “Alright. I’ll text Anathema to see if she’s interested.”   
  
They finished up their coffee and exited the shop to walk to their cars. Alec stopped Aziraphale with a light hand on his wrist, pulling him in and kissing him on the cheek. He backed away with a grin “I’m allowed to do that, right?”   
  
“I suppose I can allow it. Anathema kisses me on-” He broke off as he saw a familiar Bentley drove by.    
  
“Oops, didn’t notice your boyfriend driving by.” Alec said, not sounding very apologetic.   
  
“He’s not my boyfriend.” Aziraphale murmured, watching Crowley drive by without so much as glancing at him.   
  


  
  


Three days later, Crowley had completed his job and was sulking in the Mayfaire flat, feeling pent up. One of the people he was assigned to kill had fought back and he walked away from the fight with a scattering of bruises along his chest and a gash on his palm he had halfheartedly bandaged up.

With a growl he went and changed his clothes and grabbed the keys to his rental (he had left the Bentley in California) to leave.   
  
The bar was crowded and Crowley distantly noted it was a Saturday night as he looked about for something to take the edge off, pushing a vision of baby blue eyes and blond curls from his mind as he ordered a drink. He saw a girl a few seats down from him, looking at him. She was clearly shy but was curvy and had curly blonde hair. That would do.   
  
He shoved her against the wall of the hotel room, kissing her breathless while unbuttoning her blouse. She sucked a mark onto his neck and he murmured praises.

Baby blue eyes danced in his vision, a soft and pliant body shuddering under his touch, the kind of smile that lit up a room, Aziraphale humming to himself as he cooked adorable pancakes- He couldn’t do this.   
  
He backed away from the girl “I’m sorry, this was a mistake.”   
  
“Did I do something wrong?”   
  
“No. I did.” He said, gently helping her right her clothes before leading her to the door, handing her a wad of cash “Here’s money for a cab and then some more for all your troubles.”

After she had gone, Crowley drove back to his flat and laid on his bed, sighing into his hands. He was such an idiot. With trembling hands, he facetimed Aziraphale.   
  
The blond picked up on the second ring, his cute nose scrunched in confusion “Can you see me?”   
  
“Yeah, I can see you, angel. I was just checking on you.” He murmured.   
  
“I had my first week of classes and I’m actually studying right now with Alec and Anathema.” He paused “Well, at least I was. Anathema wandered downstairs to flirt with Newt so now it’s just me and Alec- Say hey, Alec!”   
  
Alec’s stupidly handsome face appeared next to Aziraphale’s on camera, along with an overly cheerful wave “Howdy! How’s London? Lots of tea, I hope?”   
  
“Alec, you drink tea.” Aziraphale pointed out with a laugh.   
  
“I drink iced sweet tea, its much different than whatever the hell y’all are drinking.” He pointed out with a laugh and a wink.   
  
Crowley was suddenly reminded of when he saw Alec kiss Aziraphale on the cheek, how the blond hadn’t pulled away. He felt sick suddenly “Well I don’t want to intrude-”   
  
“Is that a hickey on your neck?” Aziraphale asked him quietly.   
  
Alec made a whooping noise “Oh, get it boy!” It wasn’t helping the situation.    
  
“Uh… yeah. I hooked up with some girl earlier, not a thing. Anyway-”   
  
“I’m sorry, dear. I think I need to get back to studying.” Aziraphale cut him off with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes “I’ll talk to you soon?”   
  
“Yeah… yeah, I’ll be back in town within the next two days.” He said quietly “Goodnight angel.”   
  
“Goodnight Antony!” Alec called.   
  
Aziraphale just hung up.

Crowley facetimed Newt, who answered nearly immediately, his face red “Uh, hi Aj! What’s up?”   
  
“What’s up is my blood pressure. Why is that boy in Aziraphale’s room and where is- Newt… are you and Anathema having sex right now?”   
  
“.... We just finished actually.” Newt answered. Crowley could hear Anathema laugh in the background. He groaned.   
  
“Please- Why would you- NEWTON!”   
  
“I’m sorry!”

“Listen, I’ll be quick. I’m beginning to realize I’m an idiot.”   
  
“Clearly.”   
  
“I want to win him back.” He stated, determined.   
  
Anathema’s face joined Newt’s “He’s not a prize you can win, however, you have the right spirit so I’ll allow it.”   
  
“How can I?”   
  
“Try apologizing, groveling, taking back the rude things you said. While we’re at it, what the fuck happened to his arm? And why did you call him ‘Aziraphale?’”   
  
Newt grimaced “I’ll explain that one after the call, it’s a long story. Aj, you just think about what Aziraphale wants and what you can do to satisfy those wants. If you start on this you can’t suddenly back out.”   
  
“Thank you both. In the meantime, can someone get that horny boy out of Aziraphale’s room!?”   
  
“Alec isn’t horny, he’s flirty.” Anathema shot back, defending her friend “He only sounds horny when he speaks french.”   
  
Crowley froze, realizing where he’d seen Alec “What’s his number? I need to speak to him. Alone.”   
  
  


Crowley pulled up next to the lake in his car and got out, facing Alec “I know who you are.”   
  
“Do you?” Alec asked innocently.   
  
Crowley pointed a gun at him and the man just eyed him, stepping forward until his chest touched the barrel of the gun “If you kill me, your angel will never forgive you.”   
  
“If you hurt him-”   
  
Alec scoffed “I have no intentions to hurt him. My job is to get that jewelry back. I haven’t even told The Agency who has it.”   
  
“Then why are you flirting with him!?”   
  
“You tell me. We’re in the same boat, pal.” Alec responded seriously “I’m actually going to be leaving soon on assignment and I was going to tell him who I was, what I do, ask him if he wanted to come with.”   
  
“He won’t.”   
  
“He won’t leave the guy who won’t commit to him to go with the guy who treats him better and would never look at someone else?”   
  
Crowley lowered his gun “It’s a lie-”   
  
“The only thing I’ve lied to Aziraphale about is about my job, and even that was just a lie by omission.” Alec stated, sizing him up “I have nothing against you, man, I don’t. But I do care for Aziraphale and if he’s willing to let me show that…”   
  
“Then I should let him go and be happy.” Crowley concluded, his confidence in his plan faltering “If he chooses you, no harm will come to him?”   
  
“He’ll always be safe with me.” Alec assured.   
  
Crowley headed back to his car without another word and stared at the steering wheel as the other man left.   
  
After a few minutes, he started the ignition and headed home.   
  


Alec was already there, in the kitchen with Aziraphale as the blond prepared some snacks and drinks. Aziraphale smiled weakly at him “How was your trip?”   
  
“It was alright, angel.” He responded sincerely “I missed you.”   
  
“I missed you too.” Aziraphale answered back before turning to Alec “We should head up so we can finish our homework at a reasonable hour.”   
  
The two men left and Crowley sagged against the counter, jumping at the feel of a hand on his shoulder and a glass of whiskey being handed to him “Thanks Newt… I don’t know what to do. What if he chooses to be with him? I could hardly blame him.”

Newt sighed “I think Aziraphale will never fail to surprise you.”   
  
  
  


A few hours into doing homework, Aziraphale stretched with a slight groan “I swear, those professors are conspiring against us and purposely overloading us.”   
  
“I reckon so.” Alec agreed with a laugh. He turned serious after a moment “About college, I uh-” He seemed to debate something for a moment and then sighed “I have to go back to France with my mother for family reasons and I won’t be able to be back for a while.”   
  
Aziraphale’s face fell “Oh, dear. Well, I’ll miss you.”   
  
“That’s the thing. You can come with me. We can study abroad together and-”   
  
“I’m afraid that won’t be possible.” Aziraphale murmured “It’s sweet that you want me to come with you but-”   
  
“I love you.” Alec told him “I know that you may not believe me but I do.”   
  
Aziraphale stared at him, a flush crawling across his cheeks. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again “Alec- that’s so kind but I’m afraid my heart is spoken for.”   
  
“Could you try? Please?” Alec asked, shifting closer and caressing Aziraphale’s cheek with his palm as he whispered “Let me show you, just this once.”   
  
Aziraphale thought about that hickey on Crowley’s neck and then he looked at Alec’s achingly sincere green eyes. He kissed him.   
  
  
  
About an hour later, Crowley saw Aziraphale and Alec walk to the door out of the corner of his eye. He saw Alec kiss the corner of Aziraphale’s mouth before leaving. Aziraphale walked into the living room and stood there for a few moments, looking at him. Crowley pretended not to notice. He’d heard the sounds coming from Aziraphale’s room and wasn’t prepared for the rejection he knew was coming.   
  
“I’m going to take a shower.” Aziraphale announced suddenly, walking away. Crowley and Newt exchanged confused looks.   
  
A few moments later, Crowley’s phone chimed with a text from Aziraphale.   
  
**Angel <3: He couldn’t satisfy my itch.**   
  
Crowley blinked at the text, confused, before a memory flooded back to him. He had the blond pinned against the wall in his flat ‘I don’t care if someone fucks you. Hell, I’d watch. I’d fuck you afterward if he doesn’t satisfy that itch your hedonistic tendencies made so hard to scratch.’

He stood up “I need to-”   
  
“Please don’t tell me. Just do your thing.” Newt gave him a thumbs-up as Crowley awkwardly left the room.   
  


True to his word, Aziraphale was in the shower. Crowley grabbed a bottle of lube before entering the shower fully clothed and pinning Aziraphale to the wall “You miss me, angel?”   
  
“Yes…” Aziraphale whispered “Please just-”   
  
Crowley turned him around and pinned him against the wall of the shower once again before unbuttoning his trousers and pulling out his cock and slicking it up. He grabbed Aziraphale up by his thighs and hoisted him against the wall of the shower, shoving into him and immediately starting with a viscous, possessive pace “Who do you belong to?” He growled, caught in the moment, golden eyes meeting blue.   
  
He didn’t expect the strangled sob that tore out of the blond. He stopped immediately “Aziraphale?”   
  
“You fucking bastard!” Aziraphale sobbed “You’ve fucking ruined me and I can’t- He loved me and I wanted so badly to be loved but he wasn’t enough.”   
  
“Aziraphale-”   
  
“I thought you did, that maybe you just hid it well, until I saw that hickey where some girl-”   
  
“I didn’t sleep with her.” Crowley cut him off, his grip tightening on Aziraphale’s thighs “I haven’t slept with anyone else since the first night I slept with you. You’re not the only one who’s been ruined.”   
  
Aziraphale blinked confusedly at him before he fully processed what he said, causing a fresh wave of sobs and blubbered apologies. Crowley sighed gently and kissed his wet curls as the love of his life wept on his chest “You have nothing to apologize for, angel. I’m not angry with you and you weren’t obligated to be exclusive to me.”   
  
“It was wrong. I knew, deep down, it wouldn’t work. He’s my friend and I used him.” He sobbed “I just wanted someone to love me. You were right, I’m just a whore with daddy issues.”   
  
“I never said you’re a whore, nor have I ever thought anything of the sort about you. You do have daddy issues but who doesn’t have some sort of parental issues? Except maybe people like Alec but he’s perfect so we can’t really hold anything against him, can we?” He joked lightly, trying to make the blond stop crying. He just cried more.   
  
He pulled out of the blond gently and turned the water of the shower off before stripping off his wet clothes and bundling the both of them up in fluffy bathrobes. He picked Aziraphale up and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it and holding Aziraphale close as he cried. 

“I love you.” He said “I know that it probably doesn’t help anything now but I do. I’m also sorry for all the shit I said. I didn’t mean any of it. I was just trying to hurt you because I figured you’d be better off without me.”    
  
Aziraphale looked up at him, sniffling “What changed?”   
  
“I’m a selfish bastard.” He responded, wiping a stray tear “I can’t promise I’ll be perfect but-”   
  
The blond cut him off with a hug and Crowley realized, belatedly, that he hadn’t been hugged in almost a decade. He awkwardly circled his arms around the blond and held him close as he whispered “You don’t have to be perfect. Just be mine.”

“I’ve always been yours, since the moment I met you.” He answered, choking on a sob as Aziraphale kissed him.   
  
Aziraphale pulled back after a few minutes of kissing and stood up, removing his robe “I wasn’t done with my shower, sir.”   
  
“Shouldn’t we talk more?”   
  
“You said you love me and you’re mine. That’s all I needed to know. I don’t think we should rush into a relationship but I wasn’t lying in my text. I’m- Crowley you really did awaken some beastly thing inside me.”   
  
“Anthony.”   
  
“What?”   
  
“Please, call me Anthony.” He nearly whispered, standing up “Do you want me to wait until after your shower or?”   
  
“If we can reassume what you were doing, it was nice.” Aziraphale requested quietly, blushing “If you don’t want to since I had-”   
  
“Aziraphale, there’s nothing I want more but afterward, we need to talk. Okay?”   
  
“Yes sir.”   
  


Crowley soon had Aziraphale back up against the wall of the shower, water cascading down their bodies as they slid together.   
  
“Who do you belong to?” He asked again.   
  
“I’m yours.” Aziraphale whimpered.   
  
“I’m yours.” Crowley repeated.   
  
“You’re mine.” Aziraphale gasped out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy to announce that there won't be any major relationship angst from here on out and we'll be back to mostly awkward shenanigans :) Crowley is still sad-hours over Rachel but Aziraphale kind of got to him as far as him not being an irredeemably bad person- though he is overprotective of Aziraphale 
> 
> Also, should I do a bonus one-shot of Anathema and Newt's hookup? lol


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone order fluff and defining the relationship???? :)

Aziraphale woke up with a warm and familiar body curled around him and smiled to himself. He and Crowley had slept in the same bed together for the first time.   
  
HIs lover shifted slightly in his sleep, frowning. Aziraphale touched his shoulder and shook him gently and kissed his forehead, watching as the frown on Crowley’s face relaxed with the rest of him.    
  
Not wanting to break the moment, he cuddled up next to the other man to go back to sleep but his plans changed when Crowley stirred awake, giving him a shy sleepy smile “Morning, angel.”   
  
“Good morning, dearest.” He sighed, running his hands through the longer hair on top of Crowley’s head.   
  


Crowley sat up and kissed him deeply before breaking away with a sigh “We need to eat something and then we can talk, okay?”   
  
  
  
  


Newt was already in the kitchen, drinking coffee when they entered. He shot Crowley a look “Did you actually talk this time?”   
  
“Yes, I did. We’re going to talk more too.” Crowley shot back irritably as he made his coffee. Aziraphale opted to just pour himself a bowl of cereal and after some debate, grabbed one of the yogurts they bought for Newt.   
  
Crowley looked amused when he saw the yogurt but said nothing about it “How’s the surveillance coming along?”   
  
Newt sighed “Nothing. They’re both talking about the usual nonsense you would expect a homophobic aristocrat and a promiscuous actor to talk about.”   
  
Aziraphale paused “They’re talking to each other?”   
  
“Yeah… is that unusual? I mean, they did the press conference over your death together too.”   
  
“My father never even met Raph, to my knowledge.” Aziraphale said “Why would they be talking now?”   
  
“That’s sketchy as hell.” Crowley muttered, looking thoughtful “I just wish there was some way we could know more information about the situation.”   
  
“I have journals.” Aziraphale offered “I’ve always kept journals, since I learned to write. I was very detailed too.”   
  
Crowley brightened “Why didn’t you say so before? Do you still have them?”   
  
“Yes… but there’s a problem.”   
  
  
Crowley gaped at the book in his hands “What language is this!?”   
  
“Mine.” Aziraphale answered, blushing “My dad was really nosy and he went through my stuff. I didn’t want him to know I was gay so I began writing in code.” He walked over and pulled a worn journal out “I even wrote a journal about all the things you taught me.”   
  
The other man just gaped at him and Aziraphale blushed “I know, it’s weird. Isn’t it?”   
  
“No, this is honestly incredibly sexy.” Crowley said, turning back to the book “You wrote a survival journal in code? That’s how you did so well?”   
  
“How is this sexy?” Aziraphale asked, laughing.   
  
“You’d be surprised at the things that get me hot and bothered, angel.” Crowley responded with a wink “So do you have a guide or anything?”   
  
“Can Newt read them, not you?” Aziraphale wrung his hands “It’s just- Well this is all terribly embarrassing. I even wrote about my first time masturbating to the thought of a guy.”   
  
“Hot.”   
  
“I was twelve.”   
  
“Not hot.” Crowley laughed “I won’t judge but I want to know who it was. A celebrity?”   
  
“You’ll laugh.”   
  
“Come on!”   
  
“Fine. The tenth doctor.” He muttered, averting his eyes.

Crowley was confused “Doctor who?”   
  
“Yes!” Aziraphale cried, snatching his book back “Don’t make fun of me!”    
  
The blond left the room with the oldest looking journal and Crowley stood there for a moment, confused “Well that was a thing… still don’t know who he was talking about…”   
  
  


Anathema came over while Aziraphale was explaining his code to Newt and tackled the blond into a hug before sitting on his lap, looking over Newt’s shoulder “What’s that?”   
  
“My journal.” Aziraphale answered nervously.   
  
“So mysterious.” She said as Crowley walked into the room “Your name isn’t your actual name, you have coded journals, there aren’t any pictures of the three of you on display anywhere in the house, and Crowley is in his early thirties with exorbitant amounts of money. Who are you guys? James Bond and his companions?”

Crowley stiffened and Aziraphale shot him a look before turning back to his best friend “Um… witness protection?”   
  
“Really? Because I looked you up.” Anathema answered “All three of you. The only one of you who actually exists is Newt. I’m not stupid and I can put two and two together.”   
  
Crowley glowered at her “What now, then?”   
  
“What do you mean? I don’t care what you guys do for a living, I’m just glad that Aziraphale is safe, even if he’s a Bond girl.” She turned to the blond “I am a bit mad at you because you know I’m a fan of yours and I could’ve done with an autographed copy of your book.”   
  
“I’ll do you one better. An autographed first edition.” Aziraphale responded with a smile. Anathema smiled back and the tense atmosphere of the room relaxed.   
  
“You really do need to take some pictures and put them up though. Your house looks like it belongs in a magazine rather than something to actually live in.”

  
  


Anathema volunteered to help with their investigation after they further explained the situation, and Crowley reluctantly agreed. They spent the rest of the evening pouring over books and taking notes, save for Crowley, who was still not allowed to know the code.   
  
Newt burst out laughing suddenly and everyone jerked to look at him “I’m sorry- just- Zira, please tell me I didn’t read this wrong?” He pointed out what made him laugh and Aziraphale blushed “You probably didn’t.”   
  
“What does it say?” Crowley asked, concerned.   
  
“I don’t think-”   
  
Newt read over him, imitating Aziraphale’s voice “‘Leave it to a skinny beanpole white guy to think he’s god’s gift because his dick is good.’” He burst out laughing while reading, tears coming out of his eyes “I wonder who that’s about.”

Crowley looked at Aziraphale with mock offense “You talked shit about me in your journals!”    
  
“Fine! I did!” Aziraphale cried, embarrassed at his lover’s bubbling laughter.   
  
Anathema held hers up “Aziraphale just called Crowley a gal-sneaker. I had to read that with my own two eyes. What century are you even from!?”   
  
“What is a gal sneaker!?” Crowley looked super confused.   
  
“Its victorian slang for womanizer.” Anathema informed him, snickering.

Crowley ignored their friend’s laughter and leaned in close to Aziraphale’s ear “I love you so you get to pick your punishment for that one.”

Aziraphale giggled as Crowley kissed his cheek “I was a bit jealous, I admit.”   
  
“Don’t be. No one has ever or could ever compare to you in my eyes.” Crowley murmured. Aziraphale blushed and then realized their companions were staring at the two of them. His blush deepened.

Anathema raised her eyebrows “I was meaning to ask you when the two of you got so chummy. Finally dating, I hope?”   
  
“We haven’t actually discussed that part yet.” Crowley answered, glancing at Aziraphale nervously.   
  
Their companions groaned and Crowley looked offended “We’re going to talk about it later. This is our relationship, not a spectator sport.”   
  
“I disagree.” Newt responded with a laugh.   
  
“Just figure it out so we can go on double dates.” Anathema added.   
  
Aziraphale tilted his head “Double dates with who?”

Anathema smirked at him and Aziraphale turned an impossible shade of red as he realized “I think I may faint.”   
  
“You and Alec didn’t notice I disappeared the other night!?”   
  
“We were studying! I figured you were going to flirt with him! Not- Oh goodness.” Aziraphale covered his face, embarrassed “This is so silly. I look at the two of you like siblings.”   
  
Crowley rubbed his back supportively “Look on the bright side, angel, you didn’t facetime them right afterward.”   
  
“Oh good lord.” Aziraphale burst out laughing, leaning slightly against Crowley as he did so, and the rest of them joined in.   
  
  
Aziraphale took a shower and moved to head to bed when Crowley stopped him on his way through the master bedroom “Do you um.. Can we talk now? If that’s alright?”   
  
“Of course it is, darling.” He replied softly, letting his lover guide him to the bed to sit down.    
  
Crowley looked nervous “I don’t know where to start but I guess I should start with Rachel.”   
  
“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.” Aziraphale assured, touching his hand gently.   
  
“No… I know you wouldn’t make me but I want to be ready. I want to be able to talk to you even when it scares me.” He kissed Aziraphale on the forehead gently before turning and opening his nightstand drawer, pulling out the wooden box “I believe Newt told you that he and I have been best friends since we went to school together. He probably left out that he had actually skipped several grades and was a few years younger than Rachel and I. It didn’t matter though because the three of us were inseparable.” He took a shuddering breath “I was around sixteen when I realized I was in love with Rachel. I actually told Newt about it first and it didn’t bother him but by the time I had the courage to say anything she already had a boyfriend.”   
  
Aziraphale nudged him softly “You? Didn’t have the courage?”   
  
“I was gangly and awkward and most girls weren’t into that.” He chuckled softly “Anyway, she got this boyfriend and everything was fine for several years. As far as we all knew, he was a good guy and she was happy. She moved in with him right out of highschool and that’s where it all went downhill.” He glanced down at his trembling hands “Newt and I started noticing bruises and at first, she would play them off like she was clumsy and we believed her but eventually, it became obvious that she was lying. When she and I were around your age I confronted her and- I confessed. She didn’t feel the same way but I think she wanted to. She left him and the three of us got an apartment together. She and I agreed to date but she wasn’t comfortable with sex yet because he- She just couldn’t handle that. We were happy. It only lasted a year before he stalked her as she got off work and- I don’t want to go into details of what he did but it was the most terrible thing I’d ever seen.” He took a shuddering breath “I found her. I was late picking her up because my night class went over time and usually she would wait for me but that night she just opted to set out on her own. I found her body and she was already-” He broke off, a few tears streaming down his face “It was too late. If I would’ve been there-”   
  
“There was no way you could’ve known that.” Aziraphale told him, gently wiping away tears “I’m sorry you saw her like that, I can’t imagine how that must’ve felt.”   
  
Crowley gave him a shaky smile and opened the box “I know you saw the pictures but-”   
  
“She was beautiful.” Aziraphale interrupted softly, grabbing a picture “You looked happy.”   
  
“I was.” A pause “I am. I’m happy now. I think what triggered me was the guilt of being happy when she never really got that chance.”   
  
“She did though.” Aziraphale told him, pulling out a picture of Crowley, Rachel, and Newt all together, goofing off. Newt and Rachel were both playfully licking Crowley’s cheeks while he wore a birthday hat. His nose was scrunched and his face was flushed. It was adorable, really.   
  
“Only for a year.” He murmured sadly.   
  
“Better than none at all. She obviously loved you and Newt very much and would want the both of you to be happy.” He told him “My mother knew she was going to die and she had time to tell me what she wanted and hoped for in my future, she just wanted my happiness above all else. Because that’s what you want for the people you love, whether you can take part in that happiness or not.” He touched Crowley’s hand “She’s probably in Heaven right now, happy to see you opening up.”   
  
“That’s a sweet thought but I don’t believe in Heaven.” Crowley murmured, his shoulders significantly less tense.   
  
“Fine she’s a ball of energy in the universe or she’s reincarnated as a butterfly or something else lovely and she’s happy for you.” Aziraphale replied primly as he carefully put the pictures back in the box to protect them from Crowley’s tears before carefully placing the box back into the nightstand “How are you feeling?”   
  
“Better, actually.” Crowley responded, taking a shuddering breath “I suppose now I should tell you why I approached you that night.” 

Aziraphale smiled to himself “Because you wanted me?”   
  
“Well, yes and no. I saw you sitting there by yourself and my first thought was that you looked like an angel, my second thought was that you were sad- no, not sad. ‘Sad’ doesn’t cover it. I knew that look about you because I’d been seeing the same look every day for ten years when I looked in the mirror. All I could think about was how I didn’t want to see you look like that ever again. Isn’t that a strange thing to think about a stranger?”

“Yes, but I’m not complaining.” Aziraphale shifted closer to him and leaned his head on his shoulder “You gave me the best night of my life that night. No one had ever held me like that, treated me like I was-” He broke off and looked away “It was nice.”   
  
“It was a hell of a lot more than nice, angel.” Crowley chuckled “I’ve always been interested in BDSM and I never thought I’d get to have that. Then I meet this adorable guy that turns out to be the perfect sub. I hadn’t been that enthusiastic in bed in a long time. You had me so dazed I asked for your number.”   
  
“Hmm just to end up not calling.” Aziraphale chided jokingly “Then I thought you were stalking me.”   
  
“Since we’re confessing things… I sort of was.” Crowley winced “I know that sounds bad but I checked on you, to make sure you were okay. I parked my car outside your building because I’d hoped to run into you, only realizing later how bad of an idea that was. Then I saw you walking outside that late at night and I couldn’t just let you get hurt.”   
  
“You were so chivalrous until you fucked me senseless in public.” Aziraphale joked, making Crowley laugh.

“You were into it.”   
  
“I was.” 

There was a beat of silence.   
  
“I read your book.”   
  
“Oh, dear. Why would you do a silly thing like that?” Aziraphale asked, embarrassed.   
  
“It wasn’t silly and it kind of helped me in some ways. You’re talented… at writing I mean and um… yeah.”   
  
“You like my writing?” Aziraphale asked softly.   
  
“I love your writing. I love the way you sing to yourself when you’re cooking. I love the way you scrunch your nose when you look at your phone because you can barely figure the bloody thing out. I love the way you say my name. I love how you smell, how you speak, how you sigh right before you fall asleep. I love the smile you get when you’re truly satisfied. I love the way your body reacts beneath my hands. I love the way you-” He broke off, emotional “I love the way you can look at a soul as damned as mine and still think it’s worth something. Worth loving. You’re an angel, Aziraphale. A real-life angel.”

Aziraphale cupped his lover's face gently and turned him so they could lock eyes “Oh, my darling, I haven’t been an angel since I met you.”

Crowley kissed him and Aziraphale kissed back, their clothes being shrugged off little by little. Suddenly Crowley pulled back “Aziraphale-”   
  
“Yes, my darling?” Aziraphale gasped, chasing his mouth.   
  
“We can’t- Well I mean we can but I suppose it’s better to say we shouldn’t.”   
  
Aziraphale paused, confused “Did I do something wrong?”   
  
“No, of course not.” He assured “I just- I said some fucked up things to you but I can’t forgive myself for saying the only thing I ever wanted from you is sex. You’re worth so much more than that to me.”   
  
“I believe you.” Aziraphale murmured, kissing his fingertips.   
  
“I know but… I want to do this right.” Crowley insisted “Maybe we can start over and just let this progress naturally?”

Aziraphale huffed “What about my punishment?”   
  
“Make a tab, we’ll write down all the things you need punishing for and when we get back to that point you won’t be able to leave the bed when I’m through.”   
  
“Dinner dates twice a month, with dessert, and I’m in.” Aziraphale quipped, holding his hand out to shake.   
  
“I’m allowed to spoil you and one of the dinner dates is out of town every month.”   
  
“Deal.”   
  
“Deal.” Crowley murmured, leaning down to kiss him gently on the forehead “I love you. I’ll never grow tired of saying that.   
  


Aziraphale informed Anathema of the details of his and Crowley’s newfound arrangement and she raised her eyebrows but seemed supportive.   
  
After they parted ways, she called Newt and told him the situation, causing the man to laugh “How long can they keep that up?”   
  
“I give it a week.” Anathema bet.   
  
“Nah, they’re pretty stubborn when they set their mind to it. I give it… five months.”   
  
“You think they could go five months without jumping each other?”   
  
“I’m trying to be nice.” Newt defended, causing her to laugh.   
  
“Aziraphale seemed happy.”   
  
“They both are. They’re just two happy and soon to be sexually frustrated peas in a pod.” Newt responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale: We're going to focus on the emotional bonds of our relationship rather than sexual :) <3
> 
> Newt and Anathema: LOL bet. I give it a week.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff and shenanigans, there will be a good bit of this before the plot advances significantly lol

“I’m still rather surprised you were not only alright with this, but you suggested it.” Aziraphale told Crowley as they finished unpacking the party supplies.   
  
“Oh, you know me, angel, I’m all about goodwill and such. I mean, he’s our friend and-”   
  
“When did we buy a second cake?” Aziraphale interrupted, frowning.   
  
“Oh… erm… just being an extra good friend.” Crowley replied innocently “Alright, we’re all good.”   
  
Aziraphale gave him a deadpan look and opened the cake box, inside it was a cake that read ‘At least you tried.’   
  
“I mean… He tried so hard at college-”   
  
“Anthony! You can’t bully my friends!” Aziraphale told him, exasperated “I thought you were going to be nice.”   
  
“I am being nice.” Crowley replied defensively “I’m to blame if Alec has no sense of humor?”   
  
“No, but you ARE to blame if you offend him. He’s probably sad right now. He fell in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way AND he has to leave all his friends to go to a new country.” Aziraphale pouted.   
  
“He’s too perfect to be sad. He’s probably rescuing some kitten from a tree and someone is swooning over it as we speak.” Crowley told him sarcastically.   
  
Aziraphale rolled his eyes but closed the cake box “Foul fiend.”   
  
“That’s me.” Crowley winked, kissing his boyfriend(?) on the cheek “Now, let’s get this over with.”   
  
  
  


Alec saw his cake and shot Crowley a withering look “You’re hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.”   
  
“I know.” Crowley replied cheekily.

“Old man.” Alec snapped.   
  
“B-Team.” Crowley snapped back.   
  
“Please stop, guys!” Aziraphale told them both, exasperated “We have guests!”

  
  


Aziraphale and Anathema watched from their lawn chairs at the edge of the garden as Alec and a few of their classmates patiently taught Crowley and Newt how to throw a football down by the lake. Alec backed away from Crowley for the older man to attempt to throw the ball. It didn’t go well and Aziraphale snickered to himself as he heard Crowley tell Alec that whatever they were playing wasn’t actually football.   
  
“Alec and Aj get along so well when you’re not within ten feet of them. I guess that’s what happens when two men fall in love with you and you end up sleeping with both of them on the same night.” Anathema said, laughing.   
  
Aziraphale groaned into his hands “I made a rash decision, okay?”   
  
“It was a good one. This is the most entertainment I’ve had in weeks.” Anathema laughed as she picked up her fruit drink “Drink up, babe, it’ll help.”

The blond dutifully took a sip of his drink “I’m glad that Anthony and I worked things out.”   
  
“God, I am too. It was painful to watch.” Anathema laughed again “Newt and I were literally having meetings about how to nudge the two of you along if that nonsense lasted any longer.”

  
  


Aziraphale and Anathema tipsily swayed their way to join everyone else at the lake as the party grew rowdier and everyone decided to swim. Crowley jogged up to Aziraphale, clad in swimming trunks and having his tattoos out on display, and kissed him soundly on the mouth, causing several party-goers to whoop at them.   
  
The blond pulled away with a blush “I was wanting to swim but the water may be cold this time of year.”   
  
“Come on! It’ll be fun!”   
  
Anathema laughed from next to them “Go ahead, Zira. I’ll watch you freeze from my spot on the warm sand.”   
  
Crowley smirked at her “Are you sure about that?”   
  
“What do you- NO! NO!” Anathema squealed as Crowley hefted her up over his shoulder and ran toward the water, ignoring her laughter and cries for mercy. Aziraphale burst out laughing, watching them. Newt joined him, laughing too “They’re both really something, aren’t they?”   
  
Crowley called to them from where he was holding a struggling Anathema in the water with only her head and shoulders sticking out “Angel! Your bestie said the water’s perfect!”   
  
“I did not you fucking asshole!” Anathema yelled with a laugh, splashing him and causing him to try to get away from her.

“It’s so sweet that Crowley won’t force you into the water.” Newt observed.   
  
“Yeah it’s-”   
  
“What a shame that I hold no such reservations.” Newt added, smirking as the blond began backing away from him.   
  
“You can’t pick me up! So- Oh no!” He broke into a sprint as he realized that Newt had distracted him while Alec approached.   
  
The two men caught him easily and picked him up “Sorry, Zira! If Anathema has to go, you do too!” Alec told him.   
  
“Can’t let your man bully my girlfriend and not get revenge. Eye for an eye and all that.” Newt told him casually before they tossed him into the water near where Crowley and Anathema were.   
  
A few minutes later the guys left he and Anathema in the water and they stood there, shivering as they played football as if they hadn’t thrown the two of them into freezing water.   
  
“I know you’re a guy, Zira, but fucking MEN.”   
  
“Aye, I agree.” Aziraphale responded, splashing her.   
  
She gasped in shock before her face became determined “Oh, that’s how it’s going to be?”   
  
“No, I’m sorry!” He yelled, laughing as his best friend splashed him back.

  
  
  
“I don’t think this is a good idea… Anthony might get mad.” Aziraphale told Alec, stumbling slightly into him in his drunken state.   
  
Alec shushed him too loudly, also drunk “What’s he gonna do? Not buy you designer shoes for a whole week?”   
  
Aziraphale giggled way too loudly and Alec shushed him again, nearly as loud as the giggle had been.    
  
Together they wandered into an unoccupied bathroom.   
  
  
Crowley had lost Aziraphale. He sighed, knowing he had to locate his drunk boyfriend(?) before he hurt himself. He hadn’t ever actually seen Aziraphale this drunk before so he had no idea how the blond would act, though he was sure it would be entertaining.   
  
He pulled a guy to the side, yelling to be heard over the blaring music “Have you seen Ezra?”   
The guy pointed in a general direction “He and Alec went that way, looking really sketchy.”   
  
Confused, Crowley walked in the direction the man pointed and heard a giggle he recognized from the other side of the bathroom door. He opened it and his jaw dropped in shock.   
  
Aziraphale shrieked in surprise, sitting on the counter in front of Alec “It’s not what it looks like!”   
  
“Really!? On the bloody counter of our bathroom!? You couldn’t find somewhere else to go for this!?” Crowley asked the both of them.   
  
Alec shrugged “He wanted to try something new.”   
  
“Aziraphale… baby.” Crowley sighed, approaching his boyfriend(?) “If you wanted your ear pierced I would’ve just taken you to a tattoo parlor.”   
  
“I can pierce ears!” Alec said, indignant “I just did!”   
  
“You’re drunk!” Crowley shot back.   
  
Aziraphale touched his shoulder, looking serious “It’s fine, Anthony. I’m drunk too.”   
  
“That makes it even less fine!” He laughed, examining the piercing. Luckily the two of them didn’t get it crooked and Alec seemed to have remembered to sanitize everything they used.   
  
Aziraphale’s eyes filled with tears and his chin wobbled “You don’t think I look pretty?”   
  
“No! I mean, yeah! Yeah, you look pretty!” Crowley told him, panicked as Aziraphale started crying harder “I love you, you always look pretty to me. I just wish you would’ve done this sober… and by a professional instead of your drunk friend in a bathroom at a party.”   
  
“I did a good job!” Alec protested.   
  
“Shut the hell up, Brokeback Mountain, this isn’t about you.”   
  
“Okay, Braveheart.”   
  
“Bloody tosser.”   
  
“Simp.”   
  
“STOP! OH MY GOD!” Aziraphale snapped, looking pale “I think I’m gonna be sick- Anthony…”   
  
“I got you, sweetheart.” Crowley told him, helping him off the counter and to the toilet, holding Aziraphale’s hair back as he wretched. He gave Alec a flat look “Do you mind?”   
  
Alec rolled his eyes, ignoring Crowley “I’ll be right back with some medicine, Zira.”   
  
“I’ll get his medicine-”   
  
“Anthony please don’t leave me! I don’t feel good.” Aziraphale sobbed.   
  
Crowley made soothing noises, rubbing his back “Alright, I won’t.”   
  
Alec was back shortly with the medicine and left them alone after one last lingering look.   
  
  
  


The next day, Aziraphale woke up with a pounding headache, laying in Crowley’s bed, wearing his pajamas. He snuggled happily into the warmth of his lover’s bed as the smell of breakfast filled the house.

Crowley entered some time later with a tray of food, headache medicine, and orange juice. Aziraphale sat up and the other man sat it on his lap. The blond smiled to himself when he saw the fluffy pancakes with the strawberry heart on top “I thought you didn’t like the pancakes last time.”   
  
“No, they were adorable and delicious. I just had to look up the recipe to try it myself.” Crowley told him with a small smile “How does your ear feel?”   
  
“My ear!?” Aziraphale asked, just then noticing that his ear felt tender “What happened to my ear!?”   
  
“That bastard, Alec happened to your ear! The two of you snuck off while absolutely pissed and pierced it!” Crowley told him, looking both amused and annoyed.   
  
“Did I worry you? Sneaking off with him?” Aziraphale asked, feeling guilty.   
  
“No, angel. I trust you.” Crowley told him with a soft smile “I was just worried about how drunk you were is all.”

“I’m sorry…”   
  
“You will be. Put it on your tab.” Crowley smirked, winking “Now eat your pancakes, I made them just for my perfect little hungover angel.”   
  


Crowley drove to the local crafts store later that day and sat in the parking lot for a few minutes, trembling and taking deep breaths. He could do this. He had to do this.   
  
‘Your hands are so lovely.’ Rachel had told him once. It was a passing comment to her, casual. She was so casual and unaffected by everything.

‘What do you mean? My fingers are long and thin-’

‘Your hands make beautiful things, Aj. That’s why they’re beautiful themselves.’ She had responded, looking out the window of Newt’s apartment.   


She had a fading bruise on her chin but Crowley could barely notice as the sun caught her eyes, gave her the look of someone that was in love, an impossible dream for him ‘You’re beautiful, Aj.’   
  
Aziraphale had nuzzled his face into the curve of Crowley’s palm in an almost worshipful way ‘I love your hands.’

‘Your hands made those beautiful paintings I hung in my rooms.’

‘They’ve touched me so gently I’ve cried.’   
  
Crowley released his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel and took a deep breath, feeling his shoulder relax. He would do this, for them both.

  
  


Aziraphale was up in his room reading a book when he heard cursing… in a heavy Scottish accent. He hesitantly stood up, grabbing his Oscar Wilde bust, and headed downstairs. He realized the cursing was coming from the garden.    
  
Crowley was yelling at the plants as he watered them “Bloody leaf spots!? Really!? I won’t stand for it!”   
  
“Erm.. darling?” Aziraphale asked, gently setting his bust on a bench.   
  
“Yes, angel?” Crowley asked… in his usual Cockney London accent.

They stared at each other for a moment.   
  
“I’m- I’m sorry dear but… I could’ve sworn…”   
  
“Yes?”   
  
“Your accent…”   
  
“Oh… yeah, I’m sorry I guess I got relaxed and let it slip. I’m actually Scottish. The Londoner accent just makes me stand out less, I suppose.” Crowley groused, looking embarrassed.   
  
“Could you… keep doing that?” Aziraphale asked, dazed.   
  
“Speaking with a Scottish accent?” Crowley looked confused.   
  
“Yeah… please?”

There was another pause.   
  
“Why?” Crowley asked, scrunching his face in confusion.   
  
Instead of answering, Aziraphale gave him ‘the look’ and started backing towards the kitchen door “It’s doing it for me.”   
  
“Aziraphale we’re supposed to be behaving ourselves.” Crowley informed him, following after him anyways.   
  
“You never said I couldn’t touch myself.” Aziraphale pointed out to him, his voice almost becoming a purr as his back his the door and his lover loomed over him “I could just touch myself and if you’re in the room, watching me… that’s not technically breaking the rules is it?”   
  
“Well, when you put it like that…” Crowley mumbled, clearly distracted by the thought.

“Please watch me? Please watch me come while you tell me what you’ll do to me.” Aziraphale begged, his eyes shining as he looked up at him. He licked his lips and Crowley’s eyes tracked the movement “I’ll even finger my cu- my erm-”   
  
“Say it.” Crowley nearly growled, leaning closer “Say the word and I’ll watch you. If you’re going to be a misbehaved boy you might as well go all the way, hmm?”   
  
“My cunt.” Aziraphale whispered, watching with hidden delight as Crowley’s eyes darkened to molten gold “Will you watch me? I’ll be so good for you.”   
  
Before Aziraphale could react, the door was being opened behind him and he was pushed through, Crowley’s mouth devouring his. The other man reached down and grabbed him by his thighs to pick him up and the blond wrapped his legs around his waist as he was carried to the bedroom, never breaking the kiss.   
  
It had been three days and fifteen hours since their arrangement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crowley: No sex. >:(
> 
> Aziraphale: Well I could get off while you watch me ;)
> 
> Crowley, sobbing: You're my dream man :'D


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a mixture of porn and fluff, pls enjoy lol
> 
> **I hope y'all feel loved because I originally intended for like, 2 actual sex scenes and the rest be fade-to-black but everyone seemed to want sexy times so I decided to make this fic porn with plot sprinkled in, as a treat :)

“Anthony! I can’t-” Aziraphale whimpered, three fingers shoved in himself as he laid on his back, legs spread to give his lover a good view.   
  
His lover, who was sitting in a chair across the room, sipping brandy and only looking mildly interested “Yes you can, angel.”   
  
Aziraphale pulled his fingers out and pouted, sitting up to make sure Crowley saw his pout “It feels better when you do it.”   
  
“I’m sure it does.” Crowley responded evenly.   
  
“My fingers aren’t long enough.” He deepened his pout. Crowley remained unaffected.

“Perhaps you should use the vibrator?” He asked, eyebrows raised.   
  
“Your cock would work best.” Aziraphale mumbled petulantly.   
  
“I told you that we can’t have sex for a while and I meant that. Do you think a little pouting could sway me?”   
  
“It did… a little bit.” He smirked at his lover who just stared at him for a moment before standing up, still carrying his drink.   
  
“Lay down.” He said in a tone that didn’t tolerate disobedience.   
  
Aziraphale complied and shivered as Crowley poured the drink on his chest before bending over to lick it off. He gasped as his lover’s tongue swept over one of his nipples and arched his back, pushing his chest into the touch.   
  
Crowley slapped him in the face, lightly “I said lay down.”   
  
“I am laying down, sir.” Aziraphale told him innocently.

Crowley poured more of his drink on Aziraphale’s chest before licking it up again, lingering on his nipples, causing the blond to cry out and arch his back again. Another slap. Repeat.   
  
Aziraphale eventually went limp on the bed, panting from the teasing, watching Crowley sit the now empty glass down “Sir… please…” 

The redhead dragged his tongue up Aziraphale’s chest then along his neck before he dropped back down to nose against the blond’s jugular as he pressed a finger inside him. Aziraphale cried out as Crowley began fucking him with his finger. He whispered in the blond’s ear, in his actual accent “Needy slut, can’t ever be pleased unless someone puts a cock in you.”   
  
Aziraphale whimpered, clinching around Crowley’s finger and he pressed against the muscle, feeling it twitch under his touch “Don’t tense on me now, angel. You wanted this, directly disobeyed me to get it.” He pressed in another finger, humming at his lover’s whine “I won’t fuck you until you come. In fact…” He added another finger and pressed all three down on Aziraphale’s prostate in a way Crowley knew would make him come soon, knowing that won’t be happening “I won’t be letting you come at all, angel.”   
  
“Please-Please-Anthony-” Aziraphale panted, as Crowley massaged the bundle of nerves inside him. He felt the pressure building and tensed as he got closer- just for Crowley to remove his fingers last minute.   
  
He sobbed as Crowley let go of him completely and backed away “Anthony-”   
  
“You wanted to be a brat and for that, you will be punished. You aren’t to come until I say so.” Crowley told him, casually wiping the lube off his fingers as if the ordeal didn’t affect him, the tent in his trousers saying otherwise.

“I promise I’ll be a good boy!” He whimpered, scrambling to the edge of the bed and nuzzling into the gentle hand cupping the side of his face.   
  
“You want to be a good boy, do you?” Crowley asked gently, smiling at Aziraphale’s enthusiastic nod “Then you won’t come until I say you can. Prove you can be a good boy.”   
  
  


A week. A bloody week. Aziraphale sighed as he got out of the cold shower and walked into the bedroom, just to find Crowley sitting on the bed. He had a sparkle in his eyes that spelled trouble for Aziraphale and fun for Crowley “Hello, angel. Nice shower?”   
  
“Yes sir.” He lied.   
  
“Come over here and kneel.” The other man responded, gesturing at the pillow next to his feet “I got you a gift.”   
  
He did as he was told and watched as Crowley pulled a long box out of the unmarked bag and handed it to him “Open it.”   
  
“Oh my god.” He gasped as he opened the box.   
  
“You said your fingers or a vibrator wasn’t enough so-”   
  
“Crowley I can’t use this!” He squeaked, blushing.

“Yeah, you can.” Crowley told him, unfazed “Or, at least, you will if you want to come. I’m all about choices, angel.”   
  
“I’ll use it.” He murmured, blushing down his chest.   
  
“Anything else?”   
  
“Thank you for the toy, sir.”   
  
“Good boy.” Crowley winked at him.   


  
Crowley was laying in bed, practicing his sketching, when his phone rang. He picked up the phone, confused. Aziraphale was supposed to be home “Hello?”   
  
He heard a frustrated whine “It won’t fit.”   
  
The redhead snorted in amusement, setting his sketchbook to the side “I’ll just buy you a new one in your size. Which one is it?”   
  
“Not clothes…” Aziraphale responded shyly,   
  
Crowley froze “You’re... “   
  
“Yeah! And it won’t fit!”   
  
“Angel, that dildo is smaller than my cock which I know with absolute certainty that you can take quite easily.” He responded with a laugh.   
  
Aziraphale made a frustrated noise and Crowley sighed in amusement “I’ll be up there in a moment, angel.”

He stood and quickly hid his sketchbook and supplies in the back of his closet before washing the pencil lead off his hands and heading upstairs to assist his angel.   
  
The angel in question was laying on his bed, looking murderous “This is the meanest thing you’ve ever done to me.”   
  
“Buying you a toy is the meanest thing I’ve ever done to you?” Crowley asked with a lifted brow “That’s the highest on your list?”   
  
“Yes! Because you’re being a ninny about being a gentleman when I don’t want you to be a gentleman! I want you to fuck me until I can taste it… you know. The usual.” Aziraphale told him, pouting.   
  
“You’ll thank me later.” Crowley chuckled, holding his hand out for the toy “Your problem is that you’re stressed about this being a toy rather than another person.”

“Well, the way to fix that…” Aziraphale purred, pulling at Crowley’s belt.   
  
“-Is to get someone you trust to help you.” Crowley supplied, making the blond release his belt before he got on his knees “Put your legs on my shoulders and scoot to the edge of the bed.”

Aziraphale blushed and did as he was told, whimpering when Crowley began lubing him up “Will it hurt?”   
  
“Shouldn’t as long as you relax. It’s just like when we fuck, sweetheart.” Crowley soothed, kissing the inside of his thigh “Have I ever done anything in our bedroom that would physically harm you?”   
  
“No sir.”   
  
“See? I wouldn’t let anything hurt you.”   
  
Aziraphale shifted so he was leaning back on his elbows, looking at Crowley “About that… you know, I wouldn’t be opposed if you were rougher. You could slap me harder, spank me harder, choke me harder… I’d like it.” He darted his eyes and blushed.   
  
Crowley made a strangled noise before burying his face in the plump flesh of Aziraphale’s thigh “Sweetheart… you can’t just say things like that.”   
  
“It’s true… I trust you to not hurt me.” He whispered, watching his lover relax before giving his thigh another tender kiss.   
  
“Lay back down, angel. I’ll take good care of you.” Crowley told him softly, then, even softer “We can try, okay? But some other time.”   
  
Aziraphale shivered in excitement as he laid back and felt the tip of the dildo catching his rim, teasing “Anthony- Ah!” He cried out as Crowley shoved the toy inside him and the blond’s content and relaxed body took it. Crowley shoved it in and out of him at a steady and hard pace, causing Aziraphale’s whole body to bounce with every thrust. Aziraphale took it too, crying out as his lover shoved the object inside him at a brutal pace “Anthony!”   
  
“Such a good boy… you’ve been waiting so long haven’t you?” Crowley cooed as he shoved in a finger alongside the dildo. Aziraphale screamed as Crowley continued to speak in a soothing voice “You’ve been so good… I”m so proud of you angel…” Another finger. Another scream turned to a pleasured sob “Word?”   
  
Aziraphale shook his head and bucked against Crowley’s fingers and the toy as Crowley added a third finger “Look how well your body behaves for me. I could probably fist you if I wanted…”   
  
The blond babbled in response then broke off into a whine as Crowley removed his fingers and added more lube. He barely had time to wonder what for before he felt a familiar, smaller object be slid in alongside the dildo. He started wailing and babbling as his lover cooed at him “You’ll be fine, you’re such a good boy.”

“I can’t- It’s too much-” He sobbed, then shook his head when Crowley prompted him for their safe word.    
  
Crowley smirked “I love how slutty you are for me, always needing more.” He murmured, turning the vibrator to its highest setting.   
  
Aziraphale saw white as he arched his back and came, some of it shooting up his chest and even hitting his chin. He sagged against the bed, whimpering, as Crowley turned the vibrator off and carefully removed both the toys. He petted the sweaty curls away from Aziraphale’s forehead “How are you feeling?”   
  
A sleepy smile “Good…”   
  
Crowley smiled back before heading to the bathroom, returning with a warm damp towel. He cleaned Aziraphale off then helped him into his pajamas before tucking him into bed, grabbing the toys on the way out to go clean them “Goodnight, love.”   
  
“Goodnight my darling.” Aziraphale responded, already half asleep. Crowley closed the door with an amused chuckle.   
  
After cleaning the toys properly, Crowley got back into bed and pulled out his sketchbook and abandoned the absentminded sketch he was working on, flipping to a new page.   
  
He sketched Aziraphale, with that content and relaxed smile he gets after sex. He didn’t need a reference for that. He was halfway through the sketch when he realized he needed a wank.   
  
Sighing, he moved his sketchbook to the side and leaned back against the pillows, closing his hand around his cock “You’ll be the death of me, angel.”   
  
  


“I’m not saying that Alexander Hamilton was bi but… Alexander Hamilton was definitely bi.”    
  
Crowley blinked at him from across the dinner table “Who?”   
  
“One of the founding fathers of America.”   
  
“Weren’t they all racist?”   
  
“Yeah, they’re bloody awful, but listen- Alec pointed it out to me-” Aziraphale went off on a rant as Crowley just stared at him, at the way his face lit up during his ramble. God, he was lucky.   
  
“-And I was thinking if we ever have time we should go watch it.”    
  
“Of course, angel. Just pick when you want to go and make sure it doesn’t overlap with your college classes.” Crowley answered without missing a beat, but not entirely sure what he was agreeing to.

“Really!? Oh, thank you, Anthony!” He exclaimed with a happy sigh “I know it seems silly with them rapping about the Constitution-”   
  
Crowley had no idea what the fuck they were talking about anymore “We’re still talking about founding fathers, right?”   
  
“Yeah!”    
  
“... Alright… just making sure.” Crowley muttered, confused. He perked up “Heathers!”   
  
“Oh, what’s that one about?”    
  
“It’s like Mean Girls but with murder.” Crowley answered.   
  
Aziraphale scrunched his nose “Mean girls murdering each other?”   
  
“... I feel like I need to pick our next movies.” He laughed as their first course arrived.   
  
They had gone out of town to eat at a high-end Japanese restaurant, much to Aziraphale’s delight. Apparently he loved sushi almost as much as he loved crepes. Who knew? Definitely not Crowley. Or perhaps he did. 

He did. Whether that was due to a passing comment the blond had made or from him receiving a comprehensive file on Aziraphale’s life is anyone’s guess.   
  


They stumbled out of the restaurant, tipsy on sake, and opted to stay in a hotel for the night to sober up before driving home.   
  
Aziraphale shred his clothes nearly as soon as they entered the hotel room and Crowley sidled up behind him “There’s a huge tub in the bathroom and complimentary bath bombs.”   
  
They took a bath together and it wasn’t sexual, much to Aziraphale’s surprise. It was somehow more intimate as he relaxed against Crowley’s chest as they soaked in the tub together after a lovely date “This is perfect.”   
  
“Mhmm it is.” Crowley murmured back, wrapping his arms around Aziraphale’s waist and pulling him closer, kissing his shoulder gently “Everything is perfect with you.”

  
  


Aziraphale snuck through the front door, beginning to tiptoe towards the stairs but was stopped short at his lover’s voice “Hey angel… what are you doing?”

“Nothing!”   
  
“What’s under your shirt?” Crowley asked, looking concerned.   
  
“Nothing.” said Aziraphale.   
  
“Meow.” said Aziraphale’s shirt.   
  
Crowley stared at him for a moment before walking out the door without another word.   


  
Aziraphale pouted as he dangled a ribbon for the kitten to play with “I don’t know what his problem was-”   
  
Crowey walked through his bedroom door, loaded down with a bunch of bags and containers “I bought kitten supplies. I didn’t know if it was a boy or girl so I was trying to stay gender neutral.”   
  
Aziraphale gaped at him for a moment before collecting himself “His name is Freddie Mercury. I found him howling in a dumpster.”   
  
The other man sat down his bags and pulled out some toys “He can play with these while we set up his food and water bowls and his litter box. I’ll call in the morning about getting him a vet appointment.”   
  
“I can keep him!?” Aziraphale asked, excitedly.   
  
“You’re a grown man, sweetheart, and we own the house. If you want a cat you can have one.” Crowley chuckled, apparently missing that he included Aziraphale in ownership of the house “It was cute that you thought you could hide him.”   
  
“You seemed mad.”   
  
“I was overwhelmed with how adorable you are and with the sudden mental image at him clawing at our furniture.” He teased, not noticing the joint ownership. He stood up after the kitten was sufficiently distracted by his new toys and held out his hand “Lets set him up! If you can make some room in here we can set him up a cat tree sometime when you get a break from class.”   
  


“Wow, two weeks without incident. Color me surprised.” Anathema laughed at Aziraphale’s pout.   
  
“We’re not that bad.” Aziraphale defended.   
  
“Newt and I once watched him eye fuck you while you were eating vanilla ice cream. I was literally at your house once when you walked into the living room and pouted your way into sex.” She laughed “I’m not saying its a bad thing, you’re just thirsty for each other.”   
  
They walked past a building and Aziraphale halted at the fliers “A costume party?”   
  
“Yeah, for Halloween. You have to be over eighteen to get in and it’s a lot of fun. There’s dancing, drinking, and even a costume contest for different categories.”   
  
“That sounds so fun!”    
  
“Right? This town goes so hard on holidays.” She laughed, taking a picture of the flier to remember the information before holding out her hand “I think it’s safe to say we’re going and where we go, our doting men will follow so want to go costume shopping?”   
  
Aziraphale took it with a beaming smile “Of course! We should buy Anthony and Newt’s costumes while we’re at it. Wouldn’t want the two of them to be left out.”

They walked away arm in arm, not noticing the figure watching them from across the street. A cigarette was dropped on the ground, then crushed under a boot “Crowley… Crowley… Crowley… what have you been up to now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're cat dads :')
> 
> Y'all better appreciate that Crowley went hard on spoiling the cat too lol haha


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter :) lol
> 
> CW: Violence, blood, burns, References of torture, mild torture (?) I mean, I think it counts. And disposing of dead bodies  
> Should I also warn for mild blasphemy? Eh. You're warned.
> 
> You won't believe me because of the content warnings but this chapter is actually mostly fluffy LMAO

Crowley had to take another job in London for work and had to leave in a hurry. Aziraphale sat on his bed as his boyfriend(?) packed a suitcase “When will you be back?”  
  
“In less than a week, sweetheart, I promise.” Crowley answered, pausing in his packing to kiss him gently before pulling back “I’ll facetime every night, okay?”   
  
“Can’t I go with you? We made a good team…”   
  
“Not safely, no.” Crowley sighed “Besides, you have your classes. Your future career is important to you so I would rather you focus on that rather than getting caught up in mine.”   
  
He finished packing and Aziraphale helped him carry his luggage out to the car. They kissed softly in the driveway and Crowley pulled back with a sigh “Just a week, angel, I promise.”   
  
“You’ll be careful?”   
  
“Of course. It’s just a recon job.”   
  
He got in the car and Aziraphale leaned through the window to give him one last lingering kiss before he pulled out the driveway.   
  
  
  
Aziraphale was walking to his car after a night class when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He looked around and saw no one, though it was pitch black on this side of the campus so it would be hard to see if anyone was there. He pretended nothing as wrong as he walked to his car, purposely changing the speed and rhythm of his gait and feeling his heart lurch when he realized he was being followed.   
  
He made it to his car safely and checked the backseat to make sure no one was hiding back there before pulling out the parking lot. He thought about telling Crowley when he dutifully facetimed him that night but didn’t want the man to worry. It was probably just some creepy student or a mugger, nothing Aziraphale couldn’t handle.

The same thing happened the next night. And the next.  
  
Aziraphale still didn’t want Crowley to worry so he instead confided in Alec and Anathema on their weekly three-way video call they had taken up after their friend’s move. Anathema was worried and volunteered carpool with Aziraphale to and from class so he wouldn’t be alone, in case this was a stalker. Alec’s eyes narrowed slightly but he otherwise had his normal demeanor as he suggested Aziraphale listen to Anathema.

Anathema had to drop off the call to get some sleep but Aziraphale and Alec remained. There was a pause.  
  
“Have you told loverboy?”   
  
“No, he’s out of town on business and his job is stressful. I don’t want him to worry.” Aziraphale said quietly “I’m just a bit frightened is all.”   
  
Alec was quiet for a moment before he sighed “Don’t be. Nothing is going to happen to you, he wouldn’t allow it. I uh.. I have to go but you be safe, ya hear? Buy some pepper spray and a taser to keep on you.”   
  
“I will. Goodnight, Alec.”   
  
“Night, Zira.”   
  
  


Aziraphale and Anathema were halfway to the car before they were ambushed. One of the attackers grabbed Anathema and Aziraphale snatched her away and nearly threw her “Run!” He told her before he dodged a blow from one of the men that had attacked them.  
  
Thankfully, Anathema did as she was told and went sprinting away, pulling out her phone as she ran. Aziraphale silently thanked god she ran as he managed to knock on of the men out before turning to the others, realizing he was outnumbered and was clearly their target. They hadn’t seemed to bat an eye at Anathema running away.   
  
One of the men grabbed him and put a knife to his throat, slightly digging the tip in and breaking the skin. A trickle of blood ran down the blond’s neck as the man growled “We’ve been looking for you, blon-” A gunshot rang out and Azirpahale felt blood splatter on his face as the man’s body slumped to the ground. He screamed, frightened, and the other men left, apparently not wanting to get shot next. Aziraphale slumped to the ground too, in shock at what had just happened and his ears ringing from the gunshot or panic, he didn’t know.

Suddenly hands encircled him and he frantically fought back, kicking and hitting wherever he could until a familiar voice calmed him down “Angel! Angel, it’s me. It’s me.” Crowley clutched him tightly as the blond sobbed, making soothing noises “Let’s get you home. I don’t know who shot this guy but I don’t trust someone who can make that clean of a shot across that distance.”  
  
“You didn’t kill him?” Aziraphale asked, then he frantically looked around “Anathema! She’s-”   
  
Crowley made soothing noises as he led Aziraphale to the car “She’s with Newt in the Bentley. Luckily I was already on my way. We nearly hit her with the car.”   
They got home using Aziraphale’s car and Crowley walked him to the bathroom “Don’t look in the mirror, sweetheart. It’s only going to upset you.” He walked Aziraphale to the shower and turned on the water, helping him rinse the blood off before stepping away “I’ll be right back, okay? I’m going to get you some clothes.”   
  
He returned after the blond had finished washing and helped a shaking Aziraphale out of the shower, he paused and frowned at the small cut on his neck but said nothing “I don’t want to chastise you because you’re upset but you could’ve told me that someone was following you.”   
  
“I thought it was a regular stalker or a mugger.” He mumbled shakily “I just didn’t want to worry about you and distract you from work.”   
  
“Sweetheart, you’re more important than my work, always have been.” Crowley told him “I’m sorry that this happened and I couldn’t get to you in time.”   
  
“You did.” Aziraphale told him, smiling slightly “I’m just a little shaken at how close that shot was to my head is all. If it wasn’t you who shot that man, who was it?”   
  
Crowley looked confused too “I’ll make some calls. In the meantime, I’m driving you to and from class okay?”   
  
“Do we have to move?”   
  
“No angel, not if I can help it.” Crowley told him softly “But if we do, you can pick the place and the house, okay?”   
  
“Why are you back so soon?” He asked, confused “You weren’t supposed to be back for a couple of days.”   
  
Crowley paused, considering “I don’t want to lie to you, angel, but I can’t tell you the truth either. Will that be an acceptable answer?”   
  
“Not your truth to tell?” Aziraphale asked wryly, sighing at Crowley’s nod “Alright, I’ll accept that answer.”

“I love you, angel, so much.” The other man told him softly, kissing him on the forehead “Now rest up, you’ve been through an ordeal today. I’ll get to the bottom of this.”  
  
  
  
The next week was uneventful and full of Aziraphale determinedly putting together his and Crowley’s costumes. The other man was hesitant to still go to the Halloween party but finally caved after Aziraphale pointed out his costume allowed for him to hide weapons and he’d stay within sight the whole time.

The body of the man had never been discovered and life in town continued as normal. Crowley insisted it wasn’t him who had disposed of the body and seemed concerned to have someone with that skillset in town.

On Halloween morning, Crowley woke up to find Aziraphale, Anathema, and Newt in the living room putting final touches on their costumes. He took in the sight for a moment, smiling, before he frowned “Why is our cat dressed like Sailor Moon?” His question was met with three different sounds of indignation.  
  
Aziraphale spoke up “Did you not pay attention at all!? He’s Sailor Mercury!”   
  
Crowley looked at him.   
  
Aziraphale looked back.   
  
Crowley continued to stare at him.   
  
Aziraphale giggled “You get it? Because he’s Freddie Merc-”   
  
“Unfortunately I get it.” Crowley interrupted, pretending to be annoyed “What are you dressing up as?”   
  
“You’ll see.” Aziraphale told him coyly before gesturing at a black pile on the edge of the couch “That’s your costume. We’ll match.” He stood up and Anathema did the same to head upstairs to Azirpahale’s room to change into their costumes. 

  
  


“Angel, I look-” He cut off as he looked at the stairs, hearing his boyfriend(?) walk down them “Wow… you look…”  
  
Aziraphale stood wearing a large spiked golden halo and a slinky white robe that had slits on both sides that went up entirely too high, showing every inch of his plump thighs. The only adornment on the robe was a gold winged brooch on his shoulder, pinning the robe in place, and a gold chain belt that settled right under the top of the slit, accentuating how high the slit rose on the blond’s body. He had gold eyeliner and matching gold eyeshadow along with gold highlighter to accentuating his cheeks, nose, shoulders, and thighs. He looked ethereal. But it was weird to call someone that, wasn’t it.   
  
The blond took his silence for displeasure “Do you not like it? I just thought it would be cute since you call me ‘angel’ and-”   
  
“You look breathtaking, Aziraphale. I’ve never seen anything or anyone so beautiful in my life.” He told him approaching and ignoring Anathema’s rolled eyes from where she stood next to Aziraphale in her witch costume “I’m just a lowly demon, in love with god’s most lovely angel.”   
  
Aziraphale giggled “So you do like our matching costumes?”   
  
“I was confused at first but it’s fitting. Yes, I like them. I feel a bit ridiculous, dressing up, but I don’t mind it if it’s for you. I’m a bit confused about why I’m dressed in a suit when you’re not but I will disregard this as a kink of yours.” He joked.   
  
“I like the eyeliner.” Aziraphale told him with a blush “You look good.”

“Do the wings make my hips look too feminine?” He asked with mock seriousness.  
  
“Your hips always look feminine.” Aziraphale answered absentmindedly as the doorbell rang “Oh! Trick-or-Treaters!”   
  
“We don’t even have candy-” Crowley started but was cut off by his lover bounding out of the kitchen with a candy bowl “Nevermind- I suppose we do.”   
  
Anathema laughed and patted his shoulder before walking downstairs to join Newt, who was dressed like a Dracula-esque vampire and kiss him on the cheek “Hello, my immortal lover, I hope those fangs aren’t the only thing you’ll be sinking-”

Crowley quickly stopped listening and walked to the door to help Aziraphale hand out candy. It was cute to see how fascinated the kids were by his costume and even cuter to see the genuine excitement on Aziraphale’s face as he exclaimed and complimented all the children’s costumes, giving them extra candy and speaking to them like they were actually the characters or creatures they had dressed as. He even pretended to be frightened of one little boy dressed as a devil, much to the kid’s delight. It was cute. Crowley was trying hard to ignore the fluttering feeling in his chest he felt when he saw Aziraphale interacting with kids.

In between trick-or-treaters, Anathema took a bunch of pictures of the four of them and revealed she had taken a bunch of pictures at the party too. Her reasoning was that they needed pictures on the walls and the three men were inclined to agree. She even took a picture of Aziraphale and Crowley with their cat. 

When it was time to leave for the party, Aziraphale left a fresh bowl of candy on their front porch along with a note asking the children to be considerate of others when getting candy or an angel and his pet kitty will be rather cross with them. Cute.  
  


The music in the party was loud enough to be heard outside the rec center and Crowley placed a protective hand on Aziraphale’s back as they walked through the door, nearly bumping into someone dressed as a plague doctor. Aziraphale turned to Crowley with an enthusiastic smile “Did you see their costume!? So spooky!”  
  
“Yep, really spooky.” Crowley responded teasingly with a laugh. There was a crowd of people dancing and Aziraphale gave Crowley a pleading look. Crowley laughed again “I don’t dance sweetheart but I’m sure Anathema and Newt can keep you company. I’ll go look for alcohol.”

Aziraphale frowned but it was quickly gone when a Lady Gaga song started up and Anathema enthusiastically pulled him to the dance floor. Newt gave him a deadpan look “I’ll join you with the quest for alcohol.”  
  
Crowley watched Aziraphale and Anathema dance for a bit, laughing when they shot he and Newt overly sultry looks as they bumped and grinded with the crowd. That is until a Doja Cat song was playing and Aziraphale looked eyes with him across the floor, the lust in his face was not exaggerated or fake as he mouthed along to one lyric “Do I make you horny, baby?”   
  
The redhead felt like the wind had got knocked out of him but Aziraphale had resumed dancing with Anathema as if nothing happened. God, he was going to be the death of him someday. He glanced to the side, taking a swig of his drink when he saw a familiar face in the crowd. The man inclined his chin towards a back exit and Crowley nodded, handing his drink to Newt “Keep an eye on Aziraphale and do not let him out of your sight. I’ll be back.”   
  
He exited the building and found himself in a dark back alley facing Hastur. The man eyed him for a bit before speaking “What have you been up to Crowley? Playing house with that bitch of yours?”   
  
“What do you want, Hastur?” He replied, his voice even.   
  
“What I want is you dead. But first I want you to suffer. You’ll find out what it’s like to lose your partner just like I did.”   
  
“I regret to inform you, Hastur, but I’ve already lost a partner. If you leave now I will forgive your little transgression from last week and we can both walk away without a backward glance. However, if you threaten my angel again, you’ll find yourself at the bottom of a lake. Your choice.”   
  
“You expect me to walk away? You’ve killed all of my men!”   
  
“That wasn’t me.” Crowley told him “Now I’m giving you ten seconds.”   
  
“You expect me to believe that!?”   
  
“Nine.”

Hastur pulled a gun but Crowley eyed him, unaffected “Eight.”  
  
“I’ll kill that bitch of yours.”   
  
“Seven.”   
  
“I swear it, I’ll rip his pretty little outfit-”   
  
“Six”   
  
“Break him.”   
  
“Five.” Crowley continued counting as he pulled a cigarette out and lit it.   
  
“Make him watch as I cut off his fingers one by one.”  
  
“Four.” He took a drag.   
  
“Or maybe I’ll start with his nails. Ripping out nails, that’s a fun one.”   
  
“Three.”   
  
“I’m calling your bluff, Crowley.”   
  
“Two.” He casually blew a puff of smoke, his mouth curling into a smirk.   
  
“I’m the one with a gun. I’m in control here.”   
  
“One.”   
  
“Ha! You-” Hastur broke off with a cry as someone walked up behind him and jammed a needle into his neck, injecting him with a tranquilizer.” He fell forward instantly and Crowley was met with the plague doctor from earlier.   
  
“Took you long enough, boy.”   
  
“I was being considerate, old man. I know it could be hard for the elderly to keep up with us younger folk.” Alec replied, from behind his mask “Now, let’s get him taken care of so we can party.”   
  
“Awe, is someone excited to see a certain angel?” He asked teasingly as he began to back away to go to Alec’s car.   
  
“It should be illegal for his thighs to be out like that.” Alec responded solemnly, tossing Crowley his keys, making the other man laugh.   
  


They parked on an abandoned bridge and wordlessly moved to the trunk to pull out Hastur, who was just beginning to wake up. Crowley walked back to the car and pushed in the built-in lighter as Alec tied Hastur’s legs to bricks. The man began screaming and Alec nonchalantly shoved a space cloth in his mouth to gag him.  
  
“Did you kill his men?” Crowley asked him.   
  
“Nope.” Alec responded, “I just got back in town this morning.”   
  
Crowley hummed, his brow furrowing, as he heard the click of the lighter. He went and grabbed it and Hastur noticed and began whimpering against his gag “I’m sorry Hastur, occupational hazard. We can’t be letting someone identify your body.” His tone was casual as he pressed the lighter to Hastur’s fingertip, burning the print off. Alec walked to the trunk and came back with a small hammer.   
  
“Sorry, dental records. You understand.” He told him, his voice polite but with a slight edge as he swung the hammer down.   
  
  
They stood on the bridge, sharing a cigarette and watching the surface of the water, making sure he was dead.   
  
Alec broke the silence “We could’ve just kept him in the trunk and dumped him at the lake near your house.”   
  
“But then Aziraphale would be swimming in a lake with a dead body. That doesn’t sit right with me.”   
  
“Eh, good point.” Alec muttered as if realizing. He frowned after a moment “Who else could be in town? And why would they want to save Aziraphale?”   
  
“It might’ve not been a rescue attempt, so much as an attempt to get to him themselves, whoever they are.” Crowley muttered, taking a long drag of the cigarette before passing it to Alec.

“You think it could be Thorn?” Alec asked, his nose curling like he smelled something disgusting “He's the only agent I know that could make a shot like the one you described. If it’s him we can’t be certain what he’s up to.”  
  
Crowley sighed “That french bastard. I hope not.”   
  
“He and I had some incredible hate sex once.” Alec informed him casually.   
  
The redhead snickered “How did that go afterward?”   
  
“It was all a blur, one minute I had the most mind-blowing orgasm and the next minute there’s a gun aimed at me and a half-naked guy cursing me out in french before leaving me there.” Alec chuckled “Still worth it.” 

"Aziraphale did something startlingly similar to me once and I still haven't recovered from how attracted I was to him at that moment."

They stood in silence for a few moments.  
  
“This is nice.” Alec said after a while “Just two men, hanging out under the stars, bro talk.”

“Don’t get used to it.” Crowley told him, putting out his cigarette “I still fucking hate you.”  
  
“The feeling is mutual.” Alec told him, his smile saccharine “If you ever fuck up to the point he doesn’t want to be with you, I’m right there.”   
  
Crowley smiled back, just as fake “Oh, how chivalrous of you. Sadly, that won’t happen. I fully intend to keep him. Forever.”   
  
“Is viagra helping you along?”   
  
“Coming from the guy that can’t even grow a beard?” Crowley shot back as they got in the car.

  
  
  


They made it back to the party and Aziraphale was getting punch with Anathema as Crowley sidled up to him and kissed him.  
  
“Hi, darling! Where have you been?” Aziraphale asked him, sipping his punch. He nearly dropped it as another pair of hands grabbed him by his waist and a familiar voice shouted “Boo!”   
  
Aziraphale yelped and turned around to see the plague doctor from earlier “...Alec?”   
  
“Good to see you, Zira! I’m back in town for the holidays.” Alec told him, giving the blond a hug before moving to give Anathema one as well.

“Why didn’t you say ‘hi’ earlier when we bumped into you!?” Aziraphale exclaimed.  
  
Alec paused “I didn’t run into you earlier.”   
  
Crowley remembered then, that the man they had bumped into earlier was slightly shorter than Alec, a leaner build. It could’ve just been a partygoer but… He knew that set of the shoulders, that sort of gait. It came from a lifetime of training to be stealthy but to still give an aura of strength. He had assumed it was Alec earlier by that alone and it was rare for a civilian to walk like that. This was growing worrisome. He and Alec looked at each other.

Aziraphale didn’t seem to notice the look the two men exchanged “Oh maybe you should make friends with them since you’re twinning!”

Alec laughed “Maybe so. Now, let’s get to dancing and don’t let your man tell you ‘no’ or I’ll be forced to dance with you.”   
  
“The hell you are.” Crowley growled at him “I’ll dance with you, angel.” As if on queue the music changed and Aziraphael squealed while Crowley groaned “No. Please- A different song?”   
  
“You promised!” The blond pouted. The older man sighed and let his lover drag him to the dance floor.   
  
“You’re slick, Alec. I give you that.” Anathema said, watching the couple begin to dance along to Boogie Wonderland by Earth, Wind, and Fire “Crowley wasn’t in here to hear the contest announcement, was he?”   
  
“Nope!” Alec grinned “Maybe if they win they’ll be called a couple on stage and they’ll finally use the b-word instead of acting like they’re still just friends.”   
  
They watched as a few event planners began walking around and tapping couples out of the contest that Aziraphale and Crowley had unwittingly entered. The two of them didn’t even notice as they danced with each other, a bit goofy, and laughing playfully until they were the last couple left. Their friends cackled as a spotlight suddenly shown on the two of them “The winner for the best couple of the night! Why don’t we give them a round of applause as they come up on stage!”   
  
Crowley moved to bolt but Azirpahale held fast to his arm as they walked onto the stage for a ribbon and a picture.   
  
“So,” she began “We all know a couple who slays together stays together. What prompted this choice of costume?”

Crowley glowered at her while Aziraphale answered “He always calls me ‘angel’ and I call him a fiend so I thought it would be a silly joke to play on him. If I may, I didn’t know there was a contest?”  
  
She ignored his statement about not knowing “How long have the two of you been together.”   
  
Crowley’s face darkened while Aziraphale answered again “Oh just a few months, officially, but we’ve been friends for a while before that.”   
  
“So Mr. Demon-”   
  
“Antony.” He corrected.   
  
“Antony, what’s your favorite thing about your angel?”   
  
“Everything.” He answered. Completely serious. Aziraphale’s blush could be seen from across the room and at that point, Alec and Anathema were doubled over with silent laughter.   
  
“This is mean.” Newt chastised them, though he was struggling not to laugh too “You know Crowley hates attention.”   
  
“That’s a bold statement.” She said laughing as the audience awed “And Mr...?”   
  
“Ezra.” Aziraphale told her smiling.   
  
“Ezra, what’s your favorite thing about your demon?”   
  
“He seems grumpy but deep down he’s just a little bit of a good person.” Aziraphale said, looking at his lover teasingly.   
  
“And deep down, you’re just enough of a bastard to be worth liking.” Crowley replied back, smirking.   
  
The crowd awed again as the woman stepped away from them “Give Antony and Ezra another round of applause as they lead us into our next dance.”   
  
Crowley looked like he wanted to run again but was stopped by the overly cheerful woman asking the two of them what their song was. Aziraphale answered for them “Somebody to Love by Queen.”   
  
“Awe, an oldie! I love it.” She winked at Crowley before walking to the dj to set up the song.   
  
Crowley gaped at him “You… remembered?”   
  
“That the song was playing during our first conversation? I’m a writer, of course I remembered. It’s the start of every overly sappy love story.” Aziraphale responded easily, leading his skittish lover to the dance floor as the song began to play “That’s why I named our cat Freddie Mercury, you silly goose.”   
  
“I know you’re trying to be cute but when you call me a silly goose, it really turns me on and you know that’s not appropriate right now.” Crowley joked, causing Azirpahale to swat his shoulder as they stepped into a waltz “Wow, you’re good at this.”   
  
“I was raised as an aristocrat, I had to learn how to do this kind of thing from a young age.” Aziraphale told him, blushing “Though I usually had to learn to lead but clearly you have that covered.”   
  
“Career skill.” Crowley winked, dipping Aziraphale back before pulling him up, flush against his chest “Among others.”   
  
Aziraphale giggled as his lover lead him around the dance floor, holding him close. Eventually, he heard a low humming noise next to his ear and then as soft as a whisper “Find me somebody to…” He dipped Aziraphale back, leaning in so they were nose to nose “...love…”   
  
It was absurd. This was all absurd. Aziraphale thought so as his lover pulled him back up and hummed along to the rest of the song in his ear. Even still, he blushed and kissed his lover’s shoulder with an embarrassed giggle as the music died out and the crowd applauded. They quickly left the dance floor red-faced. Crowley glared at Alec, who was still laughing.   
  
“You’re a menace and I hope you die.”   
  
“It was cute, come on!” Alec wheezed “This is better than that time my sister dumped her boyfriend at the local honkey tonk.”   
  
Crowley’s glowered at him “At the WHAT?”   
  
“It’s a southern thing.” Anathema told him.

Aziraphale drank his punch then turned back to Crowley “Will you please dance with me again?”  
  
Crowley was powerless to say no. Their friends joined in this time, only pausing in their dancing to take pictures of the five of them.

When they got home, Aziraphale walked to Crowley’s room and leaned against the door, looking sultry “You look really good in that costume, darling.”  
  
“We’re supposed to be behaving ourselves.” Crowley reminded him, amused but stiffening as he remembered Aziraphale’s bratty moment on the dance floor earlier that night.

“Aziraphale and Anthony have to behave themselves.” Aziraphale told him, tilting his head to the side and exposing a long column of unmarked neck “But if a naughty demon decided he wanted to have his way with a sweet defenseless angel… that’s not breaking our rules… is it darling?”  
  
“Fuck it. I tried but you’re making this impossible.” Crowley laughed as he leaned in and kissed his angel, his voice turning into a low growl “But as a demon, it’s my job to tempt wayward angels into misbehaving isn’t it?”   
  
“You would make a terrible demon, now that I think about it.” Aziraphale giggled as his lover began sucking a mark on his neck.   
  
“You would make a terrible angel.” He murmured back as they moved through the now open doorway and toward the bed.   
  
Aziraphale hit the bed, flat on his back, a few of his feathers knocking loose. Crowley crawled over him, captivated by the sight of him laid on his wings with his halo spreading out against the white sheets until his gut lurched. Aziraphale was good. Too good. He deserved better than him, someone who murdered someone that day and was now touching someone so pure… so clean.   
  
The blond must’ve noticed his hesitation because he grabbed one of his hands and cradled it up to his face “You’re so good to me.”   
  
“Aziraphale, I did something bad earlier…”   
  
“I figured as much when you disappeared and didn't want to tell me why.” The blond told him, smiling softly “You do so much to protect us, and this home we’ve made together.”   
  
“I murdered-”   
  
“You protected.” Aziraphale corrected him softly, kissing his palm “It doesn’t bother me. You’re good to me, I don’t care if you think you’re a bad person because I know better. I know you.”   
  
“Azirpahale…” The name was half sobbed “I love you, so much.”   
  
“Then make love to me.” The blond whispered, looking up at him with those honest and pure blue eyes “I’m yours for whatever you need.”   
  
“I need to have you.” He whispered against Aziraphale’s throat, feeling the blond shiver underneath him.   
  
“You’ve had me since the moment I met you.” Aziraphale told him, arching against him, his wings rustling against the sheets beneath him.   
  
“You’ve had me too.” Crowley whispered, pushing Aziraphale’s robe to the side to reveal a pair of white panties. He took a ragged breath before pulling them down the blond’s thighs, keeping his gold Lous Vuitton’s on as he did so. The blond spread his legs dutifully, reaching out to grab at Crowley when he moved to unbutton his shirt “No, don’t… I always wanted you to… keep that on when you have your way with me. I want to feel powerless against you.”   
  
Crowley made a low noise “Fuck, angel, you can’t just say stuff like that.” He grabbed the lube from the nightstand and went to work lubing up his angel and making sure he was relaxed “You say you want to feel powerless against me but it’s me who’s always been powerless against you.”   
  
Aziraphale giggled weakly, though it was cut off with a whimper “Don’t tell me that or we’ll have no choice but to switch roles.”   
  
“Aziraphale, I remember that time you cuffed me to the bed and I just want to tell you from the bottom of my heart that you can dom me any time you want to and I would be completely into it.” He kissed the inside of Aziraphale’s thigh before pulling back, smirking at his lover’s blush as he unbuckled his belt and pulled out his erection, slicking it up.   
  
He slid into Aziraphale easily, humming when the blond cried out. He slid his hand’s up the blond’s back and gripped his hair, tilting his head back and causing him to arch his back as he fucked him at a vicious pace. He soaked up every noise and moan from his angel as the blond took what his lover wanted to give him, wrapping his legs around Crowley’s fully clothed waist. He could feel Aziraphale bucking his cock against the fabric of Crowley’s clothes, staining the fabric but somehow that made this feel filthier.   
  
“Who’s your god, angel?”   
  
Aziraphale paused for a second, his eyes filled with tears “You.”   
  
Crowley gripped his hair tighter “Say it.”   
  
“You’re my god, Anthony.” He cried out as Crowley slammed directly into his prostate.   
  
“Your god is a monster? A demon?” He growled into his ear, making the blond shiver.   
  
“Yes! Yes!” Aziraphale cried out as Crowley relentlessly pressed against the bundle of nerves inside of him.   
  
He relented slightly, causing the blond to pant in relief “You’re mine. My god.” He said it seriously. Not as dirty talk or as part of their impromptu costume sex “I never knew what it felt like to worship until I met you. I never knew what grace felt like until the first time you ever smile at me. The way you look at me, the way you touch me, makes me feel like I can be clean and whole again.”   
  
“Anthony-”   
  
“Our love is god, angel.” He told him simply, grabbing his cock and resuming his relentless pace.   
  


Later, as Crowley pulled out of him and pressed a kiss to Aziraphale’s sweaty forehead, the both of them breathing heavy, Aziraphale snickered, despite all of it “You quoted Heathers during sex.”  
  
“It seemed like the right thing to say.” Crowley said, absentmindedly slipping a finger inside the blond as they cuddled together “I meant it.”

“Well, I’m a Christian so I can’t really say that I mean it too but…” He paused, beaming at his lover “But I would defy heaven for you to keep you safe.”  
  
“That’s good enough for me, angel. Just choose me.”   
  
“Dear?”   
  
“Yes?”   
  
“Can we please take the costumes off now? My halo is starting to dig into my scalp.” Aziraphale complained. Crowley laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Our love is god" is from Heathers but you can't look me in the eye and tell me that Crowley wouldn't resonate with that in his feelings for Aziraphale (Just the quote, not the psychotic boyfriend part)
> 
> Anyways I hope you all enjoyed :)


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new character is introduced :)
> 
> Also CW for Aziraphale calling Crowley daddy in bed, kind of an isolated thing just for sexytime purposes

A pair of platform boots knocked against the edge of the roof to the tune of the metal song blaring in their ears as baby blue eyes peered through a sniper lens, observing Aziraphale Fell as he walked down the sidewalk toward a diner. They switched targets, zooming out slightly, and watched as Agent Crowley possessively touched the blond’s lower back as they walked. They aimed, perfect shot, and began to squeeze the trigger when the door of the diner opened and they were greeted by a third person. Alec Reed. They huffed, releasing the trigger and tucked a black curl behind their ear in agitation.  
  
Alec Reed complicated things.  
  
Cursing in french, they watched as more people showed up, clearly civilians. This wasn’t going to be as easy as they thought.  
  


  
  


“Is something wrong, dear?” Aziraphale asked his lover, who was frowning at something in the distance.  
  
“When is there not something wrong with him?” Alec quipped.  
  
Crowley just looked back to Aziraphale and smiled “Nothing. Just lost in thought.”  
  
The blond gave him a quick kiss as Crowley opened the door for him to walk through and the redhead looked at Alec once Aziraphale was out of earshot “We’re being watched. I can feel it.”  
  
Alec looked around, frowning “I almost wish they would make a move.”  
  
“If they just saw both of us, they know better.” Crowley told him.

“What now?”  
  
“We wait for them to slip up. They’ll get bored of waiting around forever.” He paused, deliberating “In the meantime, you and Anathema should probably stay with us. I’m not comfortable leaving the house unguarded and I also worry about her staying alone, especially if there’s a chance they saw her face.”  
  
“You have room?” Alec asked as they approached their table.  
  
“Yeah you can take Aziraphale’s and Anathema can sleep with Newt.”  
  
“How generous of you. I’ll keep him warm at night.”  
  
“He’s going to be moving into my room you prat.” Crowley smiled sweetly.  
  
“Tragic.” Alec responded sincerely.  
  
  
  


Aziraphale frowned when Crowley told him as they lay in bed that night, the blond using his bicep as a pillow “I understand Anathema but why Alec?”  
  
“Oh you know, he’s tough and I would just feel less worried if he was here with us.”  
  
The blond sat up, the sheet sliding down his bare chest “You’re telling me that you want my friend that I slept with… to move in with us?”  
  
“Temporarily, yes.” Crowley answered before smirking “Why? Want him to join us?”  
  
“Don’t be crude!” Aziraphale chastised, blushing “I wouldn’t-”  
  
“Angel, I was kidding… sort of.” He chuckled, cupping Aziraphale’s cheek “He’s ridiculously attractive so I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted him to join us, in fact, I’d be into it.”  
  
“I’m happy with just you.” Aziraphale chuckled, blushing deeper “I could never- You know.”  
  
Crowley’s hand moved from Aziraphale’s cheek to the back of his neck as he pulled him into a deep kiss “You’re all I want too.”  
  
Aziraphale made a happy little noise before cuddling back up to his lover, running his fingers lazily across his chest “I better be, seeing as how you worked so hard to get me back when we were in Europe.”  
  
“Why are you bringing that up again?” He asked, his voice dripping with suggestion as his hand roamed down the blond’s back to grab at one plump cheek.  
  
The younger man made a soft, happy little noise and cuddle closer “I don’t know. Perhaps I like making you angry.”

The sound of a firm hand hitting flesh rang out in the room and Aziraphale cried out, bucking his hips against Crowley’s side “Sir-”

“Did I hurt you?”  
  
“It stung a bit but I’m fine.” Aziraphale giggled against his bare skin before nipping it “I like a bit of rough play, darling. You don’t have to be afraid of hurting me.”  
  
He hummed, kissing the blond on the forehead absentmindedly “I’ll keep that in mind, my love.”  
  
“In the meantime…” Aziraphale purred, grinding his hips against Crowley’s side again.  
  
“You’re insatiable.” Crowley laughed before rolling on top of him and kissing the breath out of him.  
  
  
  
Newt waited until Crowley left the house to nudge Aziraphale with his foot “He’s gonna kill me for telling you this but someone has a birthday coming up.”  
  
Aziraphale grinned “Oh? What should we do?”  
  
“He’d never allow us to throw a party…”  
  
“What a shame… too bad we do what we want?”  
  
“That’s the spirit.” Newt grinned.

  
Aziraphale helped Alec move his luggage up to his room “Please don’t-”  
  
“I won’t touch your books, I promise!” Alec laughed “I know better.”  
  
“Oh, thank you, my dear. I suppose I just worry too much. Antony said he’d convert this room into a library for me after you leave so I’m looking forward to that.” He blushed when he realized what he said “Not that I want you to leave!”  
  
Alec burst out laughing, dropping his suitcase onto his bed “I understand! I’m still surprised he invited me to spend the holidays with y’all. Beats paying for a hotel room, right?”  
  
“I suppose so.” Aziraphale smiled to himself. Crowley seemed to like Alec, deep down. Maybe he shouldn’t worry about the two of them fighting so much, after all.

Crowley entered the room then “Getting settled in?”

“Yeah, I was just about to help Zira move his clothes downstairs to your room.” Alec answered.  
  
“Before you do that, Anathema needs some help.”  
  
“Oh, I’ll go help her!” Aziraphale offered, leaving the room.  
  
Crowley sighed “I talked to Bea and they said they haven’t put any agents on assignment in our area. So it’s either a rogue agent or something else entirely.”  
  
Alec frowned “Did you tell them about Hastur?”  
  
“Yeah, they were pissed but mostly because I left a body in a parking lot because I was preoccupied with getting Aziraphale home.”

“Bea just doesn’t understand your priorities. I’d heard some rumors that you had nearly gone rogue in order to protect a plaything of yours. Then I actually met him and I understand now.”  
  
“He was never my plaything.” Crowley said.  
  
  
  


Crowley walked into the house, confused when all the lights were off “Angel?” He dropped his car keys into the bowl next to the entryway and toed off his shoes “Newt?”  
  
He frowned. They must’ve gone out to eat while he wasn’t home. He’d told them he’d be back from London tonight. He walked into the kitchen and the lights flicked on “Surprise!”

He jumped, reaching for his gun, but immediately calmed down at the sight of his friends “Guys.. don’t. Do. That.”  
  
Aziraphale frowned “I baked you cupcakes.”  
  
Crowley tried to look annoyed but felt something in him soften at the sight of the cupcakes. Aziraphale had decorated them with little devil horns “Sweetheart, you didn’t have to- How did you know it was my birthday!?”  
  
Newt snickered and Crowley shot him a withering look. Newt rolled his eyes at Crowley’s mean look at grabbed a gift bag off the counter “Here, from me and Anathema.”  
  
He pulled the tissue paper out of the bag and found a bunch of loose items including a pair of crazy socks, vintage Valentino glasses, and art supplies “Thanks but you know I don’t-”  
  
“Aj, I know that you have been and that’s okay. She would’ve wanted you to get back to your art.”  
  
“How did you-?”  
  
Newt smiled “You kept forgetting to wash the graphite off your hands. Your hands twitch slightly when you see something you want to draw and I haven’t seen that in a long time so I was quick to notice it.” He stepped forward and poked Crowley’s cheek “I know my quirky best friend.”  
  
“I hate you.” He groused, embarrassed.  
  
“I love you too.” His best friend cooed back.  
  
Crowley was smacked by a wrapped box and he turned to see Alec “I got you a gift too.”  
  
“Oh erm.. Thanks?” He said, confused as he opened the package. His lips twitched “Awe you knew I liked Golden Girls?”  
  
“I was here only a week before you went to London and if I had to watch Golden Girls one more time I would’ve lost my mind.” Alec answered with a laugh as Crowley pulled out the coffee mug.  
  
Aziraphale held out a bag “Mine next!” Inside was a vintage Queen shirt, snakeskin Doc Marten’s, and a book of sex-themed poetry. He smiled at his partner, emotional “You’re my dream, angel.”  
  
“You have another present.” Aziraphale told him “Later.”  
  
“Oh?” He asked, swooping down to kiss Aziraphale gently before pulling back “Thank you for the presents, guys. You really didn’t have to.”  
  
“Oh hush now. Everyone deserves a few presents on their birthday.” Aziraphale chided.

Crowley was suddenly struck with a memory of Newt and Rachel surprising him for his birthday. Rachel had purchased a cheap cake from the grocery store.

‘I’m not going to bake for you, nerd, but happy birthday.’ She had told him, absentmindedly tucking a brown lock of hair behind her ear as she poured everyone tea to go with the cake.  
  
He had barely paid attention at the time, too caught up noticing a hand-shaped bruise on her wrist.  
  
A hand touched his face and he snapped out of it and looked down into baby blue eyes full of concern. He smiled “I’m alright, angel. Just forgot myself for a moment.”

Aziraphale smiled sweetly at him then held up a cupcake with two number candles on it, thirty-two years old “Make a wish!”  
  
He blew out the candles, humoring his partner, but ultimately did make a wish.  
  
He wished that the rest of his life can be like this, that Aziraphale would stay.  
  
  
  


Aziraphale went straight to the bathroom before bed and Crowley assumed he was too tired for part two of the gift. Laughing to himself, he began unbuttoning his shirt.  
  
“Daddy?” He heard Aziraphale say, and Crowley didn’t necessarily have a daddy kink but… well, nearly everything Aziraphale said or did was sexy as hell to him.  
  
He turned around and felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Aziraphale stood in the doorway of the bathroom wearing a black strappy bodysuit with black panties attached to thigh-high black pantyhose “Angel…”  
  
Aziraphale walked towards him, swaying his hips provocatively, and pushed on his chest, hard enough to make him fall back on the bed, before straddling his lap and grabbing his hands to feel along his body and to his ass… where there was an opening in the panties. Crowley made a few incoherent noises before burying his head against Aziraphale’s chest and taking a deep shuddering breath “Fuck.”  
  
“Do you like it, daddy?” Aziraphale purred, knowing the answer.  
  
“Yes, I like this a lot.” He murmured, slipping a finger against Aziraphale’s hole and feeling the end of a plug. He nudged it a bit, causing the blond to make a small noise and buck against his touch, looking up at him as he did so “You really went all out for me, didn’t you?”

“Happy birthday.” The blond leaned down and whispered against his mouth, their lips not quite touching. That won’t do at all.  
  
He surged up and kissed his angel deeply, sliding his hands along his sides and tugging gently on the straps of his bodice “Get on your hands and knees, angel. I won’t tolerate your teasing.”  
  
Aziraphale did as he was told, trembling with anticipation. Crowley rubbed his cheeks and spread them to admire the red jewel peeking out of his hole “All stretched and pretty for me too?” He released his grip before smacking Aziraphale on the ass lightly “I’m going to spank you twenty times and you will count them. If you lose count I’ll start over.”  
  
The blond wiggled his ass enticingly “What am I getting punished for?”  
  
“For being a tease.” He told him before striking him across the ass “Angel?”  
  
“One.” Aziraphale moaned out, his body trembling with want “More, please? I’ve been bad so many times and you’ve been letting me get away- Ah! Two!” He cried out the last part, making Crowley smirk in satisfaction at his partner’s wanton reaction. He was such a perfect little thing.  
  
“Three!” Aziraphale cried out, as another slap hit his bottom. To Crowley’s surprise, the blond smirked, wiggling his ass again and looking back at him “You can hit harder than that, daddy. I’ll like it.”  
  
A harder and sharper slap “Four! Fuck.” He moaned as he drooped his head “Harder.”

Crowley obeyed, and by the end of it, Aziraphale was nearly sobbing in pleasure. Crowley rubbed his hands on Aziraphale’s cheeks, easing the sting “Are you okay?”  
  
“I’m fine, dear. I’ll be even better once you see fit to fuck me.” Aziraphale teased breathlessly, shivering at the dark chuckle from behind him.  
  
“Your skin gets so red…” Crowley murmured, still rubbing his cheeks “You look beautiful like this, I can see your cock weeping through those pretty panties of yours. You like this.”  
  
“Only because I trust you not to hurt me.” Aziraphale told him “I’d only let you do this kind of thing to me.”  
  
Crowley played with the plug for a bit before pulling it out of his whimpering partner “When did you put this in?”  
  
“This morning.” Aziraphale gasped as Crowley pushed in a finger “You were gone for three days and I had to take care of myself.”  
  
Crowley added another lubed finger and leaned over him to whisper in his ear “You could’ve shown me.”  
  
“How? You were in London.” 

Crowley chuckled and nipped at his ear “We facetimed every night. You could’ve shown me. Did you touch yourself before or after your call with me?”  
  
“Both.” He whimpered “It just depended on what we talked about.”  
  
“What did you think about?” Crowley nearly hissed.  
  
“You. Always you.”  
  
Crowley removed his fingers and quickly replaced them with something bigger, causing the blond to cry out “You’re such a good boy, too shy to show me those nasty things you do when you’re alone.”  
  
“I want to be a good boy.” He whimpered.  
  
“I want you to be a good little slut.” He growled, slamming into Aziraphale’s prostate, reducing him to a babbling mess “You want to be a good little slut for me, don’t you?”  
  
“Yes! Yes!”

"Say it." He growled.  
  
"I want to be a good slut for you, daddy!"  
  
Crowley fucked him with abandon, slamming into his pliant body until they both climaxed together.  
  
He pulled out, breathing heavily and leaned down to lick Aziraphale’s neck before whispering praises in his ear.

Aziraphale fell asleep nearly immediately but Crowley lay awake, lost in thought.  
  
He’d went to London to investigate more about Aziraphale’s situation and had found a link between Aziraphale’s ex and Paul Grimes, a crime boss. None of the situation made any sense and the only abnormal thing they had found in Aziraphale’s diary was his bigoted father and he and his mother taking frequent trips to France, for crepes supposedly.  
  
Aziraphale sighed in his sleep and mumbled Crowley’s name, shifting closer. Crowley softly stroked his cheek before brushing a stray hair out of his face, noting that Aziraphale seemed to be growing it out. He watched the love of his life as he lay sleeping, puzzled “What could these people possibly want with you?”

  
  
  


“I found him, for sure.” They said into the phone, taking a drag of their cigarette as they watched the last of the lights be turned off in the house “He’s got company, more than we thought.”  
  
A pause as they listened. Rosy lips curled into a smirk “Oh? Interesting, indeed. Do not worry… I will have him soon. Crowley is not as clever as he believes himself to be.”  
  
They hung up the phone and approached the house, leaving an anonymous envelope through the mail slot before leaving, their platform boots skillfully silent on the gravel driveway, a tattoo of a rose on their forearm illuminated by the pale moonlight.

None of the residents in the house noticed they had been under surveillance that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed!!! 
> 
> Aziraphale's lingerie: https://www.yandy.com/Leia-Deliciously-Playful-Bodysuit.php?gid=410908&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=1555704143&utm_content=57575534805&utm_term=410908&gclid=CjwKCAjwqpP2BRBTEiwAfpiD-2To4Xb5Wn3TF8CjsJ7tobrBq573d7WCM81JjdVKDW5NjOKz16bzXRoC3HYQAvD_BwE
> 
> **I'm also about to start on bonus chapters so if there's anything yall would particularly like to read, let me know in the comments and don't be shy! I could really go for some writing prompts just for extra practice :)


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy!!

“All I’m saying is that if you ate prunes in the morning, it could be good for your health. You’re already getting up there in age- Hey!” Alec broke off with a startled yelp as Crowley snatched his toast, biting into it, before he headed for the door to check the mail.   
  
The redhead paused at the blank envelope on the floor and almost didn’t notice when Alec crashed into him and leaned over his shoulder to begrudgingly bite the toast he held in his hand. Alec swallowed his bite as they both observed the envelope “That’s fishy.”   
  
Crowley scowled “Don’t touch it. I’ll be right back.” He passed Alec the last of the toast and stalked to his bedroom before returning with gloves, picking up the envelope and opening it carefully. Inside was a paper.   
  
**Fell Estate Winter Ball, half an hour past midnight.** **  
** **  
** **Be there.** **  
** **  
** **Bring the boy.** **  
  
**

“Wow, I suppose our mysterious friend is an idiot.” Crowley told Alec, pocketing the note “Like hell I’d bring Aziraphale anywhere dangerous.”   
  
“What do we do?” Alec asked him.   
  
“We wait. We prepare.” Crowley told him.

  
  
  
  


Aziraphale dangled a toy over Freddie and giggled as the cat desperately tried to catch it, even falling over himself. He looked up as Crowley walked in “I think Freddie gets lonely.”   
  
“How? You play with him all the time.” Crowley chuckled, approaching and settling next to his partner on the couch before bending down to scratch their cat behind the ear.   
  
“I don’t know. I just feel like he’d be happier with an animal friend around.” Aziraphale pouted.   
  
“We’ll see.” Crowley told him, kissing him on the forehead.   
  
  
Crowley was working in the garden when Anathema walked out, holding a book on botany. He glanced at her and something about the light catching her as she stood in her long skirt and flowy blouse with the floral backdrop-    
  
“Can I take a short video of you?” He blurted.   
  
She laughed, confused “Um doing what?”   
  
“Just twirl or something.” He told her, pulling out his phone “I know this is a weird request-”   
  
“I get it.” She interrupted, laughing “Aziraphale asks me strange questions all the time, with him being a writer and all.”   
  


Aziraphale watched from the kitchen window as Crowley took a video of Anathema twirling in the garden, pretending to be reading the book as she spun. He snorted to himself, they were so weird.   
  
“That doesn’t make you the least bit jealous?” Alec asked from behind him.   
  
“No, I trust them.” He laughed as Anathema tripped on a loose stone and Crowley barely caught her before she fell into a rose bush, both of them laughing “I suppose I should get jealous, my ex-best friend slept with my ex-fiance behind my back, after all, but… Neither of them would do that to me. I know that.”   
  
“You didn’t feel that way about the other two?” Alec asked, curious.   
  
“No, I didn’t. I think I knew something was going on but didn’t want to admit that to myself. With Anathema and Antony… It’s different.” He turned to Alec, beaming “I guess it’s because I’ve never truly had love before aside from my mother. Things are different now. We’re a family, aren’t we?”   
  
Alec felt something warm unfurl in his chest, he liked that thought “Yeah I suppose so.” He chuckled, approaching the window and waving at the two goofballs in the garden as they noticed the two of them by the window.   
  
Crowley blew Aziraphale a kiss while Anathema waved enthusiastically.   
  
Yeah, there was no room for petty emotions. There was too much love for that.   
  
  
Crowley looked embarrassed “There’s something I’ve been hiding from you.”   
  
“What?” Aziraphale asked, frowning “Is everything alright?”   
  
“Yeah! I erm… I’ve been painting again. Secretly.” He told him, embarrassed “I turned the attic into a makeshift studio so I didn’t get paint on anything and- well… I painted you and you can’t have it yet but I wanted to show you the paintings I did of everyone else. Christmas presents.”   
  
Aziraphale immediately sat up in bed, excited “Show me!”

Crowley blushed slightly, holding his hand out “Come on.”   
  
The attic was indeed a makeshift studio and Aziraphale giggled as Crowley hurried to go cover a particular painting up, blushing “Alright so this is it.”   
  
Aziraphale walked over to a what was clearly a painting of Newt, laying on his back with one arm tucked behind his head, another reaching out to a girl next to him in the grass- Rachel. Newt’s eyes were so expressive, gentle, and bittersweet. Aziraphale stroked the frame of the painting affectionately “He will love this.”

“This is Anathema’s.” Crowley told him, gesturing.   
  
Aziraphale laughed “Oh, so that’s what you were doing in the garden.”    
  
The painting was of Anathema reading a book, the sun’s rays catching her skin, and bathing her in a warm glow, making her look magical “I love the movement of her skirt.” He commented, “She looks beautiful.”

“You really like them?” Crowley asked, blushing slightly.   
  
Aziraphale beamed at him “Of course!”

Crowley pulled him close, still blushing, and kissed him achingly gentle “You’re so perfect. How did I get so lucky?”   
  
“Ineffability, darling.” Aziraphale teased, leaning up to kiss his partner again.   
  
  
  
Crowley scowled to himself as he met yet another rescue cat and wasn’t clicking with them. He wasn’t good with animals and he should’ve brought Aziraphale but he wanted to surprise him when he got home from class that afternoon. He had even arranged for Alec to drive him.   
  
His scowl disappeared as the rescue worker brought in a small white kitten with an orange pattern shaped like a lightning bolt over one eye. He and the kitten locked eyes as he carefully took it from the worker and the kitten began purring. Perfect.

Crowley carried the kitten into the house and was immediately met with Aziraphale hugging him “Hello darling! Classes got canceled and-” He broke off as he heard a meow “Anthony! Is that another baby!?”    
  
He carefully sat down the carrier and pulled out the kitten with a triumphant smile “Meet Davina Bowie!”   
  
Aziraphale gasped in delight, taking the kitten from him “Awe, she’s beautiful! Let’s introduce her to her brother!”    
  
They walked into the living room where Freddie was laying on his window perch. He jumped down when he saw them holding the kitten and approached. Aziraphale set the kitten down “Freddie, meet your little sister.”   
  
Freddie hissed at a confused Davina then ran off. The kitten didn’t seem phased and became preoccupied with a ball Freddie had left laying around.   
  
Crowley’s face fell “I’m sorry-” He was cut off when Aziraphale giggled.   
  
“Awe, don’t worry, my love. Freddie’s just grouchy. Just like his daddy.” Aziraphale told him, moving to play with Davina.   
  
Crowley sat stock-still, his heart racing. They’re dads. Mutual dads. To the same things. He knew he should get ahold of himself, but damn was the thought of he and Aziraphale being dads together was the best thing he could imagine.   
  
Anathema walked in and immediately rushed to greet the little newcomer and Alec and Newt followed soon after. Everyone loved the name, save for Alec who had to be obnoxious and make ‘Under Pressure’ jokes. Crowley hated that guy. Kind of.   
  
  
  


Alec barged into the house followed by Anathema, arms loaded with groceries “Okay you European bitches, let us Americans teach you about Thanksgiving.”

The ‘European bitches’ in question all looked at him blankly.

Crowley scowled “Aren’t you half french?”   
  
“Yes but my dad is a black man in the south and I was raised as such.” Alec told him “I’m an American.”   
  
“Oh, that’s awful, being American and all.” Crowley told him, mocking sympathy.

“Oh hush.” Aziraphale told him, swatting him lightly, before turning to Alec “What is Thanksgiving?”   
  
The southerner grinned “We eat too much food and be thankful for the things we have.”    
  
Aziraphale sat up then, interested “Oh!? What sort of food!?”

  


Their Thanksgiving was loud and the food was a mix of English, Southern, French, and Puerto Rican elements. They all laughed and made jabs at each other while passing around the food, eating entirely too much just as Alec had suggested. They finished the day eating angel food cake Aziraphale had made and watching Hallmark Christmas movies.    
  
Aziraphale and Crowley sat on the long part of their wraparound couch and cuddled together, legs stretched out. Alec’s head rested on Aziraphale’s thigh while his legs splayed out over Anathema and Newt. Crowley was even absentmindedly playing with Alec’s hair. Aziraphale remembered his words to Alec, about the five of them being a family.    
  
He didn’t want that to ever change.

“Next we should watch The Grinch. Crowley needs a character he can relate to.”   
  
Crowley pulled Alec’s hair, making him yelp “Why do that when you’re the smalltown farm boy on every hallmark movie?”   
  
“If I’m the smalltown farm boy then you’re the city guy that gets dumped.” Alec said something in his voice that Aziraphale recognized. He fought back his laugh. Alec had liked when Crowley pulled his hair. Too much.   
  
“Nah, we’re Hallmark the remix.” Crowley said, his voice serious.

“Why can’t we watch a movie in peace?” Anathema groaned, throwing a pillow at Crowley but accidentally hitting Aziraphale.   
  
“Why are you attacking me!?” Crowley snapped before laughing at Aziraphale’s shocked face.   
  
“She attacked me, not you!” Aziraphale whined, mock glaring at his best friend before throwing the pillow back at her.   
  
“I wouldn’t have to attack anyone if certain people could quit arguing.” Anathema shot back.   
  
“That won’t be happening.” Crowley told her.   
  
“Yeah I don’t give up easily- Ah!” He made a noise as Crowley yanked on his hair again. Yep definitely into it. Aziraphale decided to save his friend some embarrassment and removed Crowley’s hand from Alec’s hair.   
  
“Darling, please quit bullying Alec.” He murmured before leaning in and whispering “Don’t pull anyone’s hair except mine.”   
  
“It wasn’t like that.” Crowley told him, his arm sliding up Aziraphale’s waist to rest there before he kissed him.   
  
Their three companions all groaned. Alec yelled “Get a room!”   
  
Crowley flipped him off, still kissing his angel, before pulling back “We should watch Brokeback Mountain so Alec can-” He was cut off when Alec aggressively threw a pillow at him.   
  
  


Aziraphale woke up to Crowley climbing out of bed “Hmm? Anthony?”   
  
“I have to go to London for work, sweetheart. You can go back to bed, I’ll only be gone for a few days.”

“Mmm, alright.” He hummed sleepily, puckering his lips and giggling when Crowley bent down to kiss him “Be safe, alright?”   
  
Crowley paused, looking unsure before he forced a smile “Of course, angel. Aren’t I always?”

Aziraphale frowned but Crowley didn’t notice as he gathered his luggage “Goodbye angel, I love you.”   
  
  
  
The next morning, Aziraphale was tidying their room when he noticed a pair of Crowley’s pajama pants tossed in a corner behind the dresser. Chuckling to himself as he remembered how they got there, he picked them up. He frowned when a paper slipped out.   
  
He picked it up and read the note, his hands beginning to shake. Damn that overly heroic bastard.   
  
Within the hour he had booked a plane ticket to London and packed his luggage. He left a note on the kitchen counter, asking everyone to look out for Freddie and Davina while they were gone, and left without another word.

  
  
Blue eyes watched as Aziraphale walked out of the airport in London and hired a cab. This was working out perfectly.   
  
They trailed Aziraphale across London, watching as he bought a formal gown from a designer store, then a wig, and even watched in interest as he talked to some contacts agents exclusively used for gadgets and materials. What an interesting boy.   
  
“Did Agent Crowley teach you these things, little dove?” They asked rhetorically as Aziraphale departed with a duffel bag to go back to his hotel “I wonder…”

  
  
  
The night of the ball, Crowley went as himself. He was ending this, once and for all. He was tired of all the games and teasing, especially when regarding his partner’s life. So far, nothing particularly interesting had happened, save for his run-in with Raph. He had thought of when Aziraphale had told him that Raph had hit him. He briefly entertained killing him but begrudgingly decided not to in case it would upset his angel.

Oddly enough, Paul Grimes was in attendance of the ball, and Crowley had yet to see Aziraphale's father. He hadn't come across another agent so either the person who sent the letter was good at blending in or had yet to see him.  
  
  
Aziraphale took a deep breath as he entered the front doors with his forged invitation. He let the servants take his white fur wrap and he walked to the entrance to the ballroom. He took one last deep breath before holding his shoulders back and standing tall, confident in his floor-length black and white ombre gown and wearing the jewelry set he had stolen from Paul Grimes, one earring dangling from his pierced ear. He turned to the servant that announced the entrances “I’m Aziraphale Fell. Make sure everyone hears you.”   
  
The servant paled, recognizing him under his disguise, and nodded “Yes, sir.”   
  
The doors were opened for him and he walked through, fighting back his smirk as eyes turned to him, in his elaborate gown. He descended the stairs and saw Crowley across the room as he turned to look at what everyone was staring at, his eyes widening in recognition.   
  
He pulled his wig off and shook out his blond curls, a sharp smile splitting his face, as a voice rang out, loud and clear “Aziraphale Zachary Fell has arrived.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale's Bastard Mode™ - The Remix 
> 
> Aziraphale's gown: https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/marchesa-strapless-ombre-silk-tulle-gown/product/0400012583468?site_refer=NPLA_GGL_Shopping


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: They reference Aziraphale's dad being a homophobe but its brief
> 
> Also CW: Guns, violence, blood, etc

“Aziraphale Zachary Fell has arrived.”  
  
The room immediately filled with flashing lights and a roar of reporters shouting questions over each other. Aziraphale descended the stairs to greet them “Yes, I’m alive and well. I suppose you all have questions, I do too. For now, I will say that this was most definitely not a political stunt and someone has been trying to kill me nearly a year now. It’s just the damndest thing.”   
  
“Where have you been?” A reporter asked.   
  
Aziraphale looked at his partner “I’ve been in love. I’ll take no further questions.”   
  


Surprisingly, the sea of reporters parted for him, probably more intrigued with what he was going to do. He walked past his father, who was pale and looked like he’d seen a ghost. No anger though. Must not have been him who had called the hit “Hello daddy, it’s been a while. Like my dress?”  
  
“You’re dead!” His father half-shouted, clearly in shock.   
  
“No, I’ve never been more alive. I’ve been living in sin, fornicating with men, just like your pal, Raphe.” His words were sarcastic but his saccharine expression stayed.   
  
The man in question had approached and was staring at Aziraphale in surprise but… agitation. Interesting “Aziraphale?”   
  
The reporters were eating this up, good. Aziraphale smiled sweetly “Oh, hi dear. Surprised to see me?”   
  
Raphe began to stutter and Aziraphale cut him off, hazarding a guess “Like my jewelry? A gift from your uncle.” He locked eyes with Paul Grimes from across the room, his lips curling into a smirk before he turned back to Raphe, tilting his head “Sort of. If you’ll excuse me, my boyfriend is waiting.”

He walked past Raphe as the man whispered under his breath “You stupid bitch.”  
  
“Says the man who tried to fuck his own ex without recognizing him.” Aziraphale whispered back, still smiling for the reporters to see “What’s wrong? Is me being here striking a nerve?”

Raphe stayed silent and Aziraphale leaned in, curling both hands on the taller man’s shoulders and delighted to feel him trembling beneath his gloves “I don’t know what you’re playing at, my dear, but you’ve made a catastrophic mistake in thinking I’m weak.”  
  
The other man smiled then, tilting his head into Aziraphale’s space “I wasn’t the one who wanted you killed, bitch. I was against it.”   
“Oh, how kind.” He said sarcastically “Mind telling me who wanted me dead?”

Raphe jerked away from him, shaking his head, before walking away. Aziraphale huffed “Useless prat.”  
  
He didn’t jump when a hand touched the small of his back, he just leaned into the touch “Hello my love.”   
  
The music picked up and Crowley pulled him into a waltz, holding him close “What are you doing here?”   
  
“Well, it’s the funniest thing. You see, I have this boyfriend and he’s the wiliest, most cunning thing but sometimes he does silly things like walking straight into a trap thinking he can somehow protect me.”   
  
“If you knew it was a trap you shouldn’t have come.” Crowley murmured into his ear “Now I have to protect you.”   
  
“We can protect each other.” He murmured back “That’s part of being in love. I don’t want to live in a world where you can’t. Don’t go into danger to protect me and I won’t have to follow.”   
  
Crowley spun him out, then spun him back in. Aziraphale’s back was now to Crowley’s chest “You still love me?”   
  
“No, I just figured I’d have a serious domestic relationship and adopt two cats with you because I liked you a little bit.” Aziraphale murmured, feeling a soft laugh in his hair before a light kiss on the side of his face.   
  
“Paul Grimes saw you with the jewelry.”   
  
“As intended.”   
  
“What is your plan here?” Crowley asked “You’ve already blown your cover, there’s nothing to gain.”   
  
“Reactions, dear. My father didn’t seem angry I was alive, save for his apparent wish I was suffering in Hell for my hedonist crimes.” He chuckled “Raphe knows something about it but wouldn’t tell me.”   
  
“Hmm. Anything else?”   
  
“Well, I had been thinking that it was strange my father and Raphe were talking but then I listened to the surveillance on my flight here and I recognized the third voice. Raphe’s uncle.”   
  
“And?”   
  
“Paul Grimes is Raphe’s uncle. If Paul is talking to my father, my father is involved in something.”   
  
“Clever angel. But you said your father wasn’t the one who put out the hit.”   
  
“I’m not Sherlock.” Aziraphale huffed “I’m trying my best, here.”   
  
“No worries.” Crowley told him, dipping him back and swooping low with him as the song changed “We’ll figure this out.”   
  
They stood back up and Paul approached them, eyeing Aziraphale “Hello, Zachary.” He said sarcastically “Lovely jewelry.”   
  
Aziraphale mock pouted “Oh don’t be like that. You don’t think I look pretty?”   
  
“You look like a thieving slut.” Paul responded, not smiling “One with the audacity of still being alive. I don’t take kindly to thieves.”   
  
“Oh, I was on your radar before that, wasn’t I?” Aziraphale asked, raising his eyebrows.   
  
“No, but you are now.” Paul told him, discreetly pulling a gun and aiming it at him. Crowley stepped in the way immediately, facing him down.   
  
“Put that gun down.” Crowley told him “Or I will end your miserable existence and I don’t care who sees.”   
  
“I’m not the only one aiming a gun.” Paul told them, triumphant.   
  
  
They huffed as they watched the interaction between the three men from a balcony, before rushing off, high heel shoes clacking against the floor.   
  
The first henchman was a rookie, easy to find and certainly easy to discreetly kill before dragging to a cleaning closet. Now, on to number two.   
  
Henchman number two put up more of a fight but they took him down with a hairpin to the throat, huffing in irritation as their blond wig was knocked askew. They had just dragged the body to a vacated room and stepped out when he came face to face with a familiar set of green eyes “ _T’as d’beaux yeux, tu sais_ ?”   
  
Alec gave him an exasperated look “Rose, what are you doing here?”   
  
“ _Ce ne sont pas tes affaires._ ” He told him, crossing his arms.   
  
The other man looked past him, at the half closed door “I swear to god, Rose if you don’t cut the shit. Is there a body in there!?”   
  
“Oui. I suppose I could just let them shoot your _petit copain_ !”   
  
Alec gave him a deadpan look but pulled out a gun and silencer “Between the two of you, I’m going to have grey hair before I reach thirty. Where are the rest of those bastards?” He doubled back and smirked at Rose’s outfit “You look great, by the way.”   
  
“ _Mords moi.”_ Rose muttered, cleaning off his hairpin before tossing his wig to the side and pinning up his naturally black curly hair with it.   
  
The taller man saw someone approaching and took cover against the wall, rolling his eyes “You know, you can’t use that sexy French shit to get your way with me.”   
  
Rose rolled his eyes and stalked around the corner, shooting the guy in the head, before walking away, not glancing to see if Alec followed.   
  
With a sigh, Alec followed.

  
  
  


“What’s it gonna be, pal? Should we talk elsewhere?” Paul asked Crowley.  
  
“Oh, you shouldn’t go through all the trouble.” Crowley smiled too sweetly, gently nudging Azirphale to walk away “Angel, why don’t you get me and our friend here a glass of champagne?”   
  
“I’m not leaving you.” Aziraphale told him.   
  
“I’ll be right here, we just need to talk.” Crowley assured him, giving him a look that spoke volumes.   
  
Nervously, Aziraphale walked to the champagne table and turned to see Paul and Crowley walk out through a side door. He reached into the secret pocket hidden under the tulle of his dress and followed.   
  
  


“That was a useless attempt to protect him, seeing as how I can have him shot as soon as I’m done with you.” Paul told him, aiming the gun at his head “You were a fool to come out here.”  
  
Crowley tilted his head, unaffected, as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He took a deliberately slow drag and blew a puff of smoke at Paul’s face “I just wanted answers, mate. Were you the original hit or did you get your knickers in a wad because a sugarbaby robbed you?”   
  
Paul looked confused “I just wanted my jewelry back! That set is worth two billion euros and your little whore is wearing it like it belongs to him.”   
  
“Hey, finders keepers.” Crowley smirked “Don’t be so embarrassed, Paul, he robbed me too. Clever little angel, that one.”   
  
“You seem confident for a man who’s going to die.”   
  
“You know what I love about my angel?”   
  
“Why the fuck should I care!?” Paul asked, looking annoyed and cocking the gun.   
  
Crowley still looked casual and unaffected as he took another drag of his cigarette and blew “He’s so unpredictable. He looks like this sweet, delicate flower, and next thing you know, BOOM.” He watched as Paul slumped the floor, dead “He kills you.”   
  
He walked over to his angel and took the gun from his trembling hands “Go back to the party, angel, I’ll take care of him.”   
  
“I killed someone.” Aziraphale whispered.   
  
“Yeah, you killed a terrible man who has hurt a lot of people.” He kissed Aziraphale, feeling him relax slightly “I’ll be right in there.”   
  
Aziraphale nodded reluctantly and walked back into the ballroom while Crowley called the agency for body disposal. He saw a shady figure round a corner in his peripheral and sighed “Great. A witness.”   
  
  
  


Aziraphale wrung his hands as he walked back to the champagne table to actually get a drink this time. Heaven knows he needed one. He was so distracted, he bumped into someone.  
  
They were clad in a black shimmering dress and matching black Louboutin heels. They grabbed his elbow to keep him steady and Aziraphale looked up and found himself looking into blue eyes the same exact shade as his own. The man brushed a stray black curl behind his ear and smirked “ _Je t'ai cherchée partout et te voilà._ ”   
  
“Erm- I’m sorry, I don’t speak-” He gasped as the man gripped his arm tightly, too tight.   
  
“Follow me or die.” The man said, his blue eyes showing no room for disobedience. Aziraphale followed him, not wanting to make a scene.   
  
They walked down a maze of hallways and when Aziraphale felt they were isolated enough, he struck out, breaking the man’s hold on his arm and punching him in the throat. The man recovered quickly and lunged at Aziraphale but he dodged his blow, grabbing his arm and moving to flip him but the man was faster and used Aziraphale’s own grip to his advantage, slinging him into a wall “Stop fighting-” He was cut off as bullets whizzed past them.   
  
The man let out a string of expletives in french, shoving Aziraphale around a corner and taking cover behind a statue. Aziraphale took off running, removing the long skirt as he ran to reveal his tight trousers and thigh-high black boots he had hidden underneath the skirt. He had an extra gun in his holster with an attached silencer and he armed himself with it, turning off the safety as he heard approaching footsteps.   
  
  


Alec rounded the corner and let off two shots, killing two men. The third whirled to aim at him but was shot from Alec’s direction. Crowley walked past him and paused as Rose stood from behind the statue and aimed at him.

Crowley aimed his gun back at Rose “Thorn, I would say it’s a delight to see you but that’s a lie. You haven’t happened to see a pretty blond around have you?” Crowley sighed as Alec stepped into his vision, aiming the gun at him “Is this one of those double-crossing moments?”  
  
“No, I just can’t let you shoot Thorn.”   
  
“He aimed his gun at me!” Crowley said, indignant “I’m just trying to find-” He stopped talking as Aziraphale came back into view, followed by pursuers.   
  
Alec and Crowley shot both of the people chasing Aziraphale in perfect sync with a triumph that was short-lived as Thorn reached out and pulled Aziraphale close to him in a chokehold “Did you find a dead-end, little dove?” He asked sarcastically before turning to Crowley, his gun still aimed at him.   
  
Crowley looked furious “Let him go.”   
  
“Why, so you can have him as a prisoner!? I’m not leaving without him.”   
  
“Let my boyfriend go before your brains become part of the decor, Thorn. I won’t ask you again.”   
  
Alec took back up to aiming at Crowley “I already said I can’t let you do that.”

“You know, it’s bad enough you fucked my boyfriend, please don’t make this worse by protecting the guy trying to kill him.”  
  
“I’m not trying to kill him.” Thorn spat “I’m trying to protect him from you!”   
  
Alec sighed “This is what I was going to tell you. I think Thorn wants to protect him.”   
  
“From me!?” Crowley nearly shouted, turning to Rose “He’s the safest with me.”   
  
“Oh is that why you chased him across the continent just to drag him to another!?” Rose spat “You kidnapped him-” He cut off as Aziraphale giggled.   
  
They all stared at the blond and Aziraphale giggled more “I’m sorry, this is hardly a laughing matter but sir, you have the wrong impression.” Rose stared blankly at him so he continued “That wasn’t a kidnapping and he was chasing me but not without my consent.”

There was a deafening silence until Rose broke it “Why would he do this?”  
  
Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged a look, unsure how to tell a perfect stranger that the particular adventure in question basically boiled down to elaborate courting and foreplay.   
  
“To prove his intentions?” Aziraphale tried and sighed at Rose’s silence “I am grateful? That you are protecting me, I suppose, but erm… I would really appreciate it if you weren’t threatening my boyfriend with a gun.”   
  
Rose reluctantly lowered his gun and released the blond and the other two men lowered their guns as well. Aziraphale ran to Crowley   
  
Alec looked dumbfounded “You made him chase you…. For sex?”   
  
The blond scoffed “It was about more than sex…”   
  
Crowley grinned at him “He’s a hopeless romantic.”

Aziraphale suddenly stiffened, turning to him “Why are you here!?”  
  
“He’s a spy, sweetheart.” Crowley told him “You have a type.”   
  
“I most certainly do not!” Aziraphale gasped, as Crowley grabbed his hand to leave.   
  
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll discuss the rest of this at the flat.”   
  
Alec rolled his eyes at his friend’s antics and looked up to realize Rose was gone. 

“You coming? I would rather not have any more altercations tonight.” Crowley asked him.  
  
“I’ll catch up with you.” He told his friends, looking in the direction Rose went. He ran after him.   
  
  
Rose sat on the edge of a balcony, his dress catching the moonlight as he leaned back dangerously. Alec walked out “Why are you after him?”   
  
The frenchman’s lips curled viciously “‘On n'aime que ce qu'on ne possède pas tout entier.’”   
  
“Rose-” Alec began, reaching out.   
  
Rose stretched a manicured hand out, a ghost of a touch trailing along Alec's jawline before retreating “Don’t follow me, puppy.”   
  
With that, Rose flipped over the railing of the balcony and disappeared into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point y'all are probably wondering what Crowley is like when he fights... and pretty soon you're all going to get the chance to find out :)
> 
> Ps. Round of applause for Aziraphale for his stunt getting him absolutely nowhere closer to the answers he needs lol
> 
> Aziraphale and Crowley were dancing to Feelin' Good by Michael Buble
> 
> Rose's dress: https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/tom-ford-sequin-face-high-low-cady-long-sleeve-gown-prod223350032?childItemId=NMB54K3_&navpath=cat000000_cat000001_cat58290731_cat48730734&page=0&position=32
> 
> Rose's shoes: http://us.christianlouboutin.com/us_en/shop/women/galativi-strass.html
> 
> Translations for Rose's dialogue, please don't kill me I used google:  
> “T’as d’beaux yeux, tu sais?” - "You have pretty eyes, you know that?"  
> “Ce ne sont pas tes affaires.” - "None of your business."  
> "petit copain" - "boy toy"  
> “Mords moi.” - "Bite me"  
> “Je t'ai cherchée partout et te voilà.” - "I've been looking for you and here you are."  
> “‘On n'aime que ce qu'on ne possède pas tout entier.’” - "We love only what we do not wholly possess." (He wasn't answering Alec's question, but was talking about he and Alec both.) (It's also a quote from The Captive by Marcel Proust)


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!! This chapter was just weirdly hard for me to write
> 
> CW: For mild noncon and threats of noncon, violence, guns, blood, etc
> 
> **To be clear, Tracy and Shadwell are both in their late twenties/early thirties in this fic so Shadwell basically looks like '67 Shadwell in the show haha

“Are you angry with me?” Aziraphale asked him quietly as they left the building through the back.   
  
“I’m upset that you were reckless but I’m not angry with you.” Crowley told him, then tilted his head as he added: “But you are going to be punished severely for your actions.”   
  
They had almost made it to the car when they were ambushed. Crowley was shot in his arm and then hit from behind with a crowbar, his vision darkening as he saw his angel being dragged away.   
  
  


Aziraphale was dragged into a car and gagged before being tied up where he couldn’t move. Raph turned to him from the front seat “Hello darling.” Aziraphale glared at him but the man continued “I promise, I was against this but you’ve left us with no choice. That little stunt you pulled just added more players to our little game and the last thing we wanted was your family to even find out you existed.”   
  
The blond kept count of how long their drive took (eighteen minutes) and how many men he was in the van with (five) and he realized his odds weren’t good. He had seen where Crowley was shot but it didn’t look fatal, he could only hope that his boyfriend was okay and that Alec would find him soon.   
  
They exited the van and took a lift up to the roof of a building, where a helicopter sat waiting. A tall man with curly golden hair smiled charmingly at him as if he hadn’t just been blatantly kidnapped “Oh, Aziraphale, how nice to finally meet you!”    
  
Aziraphale just glared at him and the man didn’t stop smiling as he said “Ungag him and untie him. He’s surrounded.”   
  
Reluctantly, Raphe reached forward to untie him and ungag him. He had just finished pulling the gag out of Aziraphale’s mouth when the blond stomped, activating the secret knife compartment in his boot. He caught it midair before grabbing his ex and holding the knife to his throat “Let me go or I kill him.”   
  
The tall man held his hands up, looking amused “So vicious. It doesn’t fit someone so pretty. You would really kill a man you were with for so long? That you were going to marry?”   
  
“Well, he did cheat on me and was involved in a plan to kill me so I think the answer to that is a resounding yes,” Aziraphale responded, unphased.   
  
“Feisty. Listen, that’s my ward and he’s an idiot. Why don’t we talk in private? Hmm?”   
  
“I don’t even know who you are!” Aziraphale snapped, buying time.   
“My name is Lucifer Morningstar. I’m someone with answers.”   
  
“You’re also the person who tried to have me killed.”   
  
Lucifer sighed “Yes, that was me. I’m sure we can work past it if you gave me a chance. I like you, Aziraphale.”   
  
“Go fuck yourself,” Aziraphale said, digging the knife into Raphe’s neck as a warning.   
  
“Shoot them both,” Lucifer said, his face darkening as the helicopter blades began turning.   
  
Aziraphale backed away as they all took aim, feeling the back of his leg his the edge of the building. He took a deep breath and let he and Raphe fall backwards off the side of the building, feeling an explosion behind them. The fall was terrifying and he could barely think past Raphe’s frantic screaming but he managed to grab his grapple gun out of the large bow on his chest, aiming it at a nearby building and shooting. It caught a nearby building and jerked his arm, dislocating it, but lessened their fall enough so that it didn’t kill them when they rolled onto the grass.   
  
Raphe stood up, shaking, and then ran away without a backwards glance while Aziraphale caught his breath on the grass, his shoulder in so much pain he couldn’t move. After a few minutes, a pair of boots walked into his vision and he looked up and locked eyes with Lucifer, who was covered in ashes. The man pressed a boot into Aziraphale’s shoulder, making him cry out “Hello, Aziraphale. I commend your bravery but unfortunately for you, it didn’t work.” He pressed down harder with his boot and the blond blacked out from the pain.   


Crowley came to and found himself laying on a counter as Alec sewed up a bullet wound on his arm. He sprang up “Aziraphale-”   
  
“You won’t be any use to him if you can’t fight.” Alec told him, laying him back down “I contacted Thorn and several other agents I know are trustworthy. We’re getting him back.”   
  
Crowley scowled “I’m still angry over that bullshit you pulled earlier, concerning Thorn.”   
  
Alec sighed “I love him.”   
  
“I thought you said it was hate sex!” Crowley said, a bit hysterically.   
  
“It was. Sorta. At least, for that one time.” Alec said, looking sheepish.

Crowley draped his healthy arm over his eyes and sighed “You’re so fucking ridiculous. When will they be here?”   
  
“Any minute now.” Alec responded “Don’t worry. We’ll make those sonsofbitches regret fucking with our Zira.” He finished up sewing Crowley’s arm and stepped back to grab some pain pills and pass it to him.   
  
Crowley popped them and swallowed the water Alec handed him, looking enraged “I’m going to get him back. I have to.”   
  
There was a knock at the door and Alec grabbed his gun and cautiously checked the peephole before his shoulders sagged in relief “They’re here.”   
  
Thorn entered the flat first, looking around in suspicion before sending Crowley a dirty look “You lost him.”   
  
“We were ambushed.” Crowley countered warily.   
  
Thorn was followed by two familiar faces, Shadwell and Tracy. Shadwell grinned when he caught sight of Crowley “Oi! Long time no see!”   
  
“Yep, been a while.” Crowley agreed awkwardly “Five years?”   
  
“Yeah, something like that. Buenos Aires was fun.” Shadwell winked, referencing the time he and Crowley had were both assigned a mission there and things got out of hand and they spent the night having some really intense sex. Fun. Awkward now. But fun at the time.   
  
Crowley winked back before turning to Tracy “Hi there, haven’t seen you since Japan. Three years?” They had fun as well but their version of fun was taking down a yakuza boss.   
  
Tracy grinned at him “I heard you fell in love and I’m happy to hear it. Now, we should make a plan to find the dear.”   
  
Thorn rolled his eyes and stalked toward a counter before laying out a map with a few drawings on it “I was tracking Lucifer Morningstar, who I believed was behind this and I placed a bomb on his helicopter. My only worry is getting to him in time before he puts Aziraphale on that helicopter.”   
  
  
  
Aziraphale woke up strapped to a chair. He winced at the pain in his shoulder before looking up and seeing Lucifer in the room with him “Oh, you’re awake.” The man commented, stepping forward until he was directly in front of him “You were so misbehaved, I don’t understand why Agent Crowley would keep such a disobedient thing around.” Aziraphale stiffened but the man continued, grabbing his knees and spreading them apart as his hands drifted up the blond’s inner thighs “I wonder what he did to break that spirit of yo-” He was cut off as Aziraphale spat in his face.

Lucifer seemed calm as he wiped the spit off his face but Aziraphale felt a sharp slap across his face faster than he could blink. He spat at Lucifer again “Touch me and I’ll kill you.” Another slap, this one jerking his entire body with the force of it before Lucifer grabbed his hair and harshly yanked the blond to face him.   
  
“You’re not in a position to be such a feisty bitch,” Lucifer told him.   
  
Aziraphale laughed in his face as he felt a trickle of blood roll down his chin “You’re so fucked.”   
  
“Big words for a boy who’s tied up,” Lucifer commented.   
  
“Crowley is going to find you and he will kill you. I wouldn’t even be able to stop him now, seeing as how you bruised me and made me bleed.” He tsked at the man “Bad move.”   
  
“Are you implying to me that he keeps you around because he cares about you? Not because of the blood that runs in your veins?”   
  
“What do you mean?” Aziraphale asked, wincing as the man let go of his hair and stepped back.   
  
“Oh, precious Aziraphale. I didn’t put a hit on you because I necessarily wanted you dead.” The man smirked, “It was a test of your abilities.”   
  
  
Crowley sank to his knees as he watched the building collapse in front of them, the helicopter blowing up had started the fire “He’s dead.”   
  
Alec touched his shoulder in sympathy but Crowley didn’t even notice as he stared at the flames “Somebody killed my angel!” He screamed, the tears pricking his eyes “Bastards! All of you!”   
  
“What do we do?” Alec asked him softly, his own voice choked. Thorn was forlornly staring into the fire with silent tears running down his face.   
  
Crowley stood, putting his glasses back on “We kill them all. I don’t want a single one of those bastards spared.”   
  
  


“My abilities?” Aziraphale asked, disbelieving “I was an ordinary college student! My abilities were speed reading and being a foodie, for christ’s sake!”   
  
“Is that really all?” Lucifer asked, lifting a brow “Because I heard that you outran one of London’s top agents for a full three weeks.”   
  
“I just took notes from him-”   
  
“You reportedly assassinated Paul Grimes, a major crime boss.”   
  
“He was threatening my boyfriend-”   
  
“Your book. You mentioned your own little coded language?” Lucifer asked, grinning “A family trait, you know. Your mother had her own little journal.” He pulled an old leather journal from his pocket “It’s so funny how she went into hiding. She had so much potential.”   
  
“Why- Why did you know my mother?” He asked shakily.   
  
“She was one of us before she defected, decided that a family was more important to her than being something great.” He shook the book at Aziraphale “Then the bitch had the gall to be dead when I finally located her. I figured you’d be useless but then thought that I might as well test you, see what you’re made of. I wanted to see if you could adequately do the things I needed her to do.”   
  
Aziraphale eyed him coldly “When Crowley gets here, he’s going to kill you and if he doesn’t, I will. I’ll make you suffer.”   
  
“He’ll be dead before he even reaches the front gates of this compound.” Lucifer laughed “It’s so cute how you have so much faith in him. I may just capture him than make him watch as I break you and make you submit to me. Oh yes, that’s what I’ll do.” He left the room.   
  
  


Crowley approached the compound alone, holding up his gun “I just want to talk, guys! Let me in to see your boss?”   
  
The guards looked hesitant but a voice crackled through the walkie and they let Crowley approach before patting him down for hidden weapons, finding none.   
  
The redhead pulled out a cigarette and lit it, smirking at the guard’s confusion as he counted them. Five. Doable.   
  
“Now is not the time for a smoke break.” The one closest to him said.   
  
“I’m sorry, I get bad nerves.” He smiled apologetically as he blew out a puff of smoke before placing the cigarette between his lips and pulling off his glasses. He plucked the cigarette back out of his mouth “Killing is such a nasty business. But what makes it worse- Oh so much worse- is how much I enjoy it.”    
  
One of the guards lunged forward to hit him with his gun but he was faster, grabbing him by the arm and twisting it around, using his semi-automatic rifle to shoot his friends before bashing the guard’s nose in with his elbow three times, killing him. The altercation had lasted less than ten seconds. He took one last drag and dropped his cigarette on the guard’s corpse before turning around and signalling at the rest of his group to follow.

Alec whistled as he approached “Showing off?”   
  
“They all had semi-automatic assault rifles. If we showed up, guns blazing, they could’ve mowed us down.” Crowley pointed out, using one of the guard’s hand to open the gate before dropping his body unceremoniously on the ground.   
  
The compound was elaborate and the five of them opted to split up, Crowley going by himself while the other four went in sets of two. He killed everyone he came across without hesitation or mercy until he came across a door with two armed guards. Strange.

“How long do you think it’ll take for the blond to give in to Lucifer’s demands?”   
  
“A week, give or take. Sooner if Lucifer isn’t too afraid to mark up his skin.”   
  
Crowley rounded the corner and shot both of them before rushing to open the door, his hands trembling with the overwhelming hope that flooded him. He stepped into a dimly lit room and nearly sunk to his knees in relief “Aziraphale? Is it really you?”   
  
“Of course it’s me, you idiot! Who else would-” He was cut off when Crowley rushed across the room and kissed him, a hysterical laugh bubbling out of him.   
  
“I thought you were dead.” He half laughed, half sobbed into his boyfriend’s hair.   
  
“I’m alright… well somewhat. My shoulder is dislocated and Lucifer bruised my cheek.” Aziraphale told him softly “Please untie me so I can hug you. I was frightened.”   
  
Crowley pulled back and smirked slightly “We haven’t done much bondage but…”   
  
Aziraphale giggled “Leave it to you to make a pass at me while we’re in danger.” He paused for a moment, blushing before adding “I wouldn’t mind terribly if you wanted to tie me up.”   
  
The redhead moved to untie him “I love you so fucking much.”   
  
“I love you so fucking much too.” Aziraphale cooed, leaning forward to kiss his boyfriend as soon as he was free “Thank you for the rescue.”   
  
“Oh don’t thank me. I thought you were dead and we may or may not be on a revenge mission.”   
  
“‘We?’” Aziraphale questioned.   
  
“Me, Alec, Thorn, Tracy, and Shadwell. You haven’t met Tracy yet but she’s surprisingly sweet for a spy and she’s married to Shadwell… and I may or may not have slept with Shadwell five years ago on a mission. Full disclosure.”   
  
“Well, I slept with Alec after I met you, I’d hardly get jealous over a man you slept with before we met.” Aziraphale chuckled “This will be interesting though.”

They exited the room and stopped when they saw a gun pointed at Aziraphale. Lucifer clicked his tongue as he approached “I thought what we had was special, Aziraphale. Why are you running away?”   
  
Crowley stepped in front of Aziraphale, putting himself in harm’s way “What do you want with him?”   
  
“His mind. He knows how to decode his mother’s work, I know it.” Lucifer growled, “Now give me the boy.”   
  
Crowley pulled a gun, eyeing the man “That won’t be happening.”   
  
“I could just shoot you,” Lucifer told him.   
  
“You could,” Crowley agreed, cocking his gun “But I could shoot you faster. Do you feel lucky?”   
  
Lucifer smirked “Yes.” He moved to pull the trigger then paused, looking to his right “Oh, another one of you?”   
  
Thorn stepped forward from the right, Alec beside him “Drop your gun, Lucifer. It’s over.”   
  
Lucifer moved fast as he swivelled and pulled the trigger, aiming at Rose. Alec jumped in front of him and slumped to the floor, bleeding out of his chest.   
  
Rose took the moment of distraction to shoot Lucifer in the head, not even paying attention as he slumped to the floor. Rose pulled Alec into his lap “Alec!”   
  
Alec smiled weakly “Sorry I’m so dramatic.”   
  
Rose began crying “ _Ne meurs pas dans mes bras maintenant._ ”

The other man grinned, taking a shallow breath “ _Je vous aime plus que tout._ ” Alec’s eyes drifted closed.   
  
Crowley leapt into action, picking Alec up “Thorn, I know you’re upset but you need to listen to me. We’re going to get him to a hospital.”   
  
Thorn nodded mutely and stood, his hands stained with Alec’s blood. Aziraphale felt a knot in his throat as he picked up his mother’s journal and the two of them followed after Crowley.    
  
  
Nine agonizing hours later, the doctor came to the three of them “Which one of you is his emergency contact?”   
  
“I am.” Rose spoke for the first time since Alec had closed his eyes “I’m… I’m his husband.”   
  
“He died on the table but we were able to resuscitate him. He’s in stable condition now if you would like to see him. Only one visitor at a time for now.”   
  
Rose nodded mutely and stood, turning to them “I…” He took a shuddering breath and wrung his hands “I suppose I owe you an explanation, Aziraphale, but…”   
  
Aziraphale grabbed the other man’s wringing hands to still them “It’s fine. He’s what’s important right now, yeah? We can talk when he’s better. Call us if anything changes.”   
  
Crowley and Aziraphale watched as Rose walked away, his gait so burdened and unsure as opposed to his usual unaffected mannerisms. The two of them left and went to the Mayfaire flat, heading straight for the shower.   
  
They held each other, not sexually, just intimately “I was so scared, Crowley.”   
  
“I know, sweetheart, but we’re all okay now,” Crowley assured him, his lips against his damp curls.   
  
They dried off before going to bed, still holding each other tightly “Do you really think he’s going to be alright?” Aziraphale asked him softly.   
  
“Yeah, he’s going to be fine.” Crowley assured softly “Alec is the toughest guy I know and one bullet isn’t going to take him down, not that easily.

“Tomorrow we should bring Thorn a change of clothes and something to eat, he’ll need it.” Aziraphale murmured “I can’t imagine how he’s feeling. If that were you…”

“I can imagine. He’s going to need support right now while Alec is recovering.”   
  
They drifted off, exhausted after such a long day, but kept their phone nearby for updates on Alec’s condition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Alec :( He's gonna be okay though!! Don't worry!!
> 
> "Ne meurs pas dans mes bras maintenant" - "Just don't die on me yet"
> 
> "Je vous aime plus que tout" - "I love you more than anything"


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Shows up ten days late with Starbucks* Wassup guys? *nervous laughter*
> 
> ANYWAYS I hope you all enjoy and sorry for the delay! I had writer's block on this fic and was working on a new fic in the meantime!
> 
> I think the writer's block hurdle is fixed now though so YAY <3
> 
> CW: Spanking with both a hand and a belt, Daddy kink (because lbr Aziraphale definitely has it and it was time Crowley indulged him) and... that's about it

Alec opened his eyes groggily, his vision slowly coming into focus. He was suddenly aware he was attached to several wires leading to monitors. He winced at both the pain and the memory of what had happened. He thought that was it for him, that he was going to die. For Rose, that was a price he’d gladly pay for his safety.   
  
He registered the weight on his hand and was able to turn his head slightly, it taking too much effort to do so. Rose laid there, holding his hand and leaning on the side of the bed. How long had he been here?   
  
“R-Rose?” He rasped out.   
  
Rose opened his eyes sleepily, looking unguarded for a moment, before sitting up straight. Alec didn’t know what to expect but somehow the mix of tears and anger wasn’t it.   
  
“Tu es vraiment idiot,” Rose said angrily, tears flowing freely down his cheeks “J'ai eu peur, un moment.”   
  
“Je ferais tout pour toi, Rose,” He murmured, his voice raspy.   
  
Noticing this, Rose let go of his hand and reached over to pour him a glass of water before helping him to adjust his bed to an almost sitting position. He was still crying and his face was flushed red as he helped Alec sip from the cup “Je t'aime aussi, Alec.”   
  
“We need to talk, don’t we?” Alec asked him in English.   
  
“Yes, I suppose.” Rose murmured, setting the cup on the bedside table before ringing for a nurse “We can talk later, alright? Focus on healing first.”   
  
“You won’t disappear?” Alec asked softly.   
  
There was a pause, a sigh, then a steeling of shoulders “Never again.”   
  
  
  


Aziraphale clutched Crowley’s hand nervously as they approached Alec’s hospital room “I don’t know if I’m ready to see him like that, hurt.”   
  
Crowley squeezed his hand “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. Alec will understand.”   
  
“I’ll do it. For him.” Aziraphale said, his shoulder slumping “My mother passed away in a hospital and… well, I suppose I’m nervous that Alec is in one.”

His boyfriend brought their joined hands up and kissed the back of his hand “He’s going to be okay and if it gets to be too much for you, we’ll leave. Alright?”   
  
“Alright.”   
  
They reached the door and knocked before entering. Thorn was sitting on the chair next to the bed and barely looked at the two of them as they came in. Alec was hooked up to a bunch of wires and quite honestly looked terrible but he was smiling so Aziraphale took that as a good sign “Hey y’all!”   
  
“Damn, Alec, you look awful.” Crowley teased.   
  
“You should see the other guy.” Alec quipped before holding a hand up to Rose, who was poised to smack his arm “Hey! You can’t hit me when I’m on the verge of death like this!”   
  
Thorn rolled his eyes but lowered his hand “You’re ridiculous.”   
  
Alec looked offended “I took a bullet for you!”   
  
“Do it again and you will wish the bullet had killed you.” Thorn shot back “That scared me.”   
  
“You almost being shot scared me!” Alec shot back.   
  
Crowley and Aziraphale exchanged a knowing look. Aziraphale walked to the edge of the bed and lightly touched Alec’s shoulder “I’m glad you’re okay.”   
  
“Me too!” Alec said, back to being chipper as ever “I see you had your arm fixed.”   
  
“Yeah, did it in the bathroom.” Crowley cut in, sounding proud of himself.   
  
“Of a hospital?” Thorn inquired, arching a brow.   
  
“Aziraphale is scared of doctors. It’s okay, I know how to make him not scream.” Crowley assured. The blond flushed red to the tips of his ears while Alec smirked and Thorn looked unamused.

“Crowley!”   
  
“What!? I do!” Crowley asked, defensively.

  
  


Crowley wheeled Alec out of the hospital on the day of his discharge and the younger man stretched his arms toward the sky “I forgot what the sun felt like!”   
Aziraphale rolled his eyes “You’re so dramatic. You had a window in your room.”   
  
“It’s different!” Alec insisted as he stood up from the wheelchair “I was going stir-crazy in there.”   
  
“Then don’t get shot next time.” Thorn told him, frowning.   
  
Alec pulled him into a loose hug, wincing slightly at the pain but not letting that hinder him “Awe, kitten, I told you it wouldn’t happen again.”   
  
To both Crowley and Aziraphale’s shock, Thorn blushed “Don’t call me that in front of people.”   
  
Aziraphale shot Crowley a questioning but bewildered look and the older man shrugged before turning to their friend and acquaintance “Let’s get a move on. I’d like to get back to the states before any of Lucifer’s men find us.”   
  
  


They opted to go to the Mayfaire flat where Thorn promised he’d explain his side of things. Crowley walked through the door ahead of them, walking toward the living room, before he froze in his tracks.   
  
A young man sat on their sofa, accompanied by two more young men, a young woman, and absurdly, a dog. There were also a few henchmen scattered about but they didn’t seem poised to fight.   
  
“Who the hell are you?” Crowley growled, “Why are you in my flat?”   
  
“I wanted to talk to you. I’m Adam, Lucifer’s son.” The golden-haired man said, eyeing them “I understand my father caused a lot of trouble for you.”   
  
“Yes, he did.” Crowley snapped.   
  
“I’m taking over the organization in the wake of his passing.” Adam continued, ignoring Crowley’s tone “I’ve never been into the whole ‘fighting to see who’s side is best’ and world war type thing so I wanted to let you know you won’t have to worry about me. In fact, I think Mr. Fell should burn the book his mother wrote.”   
  
“How benevolent of you.” Crowley sneered.   
  
Adam held his hands up in mock defense “I’ve never got along with my father and I’ve always hated his policies. Our organization was founded on the principles of maintaining freedom, not causing wars, and selling sensitive information to the highest bidder. I want to go back to what we were meant to be.” He stood and whistled at his dog to follow him “Nice talk. I doubt we’ll be seeing more of each other in the future.”   
  
Aziraphale spoke up then “Wait!”   
  
The young man paused “Yes?”   
  
“How old are you?” Aziraphale asked, frowning.   
  
“I’m seventeen.” Adam told him, smiling wryly “Too young for this, right?”   
  
“Well, what I mean to say is… isn’t that a bit stressful for someone your age?”   
  
“It’s what I want to do, to make a difference,” Adam told him, his hackles rising.   
  
Aziraphale smiled “I just mean that if you ever need a breather, someone to talk to, anything, you can call me? I know you may not have got along with your father but I lost a parent too and I know how hard it can be.”   
  
The boy in front of them looked misty-eyed. “I’d like that.” He choked out.    
  
“Here’s my number and I’m always one call away, alright?” Aziraphale assured him, ruffling his hair.   


  
After the teens left, Crowley whirled on Aziraphale “What the fuck was that!?”   
  
Aziraphale sniffed haughtily “He’s a boy who just lost his father and inherited a legacy bigger than we can comprehend. He doesn’t have older guidance, most likely.”   
  
“His dad tried to hurt you!”   
  
“The sins of the father are hardly his son’s fault!” Aziraphale snapped.   
  
Thorn cut in, finally “Speaking of, we need to talk.”   
  
They all sat down and Aziraphale made them tea. Thorn waited until he was back to begin “You told me while we were in the hospital, what Lucifer had said about your mother.” Aziraphale nodded, watching with held breath as Thorn steeled himself before continuing “I knew about that.” He stopped there.   
  
Everyone stared at him.   
  
“And…?” Aziraphale prompted, eyebrow arched.

Thorn arched his eyebrow as well “And…?”   
  
Crowley realized something then, what had been bothering him about Thorn’s face the entire time Alec had been in the hospital. He stood up and grabbed Aziraphale before guiding him to sit next to a confused Thorn “Make that face again, both of you?”   
  
Twin faces of confusion blinked back at him “What face?” They both asked, in unison.   
  
He eyed them for a long moment before turning to Alec “Really!?”   
  
Alec blushed “What!?”   
  
“They look nearly identical!” Crowley told him, a knowing look on his face.   
  
“Oh, that’s because we’re cousins.” Thorn cut in “Our mothers are twins.”   
  
They all stared at him.   
  
“What?” He asked, crossing his arms.   
  
“Maybe just lead with that!?” Alec almost shouted.   
  
Aziraphale was staring at him, pale “Is that true?”   
  
“Yeah, and my mother is still alive. So is my older brother, Gabriel,” Thorn told him, his voice soft “They’ve all been wanting to meet you and I was actually sent to collect you but then Crowley and Alec hindered my progress.”   
  
Aziraphale surged forward and hugged the other man, shocking him “I have family!?”   
  
Thorn hugged him back hesitantly “Yes, a rather large one when you begin to include our distant family.”   
  
The blond pulled back, misty-eyed “May I call you ‘Rose’ as Alec does?”   
  
“Of course,” Rose said, ruffling his hair absentmindedly.

Crowley gave Alec a judgemental look, mouthing ‘You have a type.’   
  
Alec flipped him off.   
  
  
  
Aziraphale stepped through the front door of their home and was immediately greeted by their cats. He stooped down to coo at them and pet them as Rose entered the house behind him, hesitantly “This is Freddie Mercury and this is Davina Bowie. They’re mine and Crowley’s babies.”   
  
Rose stooped down to introduce himself to the kittens, praising them in french. Aziraphale stood up just in time to be tackle-hugged by Anathema “I’m so glad you’re home!” Newt came out of nowhere and joined in on the hug. The three of them pulled apart and Azirapahle made quick introductions.   
  
Crowley came inside as the introductions were finishing up, carrying his and Aziraphale’s luggage. He eyed the blond for a moment and jerked his head in the direction of their bedroom. Oh, the punishment. Aziraphale had nearly forgotten.   
  


They took a shower first, lazily kissing under the spray of the water. Crowley touched him a bit, stroked his cock, just light enough to be teasing.   
  
When they left the shower and toweled off, Aziraphale went and took his usual place, kneeling in the center of the room.   
  
Crowley sat on the edge of the bed, naked, and eyed him sternly “You know why we’re here?”   
  
“Yes, sir.”   
  
“Then get on with it.”   
  
“I’m sorry for disobeying you sir, for putting myself in danger,” Aziraphale said, his voice small.   
  
“You will be.” Crowley said “Get on the bed on your hands and knees. I am going to be rough with you and it may hurt, be sure to use your word if it gets to be too much.”   
  
Aziraphale walked to the bed before shyly moving into the position his dom had asked of him. He felt lubed fingers stroking his hole before breaching him roughly. He moaned, low in his chest as he rocked back against the intrusion “Crowley!”   
  
Crowley added another finger, cooing at Aziraphale when he howled “Look at you, so eager for punishment. Sometimes I think you do these things on purpose, to toy with me until I snap.”   
  
“Nononononononono! I promise I try to be a good boy!” He gasped out.

“Poor job of it, seeing as how we’re here right now.” Crowley sneered, roughly pressing his fingers against Aziraphale’s prostate, causing him to start babbling. He pulled out his fingers before spreading the blond’s cheeks apart to press in a plug “I’m going to spank you, is that fine?”   
  
“Yes!” Aziraphale gasped, panting.   
  
“I’ll spank you fifteen times with my palm and another five with the belt.” Crowley told him, massaging his cheeks with both his hands, pulling them apart to see the plug peeking out of Aziraphale’s hole “If you can’t handle anymore, say your word. I’ll stop.”   
  
“I know you will.” Aziraphale murmured, sighing when Crowley grabbed his chin to turn the blond’s face to kiss him.   
  
“I love you.” Crowley cooed, kissing him again.   
  
“I love you as well, dear.” Aziraphale sighed back, wiggling his arse against Crowley’s crotch “When are you going to punish me, dear? I’ve been looking forward to it.”   
  
“Is it really a punishment then?” Crowley teased, nipping Aziraphale’s bottom lip before pulling back and getting back into the scene “Count for me. If you lose count I start over.”   
  
Crowley started out firm but gentle, but his slaps grew harder and sharper as they count got higher. Aziraphale didn’t mind it though when his boyfriend was rough with him. He arched his back one final time as he cried out “Fifteen!”   
  
He felt hands massaging his arse as he shivered “Good boy, good boy.” The hands left as Crowley reached over and grabbed the belt, cracking it sharply across Aziraphale’s oversensitive skin, causing the blond to cry out “Yeah that’s right, angel. Scream for me.”   
  
“Anthony!” He shouted as another crack sounded throughout the room. He slumped his head, panting and taking the next slap with a whimper. He wasn’t counting but Crowley could tell the blond was a bit out of it so he just stroked his back, letting him breathe for a moment.   
  
“Just two more and then I’ll make it good for you, okay?” He cooed before pulling back and slamming the belt against his flesh.    
  
Aziraphale moaned loudly and wiggled his butt, taunting the last hit, which came shortly after. He heard the belt be tossed to the side as Crowley climbed on the bed, sitting on his knees “Come here, angel, sit on my lap.” He pulled the oversensitive blond onto his lap, aligning his back against his chest “You were such a good boy, just for me.” He praised as he reached down to remove the plug, causing the blond to whimper. He made a soothing noise as he reached over and grabbed the lube, slicking up his cock “I’ll fill you up, don’t worry.”   
  
Aziraphale made a needy noise at that, his noises becoming higher pitched as his boyfriend expertly slid into him, bottoming out with a low groan “You always feel so fucking tight, angel,” Crowley growled in his ear as he began shallowly thrusting up into him, gripping the blond’s hip to keep him on his lap while his other hand slid up the curve of Aziraphale’s tummy to clutch his throat firmly while not pressing down “You can be so misbehaved but deep down, you’re my perfect little angel, aren’t you?”   
  
“Yes sir!” Aziraphale gasped out as his boyfriend’s cock hit his prostate.   
  
“You know… you called me daddy a few times…” Crowley murmured suggestively.   
  
“Daddy…” Aziraphale gasped, timidly as if he thought Crowley would change his mind.   
  
“That’s right, angel.” Crowley murmured, thrusting in a bit harder.   
  
“Daddy!” Aziraphale moaned, significantly louder.   
  
Crowley moved the hand that was gripping his boyfriend’s throat up to his chin to turn his face and smother him with kisses as he continued to thrust into him “Yeah, you’ll be a good boy for your daddy in the future, won’t you?”   
  
Aziraphale giggled, a bit breathlessly and broken between moans but a giggle nonetheless, clearly pleased that Crowley was going along with his daddy kink “Yes, daddy.”

Crowley’s hand gripping his hip slid along curvaceous, sweat-soaked skin to grip the blond’s weeping cock and he began tugging at him, causing the blond to tremble and shake in his lap, clearly approaching his climax. “Come for me, angel,” Crowley growled in his ear, grinning when his sub came on command, crying out and slumping backward against his chest.   
  
The blond panted for a bit, catching his breath “I liked that position, dearest.”   
  
Crowley hummed, kissing along his boyfriend’s shoulder while still inside of him “I had planned on dragging this out but truth be told, I’m tired.”   
  
Aziraphale giggled as Crowley playfully shoved him off his lap and face-first on the bed. He felt Crowley’s eyes on the spend dripping down his thighs. “Like what you see, dearest?”He purred.   
  
“Obviously.” Crowley answered back “Just debating on if I’m too tired to lick it out of you.”

The blond whimpered “Anthony-”

“You know what?” Crowley said, spreading the blond’s ass apart to reveal his hole “I can sleep anytime.”   
  
“Well, technically you could also do this anytime- Oh!” Aziraphale broke off with a moan as he felt his boyfriend’s tongue on him “Yes! Yes, dearest! Just like that!”   
  
Crowley pulled back, chuckling “When did this evolve from punishing you to pleasuring you?”   
  
“Oh honey,” Aziraphale murmured teasingly, looking over his shoulder to face him, “I think it’s time you knew… spanking is hardly a punishment when you like it.”

Crowley playfully smacked the side of his thigh, taking care not to hit where the blond was sore and returned to his previous activity.

  
  
  


They sat in the tub, Aziraphale leaning against Crowley’s chest as he piled an absurdly high pile of shampoo into his hair “It’s exciting, that my family will be coming to meet me.”   
  
“I bet,” Crowley murmured, kissing his shoulder before returning to lathering the shampoo “Especially your aunt, I wonder if she’s anything like your mother. They were twins, after all.”   
  
“I wish mother would have told me,” Aziraphale murmured softly “Rose and I could’ve grown up together.”   
  
“You’re still young and have plenty of time to bond,” Crowley assured.   
  
“Anthony… You know that you’re my family too, right?” Aziraphale asked softly “I know we’re not married or have any plans for that or anything but… I really love you and I consider you my family.” Crowley sat stock-still, too shocked to speak, and Aziraphale rushed on “Well, you, Newt, Anathema, Alec, and Rose now too, we’re family and we stick together. I never had that with anyone but my mom.”   
  
Crowley hugged him from behind, burying his face into the blond’s neck “Of course we’re a family, angel. You won’t be alone ever again and I will make sure of that until my dying breath.”   
  
“Do you promise?” Aziraphale asked, his voice choked.   
  
“I promise, Aziraphale. You are everything to me and this family, this life we’ve made together means so much to me. I won’t ever let anything jeopardize that. Not ever again.”

He held the blond as he cried, clutching him tightly, and as for the drops rolling down his own face, who’s to say they weren’t bathwater?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose: I have the answers you need!
> 
> Also Rose: /he protecc, he attacc, he doesn't give anyone the information they lack
> 
> Ps. If yall want a bonus chapter of Alec/Rose and their past (which has the same energy of Aziraphale and Crowley's European chase, just let me know lol
> 
> I hope yall enjoyed the "Oh that too" plot twist about the cousin thing lol haha
> 
> Translations:  
> Tu es vraiment idiot - You are such an idiot  
> J'ai eu peur, un moment - You scared me for a minute  
> Je ferais tout pour toi, Rose - I'd do anything for you, Rose  
> Je t'aime aussi, Alec - I love you too, Alec


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *bangs pots and pans* Christmas in June!!
> 
> Anyways, fluff, fluff, and more fluff

Aziraphale nervously ran his hands down his apron, his nerves running amok “Oh dear, what if they don’t like it?”   
  
Crowley grabbed his fluttering hands and brought them to his lips “If they don’t like your cooking, they lack taste buds. It’s going to be alright, angel. They’ll love you. They’d be idiots not to.”   
  
The blond found himself blushing and smiling, despite himself “Oh- Oh thank you. That’s so kind of you to say.”   
  
His boyfriend smiled, kissing his nose before pulling back “You also look incredibly sexy in that apron…”   
  
“Oh hush, you fiend. My family is on their way for Christmas dinner..” Aziraphale chastised without heat, swatting him with a spoon.   
  
“Yeah so if we’re quick…” Crowley trailed off, nipping at his neck in a way he knows makes his boyfriend melt.   
  
Aziraphale’s knees almost buckled but he managed to push away from his boyfriend’s fiendish clutches to aim a spoon at him threateningly “Get thee behind me, foul fiend!”   
  
The doorbell rang and both men looked in the direction, paling. Aziraphale smiled at his boyfriend, gesturing “After you.”   
  
Crowley rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s attempt at tricking him into answering the door, but considering the blond’s bad nerves, he didn’t comment as he opened the door for their guests.

A large man and three women stood at the door. The woman in front, middle-aged, spoke up first, her french accent as strong “Oh, you must be Mr. Crowley.” She looked past him, her face brightening and breaking out into a smile Crowley knew by heart, the same smile as Aziraphale’s “Oh, Aziraphale. You’re so lovely.” She stepped forward, holding out her hands for a hug, smiling warmly as the blond’s eyes filled with tears “Come, give your aunt Eva a hug, I believe we both would need it.”   
  
The blond rushed to her, holding her tightly as sobs wracked his frame “You look just like her.”   
  
“So do you, dear,” Eva said, holding him closer as Rose and Alec descended the stairs together.   
  
Aziraphale pulled back, sniffling “Oh, where are my manners? Do come in…?”   
  
The large man stepped forward, smiling widely and holding out his hand for Aziraphale to shake while speaking in an American accent “Gabriel. I’m glad to finally meet the baby cousin the family’s been raving about.”   
  
“Move Gabe,” A bored London accent spoke up as a redheaded woman with a short-cropped cut pushed him to the side and grabbed the shocked blond’s hand to shake “Michael. A pleasure.” She gestured at the dark-skinned woman with a short hairstyle who stood next to her “This is my fiance, Uriel.” Uriel smiled politely and inclined her head.   
  
“It’s so nice to meet you all,” Aziraphale said, beaming and grabbing Crowley’s hand “I’m Aziraphale but I suppose you all know that already and this is my boyfriend, Anthony.”   
  
Michael looked amused “The one that chased you across Europe? It was so amusing to hear of Rose’s progress in tracking you down. He had even come close and the two of you drove off a bridge?”   
  
Crowley blushed, clearing his throat “Not my finest moment. I didn’t realize that was him, we were already being chased at the time.”   
  
Gabriel gave them a conspiratorial wink “Don’t tell him we told you, he’s a sore los- Ouch!” He broke off at a well-placed smack to his head by a short and fuming Frenchman.   
  
“I heard that, you jerk,” Rose snapped.   
  
Aziraphale glanced awkwardly at Crowley and his boyfriend got the message “Why don’t yall join us in the living room? We can introduce you to the rest of our makeshift family and eat some appetizers. Aziraphale’s cooking something wonderful at the moment.”   
  
Eva smiled at the blond “May I join you? To keep you company?”   
  
The blond led her into the kitchen and gestured awkwardly “I’m sorry it’s a mess at the moment, I’ve been cooking all morning.”   
  
“I was never one for cooking but Eden always said that if your kitchen wasn’t a mess, you weren’t cooking correctly,” Eva mused, walking over to the window “What a lovely garden. I bet it blooms beautifully in the spring.”   
  
“Oh, thank you! Anthony’s got a green thumb and he’s worked hard to make the garden as lovely as it is. He’ll appreciate the compliment.” Aziraphale gushed, proud of his boyfriend.   
  
Eva gave him a knowing smile “I was worried when I heard you were alone after my sister’s passing but… I can tell you’re loved here.”   
  
“I am, very much,” Aziraphale said, blushing “I love him very much as well.”

His aunt rolled up her sleeves and began washing her hands “What can I help you with? I’m not good in the kitchen but I’m your mother’s twin, how hard can it be?”   
  
He showed her how to use the cookie-cutter properly and set her on that while he put some finishing touches on the rest of dinner, chatting and catching up as they bustled around the kitchen. Crowley poked his head in “Need anything, angel?”   
  
“You to entertain our guests!” Aziraphale said, in a mock scandalized voice as his boyfriend approached him to give him a quick kiss.   
  
“Newt, Anathema, Alec, and Rose are all adults and can handle entertaining a few guests,” Crowley told him, mock pouting “I missed you.”   
  
“You wily thing,” Aziraphale giggled “Fine, if you want to help would you mind setting the finished food on the table? Oh, and a few wines to compliment it.”   
  
“Sure thing, angel,” Crowley said, grabbing a platter of food and walking into the dining room.   
  
Eva nudged his side “So, when is the wedding?”   
  
“Oh hush, you,” Ezra murmured shyly, blushing.   
  
  


Michael gasped as they all sat down for dinner “I’m impressed, you cooked all of this yourself?”   
  
“Anthony helped a bit with the prep work but yes, I wanted to make something special for our first Christmas together,” He glanced around the table at both the family he just found out he had and the family he made for himself. He was blessed beyond measure. He wished his mother were here.   
  
Crowley must’ve noticed something in his expression because he reached over and lifted his hand to kiss his knuckles “It looks delicious, my perfect angel who is the most talented man I’ve ever met.”   
  
He heard his cousins and friends snicker and he blushed “Hush, you fiend, and carve the turkey.”   
  
“Yes, sir,” Crowley winked as he stood up “This is usually the part where people pray but we’re not all religious so a toast instead?” He grabbed his glass of wine and so did everyone else “To family, of course,” He glanced at Aziraphale “To love, to Christmas slash Yule slash Hannukah- does anyone have anything to add? We’re a diverse household and this whole thing is just 'Holidays- The Remix'” When no one spoke up, he continued “And most importantly, to new beginnings. Can I get a wahoo?”   
  
“Wahoo!” Everyone chorused, clinking their wine glasses and giggling. Crowley winked at Aziraphale as if to say ‘See? Nothing to stress about.’ The blond beamed at him as food began being passed around the dinner table and chatter picked up. He remembered before when he told Alec that he was happy to finally have a family. He never imagined it’d double in size, that he’d find out he had blood relatives and that his mother had a twin that was so like her, it was uncanny.    
  
  
Later that evening, everyone sat around, drinking eggnog and exchanging gifts. Eva grasped Aziraphale’s hands firmly, placing something small in his palm “This was your mother' s and your grandmother’s before that and her grandmothers, and so on. She gave it to me when she decided to completely leave her old life behind for your sake to remember her by, but I kept it in hopes of one day being able to pass it to you.” She removed her hand to reveal a gold locket with angel wings and a family sword engraved on it. Inside was a picture of Eden and a picture of Aziraphale as a small child.   
  
“It’s so beautiful,” He breathed, tearing up, “Thank you.”   
  
Crowley reached over to help him put it on, smiling softly at him “Beautiful, like always.” He stood up, kissing Aziraphale on the forehead “I have to get everyone’s gifts from me from the studio. I’ll be right back.”   
  
Newt tossed a package at Aziraphale, yelling “Yeet!”   
  
The blond caught it, laughing as he opened it to reveal tartan thigh-high boots. The blond hugged the boots to his chest “You really know me!” He gushed.   
  
Anathema handed him a package, much gentler than her boyfriend had and the blond passed her the gift from him. They simultaneously burst out laughing because they had gotten each other vintage books.   
  
Crowley eventually returned, holding several wrapped canvases before gently leaning them against the wall, coughing awkwardly “So as you know, I started painting again and erm... Well, merry Christmas or whatever.”    
  
He passed a canvas to Newt first, watching with misty eyes as his best friend took in the painting, his chin wobbling “This is beautiful, Crowley.”   
  
Crowley cleared his throat and passed a canvas to Anathema and Alec. The painting of Anathema was one Aziraphale had already seen and he smiled knowingly as Anathema squealed in delight “This is so amazing!”   
  
Alec’s painting was him in the garden, holding a butterfly on the tip of his finger, looking thoughtful “Wow, Crowley, this is amazing.” He gasped, a smile spreading across his face.   
  
Crowley pointed an accusing finger at Rose “You came in so late and had the audacity to make me like you, so here.” He grabbed a canvas and roughly shoved it at the confused Frenchman. Rose opened it to find a portrait of him glaring at something in the distance. Rose actually smiled at Crowley then.    
  
The redhead paused at the last canvas, blushing before grabbing it and handing it to Aziraphale “I erm.. I hope you like it.” He looked embarrassed. Aziraphale smiled softly as he unwrapped it, the smile dropped as he looked at the painting, shocked.   
  
Everyone in the room fell silent at the sight of it.   
  
Aziraphale felt tears well up in his eyes as he stared at the painting. He had drawn Aziraphale as an angel, midflight. Smiling and reaching out to someone or something that was out of the ‘picture.’ The feathers and details were lined with gold paint and the clouds were saturated with so many vibrant hues. A few black feathers were in the corner of the canvas, undoubtedly belonging to whoever Aziraphale was reaching for. His face was so full of pure love and adoration… he had never seen that look on his face. Then, he realized, Crowley had. He hiccuped a small sob “I love it.”   
  
Crowley looked panicked, “No don’t cry!” He looked around the room, “Why is everyone staring at me?”   
  
Rose gestured at the painting of Aziraphale “If you could do that, why the hell are you in the business you’re in?”   
  
Newt pointed at Rose in agreement.   
  
Gabriel spoke up “I actually know some galleries in California that would be willing to look at your work if I put in a good word. That is if you’re willing to retire.”   
  
Crowley gaped at them “I’m- I didn’t even finish art school.”

“You don’t need it, that sort of passion can’t be taught. The others were good but how you captured Aziraphale was breathtaking.”   
  
The redhead blushed, sitting down and wrapping an arm around his still-emotional boyfriend “I don’t know…”   
  
“Just think about it?” Gabriel suggested, “I’m sure Bea wouldn’t mind if you retired, especially with your track record.”   
  
Crowley blinked at him “You know Bea?”   
  
“Bea and I are married,” Gabriel laughed, “Why do you think they were so willing to help you protect him?”   
  
The redhead paled, looking shaken “Well, that’s a thing.”   
  
Aziraphale gently sat his canvas down and hugged him “I felt so loved, looking at that.”   
  
“Because you are, loved I mean.” Crowley murmured, brushing a curl behind his ear “You’re more precious to me than anyone or anything on this earth.”   
  
“I love you,” Aziraphale whispered.   
  
“I love you too,” Crowley whispered back.   
  
Newt grabbed the cat’s stockings and pulled out their toys one by one and tossed them at them, making everyone laugh as the cats scrambled desperately to catch each new gift.   
  


  
When it was time for everyone to leave, Eva stopped at the door and hugged Aziraphale tightly “Be sure to visit and I will as well.”   
  
“Of course!” Aziraphale enthused, hugging her back just as tight. Rose stepped up to hug his mother goodbye as well before she left.   
  
Rose turned to him, smiling “What did you think?”   
  
“I love them,” Aziraphale breathed softly.   
  
“We love you,” Rose told him, uncharacteristically soft “Next time we should visit them at the manor in France, you’d love it. You can’t get good crepes anywhere but France. And the brioche.”   
  
Aziraphale laughed and Rose laughed with him.   
  
  


Crowley pulled out of Aziraphale with a groan before flopping next to him on the bed and pulling him close, both of them panting from exertion.   
  
Aziraphale absentmindedly toyed with the hairs on Crowley’s heaving chest “Did you think about it? The art thing?”   
  
Crowley sighed “I have and I still don’t know. I dropped out of art school when Rachel- When she passed. I resumed it as a hobby and didn’t imagine I’d have the chance at making a career out of it. That is if the gallery would even accept my work.”   
  
“Whatever you choose, I’ll be proud of you,” Aziraphale murmured.   
  
“I know. I love you, so much.” Crowley said, cupping his cheek and stroking his thumb across a flushed cheekbone “You’re so perfect and you’re mine. I never believed in a god but if there was one, I think she would’ve made you just for me.”   
  
“And you just for me,” Aziraphale said back, smiling softly “I love you so much too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you all enjoyed and please be sure to leave comments and kudos, I live for them <3


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update!!!! Was having slight writers block! lol

Crowley smirked as his oblivious boyfriend applied his makeup in the bathroom mirror. The blond noticed and pulled away from his reflection to pout at him “What is it?”  
  
“Nothing,” He said innocently “You look beautiful is all.”   
  
“Uh-huh,” Aziraphale replied, looking unconvinced as he turned back to the mirror “Please do keep in mind you promised me my birthday would be simple and that you’d take me out for a nice dinner and leave it at that. You better not have something ridiculous waiting for me downstairs.”   
  
Crowley walked up behind him, trapping his angel between his body and the bathroom counter as he ran his lips up the blond’s neck to his ear “I may have crossed my fingers a little.”   
  
“You fiend,” Aziraphale sighed, giggling as Crowley kissed his neck.   
  
Aziraphale paused at the base of the stairs and looked around before giving Crowley a wary look “You’ve all but admitted you’re hiding something and I don’t see it in here.”   
  
“Funny that,” Crowley smirked.   
  
“It better not be another car,” Aziraphale warned him, heading for the door and turning back to him as he opened it “I’ll be rather cross with- Ah!” He shrieked as he was suddenly pulled into a hug “Paul! Sammy!”   
  
The elderly men hugged him tightly “About time you got your ‘tush out here!”   
  
“I tried to rush him,” Crowley assured, chuckling at his boyfriend’s expression.   
  
Aziraphale fanned his face “I just did my makeup and now I’m all emotional and about to cry and ruin it!”   
  
“Oh honey, don’t cry when you look that amazing,” Paul told him, laughing softly and ruffling his hair.   
  
“How did you-” He broke off and turned to Crowley “You wiley thing.”   
  
“Guilty as charged. Now let’s hurry and make it on time for our reservation, I’m sure our companions are up for a nice meal and then a good sleep.”   
  
  
“-and next thing I knew, I was dangling off a ledge with this goth guy who’s screaming at me in French how incompetent I am…. Obviously not knowing I’m half French and speak it fluently-”   
  
“-As if I wouldn’t have called you incompetent regardless, mi amor,” Rose interrupted him teasingly before sipping his wine and smirking at the other man over the rim of the glass “Do continue.”   
  
Alec smiled and winked “In the end, he helped me up and we handled the mission we had been assigned to. Afterwards, we went out for drinks and I woke up the next morning with Rose pointing a gun at me and yelling in French, still not knowing I’m half French.”   
  
“Oi, what would he be yelling at you for after that?” Crowley asked, amused.   
  
“He said my-” He cut off, blushing “Well it was personal but someone thought I had intentionally seduced him.” He laughed at Rose’s scoff before continuing “And after that, we kept running into each other and we grew closer each time. Then we got married-”   
  
“Oh dear lord,” Aziraphale interrupted this time before chugging his wine in one go and flicking his hand at Alec “Were you married when-”   
  
“Separated. But technically….” Alec trailed off.   
  
“I’m a homewrecker,” Aziraphale moaned, laying his head on the table as Crowley rubbed his back.   
  
“The home wasn’t wrecked, don’t worry angel,” Crowley crooned before grinning at Alec and winking.   
  
Alec blushed and wrapped an arm around Rose “If it helps, Aziraphale, it was a vegas wedding and not one of our finest moments of drunkenness.”   
  
Rose actually laughed at that “Our officiant was a drag queen dressed in cowgirl gear.”   
  
“Fuck, she was amazing at it though!” Alec enthused, tipsy, and making the group laugh “Remember her eyeshadow?”   
  
“Mhmm I wore that black dress,” Rose grinned at him.   
  
“God, you looked beautiful though. It was the only thing I remember vividly, besides the drag queen of course. Damn, I wish we remembered her stage name.”   
  
Paul and Sammy were laughing heartily at their story before dying down. Paul rubbed his husband’s back soothingly “We married as soon as it became legalized, though we’ve been living as a married couple since our early twenties and had an unofficial ceremony in twenty-eleven. Aziraphale and Eden attended the wedding. They had become our neighbors a few months before and we had hit it off with the two of them.”   
  
“Oh! I remember how lovely both of you looked in your pastel suits,” Aziraphale gushed, grinning “Remember when I argued with that street artist about your wedding gift?”   
  
“I did!” Sammy laughed “What was it that he had said? Something about how it was a stupid request to paint two ducks getting married?”   
  
Crowley stiffened next to Aziraphale as the blond laughed “My god! Yes! I remember I argued with him until he caved. I felt so proud of myself for winning that argument. I don’t remember much about how he looked but he was so intimidating with his all-black outfit. I yelled at him about his cigarette too.”   
  
His boyfriend shifted uncomfortably “Aziraphale?”   
  
Aziraphale turned to his boyfriend, frowning at his expression “Yes?”   
  
“Did you…. Did you ask that the ducks wear pink and blue ribbons?”   
  
“Yes, and he said this stupid thing about gender norms and-” He broked off as realization washed over him. He burst out laughing “Anthony- that was-”   
  
“I never forgot that!” Crowley said, laughing too “I was just selling my art for extra cash and then this boy comes to me with the most idiotic request-”   
  
“It was not!” Aziraphale mock gasped at him “Paul and Sammy met at Hyde Park while they were both feeding the ducks!”   
  
“Alright, but you wanted gendered ribbons!”   
  
“Pink and blue happen to be their favorite colors! I was being thoughtful and didn’t expect to have to argue with a college-age guy over a stupid painting.”

Paul and Sammy were giving them a strange, amused sort of look. Sammy laughed lightly “The two of you are something else.”  
  
Newt snorted “I actually remember Aj cursing up a storm over a brat wanting a, keep in mind I am quoting this, ‘a heteronormative bullshit painting of the worst creatures on the face of the bloody planet.’”   
  
The whole group was laughing at this point and Crowley looked defensive “Well he-”   
  
“Oh! I’m not done,” Newt continued, interrupting him and mocking Crowley’s voice as he quoted him again “‘Then he had the bloody audacity to tell me that cigarettes are bad for me. Jokes on him because being straight is worse.’ Keep in mind, he was saying this to his straight best friend while unknowingly talking about the future love of his life who is ‘gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide,’ as he puts it. Rachel made fun of him about it for a solid week after she found out he caved in after you told him off.”   
  
“I needed the money-”   
  
“I underpaid you,” Aziraphale laughed “I was young and didn’t realize it until just now but you were severely undercharging.”   
  
“I- I didn’t charge you as much,” Crowley mumbled, embarrassed “You were clever so I felt like I should cut you some slack. Maybe I was just a little impressed and that’s why you pissed me off so much.”   
  
“Awe, how sweet,” Aziraphale teased him, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek “I love you.”   
  
“I love you too, you brat,” Crowley told him, laughing softly before giving him a kiss on the lips. 

“Imagine being in love with a guy that got cowed by a fourteen-year-old while in college,” Alec teased.  
  
“Imagine being in love with a guy who can’t even open a pickle jar despite having massive hands,” Crowley shot back.   
  
“At least I have something massive!” Alec shot back, looking triumphant.   
  
Aziraphale choked on his drink as Crowley smirked, “Alright Alec, whatever you say. You still had to ask me to open the pickle jar and I stand by that.” 

“Why do you look so smug?” Alec asked.  
  
“We have a common variable that makes different noises at different depths if you catch my drift. I can draw my own conclusions.” Crowley spoke low enough for only their end of the table to hear before he smirked and winked, sipping his drink.   
  
Alec blushed and pouted slightly, making Aziraphale and Rose laugh.   
  
“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Crowley sighed, chuckling before dropping his voice even lower “Size doesn’t matter anyway and according to Mr. Variable yours is thicker.”   
  
“Oh get a room, you two,” Rose chided.   
  
“See, I asked Aziraphale if we could but he said no,” Crowley sighed, mock pouting at Aziraphale when the blond swatted him.   
  
Alec pouted at Aziraphale too “You’re no fun.”   
  
“Oh, the two of you are going to team up now?” Aziraphale asked, laughing “That’s a surprise.”   
  
“I will team up with the literal devil for sexual purposes,” Crowley winked at Aziraphale before sipping his wine and leaning in to give his boyfriend a kiss.

“Insatiable fiend,” Aziraphale chided, his cheeks warm from both their conversation and the wine.  
  
Anathema burst out laughing, drawing their attention to where she and Sammy and Paul were caught up in a conversation. Crowley smiled at Aziraphale “So, did you like your birthday surprise?”   
  
“I did,” Aziraphale told him happily, “Thank you, that was so sweet of you.”   
  
“I’m not sweet.” Crowley groused.   
  
“Of course not, darling,” Aziraphale teased “How delightedly evil of you to pay for people I view as grandparents to fly across the globe to come to visit me for my birthday.”   
  
“Better than a car?” Crowley asked teasingly.   
  
“Yes, way better.”   
  
  
“Anthony, do you mind telling me what this is about?” Aziraphale giggled as his boyfriend set up a picnic blanket and a basket in the garden outside their house “Aren’t picnics usually during the day? Perhaps in warmer weather?”   
  
“I brought blankets!” Crowley said defensively, sitting down “And hot cocoa!”   
  
“Oh, I can’t say no to cocoa!” Aziraphale giggled as he joined him and allowed his boyfriend to wrap a blanket around the two of them and cuddle up to him before handing him a thermos of cocoa.   
  
“There’s a meteor shower tonight,” Crowley informed him just moments before lights began streaking across the sky.   
  
Aziraphale gasped, leaning against his shoulder as they both watched “My mom and I watched a meteor shower once. I was just a kid then and she told me that the lights were angels flying by to check on their loved ones and let them know that they’re angels now and will always be watching over them.”   
  
“That’s a nice thought,” Crowley told him softly.   
  
“Hey mom, I know you worried I wouldn’t have anyone to look after me but I do now, I have a family now and it’s bigger than I ever imagined,” Aziraphale spoke softly, silent tears streaming down his cheeks “Crowley is part of that family, so Rachel if you’re up there you don’t have to worry. He’s going to be alright and so is Newt. Anathema and I are looking out for them like they do for us.”   
  
Crowley felt tears prick his eyes, as he pulled Aziraphale closer to him as they watched the meteors “I- I didn’t think I’d ever love again after I lost Rachel and how I feel for you scared me to death but… Aziraphale you have to know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He murmured softly before looking up as the last of the meteors made their way across the sky “Eden, Rachel. You don’t have to worry about us, we’ll be okay and I’ll make sure of that for the rest of my life.” It almost seemed like the last two of the meteors shown brighter for a moment before going out of sight. He held his trembling boyfriend in the darkness as a thought came to him “Aziraphale, the night we met… you had this look in your eyes… do you want to talk about it?”   
  
Aziraphale shook his head, and clung to him tighter “Just a dark place that I never want to be in again.”   
  
“You won’t be there ever again,” Crowley assured him softly, pulling him closer.   
  
He realized the truth of that as he said it, along with another realization that was a long time coming.   
  
When he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life making sure Aziraphale was safe and happy… he truly meant that. That sent him reeling with a mixture of nervousness and excitement.   
  
Later, after Crowley had made love to Aziraphale to ensure he slept soundly, he gently left the bed and got dressed before going into the office and pulling up a search engine on his computer and researching custom engagement rings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make something clear: Alec and Rose weren't together when Alec and Aziraphale slept together. They were legally married in Las Vegas but under aliases, so that's only *hand wiggle* on even being legally married, thus why Rose isn't upset at Alec about it
> 
> **Also, Crowley's peen is longer than Alec's but Alec's is thicker than Crowley's so arguably there isn't much of difference in volume of peen, just shape
> 
> Crowley just won't miss and opportunity to counter Alec's clapbacks
> 
> Anyways *bangs pots and pans together* YA BOY WANTS TO PROPOSE


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for unhealthy amounts of fluff and some smut.. as a treat :)

Aziraphale slid out from the vent ducks and onto his boyfriend’s shoulders, reaching up and screwing the vent back into place before being let down. He smirked as he held up a usb drive.   
  
“You are incredible,” Crowley told him, grinning “I also want you to know I appreciated the view of your ass while you crawled into the vent and your thighs around my neck when you came down. Good form.”   
  
“You fiend,” Aziraphale chastised without heat, his smirk growing as his boyfriend’s hands roamed to cup his ass through the thin material of his dress “We’re on the job, dear.”   
  
“Fair point,” Crowley agreed reluctantly before pulling away “But later, I will be giving you a thorough talking to.”   
  
Aziraphale giggled, “Can’t wait.”   


  


Aziraphale stretched out in his pajamas as Crowley brought him tea. Strangely enough, he was holding the flash drive from earlier. Crowley was assigned a recon mission in London and he had dragged Aziraphale along this time, despite his earlier talk of retirement. They were currently at the Mayfaire flat, spending the remainder of the week with their heads down. Aziraphale’s fame had skyrocketed since the holiday ball at Fell manor and the reveal that he was, in fact, alive. They could barely go to dinner without being accosted by the media or fans and for someone who was an assignment, Crowley didn’t seem concerned.    
  
“So, wanna see what’s on the flash drive?”   
  
“Isn’t that for us to give to Bea?” Aziraphale asked him skeptically. He hadn’t met his cousin, Gabriel’s partner yet but they sounded terrifying and the last thing the blond wanted was to get on their bad side.   
  
“Well… yes. But haven’t you ever wondered? Wanted a look for yourself?” Crowley asked him, holding the USB drive in his outstretched palm.    
  
Feeling like Eve before she bit into the serpent’s apple, Aziraphale grabbed his laptop and took the USB from his boyfriend and plugged it in, allowing the download. He didn’t know what he expected but it certainly wasn’t a slew of pictures of a cottage. He frowned “What is this about?”   
  
Crowley frowned as well “Hmm, I don’t know angel. Maybe we should check it out? There’s a file with the address there.” He pointed at a file on the screen labeled ‘home information.’   
  
“South Downs?” Aziraphale read aloud, confused.   
  
“We should check it out, get out of the media’s eye for a bit. What do you say?”   
  
Aziraphale smiled “A drive in the countryside does sound rather lovely. I can bring biscuits in case we get peckish.”   
  
  


Aziraphale looked confused as they pulled into the driveway, past a for-sale sign “This house is for sale… why would we need information on it?”   
  
Crowley’s lips twitched as he got out of the car and walked around to open his angel’s door “Beats me. Maybe we should investigate further, maybe look around inside?”   
  
The blond accepted his boyfriend’s hand as he exited the car, looking skeptical “Anthony is there something I should know?”   
  
“No, why would you ask?” Crowley asked quickly. Too quickly.   
  
Deciding to drop it, Aziraphale looked at the cottage. It was a charming thing with a sloped, rounded roof, numerous windows, and a lovely walkway and garden. There also seemed to be a guest building behind it.   
  
Crowley pulled a key out from under the mat and opened the door, leading Aziraphale inside. The blond appraised the interior, a mix of vintage and modern in the most charming sense, before turning to his boyfriend “So, an actual cottage this time?”   
  
The redhead grinned “Yeah, I admit our home in America isn’t quite as much of a cottage as I advertised.”   
  
“Crowley, you didn’t have to buy another house,” Aziraphale told him.   
  
“I didn’t. I was actually going to discuss it with you because well, your name will be on the deed and I don’t want to make major decisions like this without you.” Crowley told him, achingly sincere as always. He shrugged sheepishly “Besides, Alec and Rose are going back to work and Newt wants to return to London and Anathema is going with him. There’s nothing left for us there.”   
  
“Well, let’s get a wiggle on so I can see the rest of the house!” Aziraphale told him excitedly, walking ahead of him down a hallway “I cannot believe you bamboozled me with a phony mission!”   
  
“I told you I was retiring to try my hand at being a professional artist. If you chose to overlook that, it’s your own fault!” Crowley shot back, laughing.

Aziraphale placed a picture of him and Anathema on a shelf in the library of their new home before wiggling excitedly “That was the last of it! We’re officially moved in.”   
  
Crowley approached with a bottle of wine and two glasses, handing the blond one before pouring for them both with a familiar look on his face “Well, not officially. A home is not a home until it’s properly broken in.”   
  
The blond smiled over the rim of his wine “Oh? What exactly needs to be broken in?”   
  
“We’ve had more sex in America than in the UK, it’s so wrong.” Crowley sighed as if pained as he cornered his boyfriend against the bookshelf and took a slow deliberate sip of his wine before licking his lips suggestively “I do believe that needs amending, don’t you?”

“I suppose so,” the blond agreed, leaning up and kissing him before pulling away and sitting his half-drunk glass of wine on a nearby coffee table and smiling as his boyfriend did the same “Shame to waste good wine…”   
  
“You won’t be saying that in a moment,” Crowley told him, gripping his hips and pulling him into a bruising kiss before roaming his hand’s over his bottom and down the back of his thighs before picking him up.   
  
The walk up the stairs was perilous but the two of them didn’t care as they crashed onto nearly every surface, horizontal or no, on their way to their new bedroom in the house they both owned. Together. It was a nice feeling.   
  
Speaking of nice feelings…   
  
Aziraphale arched his back, gasping as Crowley latched onto his nippled while pushing in a finger “Anthony!”   
  
“I’ve got you, angel,” Crowley pulled back to growl before attacking his mouth again, his tongue roaming against the blond’s desperately before he pulled back. Aziraphale sucked on his boyfriend’s long tongue as he pulled out and Crowley paused to stare at him for a moment before his lips curled into a smile “I fucking love you. So much.”   
  
“I fucking love you so much too,” Aziraphale replied breathlessly before hooking his arms around his boyfriend’s neck to pull him into another desperate kiss. He gasped against his boyfriend’s mouth as another finger breached him and pushed against his prostate with practiced ease. Crowley smiled against his gasp before resuming control of their kiss, deepening it as he slid his free hand along the blond’s curves.   
  
Eventually, Crowley pulled his fingers away, chuckling when the blond whined as he positioned himself between Aziraphale’s spread legs and lubed himself up before aligning himself with Aziraphale’s entrance and pushing in with a grunt “Fuck, angel, you’re so good. So good for me.”   
  
Aziraphale made a noise at the praise, desperately reaching out to him and pulling at him. Crowley complied with a soft smile, meant only for his angel, as their bodies aligned without space between them as he made love to him. Crowley ran his nose up his angel’s neck and along his jaw before nuzzling against his ear “I love you,” He told him, breathless as he continued to roll his hips against the love of his life “I love you so much it hurts. And I’m one lucky bastard because you love me too.”   
  
Aziraphale made a helpless but happy noise and Crowley made a soothing noise in response, reaching up to push sweaty blond curls from his forehead before kissing him there and moving back to his ear “I love every inch of you. Every curl, every freckle, every curve and roll, every stretch mark, those intelligent blue eyes that always captivated me. You’re so gorgeous and you don’t even know it.”   
  
The blond blushed and buried his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder as Crowley reached between the two of them and began working Aziraphale to completion “I’m yours, angel. I’ve been yours from the moment I met you for the second time, in that bar. You turned my entire world upside down and now…” He gasped as Aziraphale clenched around him, signaling his impending orgasm “-And now you are my world.” The blond came with a shout and Crowley followed soon after, thrusting as deep inside him as possible as he released before pulling out with a hiss, rolling off his angel, and cuddling against him.   


“You’ve been awfully sweet lately,” Aziraphale murmured teasingly, still breathless, as he cuddled against his boyfriend’s chest.   
  
Crowley stroked idle fingers down his naked back, a soft smile on his face that the blond couldn’t see “Have I?”   
  
“You didn’t do something silly, like buy me another car did you?” Aziraphale asked, sounding distressed.   
  
“No, you silly angel. I didn’t buy you a car.”   
  
That isn’t to say he hadn’t bought anything.   


Aziraphale sighed in relief after leaving the bank. He had to go through all sorts of channels after revealing that he was alive just to get his bank account opened and the royalties from his book back as a form of income. Dreadful business but when your boyfriend has connections to higher-ups in the government and your best friend is a computer hacker, it helps tremendously.    
  
His publishing company had actually given him back pay for the time he was missing, dropping a substantial amount of money into his account. He smiled as he got in his car. He’d been thinking a lot lately, about his future and what he wanted for both himself and the people he loved the most… and well, he couldn’t let Crowley take charge forever, could he?

  
  
“So I was thinking we can throw a small party sometime soon,” Aziraphale told Crowley over dinner before waving his fork at his pasta “This is absolutely divine, by the way. Thank you for cooking dinner.”   
  
Crowley looked contemplative for a moment before he brightened, getting a strange look on his face “That’s a great idea, actually! Let’s invite the whole lot, even that Adam kid you’re so fond of.”   
  
Aziraphale and Adam had taken to texting on a daily basis and now even facetimed from time to time. He was an intelligent kid and Aziraphale had been wanting to invite him over for a while now “Oh, that sounds delightful!

  
  


“Adam, be a dear and carry the glasses out while I carry the lemonade,” Aziraphale handed the boy a tray of glasses and shooed him through the door before grabbing the pitcher and following after. Crowley stood at the grill, arguing with Alec over how to cook steaks. The blond shook his head at the scene before joining Rose and Anathema at setting up the table.   
  
“Listen, I’m telling you that if you want your steak well-done, you need to leave and never come back,” Crowley told Alec.   
  
“That’s a bit rude,” Alec laughed as Crowley pulled the steaks from the grill, leaving one on for Alec to have a well-done steak “Awe, you’re so sweet, daddy.”   
  
Crowley waved a grill-fork threateningly at him “Call me that again and you will die.”   
  
Alec burst out laughing and Crowley’s lips twitched slightly as he finally pulled Alec’s from the grill.   
  
Crowley glanced over the make sure Aziraphale was out of earshot “This is the most terrifying thing I’ve done in my entire life.”   
  
“Remember that time in France when you were fighting that guy in the rafters of the cathedral and he kicked you off and then you grabbed onto the rafter last minute and swung up to kick him off. That wasn’t scarier?”   
  
“No. That was just me being amazing, as always,” Crowley told him distractedly, looking worried “What if he says no? His ex-fiance was terrible and what if it swore him away from marriage? What if he doesn’t intend to stay with me forever because-”   
  
“Whoa! Chill,” Alec grabbed his shoulders, laughing “Breathe. He’s gonna say yes.”   
  
“He’s right,” Newt piped up from behind them. He gave Crowley a sad smile “Rachel would’ve wanted this, so don’t get in your head about that either.”   
  
Crowley smiled, reassured as he set the steaks to the side and motioned for Anathema and Rose to grab their cameras. Adam and The Them looked confused while Paul and Sammy clutched at each other’s hands. He glanced nervously at Eva and she gave him a reassuring smile while Michael and Gabriel gave him double thumbs up. Bea just rolled their eyes and flipped him off.    
  
He walked up behind his boyfriend, who was distracted setting the table and leaned in to whisper in his ear “Close your eyes and don’t turn around until I say.”   
  
Aziraphale huffed a small laugh but complied, backing away from the table a bit “Is this a prank?”   
  
“No, a surprise,” Crowley told him, pulling the ring box from his pocket and getting on one knee behind him.   
  
“Oh, dear,” Aziraphale said, sounding stressed, “I told you no about a car!”   
  
“It’s not a car,” Crowley laughed.   
  
“Oh-Oh good,” Aziraphale sighed before tensing again “It’s not expensive as a car is it?”   
  
“Well….” Crowley trailed off, unsure how to word this. It was actually more expensive than what most people paid for cars but Aziraphale didn’t necessarily have to know that, “In some cases, I suppose so.” There. That was safe.   
  
The blond giggled “Oh, goodness. I’m stumped. What is it?”   
  
“Open your eyes and turn around,” Crowley told him, more nervous than he’d been in his entire life.   


Aziraphale turned around… and just stared at him, his mouth opening and closing.   
  
Crowley tried to keep the waver out of his voice as he began to speak “Will you-”   
  
“Yes!” Aziraphale blurted, blushing and clutching his hands to his chest “Yes!” He repeated.   
  
“Angel, I haven’t even asked yet,” Crowley laughed, his tension leaving him. Aziraphale said yes. His angel, his whole world, wanted to marry him too.   
  
“Well erm… I haven’t either so…” Aziraphale began, sounding embarrassed “I’m sure you were wondering why I wanted all of our loved ones here.”   
  
Crowley blinked at him, still awkwardly holding up the ring box as everyone began to laugh. Why were they laughing!?   
  


Aziraphale reached a shaking hand into his pocket and pulled a ring box out as well before kneeling in front of Crowley and holding it out “Will you-”   
  
“Fuck yes!” Crowley blurted, torn between laughing and crying. He turned to their family and friends, apologetic, before turning back to his angel “Sorry for the profanity during our proposal. Heck yes!”   


Aziraphale laughed wetly as he held out his hand for Crowley to slide a golden engagement ring with a large blue gem and two medium-sized diamonds nestled next to it “It’s beautiful…”   
  
Crowley blushed, holding out his hand and letting Aziraphale place a ring on his engagement finger with a shaking hand. He huffed a wet laugh as well, drawing in a shaking breath as he looked at the ruby nestled into black metal with inlaid diamonds woven in “It’s so fucking goth, I love you so much.”   
  
“I love you so much, too,” Aziraphale told him, tears spilling down his cheeks as he lunged forward to give his now-fiance a hug.   
  
Crowley returned the hug, holding him tightly and making soothing noises, periodically kissing him on the cheek and temple before pulling back, wiping a tear from a round cheek “Let’s get food, yeah?”   
  
“You know me so well. I was feeling rather peckish,” Aziraphale told him as Crowley helped him to his feet.   
  


“Well I’d hope I know you well enough, seeing as how I’m marrying you,” Crowley quipped, pleased at both the truth of the statement and how his angel blushed in response.

  
Dinner was rambunctious after that, everyone getting excited over wedding plans and shouting out ideas over each other.   
  
Eva laughed, turning to Aziraphale “He called me, you know, to ask permission. It was so darling.”   
  
Aziraphale blushed “I just wish mom were still here. She would’ve loved him.”   
  
“Yeah, she would’ve,” Eva gave him a warm smile “Any man that can make you smile like that would’ve got her immediate approval.”   
  
The blond’s chin wobbled as he smiled and squeezed her hand. She squeezed back. Rose spoke up “Do I have to wear a stupid color at your wedding?”   
  
“Probably,” Aziraphale quipped, laughing.   
  
Rose looked offended but then laughed slightly, nudging his leg with his foot under the table “Congratulations. You look happy.”   
  
Paul leaned across the table conspiratorily “Now I suppose Sammy and I need to repay the favor by arguing with a handsome young artist about commissions.”   
  
Aziraphale burst into a fit of giggles and Crowley overheard from beside him and scoffed “I am not going through that again.”   
  
“But you love me,” Aziraphale cooed playfully.   
  
Crowley leaned over and gave him a quick kiss, “I do. I really do.”   
  


Aziraphale's engagement ring:

  
Crowley's engagement ring:  
  
Their house (At least similar):  
<https://search.savills.com/property-detail/gbpwrscli199089>  
  
It's in the wrong area but the actual house itself had the vibes I wanted for them lol They use the guest house as a studio for Crowley's paintings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're stupid and share one brain cell, therefore are perfect for each other


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end! I just wanted to say this has been so fun to write and seeing everyone's comments and theories have absolutely made this all worth it! Much love to all of you <3
> 
> CW: For super brief homophobia but Rose handles the situation

Aziraphale frowned as he browsed through the venues on his laptop. None seemed to be what he was looking for. He sighed before reaching over and grabbing his cup of cocoa. Crowley, who was sprawled across the sofa with his feet in his fiance’s lap, looked over at him “Alright, angel?”   
  
“None of these venues seem to be what I want,” Aziraphale pouted. 

Crowley just chuckled and wiggled his shins, jiggling the laptop with them “Move this, and I can see the screen and help you.”   
  
The blond complied and his fiance moved closer to him on the couch, eyeing the screen “Yeah, I see what you mean. Maybe something with a little more drama?”   
  
“Oh, we do love drama,” Aziraphale agreed with a smile as his fiance brought his hand to his lips to kiss the ringed knuckle “We also love old things.”   
  
“Dramatic and old?” Crowley echoed, thinking to himself. He brightened “A castle!”   
  
“Anthony-”    
  
“Come on!” Crowley nudged him, smirking “Don’t act like you don’t want a fairytale wedding in a bloody castle. We can wear old fashioned suits…”   
  
“If we can wear tartan bowties, you have a deal,” Aziraphale told him, smirking back.   
  
“Ugh, fine but only because I like you,” Crowley teased before leaning in and kissing him “Engagement shag?”   
  
Aziraphale giggled at his fiance’s antics “We’ve had that already. Ten times.”   
  
“I don’t think we’ve really put the point across…”   
  
The blonde placed the laptop on the end table as his fiance kissed along his neck and began unbuttoning his blouse. He sighed, happily submitting under Crowley’s hands “You fiend.”   


  
Aziraphale popped a spoon in Alec’s mouth “How does that one taste to you?”   
  
“This isn’t weird to you at all?” Alec asked him, laughing before looking thoughtful “Oh, and too sweet for my taste. Wouldn’t go well with sweet tea.”   
  
“What a good thing we’re not serving that monstrous drink then?” Aziraphale quipped as he set the plate to the side “I agree though. Too sweet. But why would it be weird?”   
  
“Because…well isn’t it a bit weird to go cake tasting with a guy you slept with?”   
  
“Anthony has an important gala coming up and is busy painting, Anathema and Newt both had work, and Rose is on a mission. Besides, you’re my best friend. Why wouldn’t I want you to be a part of this?”   
  
“Am I in the wedding?” Alec asked him, shocked.   
  
“...Well, I assumed you would be?” Aziraphale told him, blushing.   
  
“No! I mean, yes! Yes, I would love that very much,” Alec responded. He picked up his fork and tried a piece of the cake Aziraphale was currently sampling. He scrunched his nose “Strawberries. Crowley will hate it.”   
  
“Yeah. Perhaps a simple buttercream will do?” Aziraphale asked him, looking thoughtful.   
  
“You can’t go wrong with buttercream.”   
  
  


“Alright but I call dibs on Alec,” Crowley told Aziraphale, looking irritated when everyone at the dinner table fell silent “What?”   
  
“You want me to be a groomsman? On your side?” Alec asked him, looking confused.   
  
“Why wouldn’t I?” Crowley asked him, looking even more confused.   
  
“No reason,” Alec told him quickly, causing everyone to burst out laughing.   
  
Aziraphale turned to Anathema and Rose “I suppose it’s obvious I want the two of you to be my Maid of Honor and groomsman, if that’s fine.”   
  
“No, I thought I’d just sit out on my best friend’s wedding,” Anathema teased, looking happy “Of course I’d be your Maid of Honor.” She looked at Newt and he looked flustered before clearing his throat.   
  
“I erm… I have an announcement to make and I suppose you all figured that, with me suggesting a family dinner,” He began, blushing.   
  
“Oh, I just thought you missed everyone,” Crowley teased.   
  
Newt shot him a dirty look before a small happy smile slipped onto his face as he leaned closer to Anathema to put an arm around her “We aren’t trying to steal anyone’s thunder but-”   
  
“-We’re expecting!” Anathema cut in happily.   
  
The entire dinner table erupted then, both a mix of joy, congratulations, and questions. Newt and Anathema happily took in everyone’s comments and questions with ease, as one does when they’re used to such a rowdy family.   
  
Later on, Aziraphale leaned on Anathema’s shoulder as they watched a movie “I’m happy for you, my dear.”   
  
“There was another thing… but we didn’t get the chance to get a word in edgewise.”   
  
“Hmm? What is it?” He asked her.   
  
“We were wondering if you and Aj would be their godparents,” She smirked at his reaction “I’ll take that as a yes?”   
  
“Of course it’s a yes, you silly girl!” He exclaimed, pulling her into a fierce hug “Has Newt asked Anth-”   
  
“Angel! We’re godfathers!” Crowley burst into the room, looking excited with Newt trailing behind him.

The tailor smiled politely at Aziraphale as he entered the shop “Would you like to make an appointment?”   
  
“Oh, we already have one, my dear,” He told her happily “It’s under Crowley.”   
  
She pulled it up in her computer and turned back to him and looked past his shoulder to Anathema “I expect you’re the bride getting a fitting?” Anathema blinked at her, confused.   
  
Aziraphale blushed “It’s a suit fitting for me, the groom, and my maid of honor and groomsman.”   
  
“Oh, are you Mister Crowley? The man I spoke on the phone with told me his fiance would be getting the fitting.”   
  
“Yes… that’s me,” Aziraphale told her, smiling.   
  
The woman stopped smiling “I’m afraid I don’t cater to your kind.”   
  
“I beg your pardon?” He asked her breathlessly.   
  
Rose strode forward and slammed his hand on the desk, making the woman jump “Vous merdé, vous chatte stupide. Do you know who this man is!? He’s a world-renowned author and his fiance is an artist who is quickly rising to fame, himself. You’ve passed up quite the opportunity for your business,” He glanced around with disgust, neither noticing nor caring when the woman paled in fear “Your taste is shit. Let’s go, Aziraphale.”   
  
Aziraphale let Rose lead him out of the shop, reeling from what just happened. He finally huffed a short laugh “You’re so terrifying when angry.”   
  
Rose clicked his tongue, pulling out his phone and sending off a text “We don’t allow outsiders to hurt our own.” His phone pinged with a text and he smiled “I found an LGBT owned shop about an hour from here and Michael pulled some strings and got us an appointment for today and Crowley and the boy’s an appointment for tomorrow.”   
  
“Rose… you’re an angel,” He sniffled.   
  
“If you cry I’m burning that bitch’s business down,” Rose warned.   
  
Aziraphale stopped crying, just in case.   
  
  


  
Aziraphale had opted for something calm and alcohol free for his bachelor party in order for Anathema to not feel left out with not being able to drink. He eventually opted for the three of them to have a stay in movie night and board games while Crowley and the guys when out.   
  
They had just gotten to the climax of the movie when Aziraphale’s phone went off with a call from Newt. He answered the facetime call to see Newt wheeze laughing in what appeared to be a pub before flipping the camera.   
  
Aziraphale and Rose and Anathema, who had crowded in to see the call, all burst out laughing at the sight they were met with.   
  
Crowley and Alec were quite obviously drunk and dramatically singing karaoke. Aziraphale recognized the song ‘Under Pressure’ by Queen and David Bowie. It was adorable how into it they seemed. The song finished up and everyone in the pub applauded then Crowley looked sad suddenly, speaking into the microphone “I miss my angel.”   
  
Alec loudly shushed him, giggling “This is your bachelor party.”   
  
“I miss him though,” He insisted, pouting.   
  
Newt flipped the camera back to himself as Crowley and Alec began arguing in the background “If all of you want to show up, I think that would make his night.”   
  
“What pub?”   
  


  
Aziraphale entered the pub right as it was Crowley and Alec’s turn to do karaoke and Crowley immediately saw him from across the pub, pointing excitedly “Everyone! That’s my angel! The pretty guy who walked in is my ANGEL!”   
  
The blond blushed from all the catcalls and hollers as he watched Crowley shoo Alec away front he stage before pointing at Aziraphale “I dedicate this one to my husband- Well tomorrow he’s my husband. Anyway-” The song started up, cutting him off as he began to sing a song Aziraphale hadn’t heard before. He blushed as he realized his husband was a good singer, even while drunk “ _ Babe, there’s something tragic about you… something so magic about you… wouldn’t you agree? _ ”   
  
He sang the song beautifully and Aziraphale felt his face growing redder and redder as Crowley sang for him in front of so many people, not ashamed in the slightest over how silly it was. He giggled as Crowley flipped Alec off during a rude lyric before turning back to Aziraphale, his eyes so achingly sincere. He’d lost his glasses while drunk, it seemed because he’d definitely left the house with them on.   
  
When the song ended, the patrons of the pub whooped and applauded, only getting louder as Crowley ran to Aziraphale and swept him off his feet and into a kiss “I missed you.”   
  
“You were gone for three hours, my love,” Aziraphale told him, giggling “Thank you for singing for me, it was sweet-”   
  
“I’ll sign us up for another!” Crowley exclaimed excitedly before rushing to the sign-up.   
  
Aziraphale shook his head before walking over to the booth to join their friends and ordering a glass of red for himself and a glass of water and chips for Crowley to sober up a bit. Anathema sipped happily on her soda and had somehow acquired a plate of pickles and nacho cheese and was dipping the pickles in the cheese and eating it as if it wasn’t a culinary monstrosity.    
  
Crowley slipped into the booth next to him and gave him a sloppy, drunk kiss before looking at his water and chips “Is this mine?”   
  
“Yeah, so you don’t feel terrible tomorrow at the wedding.”   
  
The redhead looked teary-eyed “You’re so thoughtful. This is why I love you.”   
  
“If I would’ve known you were this sweet when drunk I would’ve got you drunk a long time ago,” Aziraphale teased him as he stole a chip.   
  
Their names were eventually called and Crowley got up, slightly sobered but still definitely drunk “We’re going to win this, angel!”   
  
“I don’t think it’s a competition, dear,” Aziraphale laughed as his fiance pulled him towards the stage “What song?”   
  
“You’ll know when it starts,” Crowley winked as he took his microphone and the music started up “ _ Sometimes you’re better off dead- _ ”   
  
Aziraphale burst out laughing before joining in. He realized quickly why Crowley and Alec seemed to be having so much fun as he and Crowley danced and sang together, being silly and having fun for their last night before being married.    
  
When the song finished, the pub erupted into loud cheers and the pub owner came to the mic “Let’s give a round of applause for the happy couple! Let’s give them a huge congratulations for tomorrow!” He turned to them, smiling “Your last round of drinks for the night before we close is on the house.”   
  
“Oh thank you!” Aziraphale smiled genuinely.   
  
They walked away and Crowley glanced surreptitiously back “I get that he was being nice but you and I both know I’m about to leave an insane tip.”   
  
“You better leave him and our server both a generous tip!” Aziraphale agreed vehemently.   
  


  
Crowley stumbled through the door and stooped down to pet Davina and Freddy who had come to greet them “Hey, babies! Daddy’s gonna sleep in your room tonight because he can’t sleep with papa until after we get married.”   
  
Aziraphale giggled, drunk as well “Darling, that’s a silly rule. You can sleep in our bed, like normal.”    
  
“Oh- Oh okay,” He looked a bit sad as he turned back to the cats “Change of plans.”   
  


  
Crowley practically pounced on Aziraphale upon entering their bedroom, giggling against his lips “You’re going to be my husband tomorrow…”   
  
“And you’ll be mine!” Aziraphale gasped as Crowley moved down to his neck, “Darling-”   
  
“Say no,” Crowley told him teasingly, reaching down to unbutton his trousers.   
  
Aziraphale decided that it wouldn’t hurt to start the honeymoon earlier than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose may or may not have ruined that woman's business permanently.
> 
> The songs they sang were  
> Under Pressure - Queen and David Bowie  
> From Eden - Hozier  
> West End Girls - The Pet Shop Boys
> 
> Oh and if you're wondering, they all took ubers/lyfts to and from the pub so there was no drunk driving, don't worry!


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, showing up a month late with iced coffee: Hi guysssssss
> 
> **I had terrible terrible terrible writers block and a lot of it was caused from me being sad hours over my own wedding being postponed due to Covid :( Anways, I worked past my writers block!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy! This is the last chapter and then there will be an epilogue :)

Aziraphale sighed as his fiance wrapped a lazy arm around his middle before turning around in his embrace and cuddling against his chest. “We’re getting married today,” he stated, nearly disbelieving.   
  
Crowley hummed sleepily and leaned down to kiss him gently, “The first day of the rest of our lives.” He kissed Aziraphale again, far deeper and far too passionate for first thing in the morning.   
  
Aziraphale broke away with a breathless laugh, pushing at his fiance’s chest “Anthony-”   
  
“I was thinking,” Crowley interrupted, quickly rolling on top of the blond and pinning his wrists to the sheets, “that perhaps we can sort of pre-game our honeymoon?”   
  
“Darling, you’re absurd!” Aziraphale giggled as Crowley trailed kisses down his chest. He gasped when he felt Crowley’s mouth find it’s intended target, gripping his soon-to-be husband’s hair as he arched his back against the sheets.   
  
Perhaps ‘pre-gaming’ the honeymoon wouldn’t be such a bad idea, after all.

Anathema gave Aziraphale a deadpan look as he entered their dressing room at the venue. “You’re late.”   
  
“Yes, well I just have to put on a suit and a bit of makeup,” Aziraphale defended. “Do you perhaps know how to cover a love bite?”   
  
“Concealer and a prayer,” Newt announced as he entered the room, already in his tux. He smirked as he tilted Aziraphale’s head to examine his neck. “Perhaps, not shagging your fiance before your wedding? You know, I believe it’s tradition to wait until afterward.”   
  
Aziraphale scoffed. “You just assume we shagged-”   
  
“Crowley’s got a kick to his step and looks entirely too smug for someone who didn’t get laid this morning so it’s an educated guess,” Newt told him, deadpan. Now less talking, more makeup.

Rose snorted from where he stood, already in his tux and makeup. He half his hair pulled up into a topknot, exposing the undercut he’d got recently. It had been Alec’s idea (no surprise there) but it looked quite fetching on him.

Newt pointed a makeup brush threateningly at him. “You have no room to talk, sir, considering where I found you and Alec this morning.   
  
Rose flipped Newt off and Aziraphale giggled, giddy with the way his family had come together.

  
Newt had just put the finishing touches on Azirpahale’s wedding look when the door opened and his Aunt Eva strolled in. She gasped at the sight of him before pulling him into a hug. “ _ Mon merveilleux neveu _ .”   


“Thank you, my dear,” he told her, pulling back with tears in his eyes. “I wish so badly that my mother was here today but I know she’s in Heaven and she’s glad we’re here together.”   
  
“You and Rose being so close has brought me the greatest joy. You’re my nephew but you’re also like a second son to me and I know your mother would be so proud of you. She would’ve sobbed through your whole wedding, sentimental thing she was.”   
  
Aziraphale laughed wetly and his aunt playfully fanned his face. “No crying and messing up your makeup before your husband has a chance to see it.”

Aziraphale felt a flush of nerves as he stood at the doors to the castle’s chapel, waiting for his turn to walk down the aisle. He turned to his aunt Eva. “What if he isn’t there?”   
  
“That man looks at you as if you hung the moon and stars. There isn’t a thing in this world that would keep him away from you, much less a case of the cold feet.”

Eva gave him a reassuring smile and held out her arm. He took it with a happy blush. “I’m so unbelievably happy but so unbelievably terrified.”   
  
“Change is scary. Is that man worth it to you?”   
  
“Always has been,” he told her sincerely as the music began and the doors opened up.   
  
Crowley was at the altar wearing a black brocade coat. Aziraphale felt his heart in his throat as he walked in time to the music. He was halfway to the altar when Crowley turned around.    
  
Their eyes locked and all the nerves disappeared when Aziraphale saw the love and unbridled joy in his soon-to-be husband’s eyes. Crowley stared at him with shining eyes as if he couldn’t believe that this was happening. Aziraphale could hardly believe it either.   
  
He made it to the altar and Crowley immediately grabbed his hand and placed a kiss on his knuckles, making their wedding guests awe. “You are the most stunning man I’ve ever seen in my life and I’m a lucky man to be the man you love.”   
  
Aziraphale blushed and smiled at him. “You’re mistaken. You’re the most stunning man you’ve ever seen in your life. I know you’ve looked in the mirror.”

The priest cleared his throat and began his wedding speech but Aziraphale barely heard it as Crowley smiled at him and mouthed ‘I love you.’ That was all he needed, really.   
  
“Mr. Crowley, it is time for your vows,” the priest told them.

Crowley’s hands trembled as he slipped the wedding band onto Aziraphale’s finger and began speaking, “I had my vows written down and memorized but right now, with it actually happening, I can’t seem to remember.” He laughed shakily and gently pulled Aziraphale’s hand to his face to kiss his ringed knuckle before continuing “I thought I knew where my life would go when I was in my early twenties. I never imagined the events that happened in my life, nor where they took me. Nonetheless, the led me to you. You never gave up on me, even when I deserved it and you still loved me and cared about me when I made that nearly impossible.” Aziraphale gave him a watery smile and Crowley smiled back “I know vows mostly involve loving each other in sickness and in health or when life is rough but you already know that. I vow that even years from now I’d still travel thousands of miles for you, that I’d still grow your exotic tea plants so you’d have it fresh, even if they take up space in my greenhouse.” Aziraphale giggled wetly, his eyes bright, as Crowley spoke, “I vow I will watch those silly romcoms you love with you, that I’ll always sing to you in the kitchen because you’re tone-deaf and you like my voice, which is crazy to me.” They both laughed and their wedding guests laughed along with them. Crowley’s laugh trailed off and his gaze turned steady and serious, so full of love it ached “I vow that I will always try to be the man you deserve, even when we’re old and gray and I can no longer pull you into a waltz when we’re up late drinking wine. I vow I’ll always try my hardest to put that beautiful smile on your face that I fell so in love with. I’d love you thousands of years from now, just as much if not more than I love you today and I vow I’ll fall in love with you every day until death eventually parts us.”

Aziraphale’s hands shook as he slid a ring onto Crowley’s finger. “You’re so articulate while I can only speak how I feel through my hands.” He laughed nervously before continuing. “I thought I knew what love was. I’d read so many books about it. I thought it was going to be full of sparks and fireworks… but then I met you. Your love was never a spark or a firework, something that shines so bright and fleeting. It was solid and steady. You never wavered in your love for me, even when I didn’t realize what your love looked like. Your love was always looking out for me and protecting me. You put me above everything else, including yourself and you taught me what it was to love unconditionally. I vow to be as steady in my love for you, for the rest of my days. I vow that no matter where life takes us, I’ll be on our side. I’ll always choose our side.” He clutched at Crowley’s trembling hands as he offered him a small smile. “I vow that I’ll always be the kind of man you will travel thousands of miles for or grow exotic tea for or sing to in the kitchen because I love your beautiful singing voice. I was so terrified earlier, of what could change but when asked if you were worth it to me… I didn’t hesitate with my answer. Yes. You’re worth every hardship, every terrifying new step in our lives, everything my life has thrown at me has led me to you. You’re worth it all to me. I vow to always be worth it to you.”

“Do you, Anthony Crowley, take Aziraphale Fell to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”   
  
“I do. So fucking much.” Crowley said, his voice choked. Aziraphale giggled, mouthing ‘language.’ As their priest shot Crowley a dirty look before turning to Aziraphale.   
  
“Do you, Aziraphale Fell, take Anthony Crowley to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”   
  
“I do.”

“I now pronounce you husbands. You may kiss your groom.”

Crowley swept Aziraphale into a movie-style kiss as their guests cheered. Aziraphale wondered if there was any possible way he could ever be happier than he was at this moment.   


Aziraphale’s back hit the mattress as his husband lavished kisses on his neck. He grappled at his back, making an obscene moan “Anthony, my husband, please!”   
  
Crowley groaned at the titled and pulled back to tug at Aziraphale’s tartan bowtie. “I’ll take good care of you, husband, just be patient.”   
  
“You always do,” Aziraphale purred as he reached up to loosen Crowley’s bowtie as well. “The tartan bowtie looks sexy on you, by the way.”   
  
“Don’t ever say that to me again,” Crowley laughed, finishing the buttons on Aziraphale’s shirt before shoving it over his shoulders and moving to his own buttons. “I’m going to fuck you harder than I’ve ever fucked you. It’s the husband privilege.”   
  
Aziraphale burst out laughing, giddy with excitement and the weight of the wedding band on his finger, as his husband made quick work of his trousers before moving to remove his own. “I’m just now getting the husband privilege? What on earth have I’ve been getting before now?”   
  
“The boyfriend privilege and love of my life privilege. Now you get the husband privilege as a bonus.”   
  
“Mhmm,” Aziraphale hummed as Crowley walked to their suitcase and grabbed a bottle of lube. “I’m still thinking about how you made me warm your cock on the plane-ride here. It reminded me of our first time on a plane together.”   
  
“Seeing you splayed out like that, waiting for what I give you, reminds me of our first time at The Ritz. You behaved so well and you were so eager to please me… I was falling for you that night without even realizing it.”   
  
“Because my cunt is so- Oh!” Aziraphale broke off with a gasp as his husband slipped two fingers inside him.   
  
“Something like that,” Crowley teased, nipping at Aziraphale’s lower lip.

Aziraphale snatched him down into a kiss, moaning as fingers pushed against his prostate with an expert precision only found from thousands of hours of practice.

“It was the way you smiled, your sweet voice… the way you sing when I fuck you just right… I knew you were special and then you spent every moment since then showing me why.”   
  
“I love you,” Aziraphale murmured against Crowley’s mouth.   
  
“I love you too, so fucking much.” Crowley murmured back as he repositioned and lined up with Aziraphale’s entrance before pushing in with one smooth thrust.

Aziraphale made a noise like the wind had been knocked out of him as he wrapped his leg’s around his husband’s waist and gripped on as Crowley began rocking his hips rougher and harder into him. Crowley pinned him to the sheets by his wrists as he fucked against his prostate until Azirphale wailed, begging to come.   
  
Crowley shoved his cock against his prostate and held it there, smirking as Aziraphale babbled. “Now now, you know I like choices. Would you rather me let you come now and I won’t let you come after that or would you rather let me have my fun and then I’ll make you come as many times as you want afterward?”   
  
“I’ll wait,” Aziraphale gasped out.   
  
“Good boy,” Crowley murmured, slipping a finger into his mouth and watching Aziraphale suck on it as he began rocking his hips steady and slow. “You’re so perfect for me.”   
  
Aziraphale pulled off Crowley’s finger with a wet pop before mock pouting at his husband. “Where’s my husband privilege? You’ve quite definitely fucked me harder than this before.”   
  
“You’re a brat,” Crowley chuckled.   
  
“I’m waiting…”   
  
Crowley smirked then and Aziraphale shivered at the promise it held as his husband leaned down. “How much walking did you intend to do during our stay at this resort?”   
  
“Depends on the reason I can’t walk,” Aziraphale told him, smirking.   
  
“Alright, what my angel wants, my angel gets,” Crowley told him.   
  
  
The next morning Aziraphale was deliciously sore but was content and happy as a ray of sunlight reflected off his ring. He sat up and noticed Crowley was still sleeping, his morning problem stiff with intent.   
  
Aziraphale gently straddled his husband and began nibbling at his ear before moving down to his neck then his chest… then lower.   
  
Crowley stirred as Aziraphale peppered his groin with kisses. “Angel? What are you doing?”   
  
Showtime. Aziraphale smiled innocently, gripping his cock and licking the head before answering, “Your husband privilege.”   
  
“You’re a menace. A brat. A-”   
  
He pulled off with an obscene pop. “I’m your husband and the love of your life. Shut up and let me pleasure you.”   
  
“Taking charge, I like it," Crowley teased.   
  
“I just don’t want my elderly husband to tire out on the first day of our honeymoon,” Aziraphale quipped innocently.   
  
Crowley mock glared at him. “You hang out with Alec too much.”   
  
“You talk too much,” Aziraphale responded before taking his husband back into his mouth and sucking him to completion.   
  
Afterward, they soaked in a large tub of rose petals and Crowley massaged his aching muscles from the night before. Aziraphale thought about yesterday, how he wondered if he could ever be that happy again.   
  
His question had already been answered. He’d be happier every day spent with his other half. That was the happiest day of his life but now he has so much potential to make every day happier.   
  
He settled against his husband’s chest and looked up at him. Crowley was distractedly texting their friends to let them know they arrived safely the night before and Aziraphale shifted upwards to kiss the underside of his chin, just because he could.    
  
His fingers twitched to write for the first time in years and he knew he’d have all the inspiration he needed, right here.    
  
“I know I’ve said this so many times but I truly love you.”   
  
“I truly love you too. What are you thinking about?”   
  
“A romance novel.”   
  
“Hmm? Which one?”   
  
“This one,” Aziraphale told him, cuddling against his chest.

“Remember that time I called you crazy?”   
  
“Yeah, I’m including that,” Aziraphale responded, giggling as his husband stuck a rose petal to his cheek as ‘punishment.’   
  
“I bring it up because you think that our love story will sell?”   
  
“If I write the truth and sell it as fiction? Yes.” Aziraphale told him. “Our story is one of loss and love healing that aching wound. I think everyone needs that sentiment at some point in their life. We all experience loss. We all experience love.”   
  
“You have such a beautiful view of the world.”   
  
“Well, not everyone can be a gloomy and pessimistic artist now can we?” Aziraphale quipped.

“Gloomy and pessimistic is part of my charm,” Crowley told him, mock offended.   
  
“Hmm, what an odd pair we are,” Aziraphale mused.   
  
Crowley’s response was to pull him into a kiss that rivaled their first kiss as husbands in intensity.


	28. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys... I can't believe it's over! Thank you for everyone who stuck with this fic and left such lovely and supportive comments! Y'all are amazing and that encouragement helped!

Crowley eyed the gun pointed at his face and sighed, reaching for candy in his pocket before popping one in his mouth. He rolled his eyes at the henchmen’s confused looks. “I quit smoking years ago for someone important to me and I’m not letting you bastards make me start back. Sugar helps with my nerves. I really don’t enjoy killing.”  
  
At his words, one of the men moved to pull the trigger but Crowley was faster, shoving his hand upwards for the gun to fire off at the ceiling before twisting the man’s arm behind his back and kicking him. The henchman fell against his partner and Crowley took their distraction as an opportunity to pick up his dropped handgun and shoot them both.

Alec walked around the corner, looking annoyed. “Dude, this is a stealth mission!”  
  
“Yes well they were literally pointing guns at me,” Crowley snarked back. He checked his watch and sighed. “Let’s get this over with, alright? I’ve got places to be.”  
  
“Alright, _daddy_ .”  
  
“Oh shut up!” Crowley laughed, following Alec’s lead down the hallway.

They made it to their target and both aimed to shoot as the door to the office opened, revealing Rose. He shot them both withering looks. “It’s done.”  
  
“Really?” Alec inquired, tilting his head. “That was fast.”  
  
“I’m better than you,” Rose told him pragmatically. 

“He’s right,” Crowley agreed.

“The next time I’m attempting to prevent World War Three, I’m not asking you!” Alec snapped at Crowley.  
  
Crowley gave him a deadpan look. “If it weren't this important I wouldn’t be here. I have other things to be doing. Places to be.”  
  
Alec rolled his eyes but Rose checked his watch. “Shit. Yes, we need to hurry!” 

Aziraphale was sipping on a cup of cocoa when he heard the front door open. He smiled to himself at the sound of two high pitched voices chattering excitedly and cooing at the barking puppy.  
  
“Angel!” Crowley called, his voice drifting closer. “I was on my way home from my trip when I found the two prettiest girls in the entire world and had to take them out for ice cream.” 

Crowley entered the doorway, each arm weighed down by a five-year-old girl hanging off him like he was a tree. Aziraphale grinned as his daughter, Eve, ran to him and jumped in his lap to give him a hug. Their god-daughter, Rachel, joined in on the hug as the two girls began chattering excitedly about their good grades in school and their trip to the ice cream shop.

“I thought Anathema was picking the two of you up today?” He directed his question mostly at Crowley.  
  
“I called her and told her to get them from here because I missed my girl and wanted to take her out for ice cream.”  
  
“You were gone a week, dad!” Eve groaned in mock annoyance.

“It felt like a lifetime,” Crowley told her, reaching over to ruffle her hair. “But I’ll remember that attitude the next time you want ice cream.”  
  
“I was kidding!” She told him, giggling as he tickled her side.

“Alright girls, I think Winnie needs to go for a walk in the backyard,” Crowley told them. He smiled in amusement as the girls scrambled off Aziraphale’s lap in their excitement to play with the puppy outside. “Stay inside the fence and don’t let him wee all over my flowers or terrorize the cats!” he called after them as an afterthought.  
  
Aziraphale giggled as his husband bent down to give him a kiss. “I’m so glad you’re home. I was worried.”  
  
“It was the dumbest horse shit,” Crowley grumbled. He kissed Aziraphale again, deeper this time, before pulling back. “I’m just glad to be back home with you and Eve. I thought about the two of you the entire time I was away.”  
  
“So I don’t have to worry about you going back to your glamorous life as a spy?” Aziraphale teased, hooking a finger in Crowley’s belt loops as he stood up.  
  
“And miss out on you wearing those cute glasses while you write another bestseller? Not a chance,” Crowley cooed, pulling Aziraphale’s reading glasses off and putting them on the table. “Happy anniversary.”  
  
“Awe, you rushed home to be back in time didn’t you?” Aziraphale cooed, blushing as his husband peppered his face with kisses.  
  
“Maybe. I may have also got us reservations at the Ritz…” He trailed off suggestively.  
  
Aziraphale perked up at that, lowering his voice. “Is Eve staying at Anathema and Newt’s?”  
  
“Yep. We have the weekend to ourselves. That’s why I took her out for ice cream, to spend time with her before I was away from her a few extra days.”  
  
“Oh, she hardly missed you,” Aziraphale teased, pinching his husband’s cheek. “We had “no dad, no rules’ week and we planned to ice cream for dinner one night.”  
  
“Yeah, and how did that go?” Crowley inquired, arching an eyebrow.  
  
“We ordered sushi instead,” Aziraphale told him, standing on his toes to give him a quick kiss. “I’ll pack our bags. Please check on the girls and make sure they’re not letting Winnie bark at Freddie. You know it frazzles his nerves.”  
  
Crowley snorted in amusement. Winnie was a young puppy and was excited to play with his siblings and while Davina could tolerate his antics, Freddie wasn’t so fond of their new sibling. “I’ll do that now. Make sure to pack something pretty to wear for me.”  
  
Aziraphale gave him a look that indicated that he knew exactly what sort of outfit Crowley had meant and Crowley felt a shiver of excitement as he eyed his husband’s arse as he climbed the stairs. Damn, he was a lucky bastard.  
  
He heard Winnie begin barking and that was soon followed by Freddie hissing. He sighed to himself as he heard Eve reprimanding him in a tone that sounded frighteningly like Aziraphale’s. “Don’t yell at Freddie! He is a soft boy like papa!”  
  
“Who said your papa is soft?” Rachel inquired. Crowley could almost see that confused twitch of her nose she’d inherited from her late aunt and namesake.

“Daddy does. He said that papa is the softest and prettiest man in the entire world and I’m the prettiest and smartest girl.”  
  
“What does that make him?”  
  
“Lucky,” Eve responded matter of factly. 

Crowley laughed at that as he stepped out the door. “Winnie! Quit-” He broke off as Freddie jumped onto a worktable and knocked over a flower pot.  
  
He bit his tongue to fight back a curse, a habit he’d tried to kick along with smoking when he and Aziraphale adopted Eve. He still cursed, just not around Eve.

“Shit,” Eve groaned. Rachel covered her mouth in an offended gasp. 

Okay, maybe he’d slipped up a few times but that wasn’t his fault.  
  
“Oi! Language!” He reprimanded.  
  
“Oh, sugar!” Eve corrected.  
  
“Atta girl!” He laughed as the kids tromped in, followed by Winnie and Freddie. He eyed Freddie as he walked through the door. “You’ve disappointed me.”  
  
“Don’t sound so nomimous dad!”  
  
“Ominous, dear,” Aziraphale corrected her as he walked down the stairs to hand her a princess bag. “Want to stay the weekend at aunty Anathema’s? You’ll get to play with Rachel.”  
  
The girls squealed at the news and Aziraphale and Crowley shared amused looks. There was their answer.

Aziraphale eyed Crowley over the rim of his champagne glass before smiling contentedly. “I love you. Thank you for treating me to this.”  
  
“You’ll really love what I have in store for the weekend. Remember our honeymoon?”  
  
“You mean when I couldn’t walk enough to enjoy our resort?” Aziraphale laughed but his cheeks were flushed, indicating his interest.  
  
Crowley winked at him. “Half a decade calls for celebration, don’t you think?”

“Remember the first time we ate here?” Aziraphale purred, leaning in. “You took me upstairs and made love to me so good I longed for you to call for months before I saw you again.”  
  
“I’ll call you this time,” Crowley murmured back, teasing, as he leaned in to give his husband a quick kiss that was full of promise.

Aziraphale frowned as they walked up the driveway. “Why are the lights on?”  
  
“Beats me,” Crowley lied. He opened the front door and gestured for Aziraphale to walk ahead of him. “Anathema may have come to bring Eve home early.”

“Congratulations!” Their family shouted as they walked into the living room. Aziraphale nearly jumped out of his skin as Crowley held him in place with an amused laugh.  
  
Aziraphale looked around, confused, as he flicked the confetti Paul and Sammy had released onto his hair off. “Congratulations? For what?”

Adam exchanged an amused look with his boyfriend, Warlock, and nudged Eve forward. “Go on, tell him!”  
  
“You sold the best!” Eve told him, spreading her hands for emphasis.  
  
“I sold the… I… I did it again?” Aziraphale asked, disbelieving.  
  
Crowley chuckled, wrapping an arm around his emotional husband. “I got with your publisher as soon as I saw you were climbing the bestseller list and we agreed to keep it as a surprise when you inevitably hit the top.”  
  
“You say it was inevitable like you weren’t calling me crazy for wanting to write it,” Aziraphale teased, sniffling and pulling Eve into a fierce hug.  
  
Adam reached over and patted him on the head. “Don’t get all emotional like you didn’t deserve it.” Warlock nodded in agreement and joined Adam in on the head patting. Adam had really become something like a son to Aziraphale and Crowley, despite Aziraphale and Adam’s closeness in age. Adam had also become fiercely protective of Eve and visited with her frequently. He taught her to skateboard while babysitting once and Aziraphale had nearly panicked as he saw Eve fall down. Luckily, Adam had made sure she was wearing safety equipment so he was still in Aziraphale’s good graces.

Paul and Sammy went to the kitchen to grab the congratulatory cake while Eva picked up Eve and reached over to thumb a stray tear from Aziraphale’s face. “What did I tell you about crying and ruining your makeup? We’re going to take pictures tonight so smile!”

Anathema approached, hand held to her baby bump. “I’m so proud of you. Two best sellers and you’ve only published two books.”

Newt had joined them and nodded in agreement. “Spectacular, funky little angel man. What will you write next?”  
  
Aziraphale glanced over to where Eve and Adam were on the patio with Eva, showing off the skating ‘tricks’ he had taught her. Eva clapped in delight and said something, probably showering her great-niece with praises.

“Probably something about my kids. Adam may already be grown up but I never want either of them to lose sight of who they are. I don’t want them to ever feel they have to be the kind of person others tell them to be.” He smiled to himself. “Who knows? I may write a book about them saving the world solely with the power one can only find in self-acceptance.”

Muscular arms hugged him from behind and a kiss was planted on his cheek. “Hi gorgeous, sorry we’re late.”  
  
“Hey, Alec. Where is your husband?” Aziraphale laughed.  
  
“Right here,” Rose answered before stepping into Aziraphale’s view and batting Alec away before giving him a hug. “I’m only going to say this once but I’m proud of you. If you do this again, none of us will be surprised so don’t expect a party.”  
  
Aziraphale laughed at that as they pulled apart.

“Can you maybe, not kiss my husband please?” Crowley groused without any heat.  
  
“It was only a kiss on the cheek. Did you want a kiss too?” Alec quipped, sidestepping quickly before Crowley could grab him. “Oop. You’re getting slow, old man.”  
  
“I will kill you.”  
  
“What will Eve think if you kill her favorite uncle?” Alec gasped, mock offended.  
  
“She’ll be sad but she’s young. She’ll forget,” Crowley deadpanned.  
  
“You’re so cruel!”  
  
“Uncle Alec!” Eve yelled excitedly from the patio. “Come see me! I’m a skateboarder! Like Timmy Hawk!”  
  
“Tony Hawk,” Crowley called out, amused.  
  
“Oh, sugar! I got it wrong again.” She pouted as Adam and Warlock chortled at her expense. 

Rachel patted her shoulder diplomatically. “I like your tricks and you’re the best skateboarder in the world so he doesn’t matter.” She was definitely Newt’s daughter.

Alec laughed as he walked out onto the patio, addressing Eve. “I love the pink helmet and safety pads! I dig the look!”  
  
“Thank you! I’m gonna teach Rachel to skateboard so we can do it together,” Eve told him. “She’s my best friend,” she added as if that wasn’t common information in their family. Eve was adopted as a toddler and she and Rachel had immediately hit it off, even at a young age. They were inseparable.

Aziraphale accepted hugs and congratulations from Michael, Gabriel, and surprisingly, Bea. Still, not the oddest moment in his life.

Hours later, Aziraphale walked outside for a breather. He shivered against the cold as he inhaled deeply, reeling from his recent success. He looked up at the sky and smiled as he heard Eve yell something to Rachel as the played in the backyard. “I wish you were here mom. You would love the family we have now.”

A blanket draped over his shoulders and a familiar weight settled next to him on the steps. “You alright, angel?”  
  
Aziraphale sighed and leaned against his husband. “Yes, perfect actually. I was just talking to mom.”  
  
“Hmm? About what?” Crowley inquired softly.  
  
“Just talking about how she would love our family, being part of it.”  
  
Just as Aziraphale spoke, a shooting star streaked across the night sky. He felt choked up as he heard Eve yell from the other part of the yard. “Hi, grandma!” They’d taken her to watch a meteor shower before and told her about how they’re lost loved ones coming to check on their families.  
  
Crowley held him close and kissed the top of his head. “She is part of it. See? She just said ‘hi’ to Eve.”

Aziraphale let out a wet laugh and wiped at a tear before it fell out of his eye. “I suppose she did.”

With a bittersweet smile, Aziraphale stood up, clutching the blanket to keep it from falling off his shoulders with one hand as he held the other out for his husband. “Come on, let’s go back inside. Our family is waiting.”

Crowley grinned, taking his hand. Always and forever taking his hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end :') If you would like to see more shenanigans, smut, etc for this au please hit me up on my new fanfic twitter >> https://twitter.com/LeaveTheGarden

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone enjoys and please feel free to leave comments and kudos telling me what you think!
> 
> **Edit** I keep getting questions/dms asking if art, fics about this fic, etc are "fine" with me and I just want everyone to know that it is ABSOLUTELY fine with me, just please credit my work! <3 <3 <3


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